


Bitter Regrets

by Couchpotatoie



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Alpha Sakusa Kiyoomi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Atsumu is a great liar, Elite references, Emotional Hurt, Family Drama, How Do I Tag, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Omega Miya Atsumu, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reconciliation, Slow Burn, dead daichi: do not eat, friends with benefits to strangers to lovers, lovechildren, no beta we die like daichi, single parent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 115,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24787108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couchpotatoie/pseuds/Couchpotatoie
Summary: The omega setter, Miya Atsumu and the alpha spiker, Sakusa Kiyoomi developed a beneficial relationship towards each other. Specifically, a relationship regarding their second genders. That however, all changed when they learned that Atsumu was carrying life in his womb. The sudden change of events led to a very panicked and frustrated Kiyoomi, cutting everything they had in between them.Five years later, Kiyoomi happened to encounter two peculiarly familiar children. And what's more, he also encountered their mother.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 583
Kudos: 1968





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, i havent got the hang of ao3 yet, but i figured it wouldn't hurt to try, right? I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Ps: i just wanted sakuatsu lovechildren :((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

Not many people would've thought of a possibility where Miya Atsumu is an omega.

From the way he acted, the way he talked, the way he treated others, there was clearly some superiority in the brat. This clearly led to everyone thinking he was obviously an alpha. After all, that was what you'd think once you get to cross paths with him. It's basic knowledge actually.

But alas, remember the saying? Never judge a book by its cover.

Atsumu is good at hiding things. With a charming smirk and a teasing attitude as a disguise. Sometimes, even his twin couldn't tell if he was going through a hard time. He mastered the art of being 'okay', and probably also mastered stealing Osamu's desserts without letting the latter know.

Contrary to people's belief that Atsumu was an alpha, he hid behind the status of a beta. He erased all evidence of his omega being. He used scent blockers and suppressors, so that his heat would only come every three months. He did a good job, because no one suspected his usual three-day absence in the said span of time. And even when Atsumu chose not to use scent blockers, his scent is similar to that of an alpha’s. His scent is one of verdant timberland and citrus. Because of his nature-like scent, it’s easy to mistake him as an alpha. Add everything discussed earlier, then no one can blame you if you never considered him as an omega. 

That's why when his omega status was revealed to the black jackals, it was a big shock.

"I'm sorry for keepin' it a secret from everyone." The setter shyly chuckled as almost all his teammates stood there, mouth agape.

"It's fine." The captain, Meian broke the silence. "You were just trying to protect your dignity. It's totally understandable."

It wasn't really a big shock that a pro athlete was an omega. Although classified as the lowest class out of the three statuses, omegas can do a lot of things now. They can make history. The thing that made it a shock, was that it was Atsumu, the guy who was most likely to be an alpha.

Returning to the topic of pro omega athletes, take Hinata Shoyo for an example: an omega, standing there, smiling at Atsumu for his sudden confession. It's Shoyo's third practice ever since he returned from his pregnancy with his alpha's first child. Tobio did tell him to rest more, but the tangerine's passion for volleyball is just too strong.

There are other volleyball pro athletes who are omegas. Just like Suna Rintarou, the omega dating Atsumu's own twin. Rintarou has a two-year-old child with Osamu.

But most of the pro athletes are alphas. Just like this one alpha Atsumu has been eyeing lately. The one he had a little crush on ever since the youth camp in his second year of high-school. The one with luscious black curls that fall over the left side of his face, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Kiyoomi has also become the image of Atsumu's fantasies every time he would have his heat. Atsumu would imagine the raven doing the most sinful things to him. Pining him to a wall, bending him over a desk, lips descending down his neck, fingers opening him up and a lot more.

Atsumu's fantasies got so intense, that he needed the scent of his self-proclaimed alpha to minimize his pain. So one day before his heat, after his practice, he intentionally switched jackets with the spiker while the latter was in the showers.

He sneakily took the jacket out of Kiyoomi's locker and replaced it with his own. He then hurried out of the gym, ready to start a three day period of never ending pain. He knows very well that the raven will get furious once he finds out, but Atsumu couldn't care less. He needed to risk in order to survive another torturing heat.

Little did he know that this action will change his life forever.

\---

"This is not my jacket!" Kiyoomi exclaimed while packing up, getting ready to go home. He held the jacket using only the tip of his fingers, thinking about all the germs it may have.

"It isn't? But it looks like your jacket Omi-kun." Koutarou peeped from behind the lockers to find a frustrated Kiyoomi.

"All jackets look the same, Bokkun." Shoyo says from beside the owl.

"Hmm, now that you mentioned it, I saw Tsum-tsum pass by here a while ago. I think he dropped two jackets, and placed the other back in the locker where it was sitting on." Koutarou pressed a finger to his chin, expressing his thoughts.

"He dropped my jacket?!" Kiyoomi panicked. The thought of his jacket touching the dirty floor made him anxious.

"Ain't sure though. That's what my eyes told me." Koutarou responded.

"I have to get it back fast before that narcissist gets it dirtier!" Kiyoomi stomped off, not bothering to care about the other jacket that was left on one of the benches.

\---

Kiyoomi didn't even bother knocking. Once he learned that the front door was unlocked, he invited himself in, calling the blonde multiple times. (Of course, it took him long to search the whole house because of him spraying down every piece of furniture.)

Meanwhile, in the said blonde's soundproof bedroom, only one word can be repeatedly heard. Omi.

"Nngh, Omi..." Atsumu moaned. One hand on the jacket to help him sniff the scent, and the other one has its fingers prodding in and out of him. On normal heats, his imagination wouldn't get this vivid. But because of the scent of the jacket, everything feels so real. He closes his eyes, imagining the raven thrusting in and out of him, giving Atsumu what he needs.

His imagination was cut short when the bedroom door barged open, revealing the man of his fantasies, but he's frustrated. This caught the attention of the setter, as he stares at Kiyoomi with half lidded eyes. With the stare of the latter, even Atsumu's nest became uncomfortable. "Miya!"

Atsumu couldn't think straight, his mind clouded with lust. He was awfully red, and the situation didn't help the least. Kiyoomi on the other hand, caught a glimpse of the jacket and suddenly, he successfully processed everything that was happening.

Before he could say something, Atsumu stood up, and made his way towards the Kiyoomi. Once close enough, he pushed the taller onto his bed and straddled him, grinding against the clothed member of the alpha.

Again, Atsumu couldn't think straight and Kiyoomi was frozen.

"Mhmm... Ahh..." The omega threw his head back as he aggressively grinds on the Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi himself feels how wet Atsumu was, and that --including the moans of the latter-- turned him on. His cock started to rise up and harder, making Atsumu moan louder. "Yes, Omi that's--ah, that's it."

Once the alpha got to his senses, he shoved the omega off him. This action caused the cloud of lust in Atsumu's head to dissolve. Kiyoomi then stood up, looking at the wet mess of slick on his pants. He then flashed a disgusted look on the setter.

Atsumu carefully sat back on the bed, looking for the words to explain himself. He sighed as he turned to the alpha. "I'm sorry Omi-kun. Ya might've figured why yer jacket s' with me. Don't worry, I'll wash it once I'm finished with my heat and I'll return it. Ya can go take a shower for the mess I made and ya can borrow my-"

Before he could finish, he felt himself being pinned on the bed. The blonde was in shock. "Omi...?"

Kiyoomi inched his face closer until their noses were about to touch. "Succumb to me, submit to me, Atsumu."

Without giving the omega the time to respond, the alpha connected their lips together. And with that, the night went slowly. This was the start of their 'teammates with benefits' relationship.

\---

Atsumu stopped using suppressors. Now that there was someone with him during his heats, they became less and less painful and more pleasurable. Although during his heats, he had to wait for Kiyoomi to finish practice, it was always worth the wait once the alpha joined him in bed.

The setter was well aware that there was nothing behind their beneficial relationship. He knew that Kiyoomi never and will always never have the intent to bite him and make him his mate. He knew that the raven only thought of him as a fuck buddy, and there were no feelings involved. This relationship is purely beneficial. This relationship is a vent for Kiyoomi to let steam out, and for Atsumu to feel pleasure instead of pain during the torturous cycle.

Although Kiyoomi most likely feels nothing at all for the omega, the omega himself was slowly falling for the raven. He loved how sweet he acted during Atsumu's time of torture. He loved how every time the session ended, he would cuddle the setter to nullify the pain. He loved how concerned the alpha was for him. He loved how Kiyoomi was the only one who could help him go through his heat.

He loved all of that. Even when he was aware that this was all an act.

However, that all changed in one night. It was exactly five months, almost half a year into this relationship.

It was their day off, no practice for the day. But someone wanted to 'talk' to Kiyoomi. And so, the raven went to the said meeting spot and promised the blonde that he would go to his apartment afterwards to once again, help him with his heat.

Atsumu waited patiently for his self-proclaimed alpha. The alpha did as he promised, he came to Atsumu's apartment. However, he was in beast mode.

"Omi... Are ya alright?" Atsumu says weakly.

Kiyoomi said nothing and immediately joined the omega on the bed. The omega chose not to ask as the alpha was already kissing and teasing him.

After what seems like an eternity of teasing and preparation, Kiyoomi readied himself to thrust in Atsumu.

"Omi-kun, condoms are in the nightstand..."

"We don't need them." The raven responded in a husky growl. The voice was enough to send goosebumps to the blonde.

Atsumu smirked at this sudden fearless demeanour "Oya oya? Someone's feeling real brave right now." He teased, a teasing tilt evident in his voice.

Once Kiyoomi didn't bother to respond and to continue bickering with the blonde, Atsumu knew that that was a sign that clearly, something is bothering him. And it's not the simple bothering, such as how Atsumu would try to touch him during practices just to annoy him. This kind of bothering, was something that clearly got on his nerves, and will continually stay on his nerves.

The night went on without them engaging in conversation.

\---

Atsumu found it strange how his heat finished a day earlier than expected. He shrugged it off and thought that the gods were in his favor this month, and decided to bless him with an early end to his suffering.

That was before he started throwing up and sleeping more than usual.

He also became really, really moody (these moods can often compete with Koutarou's emo mood) and somehow felt unusually more tired than usual after practices. It wasn't till after a week of these symptoms that he decided to visit a doctor, a specialist on omegas that is.

And here he is now, sitting impatiently yet nervous for the results of the tests given to him. He hopes he can get a diagnosis and the right medicine for these pain-in-the-ass symptoms. Little did he know that the results were something farther than he expected.

"Miya Atsumu-san?" The doctor entered the room. She's a short beta with the kindest smile.

"Yes, Dr. Munemori?" Atsumu nervously asked.

Dr. Munemori gave that kindest smile of hers as she delivered the news. "Congratulations, you're pregnant."

\---

On the way to Kiyoomi's apartment, he was shaking. He didn't know how to break the news to the alpha. He didn't know how the alpha would react. Upon reaching his doorstep, he held up a shaky hand and knocked.

The raven unlocked the door and gave a questioning glance once he saw the omega. Atsumu took this as a signal to talk. "May... May I come in?"

Kiyoomi only made the glance more questioning. Atsumu sighed. "I-- I need to talk to ya... S' important."

Atsumu sat patiently in the living room as Kiyoomi prepared some tea. Once he placed the tray down at the center table, the blonde hesitantly took a cup. He started to sip on it, needing as much relaxation as he could get. This was gonna be hard to tell.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, the alpha spoke up. "So... Are you going to tell me or not?"

Atsumu placed his cup down and sighed. It's now or never.

"Omi... I'm--errr..."

"Spill it out already Miya."

"You see... There's something growing inside of me." Atsumu tried his best to explain.

Kiyoomi only gave him a confused expression. He didn't get whatever the fuck of a message Atsumu was trying to deliver. "What?"

Atsumu let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm pregnant."

And then silence. The omega was basically shaking. Each second that passes is excruciating. Kiyoomi then answered. "That's a shitty prank, Miya."

"Ya think I would prank about somethin' like this?" Atsumu snapped. Another round of silence entered, and from the facial expression of the taller, Atsumu knew he was not happy.

"Get rid of it." Kiyoomi suddenly spoke.

"What? Are ya crazy?" Atsumu exclaimed. Sure he might be an asshole, but ever since he was presented as an omega, he really looked forward to having kids. He wanted to know what it was like being a mother. He wanted to tell bedtime stories, he wanted to kiss his kids as he sends them to school. He finally got what he dreamt of. Although in his situation right now, he had them too early. "I'm keeping it Omi." He says with determination.

"I don't want it." The alpha responded calmly. This made the omega's heart break.

"Omi, please reconsider. It is also yer child, y'know?" Atsumu pleads but Kiyoomi looks unmoved.

"I told you, I don't want anything to do with it." Kiyoomi says more strictly.

"Omi, hear me out!"

"I'm cutting off everything we have." Kiyoomi says.

"We didn't even have that much, please listen t' me!" The omega can feel tears well up in his amber eyes.

"Get out."

"You can't do this to me!"

"GET OUT!" Kiyoomi yells. That scared the blonde. And with tears rolling down his face, he stood up and left.

\---

Atsumu decided to try to talk to Kiyoomi once the latter calms down. They didn't have much interaction during practice, but the omega tried his best to approach the spiker, which all attempts were successfully avoided.

This went on for a few days. Atsumu kept his pregnancy a secret, wherein only the two of them knew. He decided he was going to play until his stomach got more obvious. One day, he successfully got to talk to Kiyoomi.

"Omi..." He started.

"Don't you dare say a thing." The raven hissed, throwing glares at him. He then walked away, and with that, Atsumu knew that Kiyoomi's decision was permanent.

Everyday, he would cry himself to sleep. He would stop playing for a few months, he would stop earning income, how will he feed himself and the child in him?

He stopped playing on his third month. A few more months passed and finally, he knew what to do.

\---

"Are you sure about this Atsumu-san?" Dr. Munemori asked, face stained with concern. Seven months into the pregnancy and he was now laying in the hospital bed of the omega clinic. "Do you really want to do this to your children?"

Atsumu gave a determined nod.

"Yes."


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa Kiyoomi finds himself with two peculiar children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

Five years have never passed so quickly. Kiyoomi and Atsumu both parted ways, with the raven continuously playing for the Black Jackals, and with the blonde moving to Sendai, joining the division 2 team, the Sendai Frogs.

Today the Jackals have a match against the EJP Raijins to start off the season. Unsurprisingly, the Jackals won with the last set having a score of 16-14. Kiyoomi was walking down the hallway, he just finished packing and is going to meet up with his teammates for the victory celebration. He then heard two soft voices from the corner behind him.

"Are you going to ask him now or not? Mama might be looking for us right now." The first voice, the voice of a little boy, said.

"Yeah, yeah, hold on. He's just soooo tall! Ya can judge me if you're not scared." The second voice, the voice of a little girl, responded with a tint of sass.

"It's just an autograph! Geez you're getting us into trouble. Hurry up will ya?" The little boy scolded.

"Okay, okay. But look! He really has the same curls as me! He even looks better up close!" The little girl complimented in awe.

"You're not even that close! For God's sake Sumi, hurry up!" The little boy snapped.

"I can hear you both. You can come out." Kiyoomi says, wanting to get this over with.

This made the two children jump in shock and they slowly revealed themselves. Once the alpha knows that they came out of their hiding spot, he rolls his eyes before turning to them. His eyes widened once the kids came into his view. A little girl, and a little boy. The little girl has her black curly hair --same as Kiyoomi's-- tied into low pigtails. She has big brown eyes that shone with nervousness as she stared up at him. Meanwhile the little boy has his black wavy hair, paired with the same color of eyes as the little girl. They too, also shone with nervousness.

Their faces looked awfully familiar.

"Uh... Sakusa-san, we're fans." The little girl chuckled awkwardly.

"Correction, you're his fan. I'm on Mama Rin's team." The little boy corrected. Kiyoomi took the time to analyze the boy's statement. Mama Rin's... Team? Is he talking about the Raijins? Is he talking about Suna Rintarou?

"Anyways! Please don't mind my brother here, he's such a killjoy!" The little girl chuckled once more, but this time, it was void of awkwardness and was actually genuine. "Sakusa-san, can I... Uhmm..."

"She wants your autograph." The little boy rolls his eyes, finishing his sister's statement.

"Sure." Kiyoomi nodded, still disturbed by the familiarity of the children. He then reached down for the pen and the little notebook that the girl held out and started scribbling his signature. He gave the notebook back afterwards.

"Thank you so much!" The little girl beamed with happiness. Kiyoomi decided to ask something since his mind keeps bugging him to do so.

"May I ask, where is you mama?" Kiyoomi inquired, letting curiosity getting the best of him.

"Oh, mama? He's--"

"Found ya!" The alpha heard a familiar voice behind him.

He knows that accent oh so well.

"Atsumuuuuu!!!!" The little girl ran to the source of the voice and her brother followed. Kiyoomi turned as his eyes widened for a second time. Yes, his eyes clarify for him. Crouching in front of him, hugging the little girl was no other than Miya Atsumu. The little boy just stood there, watching the exchange. Atsumu notices this and holds his other arm out, gesturing for the boy to approach him.

"Are your hands clean?" The boy asked plainly. That question made Kiyoomi freeze. Atsumu rolled his eyes playfully and took out a little bottle, then fiddled with it. "There's a reason why I always carry sanitizer with me, Kitsu."

The little boy smiled as he approached Atsumu. The blonde then patted his head and hugged him too. "Where havya' been? Why did you roam around without letting mama Rin know?"

"I was following Sumi, making sure she didn't cause any trouble." The little boy calmly responded.

"I just wanted an autographhhh!!!" The little girl whined.

"Next time, inform us if ya want somethin'. You know Atsumu will do everything to give it to ya." The omega informs the two kids as they nodded obediently.

He then turned to look up. "Sorry for the trouble-"

He stops when he recognizes the face staring back down at him. The omega stared back with wide eyes. The tension between the raven and the blonde is scattered in the air. Both looked at each other with shock evident in their faces. It's been 5 years since they looked at each other. This went on for a few seconds before Atsumu composed himself. He then stood up, holding the kids' hands.

"Oh. Long time no see Sakusa-san." Atsumu smiles politely. "As I was sayin', sorry for the trouble these kids caused, n' thank you for bearin' with their mischief."

The little girl pouts at this while the little boy gives a small smirk at his sister. Atsumu then continued. "Oh and thank you for givin' Sumi yer autograph. If ya excuse us, we'll be going."

Atsumu excused himself with a bow as he started to walk away with the kids, leaving Kiyoomi frozen in the middle of the hallway. He then starts to process it all. Whose kids were they? What is Atsumu's relationship with these kids? How did they know Kiyoomi? Is it possible that--

No. Kiyoomi mentally slapped himself, remembering what Shoyo said five years ago.

_"Hey! I saw Atsumu-san at the omega clinic yesterday!" Shoyo initiates the conversation. "His belly was swollen! I didn't even know he was pregnant."_

_Kiyoomi choked on the water he was drinking, listening intently._

_"Really??!" Koutarou asks. "But wait a second, what were you doing at the clinic. Don't tell me you're---"_

_Shoyo cuts him off. "That's what me and Tobio thought. Luckily I'm not. I went there to get tested."_

_"Oh, alright." Koutarou says, satisfied with the clarification. "Anyways, back to Tsum-tsum, what was he doing in there?"_

_"No idea. But I heard their conversation with the doctor." Shoyo beams._

_"Really? What did you hear???" Koutarou asks, curiosity beaming._

_"I think it went like, 'do you really want to do this to your children?' and Atsumu-san replying with a yes."_

_Kiyoomi's eyes widened. Koutarou had the same thought but unlike Kiyoomi, the owl decided to ask about it. "Children? Atsumu is having twins?"_

_"Correction: Atsumu-san was having twins. From what was implied in the doctor's question, I'm pretty sure he had an abortion." The redhead says._

_"That's soooo like Atsumu. But, I pity the children though." Koutarou frowns._

_"But who's the father then?" Shoyo asks._

_"I wonder. That's sad, the father could've had twins." Koutarou taps his chin, deep in thought, oblivious to the fact that the father was listening as they converse._

From that conversation, Kiyoomi holds on to the thought that Atsumu did get an abortion. Without a mate, he knew it was unlikely that the blonde could raise children by himself and abortion was the best option. 

And if they are his children, that is, why do they address the blonde as Atsumu only? Why don't they call him mama or mother or mommy? Instead, the person they called mama is Suna.

It would've made sense if Suna was the mother. Kiyoomi learned from Keiji, --who is surprisingly close to Osamu-- that Osamu and Suna are engaged. They even have a daughter who is currently around seven or eight. The reason why he found the kids' faces familiar was that they looked like Atsumu. But then again, Osamu is Atsumu's twin, so that kind of makes sense that the mother of those kids is Suna.

But then again. Where did the little girl get those black curls? Where did the little boy get his wavy locks? The resemblance of the girl's hair and Kiyoomi's very own curls are mind blowing. Did Suna cheat on Osamu? If he did, then that would piece the puzzle together.

No, his mind retorted. If Osamu isn't the father of those kids, then where else did they get that iconic Miya face? 

His mind is spiralling right now, trying to theorize about two stranger kids he met just a few minutes ago. He ultimately decided to not think about it as he made his way to the venue where he was supposed to meet the rest of the team. It wasn't until his phone buzzed. He wasn't about to answer but he saw the caller ID, so he sighed and slid the answer button.

"Kiyoomi! You would not believe what happened!" the other side of the line enthusiastically said.

"What is it now Motoya?"

"Sunarin introduced us to two little kids! And they look exactly like you!" Motoya beamed.

"Tell me about it." Kiyoomi rolled his eyes. Great. 

"Wait... Did Sunarin cheat on Osamu with you?" The libero asked.

"What? No! I haven't even talked to him personally, how do you expect us do have some kind of affair?" Kiyoomi defended, disgusted at the thought of mating a person who is already in a relationship.

"If you say so. I'll call you later couz', I still have some errands to run. Bye." And with that, Motoya hung up.

\---

The second time Kiyoomi saw the little girl and boy was about three weeks later, when Keiji brought them to the gym during a Saturday practice. And this time, he learned a revelation. 

As stated, Keiji and Osamu are surprisingly close, especially that Keiji is Onigiri Miya's star customer. Because the omega often visits the shop, he would talk to Osamu frequently. That's why they became open to one another. They were so close, that Osamu even trusted the kids to him. Sometimes when the alpha gets busy, he asks if Keiji could look after the two in exchange for a free meal.

Keiji had three kids with him. The boy, the girl and his own child with Koutarou that was just around the age of the other two.

"Keiji!!!" Koutarou beamed as he ran to his husband. He threw his arms around the shorter's neck and inched his face closer. As their lips were about to meet, Keiji's palm went in between the gap as he whispered. "Not here Kou, there are children."

"Oh, sorry." The spiker pulled away and chuckled sheepishly. He then realized what his mate said and then repeated it. "Wait... Children?"

Koutarou stared down to look at his son and smiled as he carried him. "Aki is here, but--"

It wasn't until he noticed two other children hiding behind Keiji's legs. This made Kou enthusiastic. He crouched down and whispered softly, soft enough to not scare them. "Hey, it's alright. You can come out."

After the soothing words were uttered. The two hesitantly revealed themselves. They clung onto Keiji's pants, still intimidated by the presence of this 6-foot-three spiker. As if on cue, the rest of the team approached the couple, including Kiyoomi, who widened his eyes once he saw the familiar faces of the two.

"And who might you two be?" Koutarou asked, still with a soft voice.

"Keiji-san!" Shoyo jumped as the others followed. They exchanged greetings before he introduced the two kids.

"Kou, everyone, the sweet little girl is Miya Sumi and the little boy is Miya Kitsu." Keiji introduced. He then crouched down to the kids and whispered, "Sumi, Kitsu, say hi."

"Are... They the Jackals?" Sumi hesitantly asked.

"Yes Sumi. They are." Keiji smiled softly and proceeded to pat her head. The girl only stared in awe.

"Hey." Shoyo approached the little girl with his signature smile. "I'm Hinata Shoyo, you can call me uncle Sho."

"I know you!" Sumi exclaimed, barely containing her excitement. Shoyo swears he can see little twinkling stars on her deep brown irises. "You're the short spiker who can jump really, really high!"

"Woah, you know me?" Shoyo asked, awed by the little girl's ability to recognize him. Sumi nodded as Keiji chuckled. "Sumi here is a Jackals fan."

"Well, it's an honor to meet such a young fan." Shoyo bowed as Sumi giggled, no longer shy. Meanwhile, Kou approached the boy. "Hi!" He reached out to him but Kitsu only flinched. 

"Don't touch me please, you might be dirty." Kitsu gave his best attempt in politeness. This leads to Kou's dramatic whining. "You can touch my husband but not me? No fairrrr!!!"

"I know uncle Keiji is clean because uncle Samu said so." Kitsu responded calmly. 

Koutarou processed what was just said and took the time to think. "Wait... Uncle Osamu?" He mumbled to himself, confused. He thought Osamu was the father. The spiker then turned to his love. "Keiji, isn't Osamu their father?"

Keiji shook his head. "They don't have a father."

"Oh..." 

"Then is Suna-san their mother?" Shoyo asks. The raven haired omega shook his head once more. 

"Atsumu is."

Kiyoomi froze. So Atsumu didn't abort the kids? No, this can't be. What about what Shoyo heard all those years ago? As stated, it is very unlikely that he kept the children. Especially without them having a father. The editor must be lying, right? "You're kidding, right?" He unconsciously said out loud before he could stop himself. 

Keiji turned to the alpha, giving a small smirk. It may be small but Kiyoomi can sense that Keiji knows something. "Not at all Sakusa-san. They are really Atsumu's kids." 

"But I thought he had an abortion!" Shoyo exclaimed. The news must've shook him that Atsumu is a mother. In fact, it shook everyone.

"How can you be so sure Shoyo-kun?" Keiji asks. 

"I... Err... Heard the doctor and him converse and I guess an abortion was implied..."

"Hmmm, but did you actually hear word 'abortion'?" Keiji asks again. Shoyo shyly shakes his head. By this point, the other rookie players were playing with the three kids, chatting with them, complimenting them and even teaching them volleyball basics. Meanwhile, the four of them --Koutaro, Keiji, Kiyoomi and Shoyo-- talked about the two peculiar kids. 

"I heard from Tsukki that the twins address Atsumu as 'Atsumu' only. Why is that?" Shoyo asks. 

"Single parent omegas are being criticized for getting pregnant without a mate, that's why in public, Atsumu wants the kids to not address him as mama and all its variations." Keiji explained. "But at home, he is being called 'mama'. Only the people he's close with and his family know that the twins are his. So please don't spread it." 

"You got it babe." Kou smiles and the pet name made Keiji blush. 

"So to cover it up, he lets the twins call Suna-san as 'mama' in public?" Shoyo tilts his head slightly. 

"Mhm." 

And all of the sudden, Koutarou asks the million dollar question. "Do you know who the father is?"

Keiji's eyes swiftly travel to Kiyoomi and he smirks. The alpha gulps. Keiji breaks the eye contact as he looks back to his beloved. "Hmm, I guess? Although I'm not sure if my hunch is correct. Osamu-san didn't tell me who the father is either." 

"Well consider him lucky! Me and Tobio want twins too!" Shoyo pouts. 

"Damn, it really must run in the family, am I right? Twins born by a twin." Kou giggles. 

"But I really want to see Atsumu-san again. I really miss his tosses." Shoyo frowns. "Where is he anyway right now to leave the twins with you?" 

"Actually, every Friday night they travel here from Sendai. I just learned that Atsumu-san isn't earning enough as a division 2 player, so he needs additional income. To do this, he coaches volleyball every weekend at a school in the farther parts of Tokyo. With him away from Sendai, no one could take care of the twins so he brings them with him to Tokyo and leaves them with Osamu-san." Keiji explains. "Sometimes Osamu-san leaves the twins with me since they get bored at his house." 

"That must be hard... But why did Atsumu-san quit the Jackals anyway? Clearly he knew that he can still play for the time even after his pregnancy. And he can even earn enough to support his family." Shoyo wondered.

Once again, Keiji's eyes were quick to scan Kiyoomi. "I've been wondering the same thing."

Kiyoomi notices this action and now he's sure. Keiji knows everything. Whether Atsumu and Osamu told him, or whether he figured everything by himself. He probably settled with the latter, because it isn't a surprise that the observant Keiji would figure out something so obvious. 

"Hey hey hey! Why don't we have lunch together? Sho, bring your kids and Tobio!" Koutarou proposed lunch.

"With the twins? That's actually a good idea!" Shoyo beamed, agreeing on the idea. The two then turned to Keiji. 

"Can't argue with that. Sakusa-san can act like their guardian in the meantime." He turned and gave a smile to the curly-haired spiker.

"I'll have to turn that offer down. Apologies."

"C'mon Omi!!! You're the only one without kids! Don't you wanna experience the joys of parenthood?" Koutarou asked.

Somehow, Kiyoomi answered with a no, but he had no idea how he ended up in the diner, with five children and two couples. He sighed once seated at the corner, the twins in front of him. 

"Are you sure this is okay uncle Keiji?" Kitsu asks. "Uncle Samu won't get mad, won't he?"

"Don't worry Kitsu, Osamu-san won't mind." Keiji smiled from beside Sumi as he reached to pat the little boy's head. Menus were then handed out by the waitress as they all took the time to decide their orders. 

Sumi held the menu given to them in the middle. "Kitsu, you hold the other side." 

"Hold it for me. That's surely dirty." 

"Your fear of dirty things really gets on my nerves." 

"Well, let's say that I'm traumatised by the fact that I have a germ for a twin." Kitsu snarkily replies. 

This earns a loud laugh from Shoyo (who is seated beside Kiyoomi) and Koutarou. Kiyoomi lets out a small smile. He sure has the teasing attitude of his mother. Sumi glares at her brother before turning to Keiji beside her. "Uncle Keiji, do you have a spray and a sanitizer?" 

"Unfortunately, I left mine at the office. Try to ask Sakusa-san though, he's complete with sll things hygienic." Keiji turns to smile at the said alpha.

"Sakusa-san, do you have any?" Sumi asked. Her brother rolled his eyes. "You have no shame, dontcha? I can go a day without sanitizer as long as I don't-" 

"I happen to have some." Kiyoomi says to stop their bickering. This seems to shut up the five year olds as Kitsu looks at the raven with hopeful eyes. "May I have some then?"

"Don't touch the bottles. I'll spray the menu from here and I'll pour some sanitizer in your hands." Kiyoomi warns as the little boy nods. After making sure that the menu was clean, the twins took their order and told it to Keiji, who then told it to the waitress along with the others' orders. They then ate peacefully, having small talk then and there, it wasn't until Tobio noticed. 

"Sumi, your curls are lovely." The Adlers setter pointed out. 

"You really think so? Thanks uncle Tobio! It makes me happy to hear that." Sumi beamed at the compliment. 

"Really? Why is that?" Kou asked. 

"Ma-- I mean Atsumu--" 

"Sumi, it's okay. We already know that Atsumu is your mother, you are free to address him like that in front of us." Shoyo says. 

"You don't see him... Differently?" Sumi asked nervously. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Back then, the teachers whispered about mama, saying his prettiness and skill is such a waste because he's a single parent." Kitsu filled in for his sister. He looked at his food, eyes void of emotion. It made Kiyoomi's heartbreak to hear that. 

"I'm... I'm so sorry to hear that." Shoyo says as they all fall quiet. "But we don't see Atsumu like that! He's been one of the best setters in the Jackals! And he's a really good friend!" 

"Jackals...? Did mama used to play for the team?" Sumi asked. 

"Well yeah! Before he had both of you, that is." Kou answered. The two kids looked at each other. Silence evaded for a short period of time. 

"Kitsu?" 

"I know... Mama lied." 

"What?" Kiyoomi asked. He himself has gotten curious about the biography of the two children in front of him. 

"Mama denies that he played for the jackals and always tells us not to ask again." Kitsu supplies.

"Really? How could he!" Koutarou slams his hands on the table. His love tries to calm him down. "Shh, Kou. Surely there's a reason why he would hide something like that from his own kids. Surely he's protecting something from someone." 

Kiyoomi thinks he imagined it, but he swore he saw those deep blue eyes flicker at him, meaning to tell him something. Tobio then cut the silence. "Anyways, back to your curls. What about Atsumu?" 

"He's really weird. When he's in a very bad mood, he will yell at me, saying he doesn't want to see me because I remind him so much of our father. And sometimes after he locks himself up for three days, he would hug me tightly, crying saying I look so much like... papa." She finished silently. Her silence spread to the whole table, everyone not knowing what to say. 

And to not act suspicious for being too quiet, Kiyoomi has the audacity to ask: "Do you know where your father is right now?" 

Sumi is still silent. She's reminiscing about the memories of her mother crying in front of her. Kitsu seems to notice this so he decides to answer in his sister's stead. 

"Mama said he's dead." 

Kiyoomi's eyes widened. In his mind, he only connected one thing from the twins' revelation: if he's the father, then Atsumu must've tried his best to make sure that the twins don't see him anymore. 

It must've been dumb of him to assume that he's the father, but everything fits so well. Now that it was confirmed that Rintarou indeed is not their mother, he pieced everything together. The time stamps: it fits so well. The twins look somewhere around four and five and he remembers clearly that five years ago, the blonde was begging to be heard out as he pushed him away. The appearances are a big piece in the puzzle. Kiyoomi is surely confused that with the two loud mouths in the table, there are no mentions of the resemblance of his and Sumi's curls. Oh, and Kitsu's fear of germs! Where else could've he inherited that?

He was cut off from his thought process as Koutarou once again slammed his hands on the table. "Alright! No negative thoughts right now! Sumi, Kitsu, tell your mother to try and visit the team so we can have lunch with him as well!"

"Yeah! I'd like that! We can also schedule a playdate for these kids!" Shoyo beams at the idea.

Sumi looks up and smiles at the invitation of the spiker. "We will uncle Kou, uncle Sho, thanks."

The lunch continued with multiple small talks. The couples introduced their kids to the twins, in hopes of making new friendships. The little boy with heterochromia and wavy black hair is Bokuto Takaaki, Keiji and Kou's son. It was revealed that he was born over six months earlier than the twins. He started to talk to the twins and hearing their exchange was just adorable. The other black haired boy with chestnut brown eyes is Kageyama Shino. He's six years old and his younger ginger-haired blue-eyed sister, Hiroyo (who is currently being cradled in Shoyo's arms), is turning two. Shoyo and Tobio also share their plans for their daughter's second birthday.

"You guys have daughters. I want a daughter too." Koutarou pouts. Keiji then giggles as he gets closer to his alpha in an attempt to whisper. He then pats his tummy. "The little one might be a she."

His attempt to whisper failed as Shoyo gasped. "Huh??? Keiji-san? You're pregnant!?!"

"You're so noisy Sho." Tobio scolded his husband. Keiji only chuckled as he nodded. Koutarou then enthusiastically informed. "He's three weeks now!"

"Congrats Kou, Keiji!" Shoyo giggled excitedly. He can't wait to have another niece or nephew. Tobio said his congratulations as he chuckled at his omega's enthusiasm.

"Congrats." Kiyoomi only congratulated and Keiji thanked him with a nod and a smile. That smile then turned into a smirk. "How about you Sakusa-san? Do you intend to have kids?"

"No." A simple answer. He knows what Keiji's up to.

"Well, if you do Sakusa-san, your kids would be lucky. They'd have such a clean father." Kitsu says.

"And having a Jackal as a parent is sooo cool!" Sumi beams. "Aki, Shino and Hiro are so lucky."

"I know right!" Aki exclaims, blue and yellow eyes displaying pride. He inherited Koutarou's enthusiasm and hyperactivity.

They continued to chat until Kitsu wanted to wash his hands. Sumi said the same and as they were about to leave, Shoyo called for them. "You guys are five. You shouldn't be going around in an unfamiliar place without adult supervision." 

"It's alright uncle Sho. We have each other." Kitsu says calmly. Totally opposite from Atsumu's 'I should've ate Osamu at the womb because I want the privilege of being an only child'.

"Sakusa-san will come with you." Tobio then says. Kiyoomi freezes.

"Alright!"

\---

At the public sink of the dinner, the five year olds couldn't reach it so Kiyoomi had no choice but to help carry them.

"Me first!" Sumi says after she observed her hesitant brother. The alpha nods as he carefully lifts the little girl.

Her body is so small and warm. He could feel her torso moving from her breathing. Somehow, it feels nice. So this is what Koutarou and Shoyo felt as parents? This is why in every opportunity, they would brag about how happy they were with their children? He was careful with his grip as he brought the little girl closer to the sink. She then turned the tap on and hummed a happy tune. She must be very happy.

Once Sumi finished, he carefully lowered her as she said her thanks. He then turned to the still hesitant Kitsu. "Mama said not to let strangers hold me."

"I'm pretty sure mama said not to talk to strangers." Sumi corrected.

"That's not the point!"

"Don't worry. Just like what Keiji told you, I'm a clean stranger, right? And if you don't trust me enough, maybe the fact that I'm only touching your clothes will ease you." Kiyoomi explains softly. Still a bit hesitant, the little boy approached the spiker's arms.

The warm sensation flooded the raven once more as he lifted Kitsu and helped him wash. He then thought, what if he didn't push Atsumu away? He could've had this feeling five years ago. A baby or two in his arms as he kissed their foreheads goodnight. Singing lullabies and reading bedtime stories. Teaching his kids how to walk, and even hearing a child's first words. He never realized how much he yearned for that. Maybe that explains why his other two teammates were much happier than he was.

All of a sudden, he didn't want to go home to an empty apartment. He imagined kids running up to him once he arrived saying, 'papa, you're home!'. He imagined kissing his omega upon setting foot in the kitchen, with them cooking his favourite dinner, the kids telling him about their day. Are those the 'joys of parenthood' that Koutarou was telling him? It must be nice. 

Once Kitsu finished, he carefully put him down. His thoughts then drifting back to the kids. Is he really the father? He doesn't want to assume but the evidences are-

"Kitsu? Sumi?"

The alpha freezes when he hears the voice behind them. It's so familiar. Oh so familiar... That voice used to be broken, begging him to think again. It was deja vu. He turns to see a mop of blonde hair paired with a confused look on his face.

The mother, Atsumu is here.


	3. II

"Atsumuuu!" Sumi ran up to her mother, excitement evident in her voice.

"Sumi! What are you doing here?" Atsumu asked in confusion. Nobody could blame the setter though, he just entered a diner that he's never been to and miraculously found his kids in the public sink, of course his mother instincts would have mixed emotions about this.

"Uncle Samu left us with uncle Keiji and uncle Keiji brought us to the Jackals' gym. They invited us for lunch." Kitsu explained, now approaching the blonde.

"So... They're eatin' 'ere right now?" Atsumu asked as both kids nodded. "Why are you with Sakusa-san?"

"Tobio-san told me to accompany them to the wash." Those were the alpha's words to him in five years. The last he told the omega was 'Don't you dare say a thing'.

"Is that so? Sorry for the trouble then." Atsumu smiles politely. Kiyoomi noticed something. His bratty, smug smiles were gone. They were replaced by these boring polite smiles. It's bizarre that in the span of five years, someone can really change.

"Why are you here mama?" Sumi asked curiously.

"Sumi..." Atsumu scolded once he heard how the little raven addressed him.

Kiyoomi noticed this so he spoke up once more. "You don't need to hide it Miya. We know they are your children."

Atsumu freezes. Only one thought spiralled on his head: He knows. The blonde then coughed and regained his composure. "So Keiji-san must've told ya?"

"You don't need to hide it." The alpha repeats.

"I can and I will. With all due respect Sakusa-san, kindly tell Keiji-san that I'll be bringing my kids home." Atsumu says as he starts to walk away. Kiyoomi was frustrated. If he really is the father, then Atsumu ignored that fact, claiming what's theirs as his own. He didn't bother to think twice before the words escaped his mouth.

"Our kids."

This made Atsumu halt.

After an unresponsive 5 seconds, and the kids continuously tugging on his sleeves, he then crouched down, giving a friendly smile. It's one of the perfected plastic smiles that Atsumu keeps in his collection. "Kids, go to your uncles. I'll have a talk with Sakusa-san first."

\---

"Kids! Where's Omi?" Koutarou asked once the twins approached the table.

"Mama's here! He found us in the wash and told us to come here." Sumi starts.

Kitsu then finishes. "He said he'll talk to Sakusa-san first." 

Keiji freezes. He knows something is going to happen.

\---

Once the kids were out of sight, Atsumu then laughed. He laughs bitterly. Like those kinds of laughs that antagonists make. There was nothing really funny with what Kiyoomi said, or so the alpha thought. The omega then turned to face the alpha. "How can you be so sure? 'S pretty brave of ya to go assuming things."

"There is plenty of evidence and I don't even know where to start." Kiyoomi defends with determination.

"That's cute." The omega replies sarcastically. He closes his eyes and slowly opens it, eyelashes fluttering apart to reveal the most smug and sly fox eyes. One of Atsumu's specialties (other than serving and setting), is mastering the mask he pulls up. He's good at hiding things, because he's an even better actor. He can deceive the victim easily and make them fall into his bottomless pit of lies. "Ya think I kept them? Dontcha?"

Kiyoomi freezes and once the blonde sees this action, expression becoming even more smug. He then continued to provoke the spiker. "Ya think I'd keep the children of a person who pushed me away? After he was the one who suggested not usin' protection?"

Kiyoomi curses his inability to speak back. Of all the times he could give a witty retort, the gods forbid that now is one of those times. Atsumu could be lying. Hell, he was lying this whole time. From his relationship with the kids to his past team before the frogs. He has a lot of evidence and proof that he is surely the father but something is stopping him from confirming the truth.

The alpha was still frozen. Atsumu's expression then shifted as he sighed. "Sorry Sakusa-san, but it isn't the wisest decision to jump 'nto conclusions like that."

"Have a good day Sakusa-san." He said before leaving.

\---

"Tsum-tsum!"

"Atsumu-san!" Shoyo and Bokuto beam as they see the blonde omega walking towards the table.

"Hiya Hinata-kun! Kou-kun!" Atsumu greets back cheerfully, but this time it wasn't a facade. He really missed the two cheeky teammates who used to annoy him and invite him to their mischief. After he resigned from the Jackals, he decided to use the last name basis on his ex-teammates. But now that Keiji is here, he needs to call the other spiker by his first name. To avoid confusion and the question, 'which Bokuto?'.

"I'm not Hinata anymore." Shoyo smiles. The blonde raises a brow. Excitedly, the redhead raises his hand, proudly showing the golden ring on his ring finger. "I'm a Kageyama now!"

"Oy dumbass... Stop that." Tobio says, turning away to hide his growing blush. Deep inside, the alpha setter was actually gidy. Who knew that his dumbass husband can successfully make him weak just by bragging about their marriage. It's so cute. 

"You're married now?! How come I wasn't invited?" Atsumu asks in shock. Years ago, after the birth of the couple's first child, Shoyo told him that the omega setter would be on top of his invitation list for his and Tobio's wedding.

"We tried to contact you Atsumu-san but we couldn't find you." A recovered Tobio filled in, holding his husband's hand.

"When was that?"

"5 years ago."

"Oh." Then Atsumu remembers. He was hiding in Hyogo because of his pregnancy. He didn't socialize or contact anyone in those nine months because he was either crying, sulking, or looking for teams that would be willing to accept him once the twins were born. "Then belated congrats to you two! I see you even made another one." He says, eyeing Hiroyo in her mother's hold.

"That's not really a surprise. What did surprise us is that you have twins."

"Yeah, sorry for hidin' it from ya'll." Atsumu scratches the back of his head awkwardly. He felt some kind of deja vu. It was like six years ago, when he confessed his status to his former team.

"Excuse me." A voice behind them interludes. Kiyoomi just finished washing up.

"Ah, sorry Sakusa-san." Atsumu says politely, taking a step away from the table so the spiker could return to his seat at the corner.

"What happened to 'Omi-kun'? You were the reason why he's widely known as that." Koutarou asks. Atsumu chuckles, as he prays to the gods that it didn't sound awkward or forced. "Sakusa-san has no spouse, so there's no confusion if I use last name basis on him. Besides, being informal is not an option right now."

"You've changed a lot Atsumu-san." Shoyo says. "We've missed you."

"I've missed ya'll too." Atsumu smiles as he turns to Keiji. "Keiji-san, thank you for takin' care of my kids. I'll inform 'Samu to give you an extra meal."

"There's no need, Atsumu-san. It's the right thing to do." Keiji smiles back. But what the editor meant to say was 'it's only right to let those kids meet their father'.

"No, I insist. You've been so kind to 'em. Unfortunately, we need to go. Please excuse us." He says a little too formally as he turns to the twins. "Sumi, Kitsu, let's go."

The siblings then obeyed as they approached their mother, saying their goodbyes to the people at the table. The blonde exchanged contacts with Koutarou and Shoyo so that they can schedule a playdate.

"Thank you for the meal." Kitsu thanked. 

"Hope to see y'all again!" Sumi waves.

"Thank you again. Sorry for the trouble." Atsumu finishes as they went on their way.

When the omega and his kids finally left, Keiji spoke up. "Sakusa-san, may I talk to you. Privately?" 

Kiyoomi nodded as they both got up. Koutarou then pouted as Keiji chuckled at his jealous alpha. "No Kou, I'm not having an affair with Sakusa-san. We're going to talk about something else. Something important." 

This seems to do the trick because Koutarou nodded, expressing his approval. 

\---

"I'm guessing you know now." 

"No. I don't. I'm having doubts." 

They are both under a tree outside the diner. The leaves give sufficient shade from the hot sun as the wind blows their raven locks. Keiji raised a brow. "Why? Isn't there enough proof?" 

"Proof is plentiful. It's just... Miya said something that implies he aborted my kids and... It just gives me doubts." 

"Really now? Apologies for my amoral choice of words but you do know all he reveals are lies, right?" 

"I can't help it. My eyes seek for the right confirmation. What if he only hooked up with someone who looks like me?" Kiyoomi replies in frustration. All of this is messing with his head. 

"I wouldn't blame you for that. If I was in your shoes, I'd want proper validation too." Keiji says, taking into consideration what the alpha said. 

"How are you so sure that I'm the father? Osamu didn't even tell you, right?" Kiyoomi asks. 

"The hunch is too strong." The editor explains. "But if you really want to know the truth, I have a plan." 

\---

_"They know I'm the mother. He knows."_

_"Are you still going to hide the truth from him?"_

_"I'll hide it for as long as I can!"_

_"Goodluck with that."_

_"Hey... Yer goin' t' help me, right?"_

_"I have no other choice. Idiots like you need all the help they can get."_

_"For once, can ya stop bein' so salty?"_

_"Dream on, Tsumu."_

_"..."_

_"But seriously, thanks Kei."_

\---

The next time Kiyoomi sees Sumi and Kitsu is two weeks after. Keiji brought the twins over again. Practice ended early due to their monthly check up. But since Kiyoomi got checked a week ago and he submitted his files on the doctor's visit to their captain, he was free to go home early. 

"Sakusa-san, good afternoon." Keiji greets once the alpha approaches him. Sumi was at his right and Kitsu at his left. The kids greeted him as well. 

The raven haired spiker just gave a nod of acknowledgement. At the same time, Keiji checked his phone. 

"Kids, I'm sorry but my boss called for an urgent meeting. I'll have to leave you to Sakusa-san." Keiji turns to the kids. 

"Are you sure uncle Samu's okay with that?" Kitsu asks. 

"Sure. As long as the person is trustworthy, your uncle won't have any issues with that. You trust Sakusa-san, right?" 

The kids turn their heads to look at the alpha, almost as if they're contemplating if they can trust him or not. After a few seconds of silence, they turn back to Keiji with smiles on their faces. 

"Yeah." They say in unison. 

Keiji returned the smile as he pat their heads. "Alright then. I'll leave you to him. I really need to go now, okay?" 

The kids then went to Kiyoomi's side as they held his hands (of course, with Kitsu being hesitant and Kiyoomi reassuring that he washed for a good thirty seconds). Keiji then whispers something to the alpha, making sure that the kids doesn't hear him. "You know what to do, right Sakusa-san?" 

The alpha nodded. Keiji then took a step back to look at twins. "Goodbye, take care!" He then went on his heel and slowly, his figure started to disappear.

Kiyoomi cleared his throat. "So where do you want to go?"

"Sakusa-san... We're not from Tokyo." Kitsu says. "We don't know anywhere here."

Oh. The spiker forgot.

"Can you bring us to nice places? Mama never lets us stroll around here." Sumi asks.

"Why is that?"

"Because he doesn't like going out in public when not needed." Kitsu responds. What a boring life these kids have.

"Okay. Let's get some ice cream."

\---

They sat on a bench in the park, eating some ice cream. Well, only the kids ate some. Kiyoomi just observed them. He then thought it was the perfect opportunity to fish as much information as he can get.

"Sumi, how did you know me?" He asks. The little girl tilts her head like a puppy.

"I like watching Jackals matches! You guys are so cool!"

"If your mother was avoiding the Jackals, how did you watch it?" Kiyoomi asks, voice muffled because of the mask although the curiosity can be heard. 

"Sometimes at uncle Samu's house, mama Rin would watch matches with the Jackals to 'analyze plays'. We like to watch with him." Sumi explains.

"You like to watch with him. Usually I'd help uncle Samu in the kitchen." Kitsu corrects, emphasising the intonation at 'you'. 

"I see..." Kiyoomi starts. "Do you know why he avoided the topic of the Jackals?"

"No. But when we asked uncle Samu, he said mama wanted to forget something and move on." Sumi answers almost half finished with her ice cream. 

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but did he move on from it already?" 

"Uncle Samu says he's pathetic. He still cries over it most of the time." Kitsu responds.

He never did move on, did he?

"I hate it when mama cries. He doesn't deserve to be sad." Sumi starts, crossing her arms. "We rarely get to spend time with him and the little time he has at home is spent crying."

"We don't have a father and our mother is rarely there. We only have each other." Kitsu says, as he clenched his thighs but face void of expression.

That was depressing for him to hear. He feels pity, because the kids want what all other kids around them have: a family. Complete with a father and a mother who isn't afraid to show the world their kids. Being in a broken family isn't easy. Most kids bring it with them as they grow up. And he doesn't want that to happen to the five year olds eating ice cream beside him.

"I'm so sorry you get to go through that." Kiyoomi says sincerely.

"That's alright. You wouldn't understand anyways." Sumi says, her voice showing no signs of her hyperactive, happy-go-lucky self. She didn't look sad either, as if this wasn't new to her. 

"Actually I do."

"Care to share, Sakusa-san?" Kitsu asks.

The alpha took a deep breath before starting. "I was supposed to have kids right now." 

He sighed softly. His mind then drifts to the what ifs. Again, what if he didn't push Atsumu away? He could imagine him cuddling with the blonde on the couch as the kids play with their toys in the living room rug, leaving the television abandoned, playing a crappy soap opera that no one dare to watch. He could imagine picnics where the kids would play with their food, and Kiyoomi would scold them because 'you're wasting it' and Atsumu would only laugh and join the two, he is a childish brat after all (at least that's what he was 5 years ago). He could imagine the kids crying to him, opening up about their problems, and he would give them a pat in the head, telling them sincere words with genuine love to their comfort. Oh how the countless scenarios of joy and pain would play as he continuously regrets his hurtful words before. 

"Really?" Sumi's eyes gleam with interest. "What happened?"

"I was a coward, so I pushed them away once I knew the mother was pregnant."

"Do you... Do you know where they are now?" Kitsu asked.

"Not a clue. But I met the mother recently." The alpha responds, eyes fixed on the beautiful scenery before them. The park is one of his favorite spots to think and reflect. Whenever he's stressed, he likes to sit on a bench and watch the ducks by the pond, the people having picnics, the trees swaying in the wind, he likes to watch all of them. It reminds him of the beauty of life.

It's silent as the three of them share their struggles. The kids having struggles with their mother and Kiyoomi having big regrets.

"They're around your age right now. That is if the mother didn't abort them." Kiyoom informs, eyes not leaving the scenery. 

"I already said this but you could've been a great father, Sakusa-san." Kitsu says as he throws the tissue by the bin beside them. 

"Stop it, you're making me regret my decision more." Kiyoomi chuckles. 

"At least you could've done something about it. You still can. You can say sorry to the mother and meet your kids. But us, there's no way we can bring our dead father back." Sumi says. Once it has been silent for too long, she waves it off. "Ahh, sorry! I said too much!" 

"That's what you get for having a big mouth!" Her brother snarls, effectively scolding her. 

They enjoyed another minute of silence, just staring at the sun that was about to set. The silence was then taken away when Sumi tried to pet a few ducks that approached their bench and then Kitsu was scolding his sister to not touch them because 'they are dirty! Do they even wash themselves?' 

Kiyoomi chuckled at the bickering. He really wished they were his children. Even though they were clearly his, he needs valid evidence. He then took out two sealed water bottles from his bag, each bottle had a different brand. He hands them both to the children. "Ice cream is sweet, so you have to drink water after eating." 

"Thank you Sakusa-san! I was actually thirsty." Sumi chuckled as she reached out for the bottle. Her brother said his thanks and did the same. 

Once they finished all the contents, they were about to throw it in the bin when the alpha stopped them. "Don't throw it. Give it to me."

"What are you gonna do with this? It's already garbage." Kitsu asked.

"It's good to recycle at every opportunity. It helps the earth go greener, you know?" The alpha smiled, although hidden by the mask, the kids could tell by the wrinkles in his eyes. They smiled back as they handed the bottles back to the spiker.

"Do you like it here in the park?" Kiyoomi asks. They were now looking at the scenery. Being around 4:30, the sun was about to set and hinges of different colors were becoming evident in the sky.

"It's very nice here. It's better than any crowded mall." Kitsu says.

"That's on ya, you hate crowds." Sumi contradicts. "I like malls but sitting in a park once in a while is quite nice too."

"I'm glad you like it here. I'll take you here again next time, alright?" Kiyoomi says with a soft voice. The children then nod, eyes gleaming with excitement for their next visit to the park.

\---

They were now walking to the bus stop, basking in the sun set. Taking the bus, they would be going to a restaurant where Keiji, Koutarou and Shoyo were currently in.

"Hey Sakusa-san?" Sumi starts, holding his left hand.

"Hmm?"

"Whenever you take us out, can you act like our father?" The little girl asks. "If you don't mind." 

_I might actually be your father._

He contemplates for a bit and then he turns to Kitsu on his left. "Do you agree with what your sister said?"

"I see no problem. You're one of the cleanest and most conservative people I've met."

"Well, then alright, I'll act as your father." Kiyoomi smiled. He never knew how much he wanted to be considered as a father till now. Both kids smiled at this, they were filled with joy because even though it was just pretend, they can finally feel what it's like to have a father. "Kitsu, those are big words for a five year old." The alpha remarks at the little boy's response a while ago.

"Really? Uncle Kei likes teaching me formal words." Kitsu says.

"Uncle Kei? Bokuto Keiji?" Kiyoomi asks.

"No. Uncle Kei as in Kuroo Kei." Sumi responds for her brother.

Kuroo Kei, huh? Well, if Kiyoomi remembers clearly, Kei is a spiker at the Sendai frogs, the team Atsumu sets for, so it shouldn't be a surprise that the kids are close to the salty blonde. He also remembers that Kei is the omega married to the alpha, Kuroo Tetsurou. They even have a daughter and a son. It makes Kiyoomi think how pathetic and miserable his life is because almost everyone he knows is happy with a family. 

"He's mama's teammate." Kitsu informs. 

"I see..." 

Suddenly, Sumi halts, which makes the other two follow. The alpha raises a brow. "What is it Sumi?" 

She closes her eyes and sniffs at the air a bit to confirm her hypothesis. Her eyelids then burst open, revealing those big brown doll eyes. "Mama's nearby."

She then let go of the Alpha's hold and then dashed off. "Sumi, wait!" Her brother calls out as he follows.

"Kids!" Kiyoomi ran after the children. He saw Sumi run around the corner of the sidewalk and Kitsu do the same. As he approached, he heard faint voices. 

"Atsumu! We found ourselves a father!" 

The alpha ran faster, he was closer and closer to the corner. 

"Really? Now who could that be?" 

He rounded the corner and was met by the sight of a particular blonde, crouching to talk to his kids. Amber eyes meet raven ones and the small smile the omega had turned into a frown of disapproval. He sighed then returned to his polite demeanour as he stood up. 

"Good afternoon Sakusa-san, may I ask why the kids 'r with ya?" Atsumu greeted with that polite but plastic smile of his. 

"Sorry for worrying you but Keiji-san had an urgent meeting to attend to, so he left the kids with me." Kiyoomi answers calmly but deep inside, he's panicking. 

"Right," Atsumu faintly rolled his eyes, not obvious enough for the kids to notice this negative action. "One of 'ese days, I'll tell Samu t' stop passin' the children around." He chuckles sarcastically.

"But I must thank ya fer takin' care of them." Although still fake, the omega smiles. He then turns to the children. "Did you kids have fun with Sakusa-san?" 

"It was the most fun I've had in days!"

"Can we hang out with him again?" 

Although Atsumu was all smiles and politeness, Kiyoomi could sense the anger in him. "Hmm, if you get to see him again, I suppose." He finishes with his brown eyes flickering back to make eye contact with the alpha. Just like multiple incidents with Keiji, he knew something was implied with that simple 'meet the eye' action. 

"Say bye bye to Sakusa-san, we're leaving now." Atsumu says, not bothering to put a smile on. 

"Goodbye Sakusa-san! Next time, bring us to the park again!" Sumi says and Kitsu simply waves. The kids then turned around to leave. 

"Sorry for the trouble." Atsumu says, shooting daggers at him with his coldest glare once he knew the children couldn't see him. That seems to do the trick, because the alpha is surprisingly intimidated by the omega. The latter then turns on his heel and brings his children far far away from Kiyoomi. 

Just as Kiyoomi was starting to consider himself a father, he feels the familiar deja vu for a third time: the image of Atsumu and the children's backs, slowly disappearing into the distance.

\---

_"You got them?" The other side of the line asks._

_"Yeah. I did."_

_"Great. You do know what to do next, right?"_

_"Of course. In fact it's already done."_

_"Wow. You really like finishing things, don't you Sakusa-san."_

_Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. "It's what I do, Keiji."_

_"When will the results be out?"_

_"In a few days. Don't worry, you'll be the first one I'll inform once it's out._

_"I'll be looking forward to it." Keiji says as he hangs up. Kiyoomi sighs._

\---

Fast forward to a few days later, Kiyoomi just arrived back to his apartment, he's sitting on his couch, eyeing two brown envelopes, one on each hand. His eyes scan from one to the other, blood rushing throughout his body as he can hear his heart beat faster than the speed of light. He gulped, he's really nervous, he's petrified even. Whatever the paper inside each envelope is highly anticipated by the raven. 

What was going on, you ask? - With the help of two water bottles, Kiyoomi was able to get dna samples of the twins to a testing center. He knows that the mother will be absolutely furious with what he did (especially considering the fact that he wasn't permitted to), but this was the only way to know. After all, it was the blonde's fault for not telling him anything. If he wasn't the father, then he could've made it clear instead of giving ambiguous and mixed hints. 

He promised Keiji that he would be the first one the alpha would call regarding the results.

'Here goes nothing' he thought to himself while carefully opening both envelopes. His fingers reach the top of the paper of the first envelope, gripping it and slowly pulling it out. It was Sumi's. The text slowly reveals itself as inch by inch, the paper gets more exposed. The text mostly read some science stuff like what components are in their genes and other things that Kiyoomi doesn't and will never bother to read. Once the paper is almost fully exposed, only hiding the summary in the envelope, he stopped. Knowing better, he did the same to the other paper, wanting to see both results at the same time. 

The other paper was now in a similar situation as the first, with only the summary of the results hidden. At this point, Kiyoomi's heart was gonna burst from the pressure of anticipation. He then tried to calm his thoughts, thinking how silly he would be if the results weren't a match, if he wasn't the father. He would laugh at all his efforts in the past week. He would laugh at his thoughts, all that time thinking what it would be like to be a father when he clearly doesn't have a chance in his current situation. How he still needed Keiji's help in his hypothesis and how he actually carried out the plan just to find the results negative, what a laugh. That would be embarrassing wouldn't it? It would be something Kiyoomi would cringe at for years and years to come because he was clearly clowning hims-

Unconsciously, he pulled both papers out and his eyes were quick to scan the very bottom of the text. The papers laid side to side, so it was easy to read both results at once. His eyes widened at what he reads.

Both papers of course had the same result plastered in bold lettering:

A match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fathers day! So I figured I'd post the chapter where sakusa learns he's a father! Happy father's day everyone! If you enjoyed, please leave some kudos and a comment, I love reading your comments <3
> 
> Go scream with me on twitter - - - @couchpotatoie


	4. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the truth in mind, Kiyoomi does all he can to get to Atsumu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the angst train choo choo! Angst ahead haha
> 
> Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

"Hello?"

"Keiji! It's a match! They are my kids!" Kiyoomi exclaimed through the line.

He doesn't know what to feel. A mix of emotions spread throughout him. He should feel happy, that Atsumu didn't abort his kids, and that he has kids to call his own. But at the same time, he should feel sad that he's been absent from their lives for their first five years. He should feel relieved that the pressure and weight of analysing whether or not they are his is finally swept away from his shoulders, but at the same time he should be angry that Atsumu hid everything from him. Out of all these mixed emotions, he feels anger the most so he decided to be angry.

"Mhm."

"What 'mhm'? Why aren't you surprised?" Kiyoomi asked, voice still raised. Keiji completely understands his situation of being overwhelmed, so he doesn't pay attention to his sudden change of behaviour.

"If it wasn't so obvious then I could've dropped the phone from shock." Keiji says sarcastically. The alpha rolls his eyes at this. "What are you planning to do now?" The omega asks.

Kiyoomi thinks. He really needs to gain custody over the kids and change their last name into Sakusa. He really needs to talk to Atsumu. Even when Atsumu's 'talk' with him five years ago did not end up well, he's wrecking that the blonde understands his situation. He is more mature now, isn't he? I mean, who wouldn't panic at an accidental pregnancy? Yeah, Kiyoomi calls it-- He totally has to understand the spiker or at least hear him out.

"Sakusa-san?" Keiji asks as the other side of the line went quiet with Kiyoomi's contemplating. The latter is spaced out.

Meanwhile, in Kiyoomi's contemplating, he tries to find a way to contact the blonde. He doesn't have his number and he guesses that his teammates don't have either. It's been five years, so he surely changed his past contact info. He then thinks deeper. He doesn't know Atsumu's address, but he's sure that he's living in Sendai. An idea then pops in his head.

"Sakusa-san?"

"I'm sorry Keiji. I'll call you back." Kiyoomi rushes as he hangs up. Without wasting time, he gets up and hurriedly puts his shoes on by the genkan. Only bringing the papers, his phone, wallet and some small hygienic supplies (spray, sanitizer and an extra mask) by his pocket, he leaves his apartment, running, on his way to a certain place.

\---

The front door of Onigiri Miya slams open, catching the attention of some people dining there. Others chose to mind their own damn business and continue eating. Kiyoomi thanked God for those other people for sparing him the extra embarrassment. Kiyoomi says you should follow those other other people.

One of the staff, although confused, greets him with a smile. "Welcome to Onigiri Mi-"

"Where is your boss?!" He unconsciously raises his voice in a hurry, which makes the staff shudder. She gulped before answering. "I'll go get him right away sir."

"No need Eimi, 'm already 'ere." A voice by the counter interrupts. Oho, Kiyoomi knows that kansai accent oh so well.

Kiyoomi, as well as the beta waitress named Eimi, turns to the source of the voice to find Osamu, in his usual Onigiri Miya cap and apron, both in a color of matching greyish black. He gives a smile in return. "I'll handle it from here Eimi-chan."

Eimi bows and then hurriedly flees the scene, still intimidated as she continues to serve every customers' needs. Once she leaves, Osamu turns to the other alpha. "How may I help you Sa-"

"Where is Atsumu?!" Kiyoomi approaches the counter.

"I see, always as blunt as ever." Osamu jokes. Okay so now Osamu has Atsumu's teasing personality and Atsumu has Osamu's polite and formal demeanour. What kind of crazy personality swap happened to them during these past years?

"Answer. Me. Osamu." Kiyoomi emphasises each word as he grits his teeth. He starts to feel anger in the man in front of him because surely, Osamu knows everything. It's pure common sense that Osamu could be the only one who assisted Atsumu during his pregnancy. Surely on one point of those nine months, the blonde was crying to his twin, admitting everything that happened between the two. Kiyoomi bets his life on it.

The cook scans the spiker, raising a brow at his determination. "And what business might you have with my-"

He stopped once his eyes landed on the papers Kiyoomi was holding. Instantly, he knows what's going on. No sign of shock invaded his sly face, a literal carbon copy to Atsumu's. He stared at the paper for a few more seconds, making the alpha spiker noticed, so he asked again. "Where is Atsumu?!"

"Sakusa-san excuse my behaviour but I might have to ask you to leave. Your noise is startling the customers." Osamu says with a bored expression.

If there wasn't a counter in between them, Kiyoomi would've grabbed him by the collar no matter how amoral it may be or how the others would react. Osamu was spitting bullshit at him. Back then Atsumu was the one who would try to intimidate Kiyoomi because of their little serve rivalry while Osamu would try his best to scold his brother. Right now, it would no doubt be Atsumu (if he were here) to stop his brother from attacking the father of his children.

"Not until you answer me." Kiyoomi snaps, clenching his fists and paying no attention if he crumpled the papers he would use as evidence if needed.

Osamu then gave a smug smile, but instead of teasing behind it, it held immense anger. He leaned in and whispered, giving his coldest glare, so similar to the one that Atsumu gave him on the night he last saw the children. He then started with gritted teeth, "You hurt my brother. You left him to rot helplessly. I dare you to give me a reason why I should help you take away his only happiness." Everytime he said 'you', it would be emphasised, therefore filtering out his accent.

Although the twins would bicker for almost 99% of their time together, they were each other's heroes. They were ready to save the day for the other. Osamu would pledge his life to protect Atsumu and Atsumu would do the same. So when the setter appeared on his brother's doorstep five years ago, with his usually styled hair all messy, and big, dark bags underneath his sly fox eyes, he cried immediately when Osamu opened the door. Before the latter could ask in concern, Atsumu was mumbling the same words over and over again: Please don't leave me too 'Samu.

After admitting from his relationship with Kiyoomi, to how he quit the Jackals, all with endless tears and Osamu's comforting hand threading on his golden locks, Osamu's massive respect towards Sakusa Kiyoomi turned into a humongous ball of hate. The curly haired spiker had a lot of reasons to be respected by the other alpha, like his calm and stoic personality and his title of 'one of the top three aces in Japan'. But all that respect went down the drain. What a waste.

"That is not your business. If you worry so much about your brother, you could at least help me so we can get things resolved." Kiyoomi spits back.

"Ohoho, jus' t' letya' know, it is practically my business. Why? Because I took the role of the kids' father when you didn't." Osamu snaps harsher.

"Well thank you for that then, but I guess as the biological father, you should hand over that role to me."

"Leave now Sakusa-san, or I'm calling security." Osamu threatens, one thought stained on his mind: so that's how you and Tsumu got along. Yer' both stubborn as fuck.

"You didn't answer my question. Where is Atsumu?!" He raises his voice. At this action the guards then escort Kiyoomi outside by force. The alpha squirmed. If there was only one guard then he could've successfully tackled him to the ground. But there were more than one, so he couldn't break free from their grasp.

"Have a nice day Sakusa-san and please visit again. No wait, scratch that, visit when you forget about my brother." Osamu says as the spiker's figure was retreating, his polite demeanour back on his face. It's crazy how those twins can switch from one mask to another just in only a couple of seconds.

Once left outside, Kiyoomi was left with his thoughts. With what escalated earlier, he figured that Osamu was never going to leave the kids with Keiji again unless he was sure that they were not going to meet the Jackals.

Kiyoomi muttered a 'fuck' and then thought of a new plan.

\---

Me: Good evening, Bokuto-san

Bokuto Koutarou: OMI-KUN!!! ITS A SURPRISE TO SEE U TEXT ME FIRST!1!!1!

Me: Yes, that surprised me too but may I ask a favor?

Bokuto Koutarou: SURE!!!1!1! :D

Me: First, kindly stop texting in caps. It's quite displeasing and even a bit annoying

Bokuto Koutarou: Oh, alright, sorry Omi :D

Bokuto Koutarou: What can i do for you!!???

Me: Also please stop using exclamation marks. I can hear your loud voice just by the use of that punctuation

Bokuto Koutarou: You actually thought about my voice Omi 🥺👉👈

Me: Forget it, I'm asking Hinata

Bokuto Koutarou: No!! wait!!

Bokuto Koutarou: Oh, sorry. No exclamation hehe

Bokuto Koutarou: Anyways, what is it?

Kiyoomi takes a deep breath. He has to do this, no matter how it may affect his dignity.

Me: May I ask for Kuroo-san's contact info?

He received no reply for the next few seconds.

Me: Bokuto-san?

Bokuto Koutarou: Ahh, sorry omi, keiji scolded me for being noisy 🥺

Me: Why were you noisy then?

Bokuto Koutarou: Because I'm excited! You're finally opening up and trying to make friends!

Bokuto Koutarou: Sorry omi, but i sent only 2 exclamation marks hehe

Me: ... What?

Me: Koutarou I'm not going to make friends. I have something very important to ask Kuroo-san

Bokuto Koutarou: You called me by my first name! You really do wanna make friends 🥺👉👈

Bokuto Koutarou: That was only one exclamation point

Me: I've made up my mind, now I'm sure. I'll ask Hinata

Bokuto Koutarou: OMI WAIT

Bokuto Koutarou: Oh, my bad. Typed in caps hehe

Bokuto Koutarou: Fine I'll give u the contact

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi? Still there?

Bokuto Koutarou: Hey i said ill stop! Here's the contact now

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi?

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi u dead?

Bokuto Koutarou: Did u choke on ur meal or smth?

Bokuto Koutarou: Did u trip and bang ur head by ur coffee table?

Bokuto Koutarou: Did ur chandelier fall on u and ur bleeding to death rn?

Bokuto Koutarou: Oh shit i gotta call an ambulance

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi

Bokuto Koutarou: Sakusa

Bokuto Koutarou: Kiyoomi

Bokuto Koutarou: Omi kun!

Bokuto Koutarou: Sakusa Kiyoomi!

Me: What the fuck, Bokuto

Me: I just went to the bathroom. I'm not dead yet

Bokuto Koutarou: Sorry!

Bokuto Koutarou: Anyways, which kuroo? Damn omi u rlly have to start using first names especially when addressing married ppl

Me: Kei's number, but Tetsurou's would be fine as well.

Bokuto Koutarou: Okok

\---

After receiving Tetsurou's contact info, he thought more than 7 times about pressing the call button. He has no choice but to do this. It rang nine times before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Good evening Kuroo-san." Kiyoomi greeted politely.

"Oya oya? What would the infamous Omi-kun want from a simpleton like me?" Tetsurou purred. Although they weren't talking personally, he could sense that the person on the other side of the line has a smug, catlike expression.

"Don't call me that. I need to talk to Kei-."

"What do you want from my omega?" Tetsurou hisses. Ah, the usual overprotective characteristic of an alpha towards their omega, it makes Kiyoomi want his very own omega, or at least he had one, but he pushed- whatever, you get it.

"Please calm down Tetsurou-san, I'm not here to steal your omega. I am well aware that he is married to you, but please, I need to talk to him about something else." Kiyoomi adds a pleading tint to his voice. He can't wait any longer, he needs to talk to Atsumu as soon as possible.

"I'm only giving you the phone if you let us put it in loudspeaker. I want to make sure you're not messing with Kei." Tetsurou says. Kiyoomi had no choice. He knew how stubborn the catlike alpha was and even if he tried to argue, the latter wouldn't give in. If he wants information asap, he'll have to comply. He took a deep sigh. "Alright."

"Tetsu? Who is it?" Kiyoomi hears from the other side of the line. That must be Kei.

"Babe, just in time. Did you put Yuka to bed already?" Tetsurou says.

"She wants me to read a bedtime story, so I did but she slept before I reached the fifth page. She must be really tired." Kei chuckled sincerely. A complete contradiction to his teasing salty personality. I guess kids really bring the softness out of us, right? "Anyways, who's on the phone?"

"Can you believe that Sakusa Kiyoomi called me? The most unsocial person on this planet?" Tetsurou teases.

"I can hear you Tetsurou." Kiyoomi informs, in a bored, 'it hasn't even been five minutes into the call but I'm already done with your bullshit' tone.

"That's the point Omi-kun!" Tetsurou teases again.

"Can I please just talk to Kei now? It's very important and I'm in a hurry." Kiyoomi says, hoping that the other alpha had some kind of sympathy towards the spiker.

"You're already on loudspeaker, Sakusa-san. My husband has been messing with you." Kei answered and Tetsurou was laughing his head out. "Anyways, what do you want from me?"

"Kei, Where's Atsumu?" Kiyoomi says out immediately, almost too desperately. Once the other side got the message, a moment of silence intruded. This got Kiyoomi worried for the counterpart.

"At his house, duh." Kei answers his question wittily and Tetsurou bursted out laughing again. They were really playing with him huh? Kiyoomi would've made a snarky remark if it wasn't for his current situation.

"I know that, but where is his address, I need to talk to him please, it's important." Kiyoomi rushes, desperation making his cold, monotonous voice shift to a lively and panicked one.

"So you finally know huh?" Kei says, his philosophical self now turned serious. Kiyoomi only raised a brow at this sudden change of mood. "What?"

"That the twins are yours."

Kiyoomi gulped, and tried his best to answer without an unsure voice. "Yes. I know the truth, that's why I need to talk to Atsumu."

"So that's what all this is about!" Tetsurou says, finally getting why the curly haired spiker chose to randomly call him at 7 pm, requesting for Kei. "Ohoho, I know this! I know what went down between you and Atsumu!"

"He told you everything?" Kiyoomi asks.

"He told me everything. I told Tetsu, that's all." Kei informed.

"Why did he... Tell you?" Kiyoomi asked, letting curiosity get him. He can't speak straight now. He doesn't know who else knows about his past with Atsumu. But he knows that the people who do know it have less respect for him. What happened in the past is clearly affecting his reputation.

"If he wasn't crying to Osamu-san, he would seek comfort in me. Surprising as it seems, I'm the closest friend he has on the team. When he joined the team three years ago, it took him a while to open up. I found him crying in the showers and then we kinda talked about it." The omega simply explained. "And I do know that what you did to him is not something worthy of my help."

"Kei, let me explain-"

"Seriously dude, that is fucked up. You were the one who didn't use protection and you didn't take responsibility for the kids he was carrying. You only realized you wanted them now, where were you all these five years?" Tetsurou asked. "I didn't leave Kei when I found out he was pregnant."

"O-oi! This isn't about me!" Kei stuttered. By the tone of his voice, he was sure that the omega was blushing.

"I'm completely aware of all of that. You don't know how much I'm regretting what I did. But now I really want to redeem myself. Please? Please help me just this once." Kiyoomi begged. There was a possibility that he'll never see the kids again and he doesn't want that to happen.

Silence again. Kei then sighed. "Those kids are very nice kids."

"They always try their best to help Atsumu, and when I ask them if they're okay, they did their best to smile even when I see the sadness in their eyes." Kei started. "They are financially unstable, especially that Atsumu is the only one earning for them. When everyone in their class got the latest toy or game, Yuka would tell me how insecure they looked even when they were pretending to be okay. When I asked them about this issue, they said that it's okay, and they'd rather be poor than to have their mother completely drowned in work and his depression worsening. And they said that with a genuine smile."

Kiyoomi knows where they got this attitude from: Atsumu. Kiyoomi? He was never that kind. He always put himself first before others. Although Atsumu was a downright brat, he hides something that isn't revealed to everyone, only a limited number of people know this side of him. He's very kind and considerate, trying his best to help everyone. He doesn't want to appear weak because of this personality trait, so he hides it underneath a layer of a smug and teasing personality. He didn't like how Osamu made fun of him for being a big 'softie' when he stood up for a friend at the age of three. He showed the world that he was a ruthless brat to prove his superiority. Truth be told, he was always a brat, ever since he was born. That was the effect of being spoiled as the youngest, but he had sympathy for others that is hidden at the bottom of his being.

Kiyoomi knows all that, because Atsumu confessed that to him during a hearty talk one night five years ago. The night where Kiyoomi figured he was falling for the blonde.

"I'll give you the address. He's living here at Sendai, I know that you know that." Kei finally starts. "But not because of you, because I want the kids to grow up with a father and to repay Atsumu for all he's done for me."

"But if you don't successfully redeem yourself, I'm never accepting favors from you again. I don't want my efforts to be in vain." The omega finishes.

'Heh, what efforts? You only gave me the address'. Kiyoomi thinks as he rolls his eyes. "Thank you."

\---

He spared no time in getting in his car, starting the ignition as he went on a four-hour-and-thirty minute drive to Sendai. With the help of google maps, he navigated the address given to him by Kei. Once he stopped at the said apartment complex, he made his way to Atsumu's door.

He knocked once, twice and thrice, but no one seemed to answer. After knocking for a total of fifteen times and still no answer, he turns to leave when he hears footsteps approaching from the other side of the door.

"'Samu, it's almost 12 am, the fuck ya want." Atsumu says, opening the door. Kiyoomi's greeted with the blonde, rubbing his eyes as if just woke up. Once he opened his eyes, it widened. "Oh."

Regaining his composure, he yawned before starting. "Omi-kun?"

Kiyoomi's heartbeat increases tenfold. How he missed being called that instead of a boring 'Sakusa-san'. The last time he was addressed as that by the blonde was five years ago, the last time he ever saw him.

Brown eyes scan the spiker. They squint before traveling down. "What are you-" He stops upon eyeing the papers clutched on Kiyoomi's hand. With the same reaction of his brother, he didn't give any widened eyes or gasps of shock, but he knew what the alpha did. Anger starts to flood in his body.

"Nope." He calmly says before slamming the door full force. Kiyoomi, taken back by this action, smashes his fists against the door in an attempt to get the omega's attention.

"Mama? Who's that?"

Atsumu jumps in surprise as he turns to find Sumi, staring at him with big brown eyes, so similar to his own. She cocks her head sidewards, looking like a cute fox. "Is it uncle Samsam?"

"Sumi! Ya scared the livin' heavens outa me!" Atsumu says, recovering from his shock. "What r' ya doin' this late?"

"Can't sleep, so when the knocking started, I thought uncle Samu was here. I even thought he brought my favourite mochi." Sumi explains. Kiyoomi can hear the exchange even from the other side of the door, and he's glad that he got to hear Sumi's voice again.

"Sumi, that's not uncle 'Samu. Go back to bed please, you have a class tomorrow, right?" Atsumu explains softly.

"We're only half day tomorrow, remember? We're going to class in the afternoon. And plus, I can't sleep with that loud knocking." The little girl points to the door, where the alpha on the other side keeps banging on the door, catching his daughter's attention.

"Don't worry, he's just some drunk bastard knocking on the wrong apartment." Atsumu sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Can this day get any worse?

"Mama, what did I tell you about calling people names?" Sumi scolds, pouting. Atsumu couldn't take her seriously because of her furrowed brows and chubby cheeks. She's too cute to look angry.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry Sumi." Atsumu smiles, admitting defeat. It was always worth it to see the satisfied smiles of his children.

Meanwhile, on the other side, Kiyoomi heard everything and he was angered by the fact that he, the father of the children, was dismissed as a 'drunk bastard' by their very own mother.

"Miya! Open the door!" Kiyoomi yells, making Sumi flinch.

"His voice sounds familiar. Are you sure you don't know him?" Sumi asks with worry. "And he looks like he's not stopping soon. Are we safe mama?" The little girl trembled at the thought of a serial killer on the loose, ready to take her, her brother and her mother's lives. This is the effect of that Saturday movie night with their cousin, Rumiko. Because of Kitsu's 'Hey Sumi, Ruru, why don't we watch a horror movie to see who's the bravest?'.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to protect both of you and keep you safe, trust me. There's a reason why I have a gun license, right?" Atsumu says smugly to lighten the mood.

"Mama! Don't joke about that!" Sumi exclaims, while Atsumu laughs at his terrified daughter. Sumi can remember Osamu taking her and Kitsu to watch Atsumu's shooting drills at the shooting range, a habit he established by Rintarou's suggestion to help him cope with his depression.

"Miya!!!" Kiyoomi yells louder, not bothering to mind all the commotion he's caused. Atsumu still ignores him, because his daughter's attention is more important than the one of the man who left him.

"Sumi, if you and Kitsu wake up early tomorrow, I'll bring you guys t' see the tigers at the zoo, so ya should sleep now." Atsumu informs.

Immediately, Sumi's worries about the knocking on the door disappears, and the concern in her eyes is replaced with excitement. She then flashed her biggest grin. "Alright, goodnight mama!" Sumi started to sprint to her shared room with Kitsu.

Before she could continue, she turned back and approached Atsumu, lifting her arms up, signaling for him to carry her. He did as he was indicated to and lifted the girl he loved the most. Sumi smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss on Atsumu's cheek, she then signalled to go down. Once she was back at the ground, she ran to her room, forgetting all her worries about the person on the other side of the door, specifically, her father.

Atsumu's heart did little backflips. He loved the affection the kids gave him, and most times feels guilty that he couldn't return the exact same amount. His happy thoughts were then cut off when Kiyoomi spoke. This time, he didn't yell. He had a shaky voice with a tone of pleading. "Atsumu... Please..."

The omega felt his heart crack at the alpha's voice. It's so... Broken, full of emotion. But then he reminds himself this is Kiyoomi's fault. He pushed Atsumu away. He wanted nothing to do with the children back then. He was the reason for Atsumu's countless tears that fell during the span of those five years. Anger was welcomed back into him as he approached the door. "What d'ya want, Kiyoomi?"

The alpha doesn't know what the usage of his full first name indicated. Atsumu never really calls him that back then. Sometimes when the latter is angry, he would, but most times he would only call him that during sex. So he stuck with the idea that Atsumu is dead angry. And his hunch is correct.

"Hear me out Atsumu-"

"That's Miya fer ya. N' why would I hear ya out when ya didn't even bother to do so five years ago?" Atsumu says. Voice plain. But Kiyoomi knows that at times when he voice is in it's plainest, the omega is really really angry.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. You don't know how much I regret what I did-"

"First, ya pushed me n' the kids away, then ya come back into our lives, n' ya even have the audacity to give the kids a dna test without my permission?!" Atsumu exclaims, not bothering to hide his emotions. But he does not cry. No. He's cried a lot of times but he won't do so now. Especially that he's confronting the source of his tears.

"Please, I can explain!" Kiyoomi exclaims back. "I-I... I panicked back then! We were so young!"

"We were so young!? Shoyo and Kou already had children back then, same goes with Kei and Rin! What d'ya mean by 'we were so young'?!"

"Your pregnancy was unplanned!"

"So were theirs!"

"They were in relationships! We weren't!" Kiyoomi snaps.

That made Atsumu silent. All he wanted back then was a relationship with Kiyoomi. One that wasn't lust-centered. One that actually involved feelings. He just wanted to be loved by the man he loved the most, why is everything so one-sided? He loved Kiyoomi dearly but Kiyoomi only saw him as a fuck buddy. Instead of love, he was given children, which led his former alpha to give the final push, effectively leaving him forgotten to rot. His promise to himself was now broken, as tears fall from his amber eyes.

Kiyoomi was about to talk when he heard sniffing from the other side. Worry then floods into him. "Atsumu...?"

"I'm goin' ta bed. Goodnight Sakusa-san, and please forget about takin' custody over the kids." Atsumu says, albeit his shaky voice. Kiyoomi listens closely as he hears the footsteps of the omega slowly disappearing. He tried to call for his name once, twice, many times, but no response. After a good fifteen minutes of trying, he finally gave up. But he was still hoping he could get his kids and Atsumu back.

\---

"I'm sorry for the commotion he caused at the Tokyo branch." Atsumu sighs, threading a hand through his blonde hair.

"'t's alright. You've got it worse. He went here two nights ago?" Osamu asked, seated comfortably on the couch opposite to Atsumu. Another sigh from the latter before he nodded.

"Although I'm still furious with what he did, I think ya should give 'im a chance."

"Like hell I would." Atsumu snaps. He is not going to let the man who hurt him hurt his children.

"The kids need a father." Osamu sighs. "And plus, the later they find out the truth, the more hurt they would get. Some point in their lives, they're going to know that he's their father."

The omega considered this. He wouldn't give a single damn if Kiyoomi would be angry at him for the rest of their lives, but he can't stand the hurt his children would feel and the hate they would develop towards him once they figure out the truth. He sighed. "'m not emotionally ready to tell them yet."

"Then when? When yer old and wrinkly?"

"I wish that would happen. No, scratch that, I wish I could die with them never finding out."

"Yer bonkers."

Atsumu sighs for the hundredth time tonight. "I jus' need ta get 'em away from him."

"For how long? For their whole lives?" Osamu asks. He loves his brother but he just can't tolerate the omega's stubbornness and inability to listen.

Surprisingly, Atsumu smirks. He smirks smugly. This sight is rare to see now, unlike five years ago when that smirk would be pasted on his face 24/7. Ah yes. How could Atsumu forget?

"8 months 'Samu, 8 months."

"What're ya- wait... 'Tsumu did you accept..."

Osamu waits for his twin to finish as Atsumu grins mischievously, like if he won the game. It's all teeth and wicked vibes. How could he forget it out of all times? Finally something went his way out of everything that happened for the past few weeks. With a smug but determined voice he finally says;

"8 months til' we head to Vancouver."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if i made this angsty. Next chapter will b fluff, I swear!
> 
> Plus, i might not update for the next 1-2 weeks because im busy with my art and my iwaoi angst. I'll try my best to do so tho. If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave some kudos and a comment! Your comments keep me going :')) 
> 
> Take care everyone! Stay safe <3


	5. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoomi sees his kids again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise surprise! I did my best to update haha! Like I promised, the whole chapter will be fluff (excluding the first part)
> 
> Another love child will be introduced haha!
> 
> Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

After learning about Kiyoomi's unfortunate incident, Kei and Tetsurou travel to Tokyo on their day off (their kids left with Akiteru), to go drinking with him. Tetsurou invites Koutarou and Keiji while Kei invites Shoyo and Tobio. But to their displeasure, Keiji has extra work piled up on his table and Tobio has an away game for approximately one night and two days. So only the Kuroos, Shoyo and Kou go to accompany Kiyoomi.

Kou and Shoyo still don't know why Kiyoomi invited them for drinking out of the blue. What's more, they also don't know about his current situation as he tries to win his twins and his omega back. They just assumed that Kiyoomi developed some kind of friendship or alpha bond with Tetsurou and the latter proposed about drinking with their other friends present in Tokyo.

Now they were at some booth at some bar, drinking everything they could. Whiskey, rum, beer and even some vodka. Kiyoomi really needs to relieve stress before going back to square one. He's still going to keep pursuing Atsumu no matter what. Occasionally, they would talk. Sometimes the topic would be about their families, which irritated Kiyoomi so he wouldn't bother to talk. Tetsurou and Kei know about this, so they try to limit any talk about their kids and marriage, but of course, it is also unavoidable because again, Shoyo and Koutarou don't know the situation yet.

Eventually, their topic would switch to gossip. From who was dating who, and about some hot beef between two parties. Kiyoomi learned that Tooru was sending death threats to the girl who was flirting with Hajime in California. He also learned that there's a rumor going around that Satori is carrying Wakatoshi's child. The topics would vary until Shoyo mentioned the person he didn't want to think about.

"How about Atsumu? I heard he's having a rough time earning a living. Can you please tell him that he can join the team as a pinch server? It earns more than his position on the division 2." Shoyo says.

"Sho!" Koutarou scolded.

"No, it's alright. That's true actually." Kei admits. MSBY Black Jackals is one of the highest paying teams in the VLeague. So even if you enter as a pinch server, you can earn a fortune. "But Atsumu won't be staying longer at the team."

"What?" Koutarou asks curiously, his ever so loud voice ringing around their ears. Shoyo tilts his head sideways in confusion. Kiyoomi too, is curious so he listened intently.

"Is he going to get kicked out or something?" Shoyo asks with concern.

"It's nothing negative actually." Tetsurou waves off.

"Really? Then you mean..." Shoyo trails off.

"He was offered to play in a team in Canada."

"WHAT?" Kiyoomi couldn't control his sudden outburst. He slammed his hands by the table (not caring about the germs), standing up. He caught the attention of almost everyone in their area of the bar. Realising this, he excused himself and sat back down.

"What's with that reaction, Omi-kun?" Koutarou asks. It's quite strange to be seeing Sakusa Kiyoomi being greatly affected by just an informative statement.

"This can't be happening! He is not bringing the twins with him!" Kiyoomi raises his voice, emphasising the 'not'. Tetsurou and Kei are unimpressed, so they stay silent, occasionally sipping on their alcohol.

"Why are you so hyped Omi-san?" Shoyo asks as the light bulb above his head flickers open. "Wait... Don't tell me..."

"Omi are the..." Kou finally gets what Sho's thinking. Both spikers look at the raven curiously, both anticipating his answer. Silence intrudes as Kiyooomi finds the words to explain himself. He sighs before starting.

"Yes, I'm the father of those kids."

Koutarou let out a loud gasp and this caught as much attention as Kiyoomi's outburst earlier. Shoyo stares unresponsively at the said raven with his jaw dropped.

"You guys are really knuckleheads." Kei bites. "It's literally obvious."

"I did think that those kids look a lot like Omi, and Kitsu acts like him too, but I thought that it was coincidental! Because, because-" Shoyo starts.

"Because we never noticed that you looked at Tsum-tsum that way! We thought you just had some sort of rivalry between you so he would tease you to get on your nerves! And I never thought there was something in between you! What happened?" Kou mumbles along.

"There was something between us, but it wasn't love." Kiyoomi admits.

"Then what?" Shoyo asks.

"They were fuck buddies for crying out loud." Tetsurou explains for Kiyoomi, who's having a hard time doing so. The two spikers stare at him in disbelief. "One night, Omi decided not to use a condom then bwah! Kids have been made."

"Even if you guys weren't in love or anything, you could've at least been together for your children." Koutarou says. "So why-"

"Easy. Once Omi found out that Atsumu was pregnant, he said he didn't want the kids, and left him." Tetsurou spits out the most painful truth for Kiyoomi.

Silence again as the tangerine and the multicolor-haired alpha process what the hell happened.

"Dude, thaaaaat's fucked up." Koutarou says.

"What he said!" Shoyo follows, pointing to Kou.

"Omi how dare you?" Koutarou asks.

The raven sighs. "I didn't mean for it to happen. Listen, I panicked, and I wasn't thinking straight. The pregnancy was accidental-"

"All our pregnancies are accidental." Shoyo says as-a-matter-of-factly.

Kiyoomi groans as he hits his head on the table, making the beverage in their glasses shake. "Unlike you people, there was nothing between us."

"'Nothing between us?'" Kei finally talks. "Atsumu was in love with you, idiot!"

Kiyoomi widened his eyes. How come he didn't notice. Maybe it's because that in their beneficial relationship, he only thought about himself and his pleasure. He never knew what Atsumu truly wanted. He didn't bother to ask, he didn't bother to care. How selfish.

"If it's one sided, then I'm pretty sure there's nothing between them." Tetsurou retorts.

"No, I wasn't in love. But I was falling. Maybe we could've been if our relationship continued." Kiyoomi admits. It's the truth though, he was really falling for the blond.

Kiyoomi explained what went down at Onigiri Miya and at Atsumu's apartment. He explained everything, from where he got asked for Tetsurou's contact and why he asked for it. He even explained that Keiji was the mastermind in the plan of taking the twins' dna. It felt good for him, because he finally had the opportunity to let steam out. Now, Shoyo and Koutarou know everything, even the reason why Atsumu left the Jackals.

"What are you planning to do now? You have to act fast, because they're leaving for Vancouver in 8 months." Tetsurou says.

"I'm pretty sure 8 months is a lot of time, if Sakusa-san can make it, that is." Kei responded to his beloved.

"Why Vancouver?" Shoyo asks.

"According to Atsumu, the team he'll be playing for pays a lot higher than division 1 teams here in Japan. He'll be able to earn more than needed for him and the kids. Plus, he's dreaming of starting a new life for him and the kids. Since the community there is less strict, he'll not get discriminated against as a single parent omega because there are a lot of them in Canada. He even dreams about finding true love there, what an asshole." Kei explains.

Kiyoomi doesn't know why, but he clenched his fists at hearing this. First of all, if he gets custody over the kids, he can help with their expenses and there's no need for Atsumu to switch teams. Second, if Atsumu reveals that Kiyoomi's the father, he won't get discriminated against even in Japan. Lastly, why look for true love when Kiyoomi's already here? The literal father of his children? The solutions Atsumu needs don't have to be found overseas. Kiyoomi is the only solution.

"I don't know what to do now. Just... Please help me." Kiyoomi sighs.

"Now that you got into a fight with Osamu, he won't leave the twins with Keiji anymore." Koutarou reminds, sipping on his beer. Kiyoomi grunts as he nods.

"And Atsumu is surely avoiding you. He doesn't want the kids to get attached to you so it won't be harder to leave Japan." Tetsurou follows. Another grunt from the curly haired raven.

"You do know that you might not have a chance to see the kids anymore?" Shoyo says, rubbing salt at the would. Resulting in one last grunt and a nod from Kiyoomi.

"But..." Kei starts, his jaw resting on his palm. "Something can be arranged."

\---

Three days later, Kiyoomi finds himself back at Sendai. He's standing in a house's doorstep, as he knocks on it carefully

With the help of the Kuroos, a plan was established. Atsumu is on an away-training for all the setters of division 2 VLeague teams. Their training is at Kyoto, which is far, far away from Sendai. The maximum days of his stay is five, and minimum is three. Because he'll be away, he left the kids with Kei. Kei himself thought of this as a great opportunity to help establish a bond between Kiyoomi and the kids, so once the weekend rolls in, the alpha will visit Sendai to have a day with his kids.

The door opened, revealing a little girl. She has blond shoulder-length hair, and Tetsurou's face. Her side bangs and the ends of her hair curls inward. She stared at the spiker, unintimidated. Mostly because, 'my mama's taller than him'. Kiyoomi stares back at her. Their staring contest continues for God-knows-how-long, before the little girl called her friends.

"Kitsuuuu, Sumiiii, where's mommy and daddyyy?!" She yells from her position.

"Uncle Kei's on the phone and uncle Tetsu's brushing his teeth." Kitsu answers from inside the house. His voice isn't loud enough to be considered as a yell, but it was loud enough to be heard by the alpha and the little girl. Kiyoomi feels relieved to hear his son's voice. "What's the matter?"

"There's someone here. He looks like he's from the..." The little girl squints her eyes, scanning the spiker in front of her. She tries to remember where she last saw him. "I guess he's from the Jackals."

"Must be Uncle Kou, or Uncle Sho? Uncle Kei did mention that they like visiting here out of the blue." Kitsu says, his voice a little softer but still audible.

"No, no it's neither of them. This guy's different. This is my first time seeing him in person." Says the little girl.

"Ask for the name, idiot." Kitsu says. And from his tone, Kiyoomi can imply that he's rolling his eyes. The way he says it so bluntly reminds him of himself.

"I'm trying to be nice here! Remember who's the owner of this house! It's me, not you, fox boy!" The little girl snaps and huffs before turning to the alpha. "Name?"

She didn't even bother to greet a good morning. Wow, salty just like her mom, ay?

"Sakusa Kiyoomi." The alpha says plainly.

"Tagusa Mayumi!" The little girl yells to Kitsu. Kiyoomi mentally facepalms himself. He's not sure if she's doing it intentionally just like what her father would do, or if she's just plain off stupid.

"Yuka, are you sure he's from the Jackals? I'm not a fan of theirs but I'm pretty sure there's no one there named that." Kitsu replies.

"What do you expect me to do then?!" The little girl named Yuka yells louder, losing her patience.

"I don't know, describe the appearance?"

Yuka scanned her eyes up and down Kiyoomi. She then says, "Pale skin, curly black hair, tall but mama's taller-"

"Just to ask for a name, it takes you this long?" Kitsu walks in beside Yuka. His attention travels to the grownup in front of them. "Sakusa-san?"

"Kitsu..." Kiyoomi spares no time in crouching down and hugging him. He's so glad that he gets to be with his son again. Now that he's sure that Kitsu's his son, it changes everything.

"Uh, Sakusa-san?" A very confused Kitsu calls out. Then Kiyoomi remembers, they don't know that he's their father yet. Kei advised the Jackals spiker to not reveal to the kids that he's the father. Because if they know this, they will be telling Atsumu for sure and the setter would know that he was seeing the kids. Instead, Kei told Kiyoomi to try and become closer to them so that the kids would try to convince Atsumu to get to see Kiyoomi again, without any suspicions. Atsumu will just assume that the last time they saw him was at the park in Tokyo.

Kiyoomi pulls away. "Sorry. I just missed you."

"What's all that fuss about? Help me open this jar of pickles!" Sumi demands as she approaches the front door, where her brother and best friend are entertaining a certain Sakusa Kiyoomi. She gasps in excitement. "Sakusa-san, good morning!" Sumi puts the jar by the corner or the genkan as she runs to hug the spiker's leg.

Kiyoomi feels all warm inside. He was never hugged by a child, nonetheless his own daughter. He then crouched down to pick Sumi up. "Oooh, I'm going up!" She giggled as she was now in the arms of father. Kiyoomi's mysophobia didn't attack for once, because he can never think of his own children dirty. He smiled as he stared into Sumi's brown eyes. They reminded him so much of Atsumu. He also catches a close up of her curls, which is exactly identical to his own. She then turns and points to Kitsu. "First to be carried by Sakusa-san, I win!"

Kitsu rolled his eyes at his sister's childishness (well, technically they are children but that's not the point). He then ignores Sumi as he turns to Yuka. "Oh and his name is Sakusa Kiyoomi. Not Tagusa Mayumi."

Yuka blushes in embarrassment. "I- I k-know that!"

"Why is the pickle jar at the genkan?" A voice interrupted their moment. They turn to see Tetsurou, who just changed into his work clothes. "Oh, didn't know you're here already. Good morning Omi." He smiles when he sees Kiyoomi carrying Sumi.

"Let me introduce you to my daughter, Yuka." Tetsurou continues as he turns to the little blonde. "Yuka, this is Sakusa-san. Feel free to call him uncle Omi." Yuka then nodded.

"What is Sakusa-san doing here?" Kitsu asked.

"Since all of us will be busy today, Kei has practice and I have to check my papers, Omi will be staying with you today. You are free to go anywhere with his guidance." Tetsurou says, adjusting his watch.

"Let's go to the zooooo!" Sumi singsongs as she jumps out of Kiyoomi's arms and lands on her feet. That surprised everyone. As Tetsurou was about to scold her regarding how dangerous that was, his own daughter spoke up. "You're going to the zoo? No fair, I wanna go too!" Yuka whines as she stomps her foot.

"Eh? You aren't coming?" Sumi approaches her friend with a questioning look.

"I have these stupid piano lessons!" Yuka pouts as her cheeks inflate, stomping her foot again.

"Don't call them stupid, your mother will get angry." Tetsurou scolds.

"But I wanna go to the zoo! You'll let me go, right daddy?" Yuka pleads, giving puppy eyes.

Tetsurou sighs. "I wish I could honey but-"

"But I wanna see the dinosaurs!" Yuka explains, throwing a tantrum.

"There are dinosaurs in the zoo?!" Sumi once again gasps in excitement.

"Fools. The dinosaurs died out millions of years ago. You," Kitsu points to Yuka. "The daughter of a dino fan himself should know that."

"Killjoy Kitsu!" Sumi scolds her brother and then turns to the blonde girl. "Yuka, if no one else believes they exist, then I'll believe with you." Yuka sniffs and smiles.

"You girls really are stupid." Kitsu rolls his eyes for the nth time today, barely bearing with their stupidity. Unfortunately for him, that won't be the last time.

"Daddy, me and Sumi are going to visit the dinosaurs! Please let me skip lessons just for today! Please!" Yuka pleads once more.

"Your mother won't like that."

"But-"

"How about this. Once you’re finished with your lessons, we'll catch up with them. You finish by lunch right?" Tetsurou asks. Yuka nods, sniffing. Her father gives a smile. "Alright, it's settled."

\---

At the car, Sumi insists to be seated at the passenger seat while Kitsu at the back. It made Kiyoomi wonder why they wanted to go to the zoo when Atsumu promised to take them there a few days ago. He then asks. "Did you go to the zoo recently?"

"Unfortunately, no. Mama said he'll take us if we wake up early but we overslept." Sumi chuckled. "How did you know we were supposed to go to the zoo?"

Oh shit. Kiyoomi then remembers that Sumi had no idea that he was the guy pounding on the door thay night. He really needs to be careful with his words. "Erm, I-- you told me when we were in Tokyo." Kiyoomi responds, voice a bit unsure. He hoped his daughter wouldn't notice it.

Sumi contemplates for a bit, mumbling a 'hmmm'. She then smiled. "Oh really? I must've forgotten. My bad!"

They arrive at the zoo a moment later. Once they enter the gate, Kiyoomi cringes at how many people are there. He tries and eventually manages to convince himself that, 'I was gone from my childrens' first 5 years, this is the least I can do.' While he was stuck with his thoughts, Sumi and Kitsu's eyes beam in excitement. Kiyoomi seems to notice this because his anxious thoughts disappeared. "You haven't been to the Zoo yet?" He asks.

"We've been here three times, I think." Kitsu starts. "The last time we visited was a few months ago."

"There was a pregnant mother tiger here! I wanna see if she already gave birth!" Sumi says with enthusiasm.

It reminds Kiyoomi of the last time he saw Atsumu five years ago, pregnant and confused. He could remember the tears in his eyes as he pleaded to be heard. Guilt gathers in his stomach as he tries to shake the thought off. "Alright, let's get tickets."

After getting tickets and a map of the whole zoo, the alpha examines it. It's a big zoo, even with a mini aquarium. They even have polar bears and penguins. Kiyoomi always wanted to see a penguin. As a kid, he believed thay penguins were always clean because of their shiny skin and the fact that they always expose themselves to water. Maybe now is his chance, right? Maybe even for today, he can be five years old again.

"Where do we go first?" He asked the twins. They both beamed excitedly before answering in union.

"Tigers!"

"Foxes!"

Once they knew that the other had a different preference, they turned their heads to each other, engaging themselves into a heated staring contest.

Sumi then threatens. "I said ti-"

"Foxes." Kitsu finished, unintimidated.

"Tigers."

"Foxes."

The arguing went on and Kiyoomi did nothing but watch and sigh. Soon, an idea pops up. He knows how to use their competitiveness to his advantage. "Say kids, who's the braver one between you two?"

"Me!" Sumi raises her hand and corrects her posture so she can stand up proudly. Kitsu, as expected, rolls his eyes at this.

"Tch, really? When you didn't want to enter our room for three days because you saw a cockroach pass by?" Kitsu says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Hey! Things change, okay? It's been centuries since that happened!" The little girl over exaggerates as she says that in a dramatic tone.

"Sumi that was two weeks ago."

"Really? It felt like centuries to me. You just don't know how to keep track of time!"

This kind of bickering was cute but Kiyoomi knows they just can't stand in the middle of the entrance for the whole day. He then puts a stop to it. "Why don't we figure out who's braver by going to the alligators?"

Again, it was effective. He knew that kids like them have fear instead of curiosity. That as well is Atsumu's trait, he can pick up on even the scariest people just like how he picked up on Kiyoomi. Both kids turn their heads in excitement, showing no nervousness. They nodded enthusiastically.

They arrived at the alligator pen. The alligators walked slowly, their jaws opening and closing as they caught fish. Kitsu then made a remark. "It's very dirty there. Do the staff even clean?"

Kiyoomi chuckles. He really sounds like the alpha himself. It was so obvious, that anyone would've noticed. Maybe Keiji was right. Maybe if he didn't have doubts about his relationship with the twins, then he wouldn't have taken that dna test that made Atsumu a lot angrier than usual.

"Y'know, the alligators remind me of Kitsu a lot. They're boring and really slow. They're also a bit scary." Sumi jokes.

"How am I scary?"

"Other kids don't approach you that much."

"Not everyone is popular like you, idiot." Kitsu deadpans.

"It's not my fault." Sumi shrugs, lifting her shoulders teasingly. And it looks like her brother is losing his patience. "If I could, I would throw you in that den, y'know."

"Now that's plain off mean, you're doing that on purpose Kitsu." Sumi says dramatically, obviously teasing him continuously.

Kiyoomi chuckles a bit at this. She's really like her mother. It's very entertaining to be with these kids. You don't have to go to the cinema for comedy if you spend a whole day with them.

"Wh- So you mean you weren't teasing me on purpose?! Hypocrite!" Kitsu snaps, finally losing it.

"That's another big word for someone your age, Kitsu." Kiyoomi remarks. "Kei must be teaching you well."

"Mhm." Kitsu hums. "When mama leaves us with uncle Kei and uncle Tetsurou, uncle Kei says he likes to spend time with me because I'm the 'calmer and smarter one'. You should've seen Sumi's tantrum back then." Kitsu gives a fox-like smirk at his sister while Sumi stomps her foot and turns her back at him. At last, Kitsu finally got back at his sister.

"Hmph." Sumi says before turning to her father. "Sakusa-saaaaan, where are we going now? I don't want to stay in a den of Kitsu's siblings." Sumi whines, implying her comparison between her brother and alligators a while ago.

"Actually, you're my only sibling. And that fact alone pains me." Kitsu says, still with a smirk as he claims victory over their teasing quarrel.

Kiyokmi lets out another chuckle before checking his map. "Let's feed the giraffes?"

Suddenly, Sumi's drama dissolves as another beam of interest appears. Kitsu seems to be interested too, if it wasn't for the fact that he'll be touching some stinky zoo food and bringing it closer to an animal's mouth. "I'm not feeding the giraffes. But I'd like to visit them."

Sumi waves goodbye to the alligators and yells a "See you later alligator!"

And so they visited the giraffes. Afterwards, they went to see the koalas, and after the koalas, the zebras. Then they went to the monkey cage, where the noise of the monkey irritated the Kitsu, making him say to his sister, "If I'm an alligator, then you're a monkey. It makes sense, because you're annoying, loud, energetic and you move too much, like a monkey."

Kiyoomi choked on his water, trying to suppress his laughter upon seeing Sumi's inflated cheeks and furrowed brows, indicating her anger. After that, she ignored Kitsu with a "hmph!"

Quarreling aside, after the monkeys, they visited the turtles and then the elephants. Then the snakes. Sumi turned to Kitsu, forgetting her act and about to tell him how the snakes look like Daishou-san when her brother made another teasing remark. "Shouldn't you be scared Sumi? I heard that some snakes eat monkeys!" He says all with a smug smirk, similar to the smirk Atsumu would wear twenty-four seven.

"Hmph! You're not my brother!" She exclaims before turning away once more. Kiyoomi sighs. These two won't stop fighting, ay? He then remembers five years ago when he would frequently argue with Atsumu. God, he's missing the blond that desperately.

Then they arrive at the tigers, Sumi abandoning all her anger towards her brother as enthusiasm takes over her. There are other kids around by the tigers' den but no one dared approach the glass as close as how Sumi approached it, not even Kitsu has the guts to. Once the tiger roared, the other kids took a step back behind their parents. Kitsu clings to Kiyoomi's pants as he hides behind his leg. Kiyoomi gets that warm, fuzzy feeling as he strokes his son's back for comfort. Sumi, on the other hand, smiled wider and approached the tiger that roared until her forehead was touching the glass.

"Idiot, not too close!" Kitsu yells at his sister but hides again when the tiger's golden eyes flash towards him, he exhales a small terrified gasp at the action. His hold onto Kiyoomi is tighter as the alpha continues to stroke his back. Meanwhile, Sumi's chubby cheeks are pressed and the rest of her face is pressed against the glass as the tiger roars louder. But the little raven is unfazed, as she giggles wholeheartedly, showing no signs of fear. The tiger's face softens at her laugh.

"Are your cubs born already?" She asks softly and as if on cue, three little cubs approach the tiger facing her. Sumi gasps excitedly as her eyes sparkle in adoration. "They're so cute!"

She then turns to Kiyoomi and Kitsu. "Kitsu! They're born already! Come look!" She calls out, forgetting her plan on ignoring her brother. Everyone around stares at her, feeling soft at her actions.

"There's no way I'm approaching that, I might get a heart attack!" Kitsu hisses.

"Hey, I am at risk at a heart attack too! I might get one because of cuteness overload!" She says with giddiness as the cubs approach her.

There Kiyoomi learns that Sumi is the fearless type. She sees the positive side of the scarier things so she isn't scared of them, like Atsumu. Opposite to her brother who flinches at loud noise, like himself. His mind only has one thought.

'I have a very brave daughter'.

\---

"Finally! The foxes!" Kitsu says as they step foot into the foxes' part of the zoo. This time, it was him who was very interested. Sumi is excited too, but not as much as her brother.

"Why do you like foxes, Kitsu?" Kiyoomi asks curiously.

Kitsu shrugs. "I don't know, I just like them. They're soft and fluffy and smart, unlike Sumi."

"Hey! I'm smart too!" Sumi retorts to which her brother ignores. "It's just like how Sumi likes tigers. If she isn't a monkey then she'd be a tiger."

"Stop comparing me with a monkey!"

Kitsu continues to ignore his sister's tantrums as he turns to Kiyoomi. "How about you Sakusa-san, do you like foxes?"

"Yes I do." He responds and doesn't bother to think about his next words. "They remind me so much of your mother."

"Yeah. Mama really looks like a fox." Kitsu says. "Can we pet them?"

Kiyoomi nods before accompanying the preschoolers closer to the den, where he asks the staff if they can pet the foxes. The staff nods, leaving some rules for them to follow. First, no feeding. Second, no holding (carrying). The list goes on and on, enough for Kiyoomi to know that they're only allowed to pet the foxes. They entered the den and immediately, the foxes approached them.

"Well wouldya' look at that." Sumi starts, unconsciously activating her accent from her mother. "You look so much like a fox, that they think you're their leader or somethin'." She says to Kitsu, who is busy petting each fox. Kiyoomi found it strange that Kitsu refused to touch any animal other than the foxes.

The foxes have their colors in a variety. Most are red, some are a mix of grey and black, and very few are white as snow. Sumi pets the energetic red foxes, who chase her as she runs, giggling around, and eventually getting scolded by the staff. Kiyoomi was about to tell her off too, when the other twin called his attention.

"Sakusa-san!" Kitsu calls out. Kiyoomi turns to see a smiling Kitsu as foxes gather around them. He smiles genuinely, all teeth. He is very happy. This view is heartwarming, so Kiyoomi pulls out his phone and tells Kitsu that he's going to take a few pictures.

It's very rare for Kitsu to be smiling genuinely like that, just like both his parents. Atsumu, who had a smirk on his face almost all the time, and Kiyoomi, who doesn't show much expression on his. Kiyoomi then notices how much he looks like Atsumu and the foxes. From his hooded brown eyes, to his sly smirks, it all resembles a fox. Sumi looks like one a bit too, but she mostly got Kiyoomi's face. It's surprising how these twins are not completely identical, but you can see a portion of the other one in each other.

An idea pops up in the spiker's head as he calls his daughter. "Sumi, come here! Let me take a picture of you and Kitsu!"

Sumi, who was in the middle of a fox chase with four other foxes, raises a brow as she approaches the alpha. "Why would I take a picture with someone who calls me a monkey?"

"Please? Just this once and I'll buy you some souvenirs." Kiyoomi pleads. The little girl's brown eyes light up. "Promise?"

"Promise." The alpha smiles as Sumi runs towards her brother, posing beside him. The other foxes look at the camera of the phone as Kiyoomi takes the perfect picture.

'It's really perfect.' Kiyoomi smiles to himself. He wonders how much more perfect it would be if Atsumu was with them right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not update for a while, but I promise I'll try my best again haha!
> 
> Ps I antagonized sakusa aaaaaaahh I didn't mean for it to happen, apologies :'((


	6. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoomi does his promise with Atsumu five years ago, but with their children instead of the latter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: profanity at the group chat. If you're not comfortable with profanity, i suggest you skip it.
> 
> Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

It's almost lunch time when they finish with the foxes and buy some souvenirs. Kiyoomi receives a text from Tetsurou. The other alpha informs him that he and Yuka are already at the zoo. Kiyoomi and the twins go to the gate to find the father-daughter pair waving at them.

"I'm finished with my lessons!" Yuka says excitedly as she runs to grab Sumi's hand. "Let's go see the dinosaurs!"

"Yuka, we didn't eat lunch. I'm pretty sure Omi and the twins haven't yet either." Tetsurou informs, killing the mood of his daughter. He then turns to Kiyoomi. "Oya? You're slightly smiling. Did today go out well?" Tetsurou smirks.

"Shut up. Don't ask me that, you're not my mom." Kiyoomi says bluntly, frowning. Tetsurou only laughs at the harshness of the other alpha. "Let's eat shall we?"

The five of them are currently at a seafood restaurant inside of the zoo. While waiting for their orders, Yuka asked the ravenette. "Sumi, are there dinosaurs in the zoo?"

Sumi turns to her father, who is sitting beside her. "Are there, Sakusa-san? That map was with ya the whole time, right?"

Kiyoomi then thinks of a response. Of course there were no dinosaurs, but he doesn't want to crush the children's dreams. Both girls look at him, expectant of an answer. Unsure of what to say, Kiyoomi says the first thing on his mind. "Erm... Uhh, there were lizards. Does that count?"

Yuka frowns. "No. No it doesn't."

"I told you both, give it up already! They're already extinct!" Kitsu hisses, tired of their insistence. Unfortunately, this does not work on the blonde.

"No! There are still dinosaurs!" Yuka stubbornly insists, ready to throw in another tantrum.

"Hey, calm down sweetie." Tetsurou says to his pouting daughter. "There are dinosaur bones at the museum! Let's check them out there, shall we?"

The blonde's eyes lit up as she nodded enthusiastically. She then turns to Sumi, who has the same expression on her face.

"Can we go, Sakusa-san?" Sumi asks.

Kiyoomi only smiles. How can he ever say no? "Of course."

\---

"Let's go to the museuuuummm!" Yuka singsongs, skipping happily with Sumi beside her. They finished lunch and are about to exit the zoo.

"Hey Omi, have you checked the penguins yet?" Tetsurou asks, holding his daughter's hand. Kiyoomi, a bit taken aback by the sudden question, manages to keep his composure and say a simple no. Tetsurou then smiles. "Alright, let's check the penguins before going to the museum!"

"Why-"

"Because you like penguins, right?" Tetsurou asks for confirmation curiously, tilting his head like a cat.

A light pink blush faintly appears at the tip of his ears. "Where did you learn that?"

"Who else, you sea urchin? Atsumu." Tetsurou responds as-a-matter-of-factly. Kiyoomi inhales as he closes his eyes. He still remembers his conversation with Atsumu back then.

\---

_"Ya like penguins Omi-kun? That's so cute!" Atsumu remarks as Kiyoomi turns away to hide his blush._

_The setter invited the spiker to his apartment for dinner to thank him for another successful heat. Or at least, that's what Kiyoomi thought. What Atsumu's real intention was, was to spend time and become closer to the alpha. Nobody can blame him. He was madly in love back then._

_"Sh-shut up."_

_"I'm not jokin', that's really cute! Why r' ya embarrassed?" Atsumu giggles at his alpha's shyness._

_"I told you to shut up."_

_"Don't be so prickly Omi-omi~" Atsumu purrs and a laugh follows. They finished dinner and were now sitting in comfortable silence at the setter's balcony, staring at the stars. The silence would only be broken with frequent small talk that Atsumu would start._

_"Ya should really be proud of the things ya love. Stop hidin' 'em." Atsumu informs. Kiyoomi doesn't supply an answer. Silence evades again as their focus leaves the conversation and goes to the stars._

_"Hey Omi." The omega starts again._

_"Hmm?"_

_"Wanna visit the penguins with me next time?" Atsumu asks, eyes still glued to the sky, mesmerised by the constellations above them. The limitless sky is reflected in his eyes, transferring those thousands of constellations into those brown orbs._

_Kiyoomi was about to roll his eyes, but then he caught how genuine Atsumu asks it. How he looks so in love, full of hope and passion. This tone of his voice is even rarer than catching a star twinkle at you. So Kiyoomi diverts his attention from the stars to the omega beside him. He can't help the smile that creeps onto his face._

_"Yeah. That would be nice."_

\---

Kiyoomi's reminiscing ends with a sigh as they enter the penguin's share of the zoo. He really was selfish to not look at Atsumu's feelings.

"Hm? Sakusa-san, are you sad?" Kitsu asks upon hearing the sigh. The alpha gave a sad smile. "It's nothing really. I just miss someone."

"That's fine. We miss mama too." Kitsu responds, as they approach the penguins. His eyes travel to the icy habitats that were separated from them by the thick glass.

"Then we're missing the same person." Kiyoomi mumbles.

"Hmm? What was that? I didn't quite get it." Kitsu asks, turning his head back to the spiker.

Kiyoomi sighs again, thankful that his son didn't hear what he said. "Hm, I didn't say anything."

"Strange. I must be imagining things again. This is all Sumi's fault." Kitsu pouts.

"How is it her fault?" The grown raven asks.

"She drives me crazy every single day! And not in a good way." Kitsu says, earning a laugh from Kiyoomi. The alpha's gaze then travels to the said ravenette, who is chatting with her best friend.

"Aren't you scared that Yuka's going to take your sister away from you?" Kiyoomi asks teasingly.

Kitsu shrugs. "Meh, she can have her. Those two are basically inseparable anyways."

Kiyoomi laughs again. Kitsu is a mini Osamu, that's for sure.

They stop in front of the glass where penguins were swimming, walking and going about their daily routines. At last, Kiyoomi thinks it's 2001 again, because he feels like a five year old. His black eyes glistens as he carefully observes the penguins. Sumi seems to take notice of this, so she approaches the alpha.

"Sakusa-san, you like penguins?" Sumi asks, as she cocks her head sidewards curiously.

Unlike his talk with Atsumu, he didn't bother to deny it. He thinks he should follow the omega's advice of being proud of what he loves. With the same blush as five years ago, he replies. "Yes. Yes I do."

It feels good to finally not be ashamed of it. He really owes it to Atsumu. He really misses him too.

"That's cute!" Sumi exclaims. "I like penguins too. But not as much as tigers!"

Kiyoomi smiles as he continues to watch the penguins. He may not be visiting the penguins with Atsumu, but hopefully one day, he will. Of course, with their children, as a family.

\---

They visited the museum and headed to the dinosaur exhibit first. Although not alive, the ravenette and the blonde were in awe to see a gigantic T-Rex skeletal figure. That seems to please Yuka enough, as she won't stop talking about how she'll brag about seeing a dinosaur to her mother. Afterwards, they continued down to the paintings which pleased Kitsu because of the vibrant colors and different art styles. Kiyoomi learns that just like himself, Kitsu has a passion for drawing and painting. They then pass by statues where the two little ladies would imitate the poses. Sometimes, even Kitsu would join them if he was feeling cheeky enough.

They end the day by returning to the Kuroo residence, where Kiyoomi bid goodbye to his children, with high hopes of seeing them again. And with that, he travels back to Tokyo.

Once he arrived at his apartment, he did his usual routine. He bought some take out, cleaned around while waiting for the delivery, and after eating, took a bath and did his skin care routine. When all was finished, he plopped down on his bed, opening his phone. The first thing that caught his eye was a group chat.

[Bokuto Koutarou created a new chat]

[Bokuto Koutarou named the chat 'Three couples and a single bitch'] 

[Bokuto Koutarou set his nickname to Koko] 

[Koko added you and 5 others] 

Koko: Hey hey hey! 

Koko: How's the endeavour redemption arc going?

[Kageyama Shoyo set his nickname to Sunshine boi☀] 

Sunshine boi☀️: Good evening kou-san!!! 

Sunshine boi☀️: Wait... U know bnha?? 

Koko: Yes my disciple!!1!1!

Koko: hbu? 

Sunshine boi☀️: I used to watch it in rio with pedro

Sunshine boi☀️: I read the manga during my free time!

Koko: really???

Sunshine boi☀️: Yes! I also watched Naruto and one piece

Koko: you're cultured asf

Sunshine boi☀️: 😀

Kuroo Kei: we aren't here to talk about anime

Koko: TSUKKIIII

Kuroo Tetsurou: wow. He's literally a kuroo now and ur calling him tsukki

Kuroo Kei: cant blame him babe. I have a better last name than u 🙂

Kuroo Tetsurou: kei 😿

Koko: both of u need nicknames!

Kuroo Kei: Kou dont u dare

[Koko set Kuroo Kei's nickname to moonsalt🌙]

[Koko set Kuroo Tetsurou's nickname to nya nya motherfucker]

Bokuto Keiji: Kou, the profanity...

Koko: Sorry love 😞

[Koko changed nya nya motherfucker's nickname to nya nya Kei fucker]

nya nya Kei fucker: what the actual fuck kou

Koko: It's true 😌💅

Bokuto Keiji: Koutarou...

Koko: I'm sorry! Ajdbdbdeocnwsk

[Koko changed nya nya Kei fucker's nickname to a pussy]

A pussy: r u that mad at me kou

Moonsalt🌙: not complaining, it suits u hun 🙂

A pussy: sometimes I wonder why I married u

Moonsalt🌙: 🙂

Kageyama Tobio: What did kuroo san do?

Koko: he ate the last slice of pizza last week!!1!1!

Sunshine boi☀️: Tobio!!! Did u put hiroyo to sleep?

Kageyama Tobio: she isnt sleeping and it looks like she wont be anytime soon

Bokuto Keiji: Did u try lulling her to sleep? 

Kageyama Tobio: no wtf I have a bad voice 😐

Sunshine boi☀️: she literally cried when Tobio tried to sing to her last time

Kageyama Tobio: BOKE shut up

Sunshine boi☀️: get down here first

Kageyama Tobio: i cant leave her here

Sunshine boi☀️: bring her down idiot

Kageyama Tobio: excuse me, who's the idiot here???

Sunshine boi☀️: u

Sunshine boi☀️: i just said it, idiot.

Koko: hey hey hey!

Koko: keiji and Tobio have no nicknames yet

A pussy: istg, dont let kou set ur nicknames

Koko: give me back my last slice of pizza first then ill show mercy

[Koko set Bokuto Keiji's nickname to jiji 🦉] 

Sunshine boi☀️: Kou-san!! Can I set Tobio's nickname??? 

Koko: sure, my disciple 😀

[Sunshine boi☀️ set Kageyama Tobio's nickname to idiot] 

Idiot: istg sho

Sunshine boi☀️: get down here tobio

Idiot: wait i have an idea

Moonsalt 🌙: we r literally grown ass adults, why do nicknames even matter

A pussy: hun, u agreed with my nickname, don't forget

Moonsalt 🌙: oh yeah. Sorry, ily 🙂

A pussy: 😿

Kiyoomi sighs at the chat. He wasted a good five minutes reading all this bullshit. He then thought about replying because they're probably waiting for him. 

Me: The gc name is offensive to me

Koko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Koko: hi omi!!! 

Jiji 🦉: Sakusa-san, good evening 

A pussy: r u at Tokyo now??? 

Me: yes. The travel went well

Sunshine boi ☀️: omi-san!!!

Me: yes, hello to u too shou

Koko: u need a nickname

A pussy: oh bother

A pussy: wait... Kou I'll be the one to set this

Koko: why should I let u 😒

A pussy: keiji-san, I really pity u. U have two kids to take care of and ur carrying a third

Jiji 🦉: kuroo san, u may be a pain in the ass but sometimes u make sense. Please excuse my child

Koko: u 2 r being mean 😭

A pussy: whatever

[A pussy set your nickname to penguin 🐧] 

Sunshine boi ☀️: why penguin? 

A pussy: i just confirmed today that omi is soft for penguins

Koko: wait rlly? 

Sunshine boi ☀️: that's so cute 🥺

Kiyoomi facepalms himself.

Moonsalt 🌙: BACK TO THE ACTUAL MATTER

Moonsalt 🌙: how'd it go?

A pussy: honey, he was smiling the whole day!

Me: ew. U both are acting like my parents

Moonsalt 🌙: be grateful we're helping u, u ungrateful, regretful, single bitch

The alpha sighs at this.

Me: alright

Me: thank you

Koko: idk if ur being genuine or if ur being a dick

Jiji 🦉: let him be whatever he wants

Sunshine boi ☀️: hello sakusa-san, I heard everything from shoyo

Sunshine boi ☀️: it's Tobio btw

Me: hello Tobio, may I ask what happened to ur phone? 

Sunshine boi ☀️: my phone is in hiroyo's room, playing cocomelon on the background to help her sleep

Moonsalt 🌙: ah, it's rather unfortunate for u king

Moonsalt 🌙: that ur own attempts in music make ur daughter cry

Sunshine boi ☀️: stfu tsukki, can u even sing? 

Moonsalt🌙: I can't, but I play the piano, and my daughter can go to sleep by just that 🙂

Sunshine boi ☀️: istg, its been more than a decade and ur still picking up on me

Moonsalt🌙: how tragic 😥

Jiji 🦉: we're going out of topic

Jiji 🦉: Sakusa-san, are u planning on visiting the twins tomorrow?

Moonsalt🌙: Atsumu will be picking them up tomorrow

A pussy: how unfortunate 😿

Idiot: you two r really a couple

Sunshine boi ☀️: sho??? What r u doing w my phone? 

Idiot: I'm at hiro's room idiot

Idiot: ur ideas r rlly dumb, playing cocomelon did NOT help her sleep

Idiot: idiot

Sunshine boi ☀️: well, now that we switched phones, ur nickname is literally idiot 🙂

Idiot: ... 

Idiot: Tobio give me back my phone now

Sunshine boi ☀️: it's ur turn to get down here sho

Me: wait. What if they tell him

A pussy: don't worry omi, we already told them not to. Hopefully they wont

Moonsalt🌙: knowing Sumi, she might not

Me: I would be mad at u for talking like that about my daughter but its true

Moonsalt🌙: let's just hope she doesnt

Moonsalt🌙: and who r u calling ur daughter? They don't even know ur their father yet 🤡 

Me: Kei you are not helping

Moonsalt🌙: I know 🙂

Kiyoomi lays on his bed in frustration. This is going to be harder than he expected. And this group chat isn't the least bit helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't rlly know why I associated sakusa with penguins. Idk, I think it's neat
> 
> Thank you for reading this chap! See you in the next 💗
> 
> Another ps: we're at a hundred kudos! May not be much but I'm so happy waaaaah


	7. V.V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu makes a decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrong grammars ahead, I havent edited the whole work yet haha
> 
> Trigger warning: mental disorder / ptsd

It's been a few days since Atsumu returned from Kyoto, his mind filled with volleyball. The very next day after his return to Sendai, he attended practice. Same goes for the next day, and the next, and the next. Guilt fills his heart as he spends less time with his children. 

But alas, he has no choice. He has to work so that he can be able to pay their expenses. Osamu offers him money once in a while, but Atsumu always rejects it. He also feels guilty that it was Osamu who supported him financially during the first three years of his kids' life. He feels useless. He feels like he's weighing his brother down. He feels as if he's not good enough for his children. He feels like a failure to his parents who raised him without any problems financially.

If only he were here. If only he could help with the twins. If only they were a family, and Atsumu didn't have to quit the Jackals, they'd have more than enough. Atsumu wouldn't even be this depressed. If only-

The setter slapped himself as he threads his hands into his golden locks in frustration. He's told himself a million times to stop thinking of the 'if only's and to stop dwelling on the past. It's exhausting and even makes him more depressed. How he can't wait to move to Canada, starting a new life with his children.

That was one of the other things he repeatedly told himself. On the side note of not dwelling on the past and its probabilities, he also constantly reminds himself to work on the future. It's okay to dream, as long as he has a plan in store. He can imagine buying a house, each twin having their own room, and a backyard for them to play in. He can imagine making history as the first Japanese setter to set for the said Canadian team. He even imagines meeting a special someone, one who isn't afraid to make him his, one who will take care of him and his children, one who will make all his feelings about Kiyoomi disappear.

Or maybe he should find a woman? It wouldn't hurt to have an alpha of the opposite sex, right? So the children can have a literal 'mother' and-

"Mama?"

Atsumu snaps out of his ambitious daydreams as he sees Kitsu, approaching him. "Hm?"

"You're zoning out again. Are you alright?" The little raven says in concern. It isn't rare for the omega to be spacing out, but of course his children couldn't help but worry.

"Yes. I'm fine, please don't worry." Atsumu says as he caresses his son's face. Kitsu's scrunched brows disappear but he still isn't satisfied. "Mama if you need anything, don't hesitate to tell me and Sumi."

Atsumu smiles. Kitsu is a smart kid. That trait is inherited from Kiyoomi, a smart spiker who has the highest stats in technique and is very intelligent. Atsumu then frowns. He knows he should stop thinking about his past alpha, but how can he do so when Sumi is the literal girl version of him and Kitsu's personality screams Kiyoomi in every single way? 

"Don't frown mama. If you keep frowning, Sumi might cry again."

"I'm sorry." The setter says as he immediately replaces his frown with a forced smile. "Hey? To make up for all my time gone, I'll finally bring you both to the zoo." 

"No, it's alright. Suddenly, we don't want to go to the zoo anymore." Kitsu informs, remembering what his uncle Tetsu told him. 

"Really? Then what do you guys want then?" The setter asks, raising a brow. 

"Can we see Sakusa-san again?" 

Those six words made Atsumu flinch. Do they even know how much pain that alpha has caused them? He wants to be angry. He wants to be angry that the charm of the raven was able to attract the children just like how he attracted Atsumu. But then again, he could never be angry at his children. He never regretted being with Kiyoomi, because believe if or not, the spiker gave him a blessing. He gave him these two children who are the reason why he's still holding on. 

He couldn't find himself to be angry, so he sighs. He really can't destroy a fatherly bond, can he? "Depends if you see him again." 

Kitsu smiles. Not too far off the distance, he can hear his sister yelling. "Someone help me with my homework!!!" 

Atsumu chuckles. "Kitsu, help Sumi out. I'll prepare dinner." 

The raven obediently nods and he goes to he and his sister's shared bedroom. Atsumu then gets up to start cooking.

\---  
(Flashback) 

"Your brother has PTSD." The doctor informs, facing the twins. 

"W-what?" Osamu stutters at this. 

The doctor clears his throat to explain. "Post traumatic stress disorder. It's a mental illness caused by a trauma-" 

"I know that. But... 'Tsumu is actually sick?" Osamu asks in shock. 

The doctor, Dr. Shikida nods. "The emotional stress he felt was enough to overwhelm him to the point where he developed the disease." 

"'T's fine' Samu... T'was expected that there's somethin' wrong with me." Atsumu dismisses, although the fact that he has a mental illness is quite depressing and new to himself as well. 

"Don't worry. With the right treatment, he can be cured." Dr. Shikida reassures. 

"What kind of treatment might that be?" Osamu asks, ready to open his wallet as long as his brother can get cured. 

"The main effects of Atsumu-san's PTSD are depression and anxiety. I can prescribe him some pills to help with his anxiety and some anti-depressants." Dr. Shikida starts to scribble down some medicines on a blank sheet of paper. 

"Of course, he'll need a proper diet, to stay hydrated, the right amount of sleep every night and he needs to not overwork himself." The doctor then turns to the said blonde. "Medicine alone won't heal you. You need to take care of yourself as well." 

Atsumu gulps as he nods. The doctor then started. "And, it's not good if you keep your emotions all to yourself. It's very important to tell a trusted person about how you feel once in a while."

"If you have no one to talk to, you can talk to me." Dr. Shikida says with a reassuring smile. Osamu is not pleased with this. As an alpha, and the twin of an omega, his brotherly instincts kick in his system. "N' why would 'Tsumu talk to you?" He bites.

"Because I have the same situation with him." 

Osamu's eyes soften and Atsumu listens intently. The doctor then follows, knowing that the two are waiting for him to specify. He looks down at his shoes, probably because of the guilt he has. "I left my omega back then, because he got pregnant when I was still studying psychology." 

"How are the both of you now?" Atsumu asks, interested in his doctor's story. 

Dr. Shikida then looks back up at both of them, as he gives a smile. "We worked things out after a year of no communication, and I managed to be a father and a student. We're now happily married and our child is starting middle school." 

Atsumu can't help but get the feeling of jealousy. It's as if almost everyone he knows has their own happily every after. The feeling of being weak and unworthy gets to him again. The doctor seems to notice this change in mood, so he apologizes guiltily. "I'm sorry, Atsumu-san. I didn't mean to be insensitive. What I was trying to convey is that if you need to talk, you can visit me anytime."

Atsumu smiles weakly as he nods. "Okay, thank you." 

\---

"So he knows he's the father then?" Dr. Shikida asks, smoking on his cigar. Atsumu nods as he sips on the imported green tea that was prepared.

Ever since his first visit four years ago, he likes talking to Dr. Shikida whenever he feels down. He likes talking to him about things that Osamu will never understand. Because they have the same situation, they've grown close by talking, and their company is rather comfortable to each other. Regarding Atsumu's PTSD, he goes on monthly check ups to the doctor's office. The setter's last appointment and check up was two weeks ago, but now he's visiting his office for a casual talk. 

"And you don't want him near your kids because they might get attached to him and it'll be harder for them to leave him?" Dr. Shikida continues, asking for confirmation. 

Atsumu sighs. "When he left me, it was fucking painful enough to give me this PTSD, and I don't want them experiencing the same thing. It's better if they don't know the truth at all." 

"But one day, they are gonna know. You're aware of that, right?"

"Osamu said so too." Atsumu only nods. "But I have a valid reason for that." 

"No matter what the reason, they'll still be hurt that you kept it from them. My son was hurt when my husband told him the truth back then." Dr. Shikida says, staring off the distance as he remembers the day it happened like it was yesterday. "It doesn't matter if their father is a serial killer, or even Hitler himself. As long as you hid it from them, they will feel betrayed."

"I-I... I don't- ugh! Forget it!" Atsumu puts the tea cup down and buries his face in frustration. Everything is too hard for him. He's totally lost, he doesn't know what to do. 

"I won't stop you if that's what you want. But if that's your plan, then why do you still have a problem?" Dr. Shikida asks in a deadpan manner. 

"I want to resolve to that but... But there's something in me that wants him to meet his own children." Atsumu says quietly, looking away as if it was the hardest thing he had to force out of his mouth. 

"That's because you still love him, right?" 

Atsumu's face reddens pathetically as he hesitantly nods. "Unfortunately..." 

They sat in silence, the doctor smoking and the setter occasionally sipping on his tea. It wasn't until the setter spoke up. "Doc... How do I... Move on...?" He says it so softly, that it's almost inaudible. But the doctor heard every single word of that sentence, so he is obliged to give his advice. 

"The reason why you aren't moving on is because you haven't had your closure yet." The doctor says as-a-matter-of-factly. 

Atsumu considers this. It's actually true. He hasn't had his closure with Kiyoomi yet. Maybe that's the answer to all his problems. He spent most of his time crying that he didn't even bother to think about closure. He really is a dumb blond, isn't he? 

"How do I get closure?" Atsumu asks desperately. 

"There are a lot of ways to get closure. But in your situation, I can give you some ways that I think will work the best." 

"Okay, what's the first?" The setter asks. 

"Let him near your children" Dr. Shikida says as if it was the most easiest thing ever. 

"And what is the reason behind that?" Atsumu raises a brow, his stubbornness kicking in again. 

"Maybe the reason why you're not over him is because you still cling on to the 'what if's. For example, what if your alpha did not leave you? What would be the sight of him with children? You're still holding on to the hope that you can turn back time, and be a whole happy family. And maybe, your mind wants to see it to put its thoughts to rest. Maybe if you see your alpha bonding with your kids, you will be satisfied already." Dr. Shikida explains as he finishes his cigar. 

It makes so much sense. The omega put careful thought in this. It's frustrating how doctors are always right. "And if it doesn't work? What's the second way?" 

"Confess your feelings." Dr. Shikida starts. "This is the most common way of closure, and it works for a lot. Many people get over their crushes because of this method. Of course, once you confess, the pressure of letting him know how you feel will disappear and then you can finally focus and rest easy."

There's no need for further explanation. This is how he got over his crush on Kita. But then again, it might not work on Kiyoomi, so he asks again, "What if it doesn't work either? What's the last step ya can suggest?" 

"This one has to be avoidable at all costs." The doctor sighs. 

"It's a'right. I'll try my best to avoid it." 

"Have intercourse with him." Dr. Shikida says simply. 

This makes Atsumu freeze. The alpha ignores the sudden reaction and starts to explain. "It's also a way that works well on a lot of people. I mean, two things can happen after that. One, you'll be asking for more. Two, you'll finally be able to move on. But based on your situation right now, I think you'd be moving on. Because of course, your brain is not lust centered anymore and you have a goal in mind. It's to move to Canada peacefully without any more feelings for him, right?"

Atsumu nods, confirming that. He then asks one last time. "N' if it doesn't work?" 

"Then it can't be helped. You're already too in love with him. Unless you can find a better way of closure, that is." Dr. Shikida says. 

Atsumu considers this. He really needs that closure or he'll never have a peaceful life in Vancouver. I mean, how can he be peaceful if the memories of the past still haunt him? 

"Are ya sure there's no other way?" 

"Not that I know of. But of course, you can always do your research. Whatever you decide, I'll support you." Dr. Shikida smiles that reassuring smile of his. "Everything will be okay, trust me." 

"Thanks, Doctor." Atsumu returns a weak smile. "I really hope so." 

\---

"Are ya sure yer' ready?" Osamu asks over the line. 

"I need closure as soon as possible." Atsumu responds, having no choice.

"Well, goodluck then." Osamu shrugs. "But how are ya gonna contact 'im?" 

"That's why I called you, dumbass." Atsumu bites, as if it's the most obvious thing ever. "Can ya ask Rin ta ask Komori for his contact info?" 

"Wow, and I'm the dumbass." Osamu rolls his eyes. "Sure. I'll forward it ta ya when I get it." 

"Thanks, 'Samu." 

"Better not mess this up."

"It's him that should not mess up." Atsumu snaps bitterly as he hangs up. 

\---

Kiyoomi just arrived at his apartment, exhausted from another day of practice. He does his usual routine, and get ready for bed. Kei and Tetsurou are already helping him plan for the perfect opportunity for him to see the kids again. His thoughts were cut off by the vibration of his phone, indicating that he received a message. 'Who can that be?' He thinks to himself. 

[One new message from an unknown number]

He opens the message.

Unknown number: hello, sakusa-san

Who could this be?

Me: it may be rude for me to ask, but who is this?

His eyes widened at the instant reply of the stranger.

Unknown number: oh. i haven't introduced myself yet, apologies haha

Unknown number: it's miya atsumu

This has to be a prank. Isn't the omega angry at him? Kiyoomi closes his eyes and opens again. The name in the reply did not change. He pinched himself, in hopes that it would wake him up from this hopeful dream. But again, nothing changed. 'Miya Atsumu' is still the name the unknown contact claims themselves to be. 

Me: i swear to god koutarou, if this is a prank

Unknown number: if you don't believe me, then i wont force you too

Me: okay, I'll just have to believe

Me: one thing, where'd you get my contact?

Unknown number: I'll tell you that when we talk in person.

Me: there's a reason why you texted me, right?

Unknown number: oh that, sorry

Unknown number: i think it's time that i introduce you to the kids

The person behind that unknown contact, or Atsumu rather, was typing. Kiyoomi could see it. He could see the setter's hesitation through the screen. He could sense the delicate fingers of the omega, shaking as they struggle to press each letter. He knows that this is the hardest for Atsumu. So he waits patiently, he doesn't complain. He has no right to. It's his fault, so he has no right to. 

He waits until Atsumu finally supplies him with a reply. 

Unknown number: as their father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, some cases of ptsd are caused by relationship related events like breakups. If I supplied the wrong information about anything, please don't hesitate to tell me, I'm younger than you think haha
> 
> Next chapter is gonna be 👀
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chap, see you in the next! 💞✨
> 
> Ps: i only wrote Flashback because I still don't know how to italicize text here in ao3. I don't know how to edit sofnswjejjshhehd
> 
> Stay safe guys!


	8. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids meet their father, knowing the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrong grammars ahead, please pretend like they don't exist haha

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Sakusa-san."

Kiyoomi's eyes widened. It's really Atsumu. He holds the phone tighter and brings it closer. It wasn't a prank. He wasn't lying. 

"A-Atsumu?" The alpha can't help but stutter. He still can't believe that it was the blond who reached out. 

"Now ya' believe me?" Atsumu asks, chuckling. Kiyoomi smiles at the short laugh. It's genuine, not forced and it takes him back to all those years ago.

Silence evaded as both of them tries to find to words to say. It's awkward. They haven't had a proper conversation (one without anger and all similar emotions) for five years. Kiyoomi then starts. "So, I'm finally getting introduced?" 

Atsumu sighs from the other side of the line. "Listen, I'm afraid that I can't give ya custody over them. But I'll let ya visit them anytime you want." 

"That's fine by me." Kiyoomi shrugs. He's happy already with that. These past few weeks, he tried his best to get custody over the kids but he was too blind to think that even just to spend time with them, it'll be enough. 

"So when do you want to be introduced?" 

"Anytime."

"You gotta be specific, Kiyoomi." Atsumu says. Kiyoomi's heart flutters at the fact that the setter called him by his first name. For once, he doesn't want to be called Sakusa. He doesn't want to be called that in that accent and that voice. 

"Depends on the availability of both parties."

"Formal as always. Loosen up willya'?" Atsumu rolls his eyes, and Kiyoomi can sense that. The alpha can also tell that by the tone of his voice, the omega has a faint smile on. 

Another round of silence. Kiyoomi starts once again, meaning to say this for a long time now.

"Atsumu, I'm so so-" 

"Don't apologize." Atsumu says with all seriousness, resulting in a sudden change of mood. "I don't want a shitty apology via call. If ya really mean it, say it t' me in person." 

Kiyoomi sighs. "Alright." He then shifts back to the topic of a personal meeting. "When can I visit?"

"Definitely not at weekends. We're goin' ta' Tokyo by then."

"Then why don't you visit me instead?"

"No. I want when the twins find out, they're at my household." Atsumu says sternly. Of course, as a mother, he's over protective of his children. 

Another sigh from the alpha. "We're half day on Friday. I can travel by the afternoon and arrive by night. I can also send you to Tokyo the next day." 

"That won't be necessary-"

"I insist." Kiyoomi insists stubbornly. 

Atsumu huffs, knowing that the alpha is equally as stubborn as he is. "Aight', I'm gonna be coachin' by the afternoon anyways." 

"So it's settled?" 

"See you then." 

"Right." Kiyoomi says awkwardly as Atsumu hangs the call.

Everything is just so sudden to the raven right now. He didn't expect to be called regarding that matter right now. But it's either all or nothing, so he has to make the most of it. 

\---

[Three couples and a single bitch] 

Me: Good evening. I need help

Koko: Oya?? What is it now omi?? 

Me: Who gave atsumu my contact? 

Koko: wait

Sunshine boi☀️: wait

A pussy: wait... 

Idiot: wait. 

Moonsalt🌙: wait,

Jiji 🦉: wait... 

Me: you guys aren't helping, I hope you know that

Jiji 🦉: he called? 

Me: he texted first, then he called

A pussy: you're kidding, right? 

Me: do i look like the type to joke about this? 

A pussy: oh boy

A pussy: did he yell at you? 

Sunshine boi☀️: was he angry? 

Idiot: forget angry, was he furious?? 

Me: let me explain first, okay? 

Moonsalt🌙: then go, no one's stopping you

Me: he wasn't angry, he was strangely calm

Me: he told me he'll introduce me to the kids

Me: as their father

Me: i know he won't do that without a valid reason, so im wondering what's in his mind? 

Moonsalt🌙: knowing atsumu, something' s definitely off

Koko: its alright!!! 

Koko: be happy that tsum tsum finally aknoledges you as their father! 

Koko: *acknoledjes

Koko: *acknoledges

Koko: uhmm, keiji, how do u spell that?

Jiji 🦉: its 'acknowledges', kou

Koko: oh, right!

Koko: whatever ji said 🥰

Me: I don't know

Me: it just doesn't feel right

A pussy: goddamnit omi, do u want it or not? 

Sunshine boi☀️: it's now or never!!! 

Jiji 🦉: this might be your only chance

Jiji 🦉: make the most out of it

Me: okay okay

Me: but nobody answered me

Me: who gave atsumu my contact? 

Sunshine boi☀️: not me

Idiot: not me

A pussy: not me

Moonsalt🌙: definitely not me.

Koko: i would but he never asked me!!! 😀

Jiji 🦉: in conclusion, no one

Me: are you sure it's not you Keiji? 

Jiji 🦉: affirmative. 

Me: then who? 

Idiot: who else has your contact? 

Idiot: Im assuming it won't be hard to trace due to the fact that you don't like sharing your personal info to others unless necessary 

Koko: ... 

A pussy: ... 

Moonsalt🌙: wow

Moonsalt🌙: the king actually grew some brains

Idiot: why is it surprising? it's common sense

Idiot: you should know better tsukki

Idiot: guess I'm not the idiot anymore 😐🙂

Moonsalt🌙: why you... 

Sunshine boi☀️: that's my hubby!!! 💗

Moonsalt🌙: ew

Moonsalt🌙: what r u, a boomer lady? 

Moonsalt🌙: ur rlly kou's disciple

Moonsalt🌙: u both like bragging about your husbands 

A pussy: I would definitely love an omega like that!!! 

A pussy: chibi chan, wanna get married? 👀

Sunshine boi☀️: I don't see why not kuroo-san 👀

Moonsalt🌙: Tetsurou, im locking u outside of the house

A pussy: jealous, sweetheart? 😉

Moonsalt🌙: say goodbye to ur precious yuka and tomohito, bitch 

Me: by the way, where's tomo-chan, Kei? 

Moonsalt🌙: oh, he's with niichan. 

Moonsalt🌙: We're busy and can't find a babysitter, also niichan always wanted kids, so he insisted on taking care of tomo for the time being

Me: ah, I see

Idiot: say goodbye to shino and hiroyo too, sho

Me: once again, you are reminding me of how pathetically lonely I am

Koko: what r u waiting for??? Go to ur kids, don't be a coward!!! 

Me: don't call me a coward

A pussy: then do it

A pussy: oh and kei honey, please let me in yuka's room, I deserve to be with my daughter too

Moonsalt🌙: dont you dare 'kei' me, im still mad at u

A pussy: ah, the rare times when my kei gets jealous 😌💅

Moonsalt🌙: ... 

[Moonsalt🌙 kicked A pussy from the group] 

Koko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Koko: THAT'S WHAT U GET FOR EATING MY PIZZA

Jiji 🦉: Kou, he isn't here anymore

Koko: oh

Koko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: nobody's still telling me who gave atsumu my contact

Idiot: does that even matter? 

Idiot: you can ask atsumu-san anyways when u see him, right? 

Sunshine boi☀️: sometimes I hate how tobio's either 100% logical, or 100% an idiot

Idiot: shut up boke, I'm still mad at u

Sunshine boi☀️: well, at least u aren't taking the kids away

Sunshine boi☀️: hiro and shino's with me in shino's room haha try getting them from me

Idiot: I just went to the kitchen to get some milk, don't lock me out

Sunshine boi☀️: don't worry bakageyama, im not completely heartless like tsukki 🙂

Moonsalt🌙: istg someone's gonna get kicked again

Koko: hey!!! U didn't create the group, I did

Idiot: therefore u can't kick anyone 😐

Moonsalt🌙: I did it to my own husband, I can do it to u 🙂

Koko: oh shit true.

Jiji 🦉: it's really annoying how this gc that was supposed to help Sakusa-san, got filled with all your shenanigans 

Me: that's alright keiji, there's nothing we can do about idiots

Sunshine boi☀️: why u always gotta be so blunt omi

Sunshine boi☀️: Atsumu-san would've mock u for that nonstop if he were here

Idiot: SHOUYOU

Koko: SHO AKDJFCJSNDNASJS

Jiji 🦉: Shouyou... 

Moonsalt🌙: HINATA

Sunshine boi☀️: im a kageyama, kuroo 😐

Sunshine boi☀️: wait

Sunshine boi☀️: OMI-SAN IM SORRY DKFNCNFJWHEJ

Me: ... 

Jiji 🦉: sakusa-san ???

Me: it's alright. 

Me: anyways, it's my fault why he's not here anymore

Me: but i will do my best to get him back

Koko: we all love a determined omi 😀

Sunshine boi☀️: go omi!!! 

Moonsalt🌙: cringe

Jiji 🦉: kei I have massive respect for you but if all you're gonna do is make fun of people then you might as well join your husband 🙂

Idiot: keiji-san, wow 🤯

Sunshine boi☀️: TSUKKI HAHAHAHA

Koko: woah darling, calm down

Moonsalt🌙: that was... 

Moonsalt🌙: skeri

\---

Eyes on the road, hands on the steering wheel but his mind is wandering far, far away from the car.

Kiyoomi traveling to Sendai now, heart rate increases by every kilometre he covers. He wonder what the reaction of the kids will be once they find out. He wonders how he'll face the blond when he arrives, and how can he make it not awkward for the both of them. He wonders about what'll happen next. How will the children approach him after all this? How will Atsumu act around him? All those questions echo in his head as he tries his best to focus on the road.

Once he arrived, he took a deep breath a raised his hand to knock on the door. His actions halts when he hears Osamu and Atsumu talking on the other side. 

"Are ya sure about this now?" 

"Goddamnit Samu', ya were the one told me so too!" 

"Alright, alright don't panic." Osamu calms his brother down, who was already panicking. "I never thought ya would listen t' me, though." He mumbled softly. 

Atsumu sighs. "Yeah, 'M sure. N' besides, even if I change my mind, Omi's already on the way, so it's useless." 

'It's bad to eavesdrop'. Kiyoomi reminds himself as he gathers the courage to knock on the door. The gentle knock was enough to make the twins jump in surprise. 

The door opened to reveal Osamu. Kiyoomi's eyes widen. This is going to be awkward. 

As Osamu opens his mouth to start, the spiker bows. "I'm sorry for my arrogance and lack of discipline back then."

"No, it's alright. I have a fault as well. You do have a point, you are the biological father so I guess it's time to hand the role to you." Osamu waves off and finishes with a small smile. Atsumu appears from beside his brother. 

Kiyoomi's eyes travel to him, and he is caught in the act. They spend a few seconds staring at each other, both not knowing how to break eye contact. Luckily, Osamu senses the tension, so he clears his throat, catching the attention of the two. 

"I'm goin' ta' fetch the kids so ya can talk things out." 

Scratch that. Unluckily. 

"Are ya sure? Those two can be a handful." Atsumu asks, desperate to not be left alone with the raven spiker. His brother eyes him.

'Yes I am Tsumu. Work thing out with Sakusa-san.'

'This is awkward!!!' 

'It was your decision, right?' 

Atsumu huffs. They barely exchanged a word, the conversation carried by each other's stare. Twin telepathy is truly horrying. 

"Alright. Take care." The blond sighs as his brother leaves with a smile, excusing himself to Kiyoomi as well. Once Osamu was out of sight, another staring contest happens between the omega and the alpha. 

Kiyoomi can see hesitation in Atsumu's eyes. He doesn't miss how his Adam's apple moves when he gulps. These are all signs of uncertainty. Concerned, he asked. "Are you sure this is okay for you? This introduction can wait when you're ready." 

"No, no. I insist. It's now or never." The blond shrugs, but the hesitation doesn't leave his eyes. 

The alpha keeps looking at those amber orbs. It reminds him of... Home. It's surprising that even after five years, the homely presence of Atsumu still calms him. The latter stares back, and then they engage in another neverending eye to eye contact. 

"Are... We jus' gonna stand 'ere?" Atsumu starts, chuckling as he hopes it would lessen the awkward tension between them. "Come in." He invites warmly.

Kiyoomi nods and follows, taking his shoes off the genkan. He takes a look around the humble apartment. It was small, but it still has the same homely presence as the setter. It was just like any other apartment, the only difference was the pictures hanging by the wall. 

A few picture frames meet his eye time to time. Mostly of Atsumu and the kids. He spots one where they were having a picnic by the lake. And then he finds a picture of the Inarizaki alumni with their kids (including Osamu and Rin's). Other pictures vary and Kiyoomi has mixed emotions about this. It's heartwarming to see these pictures but in the same time, it's kind of painful to be reminded that he wasn't there for their first five years. He mentally slaps himself. Now's the time to redeem himself. 

Atsumu leads the spiker to the living room. Albeit small, it was cozy. With a few navy blue pillows by the cream couch, and even some of the kids' story books and toys were scattered around. The setter seems to take notice that the spiker was eyeing the small mess, so he rushes. "Ahh, I'm sorry for the mess! I was s'pposed to clean that but I just arrived from practice as well." 

"It's alright. I understand how busy you are. Besides, they are children. It's totally tolerable." Kiyoomi simply says. Atsumu eyes him for any signs of discomfort. After finding none, he continues to put all the toys away. 

It was always the blond who starts the conversation. There's no difference between those five years ago, and right now. So Kiyoomi changes it, he starts once he sees the setter is less focused on his tidying. "So, are we doing it right after they arrive?" 

"No. I intend to let them have their dinner and bath first. They might get too distracted too do their routines later." Atsumu says, arranging the pillows on the couch opposite of the spiker. Once all is done, he sits down on the said couch. "Is that okay with you? Or you have to go back to Tokyo immediately..." 

"That's fine. You might've forgotten, but I promised to take you to Tokyo tomorrow." 

"Alright then." Atsumu nods, looking away. He can't make eye contact with the taller. There's just so much he's feeling right now, that he's overwhelmed. Kiyoomi notices that the omega has something to say, so he doesn't attempt to start another conversation and patiently waits for Atsumu to start. 

"I'm sorry for keeping them from you. You do have the right to your own children." Atsumu starts, still not bothering to look at the alpha in the eye. Kiyoomi does not supply a response. 

The blond sighs. "I totally get it. It's okay if you ignored my apolo-" 

"I'm ignoring it because you have nothing to apologize for. If anyone is at fault, then it's me." The raven says bluntly. Then, an apologetic look takes over his emotionless face. "I left you, I said I wanted nothing to do with the children. I was selfish. If I thought I would've had a hard time raising them back then, then I should've thought about you. About how harder it is for you." 

Silence again. 

"I considered what you said. If I made a girl pregnant, then I would've panicked and left her alone until I calmed down. But..." Atsumu starts hesitantly, looking down. 

"What is it?" 

The omega finally looks at Kiyoomi straight in the eye, pain staining his amber orbs. "...But what hurt me is that you didn't bother to look for me even after you've calmed down." 

Kiyoomi freezes. All the guilt comes pouring down. He then remembers his reason back then. This time, it was him who avoids eye contact as the guilt continuously pours like a never ending rain shower. "I'm sorry. I'm so, sorry. I didn't put thought into starting a family that time. So when I calmed down, my volleyball career was all that was in my mind. I... I forgot about you. I was selfish." 

Another round of silence enters for the nth time tonight. No one dared to talk until Kiyoomi thinks that it's time to supply a good reason for why he suddenly came back. He takes a deep breath. 

"Before that night on your heat when I didn't use protection, my parents wanted to meet up. When I did, they won't shut up about having grandkids and me having a spouse. They even told me they'd set me up on dinner dates and an arranged marriage with omegas who seem suitable for me. But they knew very well that I focused on my career. Before I was selfish, they were selfish first. So I talked back at them and they got angry. Haven't exchanged a word with them ever since."

Atsumu's eyes widen at this. The fact that Kiyoomi hasn't spoke to his parents for more than five years is shocking. 

"I never thought about starting a family until two years ago, at a Jackal's family party where all family members of the players were invited. Seeing Shouyou and Koutarou happy with their partners and children kind of made me feel empty and incomplete. I then thought about you and I instantly regretted what I did. I thought that you aborted the kids. Funny though, because at that party I also realized that I was falling f-"

The doorbell rings, cutting the alpha off. Atsumu then smiles, suddenly forgetting about their conversation as he is excited to see his kids. "Ah, it must be 'Samu."

He stands up to open the door and in came dashing Osamu and two lively children. They run to Atsumu with wide smiles plastered on their faces and shout in unison. "Mamaaaa!"

The omega crouches down to hug both kids. Osamu clears his throat. "There's someone else here kids." 

Both children turn their head to scan around. Eventually, their eyes land on Kiyoomi. "Sakusa-san!" Sumi beams, getting more enthusiastic than she already is. A full toothy grin plastered in her face as she approaches her father. Kitsu follows with a faint smile. 

"What are you doing here, Sakusa-san?" Kitsu asks, cocking his head in curiosity. 

"That's erm..." Kiyoomi starts, looking for an excuse. "That's a surprise." He states as he flashes as small smile. The children ask questions to the spiker as he answers them all. 

Meanwhile, the older set of twins watch the father-children bonding. Osamu then starts to ask. "So r' ya gonna tell me what ya talked about earlier?"

"No. I have to make sure he doesn't take the kids away from me!" Atsumu pouts, seeing how close the children are to Kiyoomi. Osamu laughs at this. "M' gonna check da' Sendai branch. I'll see ya in Tokyo tomorrow?"

The blond turns to his brother and gives a smile. "Yeah sure. Thanks."

"Tell me all about it, kay?"

"Bossy."

"Shut up, asshole." Osamu rolls his eyes, a smile stained on his lips as he leaves.

Once Osamu left, the omega felt a specific type of pressure. Now, it's him, his kids and Kiyoomi. Basically, their whole family. He feels all these butterflies. Maybe it's because what Dr. Shikida says is correct. Maybe his brain really is craving to be satisfied by the view of Kiyoomi bonding with their kids. All the pressure is replaced with a smirk of victory. First step to closure, done.

He approaches his kids and their father, with his genuine smile that he only wears towards them (the kids, that is). "Hey kids, I have something very important to tell ya later. But ya hafta bath and eat dinner first, alright?" 

As if she wasn't excited enough, Sumi beams. "I love surprises!" She turns to her brother. "C'mon Kitsu, let's bath now so we can help mama with dinner!" 

Kitsu only nods with a faint smile. Although he doesn't really act like it, he's really happy when his sister is happy. It's a twin thing. 

\---

While Atsumu was assisting the twins in their bath, Kiyoomi went through a photo album of the kids that the blond gave him. Afterwards, Kitsu helped his mother in the kitchen, and Sumi accompanies her father as she shows him more of their pictures in their Ipad. The four of them ate dinner happily while the kids tell their parents about their day. 

Kiyoomi felt very happy. So this is what it's like to have a family? Albeit small, Atsumu's apartment is so lively, unlike the alpha's own lonely one. So this is what his teammates feel, this is the very reason why they're so excited to go home everyday after practice. Again, Kiyoomi can imagine going home and being greeted by two lively children. It must be nice. He smiles at his imagination. 

Now in their pajamas, (a cute pink duster dress for Sumi and a blue pair of cotton pants and long sleeves for Kitsu) the kids hop on the couch opposite to their parents as they made themselves comfortable. Sumi reaches for a couch pillow in the design of a volleyball and hugs it. "What do you want to tell us, mama?" 

Atsumu is hesitant. He doesn't know how to break the news to them nor does he have a clear view of how they will react. But it had to be done. Kiyoomi, who was beside him, has a stoic expression on, but deep inside, he's panicking. With the same thoughts as the omega, it was impossible to not overthink the situation. 

Atsumu clears his throat to prevent stuttering. "Uh, kids..."

"Hmm? What is it mama?" Kitsu asks as he brings his feet up, not wanting contact with the lower part of the couch because 'whatever is closer to the floor is dirty'.

The setter takes a deep breath before initiating. "Remember when you asked about your father?"

"That was around three years ago but yes." Kitsu states specifically. Kiyoomi is only surprised at his memory for a five year old. This is not a trait that any of his parents have.

"You told us he was dead." Sumi says, cocking her head, showing her confusion. She doesn't know what her mother is going on about.

"Well about that..." Atsumu starts, looking away as he grips his thighs in a death hold, his knuckles turning white. He gulps. "I lied."

The mood then changes. Kiyoomi observes the children's reactions at this. The excitement in Sumi's eyes fade away, as well as all evidences of her good mood. It was replaced with the emotionless look that Kiyoomi saw back then at the park. Kitsu's expression however doesn't wander. Even before the blond spoke, his face was hard to read, no emotion evident at all. Same goes to after the revelation. The alpha assumes that the little raven inherited it from him. He knows very well that Kitsu is feeling mixed emotions about this.

"Well then." Kitsu starts because his sister cannot. "Are you going to tell us where he is now?"

"I do intend so." Atsumu replies, trying his best to mask the nervousness and keep himself composed in front of his kids and ex alpha. But Kiyoomi can see through him. In fact, Kiyoomi can see through everyone in the room. He can see through Atsumu because of the time they had together back then, and he can see through the kids because well, they're his kids.

"Where is he then?" Kitsu asks, Kiyoomi can sense the impatience in his son.

"Actually..." This is it, Atsumu tells himself. The pressure right now is overwhelming and definitely not suited for someone is emotionally a wreck. He's never felt this overwhelmed ever since that day where he told Kiyoomi he was pregnant. The day where he lost almost everything, and if it wasn't for the kids, he would've lost his will to live.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Once he exhales, he opens his eyes, eyelashes fluttering to reveal beautiful brown orbs with a terrified expression written on its pupils. "He's right beside me."

Emotion floods back into Sumi's face. Her eyebrows scrunches as she processed everything the setter told her. With disbelief in her eyes, she turns to Kiyoomi. "... Sakusa-san?"

Kitsu stays silent, keeping his composure. Kiyoomi knows that deep inside, he's overwhelmed by the truth revealed to them five years after they were born. Still, he stubbornly keeps his pokerface. Stubborn like both parents, ay?

Nonetheless, both heads turn to the alpha. Kiyoomi copies his son. He keeps a stoic expression on his face as he nods. "That's the truth."

"Mama... You lied." Sumi says amidst the silence. Her face still holds immense confusion and even... Pain. 

"Yes, I know." Atsumu responds quietly. Almost quiet enough to be a whisper but loud enough to be heard in the quiet room. 

"All you do to us is lie."

Although silent, Atsumu freezes. That was the most hurtful thing he heard his child say. It deepens the crack on his heart. This is not good for him, for his condition. This reminds him of the most painful words he heard, and that was Kiyoomi's back then. The scene from five years ago plays over and over his head, refusing to stop. He closes his eyes and does all he can to not have a breakdown in front of his kids, who he reminds everyday to be strong. 

"Saku-" Sumi starts but stops, remembering the recent revelation. "-Papa... Where were you?"

"I-"

"I'm not finished. Let me finish. Papa, where were you all this time when mama was suffering?" Sumi says strictly, the increasing pain evident in her little doll face. Kitsu just watches his sister, not knowing what exactly to do. 

"Sumi, you don't understa-" Atsumu tries to defend the alpha beside him but his daughter cut him off just like how she cut Kiyoomi off. This rebellious trait was inherited from the blond himself.

"What don't I understand? What don't me and Kitsu understand? The fact we've been feeling jealous of the other children for having both parents?"

"Sumi, li-"

"How about you mama, do you know the feeling of endless days, thinking of 'what if I had a father' when your very own father is in front of you, playing in the TV screen while your mother is trying to be strong for you?" Sumi says again, voice a bit more stained with pain.

"Su-"

"Did you know that me and Kitsu feel stupid right now? We feel stupid for believing our father was dead when we just met him personally three months ago?"

"Sumi, Listen. You're too young to understand." Atsumu says strictly, raising his voice a bit. That was enough to make the ravenette flinch. And then silence. No one dared to speak and no one dared to look at one another. Immeasurable guilt forming in both Kiyoomi and Atsumu, and a tsunami of sadness and pain hitting Sumi and Kitsu.

It wasn't till Sumi spoke up. But the only difference from her arguing with Atsumu earlier and now is that her voice cracks, shaky and fragile just like the five year old kid she is. This makes both parents turn to her, only to find tears forming at her eyes and then falling down her rosy cheeks. Kitsu still says silently as his eyes scan from his sister, to his parents in front of him and vice versa. With all the courage left in her, Sumi finally says.

"We might be too young to understand, but did you ever think that we are old enough to feel the pain?"

She says all while sobbing. Now, the guilt both the alpha and the omega feel could be the death of them. With the two frozen, Sumi puts her pillow away and gets down from the couch, an endless river of tears fall as they stain the floor. She runs to she and her brother's bedroom, not daring to look back.

This is silence's nth visit for tonight as the three try to process what happened. They made the only girl in the family, their princess, cry. And you know how bad it is if a man makes a girl cry, much more, the man is her family member. 

Everyone's got negative feelings right now, but Atsumu has it worst. He swore to protect the children ever since the day they were born. He swore to never make them cry, and he swore that he would spoil them with happiness and love. But what did he do? He lied just because he was angry at the alpha. Osamu and Dr. Shikida were right. It did hurt them now they know the truth. Some mother he is. 

Slowly, Kitsu carefully gets off. He starts to walk in the direction of their room, all without showing his face to his parents. Once he was about to leave the living room, Atsumu decides to reach out for him. He can't lose Kitsu like he lost Sumi. 

"K-Kitsu... Where are you going?" 

The little raven halts by the doorway. He turns to look at Atsumu and Kiyoomi. They both see something that makes their eyes widen in shock. 

Quietly, tears stream down his face from his half lidded fox eyes. He looks disappointed, betrayed, sad and... Tired. He looks tired of everything. "I'm going to comfort my sister." 

Kitsu isn't the type to let emotions out. Just like Kiyoomi. For a five year old, he is very mature, knowing how to keep everything to himself and to mask all feelings with a stoic face that's oh so similar to his father's. So to see him cry confirms how bad the two messed up. He wipes his eyes, choking on a small sob before he composes himself once more and heads to where his sister is. 

Once Kitsu was out of sight, Atsumu buries his head on his palms, his hands pulling on his blond hair. He's weak. Why did he lie? He regrets that. He knew very well that there will be a time that Kiyoomi will appear once again in their lives, so why did he lie about him? Why did he lie about so many things? Why they he try to keep them from him when it is clearly written in the stars that he and the alpha would collide again?

"Ah shit. I messed up. I failed as a mother." He says, frustrated with himself. 

Kiyoomi on the other hand, is still in shock. The regrets keep piling up. He thinks that Atsumu has no fault. Even if he lied, there is a reason behind that. The spiker puts the blame on himself. He deserves to be hated on, and he'll accept how long his children need to heal. He'll accept how long Atsumu needs to heal. He's left them for so long, so karma is finally working its wonders. 

The setter is now a mess, so just like how Atsumu tried to reach out for him five years ago, Kiyoomi does the same.

"Atsumu..."

"Don't touch me." Atsumu says strictly upon seeing the hand that was reaching out for him. He turns to the alpha to reveal his eyes watering. 

Kiyoomi sighs but again, he'll accept how long Atsumu needs to heal.

He'll wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. I had a very severe case of the writer's block lmao. I can't even draw art bcz mostly my writer's block and art block had to f me at the same time.
> 
> Im sorry if this chapter is not what you expected. You expected happy things but surprise surprise! Haha. I'm still experiencing writer's block so updates might be slower. I hope y'all understand ♥️
> 
> Thanks for reading! Stay safe and see you in the next chapter 💗


	9. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoomi tries to fix things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shmao we're at 3k hits epxkejsjwbssb holy duck how did this happen
> 
> Anyways, I have something important to say at the end notes. But for now, please enjoy this chapter (idk but I'm either soft or cringing at myself for writing this)
> 
> Please ignore typos and grammatical errors! Haha

Kiyoomi hears crying. He follows the direction of the sound, hoping to find who he was looking for. Once he was sure that the source was at the other side of the door in front of him, he raises a trembling hand and lightly knocks.

On the other side, the knocking drowns in the sound of weeping. The sobs were too loud, that their little ears couldn't catch the gentle knocks. The alpha sighs as he lightly turns the doorknob. Seeing as it wasn't locked, he opens it, inviting himself in.

The room is small but comfy, with two beds. One on the right, and one on the left as a nightstand separates them. It has everything an ordinary room has, a closet, a small study table, and even a toy box. This must be the twins' room. His hypothesis is confirmed once he spots the two children, hugging each other tightly and sobbing at the bed on the left. His heart breaks to see them like this, and the fact that he caused this breaks him more. 

He approached both of them carefully. Once the footsteps were heard, both heads turn to look at him, but no one says a word. Kitsu then starts, his hand threading in Sumi's ebony black curls, as his other arm hugged her tightly. "I still remember our talk at Tokyo." 

Kiyoomi knows that Kitsu is directing this to him because although watery, his brown eyes were brave enough to meet Kiyoomi's dark, stormy ones. The alpha sits on the bedside and Kitsu immediately gets the message of the action. Kiyoomi wants him to continue, because he's listening. 

"You told us about how you were supposed to have kids." 

Ah. Kiyoomi now remembers. All of the sudden, he regrets saying that. 

"I connected the pieces. I assumed you were our father a long time ago." Kitsu says, as Kiyoomi freezes. 

This child... His intelligence and thinking ability is far beyond average. The spiker says nothing, a sign for his son to continue. So Kitsu does so. "The fact that you said they were our age, and you even said 'they', meaning that your child wasn't a 'child', but rather 'children'." 

Should Kiyoomi be proud of having a smart kid? Or should he be nervous that the boy in front of him can find the truth behind ambiguous hints? The little fox continues after a short invasion of silence. "It would be too coincidental if we met a stranger who looks a lot like us, and who has the same personality as me."

Okay, both of them really have the same personality. They're both intelligent, awfully blunt and very stoic. Kitsu's appearance however is heavily influenced by the Miya side. 

"Is that why you didn't talk earlier? Because it wasn't a shock?" 

"No. Even though I thought of it, I never expected it to be real, that's why I cried. I was in shock. But I didn't talk because I didn't want mama to feel guilty. He doesn't deserve it." He explains as he continue to stroke his sister's hair. He looks at his sister, she's now sleeping. She sniffs from time to time, but she's still sleeping. "Sumi doesn't want to make mama feel bad too, but sometimes she can't control her emotions. If she's angry, she'll shout, if she's sad, she'll cry, if she's happy, she'll smile. She's just like any other kid." 

"So... You aren't?" 

"Everyone thinks I'm weird. They say I 'over analyze' things. They say it a lot, that I learned the meaning of 'analyze'. They also think I'm not human, because I don't express much emotion." 

Kiyoomi had the same past too. Kids his age back then would call him weird and say he's an alien because of his ability to think and stoicism. If you include his mysophobia and flexibility, that's a plus. He was treated like an outcast. Until eventually, he found a way to use both odd traits to his advantage. The bullying stopped, and he was able to make friends. He was respected on, and then his reputation started growing. 

Silence doesn't stop interluding as Kitsu wipes Sumi's tears away, still holding her tight. It's must be a Miya thing, because Osamu does that to Atsumu a lot, even until now. Kiyoomi cherishes the fact that his son was open to him, even amidst the bitter and negative feelings he had towards his father. 

Kitsu speaks again. "You pushed mama away."

The alpha was in shock of what the younger said. He can't deny it though, it's the ugly truth. "Yes I did." He sighs.

"Sakusa-san, don't you want us?"

It wasn't Kitsu who spoke, and that fact makes Kiyoomi freeze, his head turns to the little girl, who woke up. She looks weak and sounds weak, her voice hoarse. "I know we're accidental but do you really not want us? Yuka was accidental too but uncle Tetsu saw her as a blessing, not an accident." 

Kiyoomi was taken aback by this. It breaks his heart that the kids only see themselves as accidents. Again, Kitsu stays silent. The alpha observes that in situations like this, only one will speak for the both of them. 

"Sumi I'm sorry. I really am." 

"Just answer my question Sakusa-san, it isn't that hard. I don't want a sorry." Sumi snaps, but she's not angry, she's dejected. 

"I didn't want you back then." 

Kiyoomi says bluntly because he has no idea how to say it in any other way. Sumi and Kitsu freeze at this. 

"But you two weren't accidents to me. You were a way to bring me back to Atsumu, and to bring him back to me. And because I realized that, I not only do I want you, because I need you. I need you to show me how to love." Kiyoomi continues. 

The kids were taken aback by this. Because of shock, both didn't dare to talk, so Kiyoomi starts again. He isn't one to talk much about himself, but he needs to now. Because the kids need to know what he truly feels. That's what families do, right? They open up their hearts for each other. 

"Younger me despised the idea of loving someone. How much touching there is, and how everything you say has to be sugar-coated. I grew up believing that I can love, but not a person. I can love, but it has to be something, a hobby or some sort. So I believe that I can content by only loving volleyball." The alpha stares in the distance, letting all his feelings pour out.

"I thought I was happy with where I am right now: a well known spiker that plays for one of the most powerful teams in Japan. But even I, an intelligent person, is not always right. Seeing your uncle Kou, your uncle Shou, and everyone else around me having someone to love - be it a significant other or children - , made me realize that love isn't limited to the things you do. Love needs to be a person as well. Because us human beings were made to share and express feelings to one another, that's why human love surpasses all other types of love."

He then turns to his children, the two kids he first loves. "That's why you two shouldn't be afraid to open your heart to someone, just reserve a lot of self love for yourselves." 

He ends all with a smile. So this is what it's like to advice your own kids? It's beautiful. It's beautiful because you unlock a part of yourself that you never knew, and that your kids, who are from you, witnesses it with you. The two only nod obediently, very much interested in what their father told them. 

Kitsu then asks. "Do you love mama, papa?" 

Kiyoomi's heart flutters at the feeling of being called papa again. But he pushes the thought aside as he needs to answer the little raven. "If you ask me that five years ago, then no. That was because I still religiously believed that volleyball is the only thing I can love. But now, I realized that my heart is his. Not only because he gave me you two, but because looking back that what we had back then, he was the only person who looked at me like that. He was one of the only people who respected my mysophobia. He was the only one who made me feel like loving a person isn't meaningless. He's shown me what it means to do so."

Once again, he lets an advice slip. "Kids, once you grow older, make sure the people who you give your hearts to are the people who'll show you what love truly is. The ones who'll inspire you to do so." 

The two nod again, interest not leaving their brown eyes. They then smile, forgetting their tears a while ago. 

"I wasn't wrong. You really make a great father, Sakusa-san." Kitsu says, wearing a genuine smile that's not different from Atsumu's. 

"Then can I be your father now?" He asks. 

Sumi gleams as she thinks of a condition. "Send us to sleep first. Mama usually tucks us in but..." 

"Understandable." Kiyoomi nods, knowing what his daughter meant. 

"Can you sleep with us? If you don't mind..." Sumi asks hesitantly again, looking away shyly. 

"Now that's too much to ask, Sumi." Kitsu scolds. 

"It's alright. I will. But can we fit?" Kiyoomi chuckles. 

"Of course! Sometimes, when we can't sleep, the three of us sleep in either mine or Kitsu's bed. It's a bit tight, but the company is worth it." The ravenette grins sweetly. 

"You do know that I'm bigger than your mother." Kiyoomi chuckles again. "But sure, I will sleep with you." 

He then climbs on the bed as the twins make space. With Sumi on the right, and Kitsu on the left. They lie on the alpha's arms, using his chest as a pillow. Kiyoomi then proceeds to thread his hair in Sumi's curls, imitating what Kitsu did a while ago. The little girl relaxes at this, happy to finally feel the tender touch of a father. 

"Kitsu, is it okay if I stroke your hair?" He asks, concerned that his son might not like the idea because of his inherited mysophobia. But he really wants to feel his hair, the hair that is a mix of his own and Atsumu's. 

"It's alright. I trust you enough to know that you're clean." Kitsu smiles as he does the same gesture to his son. 

Again, Kiyoomi feels warm inside. He feels so happy, like his heart is gonna burst. His mysophobia wasn't triggered, because this tidal wave of joy washes away all his anxious thoughts that were written in the sand. He pulls them closer as he cherishes their warmth. Maybe he should've listened to his parents. He feels awfully guilty for pushing them away too, but he shakes the thought off, his number one priority right now is Atsumu and their kids. 

"Papa, I'm sorry for what I said earlier." Sumi says weakly.

"Shh, it's alright. I understand why you did that. Don't blame yourself, you were confused." Kiyoomi hushes. 

"What can I do to make it up to you?" 

"You don't need to do anything for me, but you should apologize to your mama. He's got it bad." 

"Do you think he'll forgive me?" 

"A mother will never stay mad at their children." 

"Okay. I will first thing in the morning." Sumi says with a smile as she closes her eyes. "Good night papa." 

"Good night you two." Kiyoomi smiles back. 

Silence took the spotlight again, but this time, it was void of tension. It was comfortable and it puts Kiyoomi to ease. 

"Papa... Please end mama's suffering." Kitsu says hesitantly. "If it isn't too much to ask..." 

"I will, I promise. I'll make us one whole family, okay? Trust me." Kiyoomi says with determination. He can't afford to lose them, he can't afford loose Atsumu again. 

"Thank you. Good night." Kitsu relaxes as his hodded eyes close. 

Kiyoomi promises. And this time, he makes sure that his promises weren't made to be broken. His eyes flutter shut, as he falls asleep with a smile. 

\---

Black eyelashes flutter open, revealing dark stormy eyes. Strangely enough, he was the only one in the bed. He tried roaming his arms in both sides, trying to look for the twins. Once he found no sign of the two kids, he panics. He decided to look around. The room was different, it was larger and same goes with the bed. It's dark all around, but he can see the table and closet opposite to the bed, basked in the moonlight that shone through the window behind him. The said moonlight was the only source of light. This clearly isn't the kid's room. Kiyoomi has no idea where he is. 

He then hears humming by his left. For the first time since he woke up, he turns his head in the stated direction. His eyes meet a specific blonde, standing in front a crib. Atsumu carefully carries two little bundles of joy, one at each arm. 

Atsumu looks ethereal, basked in the moonlight. His blond hair shimmering like gold and his brown eyes shine in adoration as he looks at the babies. Kiyoomi wants to reach out that badly, so he does. He does what he failed to do a long time ago. 

Kiyoomi gets up quietly and approaches the omega. He takes Atsumu by surprise when he wraps his arms around the latter's waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. Atsumu stops humming as he feels the presence of his alpha. "Did I wake ya?" 

"No." Kiyoomi replies drowsily as he plants a kiss on the setter's neck. "Keep singing." 

"Yer such a baby Omi-omi. Too bad I'll be raisin' three children." Atsumu giggles and to the alpha, it was music to his ears. 

"Oh shut up." Kiyoomi rolls his eyes but Atsumu continues to hum. Kiyoomi looks to the babies in his omega's arms. They look a few days old. Maybe around three weeks? The alpha isn't sure.

Atsumu then eyes a curl that sticks out at one of the babies' forehead. His eyes soften more. "Look Omi! Sumi's got your curls."

The baby on Atsumu's left is the little girl, Sumi. Her hair that just started growing is identical to Kiyoomi's. He then eyes the other baby on the right, who must be Kitsu. His hair isn't close to how curly his sister's is, so it must be a combination of both his parents' hair.

"I hate ya. Genetics really went in one direction." Atsumu pouts. Kiyoomi laughs at this.

"You're a dumbass. A blind one. Look, they have your face." The alpha says as-a-matter-of-factly as he nuzzles his head on the crook of his lover's neck. 

"Hmph, but still." The pout doesn't leave the omega's face.

"They even have your brown eyes. You clearly have the advantage here." Kiyoomi says.

"Ya think so Omi? Well what if they inherit yer fear of germs? Poor me will have to clean the house almost everytime!" Atsumu says, imitating a dramatic whine that wasn't loud enough to wake their kids.

"I like the sound of that." Kiyoomi smirks as he looks at his omega at the eye with a challenging look.

"Kiyoomi!" Atsumu whines as Kiyoomi laughs wholeheartedly. "I hope they don't get your assholery." 

"Now that I can't assure you." Atsumu says as they both laugh together. It makes Kiyoomi's heart do flips as he feels awfully giddy. 

The omega goes back to humming as the taller cherishes the sound. He then nibbles on the older's ear and makes his way down to his neck, placing tender kisses. He holds Atsumu tighter, bringing him closer, wanting more of his warmth. His mouth goes back to his ear as he whispers gently. "I love you."

"I love you more." Atsumu filters out his accent as he turns to look at his alpha. He places a small kiss on his lips.

\---

"Papa!" The voice of a little girl calls out, making Kiyoomi open his eyes. In front of him stood two worried children. His mind then wanders to his and Atsumu's kiss as realization struck him bitterly. He was dreaming. It was a dream.

Kiyoomi frowns. It was a dream. 

But then his thoughts were cut off as Sumi grabs his attention. "Papa! You're awake!" She jumps to hug him. The alpha can sense the worry in his daughter.

"Yes, I'm awake now. What's the matter?" He asks with concern, stroking the expanse of her small back in an attempt to calm her down. Kitsu is on the bed as well but he's zoned out.

"We can't find mama!" Sumi hurries.

The spiker tenses. He then tries to calm himself down so that it won't make the ravenette more anxious than she already is. "Isn't he at his room?"

"No! Me and Kitsu woke up at his room but he's not there!"

"Did you try looking for him?"

"We went straight here after we woke up, thinking that he would be here but he isn't!" Sumi's panic increases by each passing second.

"Let's look around, shall we?" Kiyoomi says, getting up. It was only till then that he realized that he didn't bath last night. He cringes at the thought of that but pushes it aside, as the kids really need his help. 

He himself is worried that Atsumu isn't at any of the bedrooms. It's so early, the sun is only starting to rise. Must be around 5:30? Kiyoomi isn't sure. He exits the room with the kids behind him. 

Once his feet meet the hallway, darkness stretches across it, connecting to the other parts of the unit. The lack of light signifies that no one else is awake. It's either Atsumu went out late last night and isn't back yet, or he's just sleeping somewhere else in the apartment. He turns to the children. "Did any of you check around the apartment?" 

They both shook their heads. "Like Sumi said, we went to you immediately. We can't reach any light switches so we can't look around either if it's this dark." Kitsu explains. 

"Alright. I'll open the light switches, just tell me where they are." The alpha commands as his kids follow. 

They started with the kitchen, the switch was behind a painting of a red fox. Kiyoomi remembers this painting back at Atsumu's old apartment five years ago. The blond told him his parents gave it to him when he moved out, to make his new living space more 'homely'. He also mentioned that Osamu has a matching one, with a white fox at his home back in Tokyo, also given by their parents. 

They looked around and tried calling the omega's name, no luck. They then tried to knock at the bathroom, hoping that he was just taking a bath or tending to nature's call. But no sign. They check the other parts of the apartment and they finally come across the living room. 

"Where's the switch here?" Kiyoomi asks. The kids frown together. 

"We don't know where the switch is here. We've never seen mama open the lights here." Kitsu explains.

Kiyoomi sighs. "Okay, I'll look for it."

"Kitsu, I'm thirsty. Help me get some water." Sumi tugs on her brother's shirt.

"Fine fine, but don't touch me!" The little raven scolds. He then turns to his father. "Papa, please look for mama, I'm going to go with Sumi for a while."

Kiyoomi complies with an 'okay' as the kids leave for the kitchen.

The alpha looks around. His eyesight isn't that sharp, but with the help of the sky turning a little lighter, he could at least see the shape of the furniture around. He applied sanitizer first before dragging his hands around the walls, trying to navigate the switch. His hand sneaks under a painting when-

Bingo. 

He turns the switch on and the living room lights up. As his hand retreats, he caught a glimpse of a paper falling down from the back of the painting. It lands on the house plant just below the painting. Upon closer inspection, Kiyoomi recognizes the piece as a photo, the actual picture is facing back as it is tangled in the leaves. The alpha picks it up out of curiosity, once the picture meets his eye, he cant help but feel his heart crack. 

It was a picture of him and Atsumu, back at the blond's MSBY days. He was posing with a peace sign and his tongue out, beside the very uninterested spiker. Kiyoomi had not a single hint of emotion in his face, just the usual glare.

Nostalgia fills his senses. It was as if it was only yesterday that Atsumu was still happy and carefree. He was still unproblematic and void of responsibilities. He was wild, just like the piss color of his bleached hair back in high school. But if you compare Atsumu from five years ago to the Atsumu now, it's almost as if his whole being has been replaced. The blond now is tired, problematic and is only holding on because of his kids. Atsumu is still handsome, Kiyoomi will admit that, but almost everytime he looks into his brown eyes, it always has some sort of sadness. 

Kiyoomi feels responsible for all of it. 

To prevent the guilt from pouring any further, he puts the picture back behind the painting and looks around the living room. His internal hypothesis from a while ago is proven correct as he spot a big lump on the couch, covered by a green blanket. 

He crouches down and slowly lifts the blanket up. Yes, the omega is there, sleeping peacefully as his soft snores meet Kiyoomi's ear. He would've looked peaceful if it wasn't for the red puffy eyes that the alpha quickly notices. 

He's been crying. 

Atsumu now isn't the Atsumu he was five years ago. He would never cry nor show any emotion that signifies weakness. He was always prideful and narcissistic. He never shows that he's tired and he's always up for the challenge. But everything the alpha sees in the sleeping blond right now contradicts that free spirit attitude of his.

Kiyoomi wants to card a hand in between those golden locks. But he doesn't, in fear that Atsumu hasn't took a bath yet. He can't be sure of that right? So to silence his thoughts, he leans a little closer and sniffs his hair. Surely enough, it smells like the same coconut oil shampoo the setter uses. That was one of the only things that never changed in the span of five years, the shampoo. 

Now he is sure that the blond already has his bath last night, Kiyoomi applies some sanitizer on his hands before threading them into Atsumu's hair. The hair hasn't changed at all either. The dye might have a teensy little shift in shade, but his hair is still soft. Most bleached hairs are usually rough due to the chemical, but Atsumu's hair is just a bit special. 

Kiyoomi continues stroking his hair gently. He missed doing this. It was a habit for him to do this during their after sex cuddles. He knows that this eases the blond, just like how it eases their children. 

Atsumu's brows furrow as he let's out a small whimper. "Don't leave..." 

Kiyoomi, a bit taken aback by this, leans in to whisper. "I won't anymore. I promise." 

"Omi..." The omega calls out unconsciously. It must be another dream (or nightmare rather) caused by his PTSD. 

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere." Kiyoomi hushes as he leans in to press a kiss on his forehead. "I'm sorry."

Kiyoomi continues doing this comforting action for a few minutes, just treasuring the view in front of him. After he started stroking his hair, Atsumu became more relaxed and peaceful.

It wasn't until the blond slowly opened his eyes. "Om-- Sakusa-san?"

The raven wants to scold him. He wants to say 'I miss that nickname, call me that again', but he doesn't. Because he knows that Atsumu needs time to heal and he'll gladly wait until he says that meaningful nickname again.

"Why are you sleeping here, Atsumu?" Kiyoomi asks gently, his hand not leaving his hair.

"Why are ya still here?" Atsumu throws a question back. 

"Answer me first. The twins were worried sick about you." Concern fills the spiker's face. 

The omega sighs in defeat. "I transferred the twins t' my room so ya can sleep more spaciously. I figured that they didn't want t' see me so I slept here." 

"And why would you think that they didn't want see you?" The spiker's brows furrow in confusion. 

"Doncha' remember last night? 'M sure they're still angry at me. 't's alright, I deserve it." Atsumu looks away, not wanting to make eye contact. 

"You don't need to worry about that. We talked it out." Kiyoomi assures, with a more gentle tone. 

"I figured. They look so happy with ya." Atsumu starts. "But you talked it out with 'em, not me. They might not be angry at ya, but they might still be at me." He then informs, emphasising the first 'you'. 

"No, Atsu-"

"Mama!!!" Sumi came rushing as she buries her head on top of the green blanket. "Mama I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said all those things last night-"

This alarmed Atsumu as he sits up, making Kiyoomi retreat his hand. He then proceeds to stroke his daughter's head. "Don't apologize, ya did what any confused little girl would do. Don't blame yourself."

Sumi looks up to the omega, tears threatening to spill as she hurriedly climbs up the couch to hug her mother. "No! I was a bad girl!" She sobs.

Atsumu holds his daughter tightly and wipes the tears away. He lets her cry on his shirt. "Shh, it's alright. Mama will forgive ya'." He hushes. 

"Mama..." Kitsu calls out from behind Kiyoomi. The mother-daughter duo looks at the little raven. His eyes widens before they water. "I'm sorry too..."

The boy approaches the couch as Atsumu lifts him up to join his sister. Now, they were both sobbing into their mother's chest as the blond assured them that everything is going to be alright. He says the words so gently, that Kiyoomi's heart flutters. 

A mother will never stay mad at their children. 

And the children will never stay mad at their mother. 

That's just how a family is, right? 

\---

After eating breakfast and the spiker finishing his bath, they proceed to get ready for heading to Tokyo. Atsumu will be coaching at the afternoon, Kiyoomi asked permission to his coach if he could be absent during the morning, to which the coach complies. 

Kiyoomi is surprised by the fact that Atsumu never noticed that the light miraculously turned on when he woke up. Or... He already knows but is just not mentioning it to avoid the extra embarrassment. He's been blushing a lot lately and the alpha can't put his nose onto the reason why. 

They are now at the car, Kiyoomi drives while Atsumu and the twins are at the back seat, with the blond in the middle to prevent bickering about things like 'Hey, you have a lot more space, move will ya!' or 'I want to sit next to mama! (insert whiney voice). Despite all that happened, Atsumu never spoke a word during the whole ride. 

The trip is about four to five hours, and in the second hour, Atsumu and Kitsu were fast asleep, with Sumi humming to some music provided by the car. The silence was confortable, soft snores and the humming of a little girl, Kiyoomi couldn't ask for something more relaxing and calming. 

Soon, raindrops go pitter patter as they delicately hit the windshield. The tender rain then becomes not so tender anymore, as it grows stronger. Sumi giggles from behind. "Ohhhh! It's raining!" She says in awe. 

"Do you like rain?" Kiyoomi asks. 

"Yes I do! It's so relaxing! But Kitsu doesn't." Sumi explains with a grin. 

"Why?"

"Because rains lead to storms and he hates storms."

"Do you hate storms?" Kiyoomi asks once more.

"Not at all." The ravenette shakes her head. "In fact, I think storms are great!"

"Oho, and why is that?" The alpha asks, entertained by his daughter's enthusiasm.

"Because there is always a rainbow after the storm!" Sumi singsongs as a giggle follows. 

Kiyoomi smiles. He knows that the little girl also meant something else in what she said. After defeating the darkness, there will be light. After pain, there will be hope. After everything that seems wrong, something will finally be right. She knows this, because of everything that happened. After all the pain of not having a father, she finally has one.

It wasn't long till the temperature got lower. He could hear Atsumu groan in his sleep because of the chill. Because of the mirror, Kiyoomi could see the omega hold his son tighter, as the little boy is not also good at handling the cold.

"Sumi, can you check if there's an umbrella there?"

The little girl complies immediately. She scurries around, looking for the item before eventually finding it. "I found it!" She hands it to the spiker. Kiyoomi thanks his daughter, as he parks the car and exits it, heading for the trunk. He opens it and finds what he was looking for. 

After closing the trunk, he heads to the second row, where two boys are sleeping and a very energetic young girl bounces around. "Sumi, here are some blankets. It might help with the cold."

The ravenette beams, thanking the alpha as she chooses a red blanket to wrap herself in. Kiyoomi goes to the other side of the car so he can tuck his son in. He wraps an orange blanket around the sleeping raven. He only chuckles when the little boy talks in his sleep with furrowed brows, a habit he got from his mother. "...Is this clean?" 

"Yes it is. Sleep well." Kiyoomi responds, patting his head. He then puts a light blue blanket around Atsumu, one with penguins embroidered on it. 

In order words, Kiyoomi's favourite blanket. 

"You sleep well too." The alpha smiles. 

\---  
Atsumu wakes up as he felt something warm around him, this makes him alerted, as the material wasn't on him once he fell asleep. 

"This is..." He starts, interrupted by a yawn. "Soft..." 

His hands meet the colorful fabric as he wakes up to both twins bickering about something. 

"Next time papa visits, we go to the mall!" 

"No, that's not a very clean choice. Papa also hates dirty things so consider what he wants too!" 

"If ya think about it this way, everywhere is in one way, dirty! I thought you were the smarter one!" 

"You actually thought of me as the smarter one?" Kitsu smirks. 

"Kitsu baka, shut up!" Sumi yells back, her face growing red from frustration caused by her brother."

"Sumi, yer mouth." Atsumu scolds at his daughter's use of 'shut up'. 

"Hngh? You say that to uncle 'Samsam almost all the time!" The ravenette reasons out resulting a laugh from Kiyoomi, who is still driving. "Look how the tables turned, Miya." 

"Oh, Omi-omi, shut yer trap!" 

Kiyoomi laughs again at this until he realizes something. 

The nickname. Omi-omi. 

Atsumu covers his mouth, turning all red at this. The children seem to catch up to this behaviour. 

"Omi-omi? Is that your nickname for papa?" Kitsu asks, tilting his head to take a closer view on his mother's flustered face. 

"That's so cute!" Sumi as always, beams as she ignores all the awkward tension that spread around. 

"It's nothin' kids, don't mind it." The blond smiles while the spiker frowns at this. As the gods heard Atsumu's prayers, they finally reached their destination. Onigiri Miya, Tokyo branch.

"We're here!" The omega rushes, intentionally changing the topic. "Are you ready to see your uncle 'Samu and mama Rin again?"

The two nodded enthusiastically as they waved goodbye to Kiyoomi, getting off the car with Atsumu's assistance.

He doesn't want to see them go, not yet at least. He's been away for five years and he feels like it's only right for him to stay by their side. But then again, rainbows aren't permanent. Their colors fade into the blue of the neverending sky, as many wish to see those vibrant and brilliant again. And then, another storm will arrive.

"Thank you for everything, Sakusa-san." Atsumu says with a smile that isn't forced. Kiyoomi can see the gratitude in the curve of his lips.

Kiyoomi will have to wait. Maybe one day, Atsumu will finally be proud to say his nickname again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's thlee, I have something very important to say. As much as it pains me, I'll be putting this story on hold. I'm sorry to everyone who looks forward to the next chapter, but a lot of shit has caught up with me lately. I promise, I'll do my best to update, even if it takes a month or two! If you really enjoy the story, please consider sharing it to people who might be interested (idk, maybe I'll be more motivated to continue once I achieve a bigger audience). Once again, my sincerest apologies. I hope you'll all be safe, especially amidst this pandemic. Drink water, get enough sleep and eat well! Thanks for reading and until next time, see you in the next chapter.


	10. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoomi sees their memories in their children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY HEY!!! i'm back guys! But we'll get to that later at the end notes. Right now, let's get into the next chapter!!! 
> 
> ps this is all unedited. beware of grammatical errors nyehehe

[Three couples and a single bitch]

Koko: Soooooo

Koko: how'd it go??? 👀

Sunshine boi☀️: Yeah omi, how'd it go!!?? 😃

Moonsalt🌙: I too am curious

Me: wait,,,, you're talking to me?

Moonsalt🌙: who else dumbass?

Me: I thought they were asking about how things went with you and tetsu and if you have any plan in adding him again in this gc

Me: but then you asked the same question and I got confused

Moonsalt🌙: first of all

Moonsalt🌙: things are clear. That was only a joke

Moonsalt🌙: but I'm still not adding him

Idiot: you've gotta be kidding, right?

Moonsalt🌙: shut up king

Sunshine boi☀️: tsukki that's mean!!!

Sunshine boi☀️: add him back :(((

Moonsalt🌙: so he can flirt with u?

Moonsalt🌙: no thank you

Sunshine boi☀️: wot

Sunshine boi☀️: I THOT U KNOW THAT THAT WAS ONLY A JOKE

Koko: thot

Idiot: thot

Me: thot

Jiji 🦉: thot

Sunshine boi☀️: Keiji-san??? U too?? 😭

Jiji 🦉: sorry sho, i thot it was funny

Jiji 🦉: see what I did there

Koko: JI AHEJDIDDNXNDIDHDHD

Idiot: I don't keyboard smash but

Idiot: sodcjsbeuddhdeofne

Idiot: what the fuck keiji-san actually thot of a joke

Idiot: see what I did there (2)

Sunshine boi☀️: I KNEW U WERE A GOOD FOR NOTHING HUSBANF

Idiot: literally shut up

Idiot: boke I gave u beautiful kids

Sunshine boi☀️: UHM

Sunshine boi☀️: IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND???

Sunshine boi☀️: I CARRIED THOSE KIDS FOR 9 MONTJS EACH???

Me: hinata don't type in caps

Me: it makes my head ache

Sunshine boi☀️: IT'S NO MY FAULT OMI

Sunshine boi☀️: YOU AIN'T THE ONE WITH A GOOD FOR NOTHING HUSBAND

Me: I don't have a husband 😃

Idiot: oh my

Jiji 🦉: gracious dear...

Koko: that's uhh..

Idiot: boke u should stop blindly insulting omi every five seconds

Moonsalt🌙: thot

Moonsalt🌙: it's tetsu, Kei is busy with yuka so imma add myself nyehehe

[Moonsalt🌙 added Kuroo Tetsurou]

Moonsalt🌙: anyways omi, how'd it go? 👀

Me: oh back to that

Me: I can't really explain it, a lot happened

Moonsalt🌙: and here I thought u were smart

Sunshine boi☀️: that's insulting, kuroo-san

Moonsalt🌙: oh chibi-chan, such hypocrisy 😖

Kuroo Tetsurou: Tetsu you fucker

Moonsalt🌙: well

Moonsalt🌙: i fucked you 🤷♂️

Koko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sunshine boi☀️: HAHAHCKDNXDJX

Idiot: how's it like getting a taste of your own medicine, tsukki?

Jiji 🦉: this is mildly inappropriate but it's still funny

Me: oh dear, how tragic 😥

Kuroo Tetsurou: sakusa-san

Kuroo Tetsurou: how dare u use my own tactics against me

Me: reverse uno card, bitch

Jiji 🦉: Sakusa-san, are u gonna tell us?

Me: It's hard to picture you impatient, Keiji

Jiji 🦉: you have to hurry before the topic drowns in more bullshit

Jiji 🦉: especially now that Tetsurou-san is back

Idiot: keiji-san, you're lucky he's inactive

Koko: he's inactive now?

Sunshine boi☀️: idk, tsukki's prolly giving him a beating rn

Koko: holy shit, i feel sorry for the cat

Koko: it made me forget I was still angry at him 😥

Me: it's been two weeks, you're still angry at him?

Koko: he didn't say sorry!!!

Me: wow

Jiji🦉: the topic is drowning now!!!

Me: Koutarou, who told u u can influence keiji into the redundant exclamation point assholery?

Jiji🦉: STOP CHANGING THE TOPIC SAKUSA-SAN, I'M REALLY IMPATIENT, CURIOSITY IS KILLING ME

Sunshine boi☀️: woAh

Koko: Ji, calm down

Idiot: I've seen keiji-san lose his cool more times in this gc than in my one-and-a-half-decade friendship with him

Jiji🦉: I apologize for the sudden rude behavior but

Jiji🦉: Sakusa-san, are you gonna start or what? I have a twelve page chapter to be due in four days from now

Me: HAHAHAAHA

Me: sorry, it's just funny seeing you pissed like this Keiji

Me: but alright, i guess i should then

Kiyoomi spends the next fifteen minutes discussing what went down back in Sendai. Add another thirty for the never ending questions and queries that come from four dumbasses and two masterminds.

Moonsalt🌙: wow

Moonsalt🌙: I'm surprised you managed to turn the situation upside down

Idiot: what makes that surprising, Kei?

Sunshine boi☀️: Yeah, it's actually common sense that omisan is smarter than you

Idiot: oh, and he knows how to grasp any situation, unlike you

Moonsalt🌙: you two are the most bothersome couple I have ever come across

Sunshine boi☀️: at least we went to the olympics together 🙂

Koko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Uhm, that's gotta hurt

Kuroo Tetsurou: ngl babe but you actually deserved that ❤️

Moonsalt🌙: you two...

[Moonsalt🌙 changed Sunshine boi☀️'s nickname to Boke]

[Moonsalt🌙 changed Idiot's nickname to Baka]

Moonsalt🌙: there, a matching couple

Baka: hey, no one calls shou boke except for me 😑

Boke: ara ara? But I thought you said nicknames were childish, tsukki 😚

Moonsalt🌙: I literally cannot tolerate any of you

[Moonsalt🌙 has left the chat]

Kuroo Tetsurou: BABEEEEEE

Koko: wow, he really did apply the rule that he can remove anyone

Koko: he took it so seriously that he removed himself

Koko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jiji 🦉: kou, all u've done in this gc is laugh

Koko: oh, cmon ji, you love my laugh 🥺👉👈

Jiji🦉: that discussion is saved for another day

Koko: 😊

Me: what just happened

\---

A knock on the front door echoes in the walls of the blonde's apartment. Atsumu's head turns as his intellectual light bulb lights up. It must be the onigiri he ordered for dinner. He quietly makes his way to the door, putting on his brightest smile due to the thought of not seeing Osamu's face while delivering for once.

He thought of the perfect greeting as he opens the door. "Yer here! Thanks fer the delive-"

"I am here, but I'm not the delivery." A monotone voice interrupts him, which he quickly recognizes.

"Ry." Atsumu finishes as the cheer in his voice diminishes. "Wait, Sakusa-san what are ya doin' here?"

"It's Friday evening, I'm visiting."

"I know that!" The omega snaps, but lowers his voice immediately. "But what about the agreement? I thought we were s'pposed to meet up at Tokyo tomorrow?"

Ah yes, the agreement. It's Hiroyo's second birthday and her parents invited the blond and the raven (along with their kids) to the party to be held tomorrow. Atsumu complied, so he took a day off from his other job. As for the Jackals, the coach let them have a day off too, as he understands how important this day is to Shoyou.

But for Kiyoomi to travel to Sendai the night before, that was not part of the agreement.

Atsumu sighs. Again, knowing how stubborn the younger in front of him is, he lets it slide just like how a mature senpai would. "Come in."

Even if his face is covered by the mask, the setter can tell that Kiyoomi is smiling because of the crinkles that form on the corner of his eyes.

"It's nice to see you again, Tsumu." Kiyoomi says with all genuineness as he takes his shoes off the genkan. Atsumu halts as the familiar feeling of butterflies. The feeling he felt all those years back. It tempts him to fall in love with the spiker all over again. The feeling he shouldn't be feeling especially if he's chasing after closure.

"Likewise." He turns to the alpha and gives a nervous smile.

"So where are the kids?" Kiyoomi asks, his mask now removed as he follows Atsumu at the hallway.

"Oh, they're at the living room, watchin' a horror movie Kitsu suggested as a 'test of courage'." Atsumu puts two fingers up on each hand, imitating quotation as he rolls his eyes at the last three words. He knows that these tests of courage that Sumi will usually accept, end up with the ravenette clutching on the blonde's shirt and crying. It reminds him of himself, always accepting challenges he can't beat. He's starting to worry that the kids might grow up to be him, or worse, they might be more of an asshole than he is.

Kiyoomi laughs at this. He then catches up to the older so they are now walking side to side. "May I see them?"

Atsumu nods. "Sure. Jus' make sure not to scare 'em." The alpha lets a smile slip at this as he makes his way to the living room, the omega following him.

The living room is dark tonight, the lights are closed and the curtains are down. The only light is being supplied by the flat screen television in the very middle, playing Anabelle Comes Home. Kiyoomi remembers watching the movie with Motoya. He remembers how the brunet would hide under the blanket at almost the whole movie while Kiyoomi himself would not at the slightest, flinch at any jumpscare. It wasn't even scary, compared to the Amityville movie that made him shiver for an endless amount of nights.

If Kiyoomi could remember, the scene playing is the one followed by a jumpscare. Kind of like the calm before the storm. It was where the main character, the babysitter was looking all around the living room for Anabelle, only to be followed by the said doll appearing beneath the couch.

Meanwhile, in front of the TV, is a couch where two children sat, clutching at each other, overwhelmed by anticipation, fear and nervousness. Everything around is quiet, only the shaking and gulps could be heard. Kiyoomi sneaks in, careful not to make any noise than can cut the kids out of their concentration on the film being played. He reaches the back of the sofa successfully, waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal himself.

The mc in the show is now approaching the couch slowly, Kiyoomi can feel the increasing nervousness in his twins as they hold on to each other tighter. The mc looks around until she decides to check underneath it.

"Oh dear." Atsumu whispers to himself as he observes the alpha's actions from the doorway. He has a vague idea of what's about to go down. "That motherfuc-"

"Boo."

Kiyoomi says, syncing with the jumpscare as it appears on the screen. A high pitched scream was heard from the little girl and the little boy had a scream of his own, as he failed to surpress it.

The two kids literally jumped out of the couch, Sumi falling off and landing on her butt as Kitsu tried his best to not do the same, therefore remaining on the couch. Atsumu, who saw the whole scene, faceplams himself as Kiyoomi laughs out loud. The blond sighs as he opens the light switch to the room.

"Papa!" Sumi gets up, whipping her head up in the direction of the alpha, rubbing her ass from the impact. "What was that?!"

Kiyoomi laughs even more. At this point Kitsu has stopped shaking, his eyes now throwing daggers at his father. He then looks down the couch to where his sister is. The two make eye contact, fire burning in their eyes. Kitsu starts. "Sumi?"

Sumi nods. This was one of the rare times where their thoughts get along.

The spiker was still laughing his ass off when two pillows made contact with his face, and a weight makes him fall.

Make that, two weights.

While Kiyoomi was distracted, Kitsu helped his sister up the couch as they arm themselves with pillows, and together, they jumped off the couch, onto their poor father, attacking him. Which leads to where they are now, Kiyoomi flat on the floor as his children continuously attack him with pillows.

He could easily defeat one, but two? Double trouble. He silently asks the gods why Atsumu had to give birth to twins.

He did nothing but laugh as he was hit. The kids are also laughing along with him. They are literally on the floor and Atsumu wonders what has become of Kiyoomi's and Kitsu's mysophobia.

"Hold-" Kiyoomi starts in between laughs, only to be cut off by a pillow on his face. "-on. Hear me ou-"

"I could've had a heart attack!" Sumi dramatically reasons out. The ravenette has the tendency to be as dramatic as her mother.

"Papa, you deserve this!" Kitsu bites as he hits him harder with the pillow. And Kiyoomi is sure that he's very out of character tonight, because this is the longest he's laughed. The reactions of both kids still replaying on his head, dragging out new batches of laughs after the other.

"I'm sorry-" The alpha tries his best at an apology, only for it to be cut off once more by the hard impact of the soft pillow. "Hey! Are you going to sto-"

"Nope! This is fun hehe." Sumi giggles. "Even Kitsu thinks so."

"Only right now. Besides, you let your guard down." Kitsu rolls his eyes but still smiles nonetheless, hitting his father once more. Kiyoomi smirks. It's time to do the secret thing he's best at.

Without warning, he tackles both kids down, doing it gently as to not injure them, and he starts to tickle them with flexible fingers, the pillows abandoned on the wooden floor. Both kids laugh as they try their best to ask for their father to stop, but no voice comes out of either mouth.

"Ha! Now who is it that let their guards down?" He uses his son's words as a comeback, accompanied by a tint of sass and an smile that never fades.

Atsumu still watches, afraid of ruining their bonding (even if their so called 'bonding' is not what he had in store). He watches in awe. He's never seen the spiker this lively outside of games nor practices before. Or maybe Kiyoomi himself has only experienced this now? With every stage of life you arrive at, you really change for better or for worse, huh? As for Kiyoomi, who just became a father, he changed for the better. The kids really helped him discover a part of him that he thought was never there. Maybe Atsumu's decision was really the right one. Giving Kiyoomi a chance made the blond see a new side to raven. It's a bit new, but seeing him laugh and smile his brightest is heartwarming. The fuzzy feeling of the tenderness of loving returns as it reminds him of how loving Kiyoomi feels like.

But he shouldn't be loving him anymore.

At least, that's what the omega thinks.

"Wait... We're on the floor! Dirty!" Kitsu panics once they calmed down. His sister rolls her eyes and Kiyoomi chuckles at this as the blond finally makes an appearance. He approaches them and picks the little boy up.

"Mama don't carry me, you'll get dirty too!" Kitsu rushes. Unfortunately for him, his request was denied as he is now being carried up.

"Shh, it's alright. If it helps, your uncle 'Samu makes me sleep in the floor sometimes." Atsumu assures jokingly, stroking his son's ebony black waves to calm him.

"That doesn't help at all! And I didn't need to know that!" The little raven pouts as Atsumu laughs. By this time, Kiyoomi is already up and is helping their daughter off the ground.

"I want a bath! Now!" Kitsu commands, his panic not settling down.

"I'm sorry Kitsu, but can ya maybe wait for yer father to have a bath first? He's also panickin' in the inside after ya both brought 'im down." Atsumu bargains, looking at Kiyoomi. The alpha in the other hand, sees himself in the little boy clutching the blond's shirt. He sees the same worrisome kid he was twenty-five years ago.

"No no no! Dirty!" Kitsu insists, his calm and stoic composure now gone. For once, he finally acts like how he's supposed to act: the younger between him and Sumi.

"Kitsuuu, papa only doesn't visit much! Ya have to let him!" Sumi scolds, as she holds on to Kiyoomi's pants.

"Shh, it's alright." The spiker lifts the little girl up. Once his daughter is comfortable in his arms, he approaches Atsumu and the other child. He turns to the omega. "Atsumu, I'll bath him."

"Do ya even know how to do that?" Atsumu raises a brow and exhibits a face of disbelief. He's sure that the man in front of him has zero experience with kids.

"I hope you didn't forget how I used to bath you when you're too exhausted after your heats." Kiyoomi retorts plainly, but Atsumu swears he can catch a tint of tease in his voice. The setter's face reddens and Kiyoomi smirks at how flustered the former looks like. The kids look at their mother to their father and vice versa.

Kitsu then starts, breaking the awkward silence (only awkward for Atsumu, because Kiyoomi's enjoying it). "Papa used to bath-"

"Well, if you say so Sakusa-san! I hope ya take care of him and wash him properly!" Atsumu rushes, quick to alter the topic, and when the kids aren't looking, he gives a glare which only makes the alpha's smirk wider. The blond turns to his daughter. "Sumi, what do you want to do to kill time?"

"Puzzles!" Sumi beams and Atsumu chuckles at this. "Alright."

The kids were put down and exchanged. Kitsu goes with his father to the bathroom for a bath and Sumi goes to their bedroom with her mother to retrieve her puzzles.

Kiyoomi helps his son at the tub as he puts the bath bombs at the water. He remembers Sumi rambling on how it creates these pink bubbles that mesmerizes both kids. It will make a good distraction, so Kitsu's anxious thoughts about germs and dirt and whatnot would disperse.

It did work, as the little boy eyes the bubbles and tries his best to catch them all. No matter how composed or disciplined they are, kids will be kids.

Kiyoomi proceeds apply soap and shampoo to his son, and in all honesty, it brings some sort of nostalgia. It was like nothing has ever changed. He was still bathing Atsumu, but the only difference is that the blond is in a kid's body. Kitsu does look a lot like Atsumu and Osamu when they were kids. Kiyoomi knows this because the omega would show him their childhood photos back then.

He remembers how Atsumu would stay quiet when the raven would assist him. The latter doesn't know if it's because he's exhausted from their preceding activity, or because he knows his pride would be affected once people learn that he is incapable of cleaning himself after heat. Whatever the reason, any kind of silence between them inside the four walls of Atsumu's previous apartment is rather comfortable.

Again, Kitsu is no different. He stays quiet for the majority of the bath. He isn't bothered by the thoughts brought to him by his germaphobia, nor is he distracted by the lively pink bubbles. Kiyoomi thinks that but maybe, just maybe, the little fox is still adjusting to this sudden change. The change of suddenly having a father.

As he was reminiscing about Atsumu, he remembers something, and an idea forms in his head. Upon applying shampoo, he threads his slim fingers in his son's hair, massaging it gently. He remembers how the omega was and still is, weak to the gesture.

Kitsu is just a mini Atsumu with Kiyoomi's personality. The alpha can confirm this as a pleased sigh escapes from the little boy's mouth. "More to the left please."

Kiyoomi complies as he continues to massage his scalp. He smiles as he feels his son get less tensed and more relaxed into the hands of the spiker. It brings him back to five years ago.

\---

"You're shaking."

"Huh?"

Atsumu asks, acting like he doesn't notice himself trembling. They are lying on the bed, just finished with their bath. His back is turned to the alpha, a bit guilty about what has happened a while ago.

Scratch 'a bit'. That's a lot of guilty.

"What's on your mind?" Kiyoomi asks.

"Uh. Nothin'." Atsumu dismisses with a chuckle, he tried to make it not sound awkward, but that as well failed.

What was on Atsumu's mind? It was the thought of sin. His parents would be so disappointed at him once they find out that he submitted himself to an alpha that he wasn't in a proper relationship yet. He can imagine being compared to Osamu, who fell in love with Rintarou, his omega, when they were just high school. Osamu only assisted Rin with his heats once they graduated.

Although the blond would flirt around, it's his first time with the raven. He's only tended to his sexual needs, and mostly his heat, through touching himself. But the real thing makes him feel like a mess, mixed emotions spiralling inside his being. He feels very much pleasured, but at the same time, he also feels an insane amount of guilt.

His parents wouldn't want their son's first relationship having the label of 'fuck buddies'.

But alas, the desire to be touched by the alpha was to much, it over poured his cup to the extent where he needed to steal the alpha's jacket, leading to where they are right now. Clearly it's just an infatuation. It isn't love.

It isn't love.

Yet.

He wanted to scold himself for being this dirty. Why can't he fall inlove without submitting himself first? Why did lust catch him before love ever could? So what will Kiyoomi think of him? What will Osamu think of him? What will his parents think of him? A slut? A whore?

His thoughts were cut off when Kiyoomi spoons him, hugging him from behind. Atsumu feels the warmth, and for a split second he wonders, 'is this what the lucky omegas experience?'. He leans in, wanting to feel warmer. There was no lust nor sexual desire here, only affection.

"Are you feeling better?"

Atsumu didn't respond. The question reminded him of his worries a while ago, and it all came flooding in, like a dam, breaking.

Not long after the silence that comes after the question, a hand cards through golden locks. Slender, pale fingers massage the omega's scalp reassuringly. Atsumu was taken aback by this simple gesture, but he relaxes in it anyways, exhaling a hum of satisfaction. It wasn't until the thought occurred to him.

He pulls away, turning to Kiyoomi. "Is... Is this all okay with you?" Atsumu asks, remembering the germaphobia of the younger. Surely he doesn't want to touch him, right? Is he doing it because he's supposed to? Is he secretly uncomf-

"We've had sex a while ago and you're still asking me if this is okay?" Kiyoomi deadpans, his lips slightly turned upward, indicating a faint smile. "Stop worrying. Come here."

Hesitantly, Atsumu inches closer and closer until he feels the warmth of the alpha again. He buries his head at the gap between Kiyoomi's shoulder and collarbone, and the latter rests his chin on the top of the blonde's head. His hands make their way back to bleached hair, just as if they belong right there.

Atsumu feels comfort as his eyelashes flutter close. And with that, he falls asleep, all his worries, gone.

Maybe, just maybe, the guilt will fade away once he starts to fall inlove with Kiyoomi.

\---

When Kitsu was sure he was clean, Kiyoomi assisted him out of the tub, helping him wear his blue bathrobe. As they exit the bathroom, he walks Kitsu to their bedroom, where Atsumu watches their daughter finish the puzzle piece by piece, revealing the picture of a purple flower.

"Mama, I'm done!" Kitsu informs as he enters the room, Kiyoomi following behind him. The attention of the other two diverts from the puzzle, to the little boy in front of them.

"That's nice to hear." Atsumu smiles. "I prepared yer pajamas for tonight. Here, lemme help ya wear them."

The setter approaches his son and then turns to Kiyoomi. "Thanks for bathing him. Ya may take yer own bath. If ya want, I can prepare a bathrobe for ya."

"That's not necessary. I brought my own." The taller politely declines the offer.

"If ya say so. Come approach me when yer done so I can lead ya to yer room." The omega informs as Kiyoomi nods and leaves to take his own comforting bath.

\---

After Kiyoomi emerges from the bathroom in a bathrobe he brought from his apartment at Tokyo, he meets Atsumu in the halls.

"Ah! Yer finished. Follow me, this'll be yer room." The blond greets and Kiyoomi complies. They enter a room that isn't too small, but isn't too big either. It was enough to fit one person, just a typical room.

"There was another room in this unit but you slept on the couch last week?" Kiyoomi turns to Atsumu, raising his brow questioningly as visible confusion was stained on his face.

"The room was unclean back then. It had Samu and Rin's mixed scent. Bleh." Atsumu puts his tongue out, dramatically blurting out the 'bleh' as he cringed at the memory of hearing moans coming from the both of them in that room. He had to let the kids stay with Kei and Tetsurou back then, in order to protect their innocence.

Maybe he only hated it because it reminded him of what he used to have.

"Why would Rintarou-san have his heat here?" Kiyoomi asks.

"They were both visitin' the Sendai branch when his heat decided to fuck up their visit. Seems like his heat hates me too." Atsumu says, still cringing as Kiyoomi laughs. The blond raises a brow. Kiyoomi seems to be laughing more than usual.

"You still use profanities? That's a shock." Kiyoomi asks teasingly.

"Hey! I'm around the kids almost all the time, so obviously I can't swear in front of em'. But that doesn't mean I forgot how to do so." Atsumu pouts but continues his story anyways. "'Neways, They couldn't take the train, because of Rin's scent, plus Samu's rutting. The hotels around 'ere have no scent blockers either, so they had no choice but to tend to his heat here. Worst three days of my life." The omega finishes his ranting.

"Well, that happened a week n' a half before ya first visited. I cleaned it here thoroughly after ya left and even installed some scent blockers. Rest assured, no bed bugs will be crawling up on ya when ya sleep." Atsumu shows a proud smile.

"You clean now?" Kiyoomi mocks with a smug smirk.

"It's because of yer son!" Atsumu retorts and they both end up laughing.

"Our son." Kiyoomi corrects.

Atsumu can't help the small smile that creeps up on his pretty face, so he looks away. "Yeah... Our son."

Kiyoomi looks around and was surprised to see his bag neatly sitting at the table of the room. Atsumu tenses, knowing that the alpha doesn't trust anyone else touching in touching his stuff. "Ah! I wiped the strap before carryin' it and I even wore gloves jus' in case! I wiped the surface of the ta-"

"Thanks, Atsumu." Kiyoomi offers a small smile, cutting off the anxious blabbering of the older.

"No problem. Now go change." Atsumu orders before he leaves the room, closing the door shut.

\---

Once Kiyoomi is changed and ready for bed, he finds himself not quite sleeping despite it being around ten in the evening. Somehow, in the quiet of his room, his ears catch the melody of a guitar. He learns that the sound came from outside his room. Out of curiosity and inability to sleep, he goes out and walks to the source of the melody.

The lights on the halls were still open, meaning that not everyone is asleep, nonetheless, he is careful in his steps. He walks closer and closer as the music becomes louder and louder, until finds himself standing in front of the twin's room.

The door is opened, and he can see the kids in their respective beds. Sumi on the left and Kitsu on the right. Atsumu is sitting in between those beds, facing the kids with a guitar on his hands, as his voice accompanied with the correct plucking and chords create a soft lullaby that lulls both children to slumber.

"Let's go in the garden

You'll find something waiting.

Right there were you left it

Lying upside down."

He sings the words so softly that the alpha is in shock. Who knew that this brat's voice is so beautiful and harmonious? Who knew that under his asshole facade, he actually has some grace, only to show this side of him to the people he dears the most?

"When you'll finally find it,

You'll see how it's faded.

The under side is lighter

When you turn it around."

The fingers on his right hand delicately strum the strings, while the digits on the left press the strings in an attempt to create the chords needed in the song. He does it effortlessly. The transition is smooth and he presses the chords so firmly that no string is out of places.

Really, a setter's fingers are the best part of their bodies.

As his ears enjoy and treasure the melody being played, his mind catches a memory, another regret.

\---

"Omi-omi, will ya believe me if I say I play the guitar?" Atsumu smiles proudly. He finds another thing to brag about to the alpha.

"It's bad to show off something that you don't have, Miya."

"What?! It's true!" Atsumu whines.

"Highly doubt it." Kiyoomi returns to reading his book, dismissing the omega.

"Yer underestimating my fingers there. Y'know they filled me up before you can." Atsumu smirks, throwing an innuendo.

"You're utterly disgusting." Kiyoomi's nose scrunches up into a grimace.

"And yer utterly mean!" Another whine from the blond.

"Seriously, I can't imagine you and a guitar in the same image. You probably know how to destroy it, not play it." Kiyoomi says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Mean!" Atsumu pouts and turns away. He turns back to Kiyoomi to say something.

"One day, I'll play the guitar for ya and ya'll be asking for more! Hmph!"

\---

He really did underestimate the setter back then. It was another sign that he didn't take Atsumu seriously. Another wave of guilt hits him like cold water. Instead of dismissing him, he should've asked for the blond to play for him as proof. Only now he realized how his wasted his chance on hearing the beautiful songs that the omega can play.

"Everything stays,

right where you left it.

Everything stays,

but it still changes.

Every so slightly,

Daily and nightly,

In little ways,

When everything stays."

The song Atsumu plays has a strong message attached. Everything stays, but they still change nonetheless. Be it a week or five years, things will change inevitably.

But there are always exceptions. Somethings never change.

Atsumu looks like he's changed, but he's still the same setter Kiyoomi fell in love with.

But something that must've changed in the blond is his feelings towards the raven.

But then again, it's still there. Because everything stays.

Atsumu sings the second verse and Kiyoomi listens to it quietly, not revealing himself yet. It would be weird to be standing there without the shorter knowing, but he can't bring himself to interrupt the song.

Kitsu is now asleep, snuggled in his blanket. Sumi's almost in dreamland as she yawns, her black eyelashes fluttering to meet each other to hide her brown irises. Although before she can fall asleep, she catches a glimpse of her father by the doorway. She smiles before she closes her eyes, she says something. "Papa..."

Atsumu hears it, and once he was sure that the kids were asleep, he puts the guitar down and turns to find the alpha.

"You... You heard..." Atsumu mumbles under his breath, his accent filtered out. He avoids eye contact with the alpha. The latter still catches this though.

"I never knew you played."

"Ya did, but ya never believed me." Atsumu says quietly, almost inaudible. A bitter chuckle follows and again, Kiyoomi hears it all.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." Kiyoomi frowns. He can't deny the past no matter how much he regrets it. It is already written in history and he can't change back time. Even if he has all the money in the world, he still can't.

Atsumu shakes his head nervously, dismissing the apology. "No, that's alright. I don't blame ya for not believing me. No one believes asshole anyways." He smiles.

The alpha's brows furrow at this. "Miya-"

"I'm going to bed now. Please excuse me." Atsumu gathers his guitar and passes by the taller at the doorway. Once he was out of the room, he looks back at frozen spiker. "Ya should get some rest. Yer gonna drive tomorrow, right?"

Kiyoomi tries to call again, just so they can talk. "Ats-"

"Goodnight." The omega flashes a small smile. And with that, he left.

That smile was one of the masks Atsumu has perfected. But Kiyoomi can see right through him.

He can still see the sadness and pain in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back! It's me, thlee!!! so first of all, i deactivated both my anitwt and art acc, so ya wont find @/couchpotatoie on twt anymore haha. Second, i'll be updating real slow because i have to study + i am conflicted with all my errors here. I might plan on finding a beta and reediting this story (that includes putting this book down and starting over). Third, how do you add pictures here?? I sketched the twins plus yuka as 16 year-olds and i want to share them with you guys. Fourth, HOW DID WE REACH 5K HITS??!! Lmao y'all crazy! thankuuu dsvnkjafvnjkkdfvf
> 
> and lastly, how are y'all? have you guys been doing fine? Our classes have moved to oct 5 instead of the 24th of august so i have some time to write! I hope to hear from you guys! I missed y'all!


	11. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu meets people he lost contact with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo! More lovechildren introduced here! This is kinda a filler chap but okay

Standing in front of the Kageyama residence reminds Atsumu how much he has lost to Tobio. Not only in terms of being a setter, but also as an accomplished adult in general. Tobio is happily married with two children and it look like his marriage with Shouyou goes a long way. The big house and car are just a plus. It makes a tsunami of jealousy converge with his pile of already negative emotions. 

"Wow! What a nice house!" Sumi beams, her amber eyes gleaming with interest as if she's only seen something as marvelous once. 

"Yeah... I know." Atsumu says, barely a whisper as he looks away. The jealousy is tainted in his voice. And he knows Kiyoomi heard it. 

The alpha beside him just wanted to reassure him, to tell him that it'll be okay, that they'll buy a house like that together, be happy with the kids and have each other for the rest of their lives. But then again, Kiyoomi has no right to say that. Especially that if it wasn't for him, Atsumu would be there now. He would've been happy with the love of his life, and with children born from that very love. He wouldn't have suffered all these years, he would've have doubted himself. He would have everything he wanted. But because of Kiyoomi, he didn't. So instead of saying anything, he stays silent as he can't help the frown on his face. 

The door opens to reveal Shouyou, carrying the little birthday celebrant as Tobio stands next to him. The younger alpha had a smirk on his face upon seeing the pair in front of him. His omega on the other hand, was all bright smiles. But Kiyoomi and Atsumu know better that the sunshine boy likes to mask his emotions with those grins. Both can see a hint of smugness behind that smile that could rival the sun. 

Atsumu knows that these two know something. He feels their involvement radiating just from standing in front of him. 

"Atsumu-san, Omi-san, glad you can make it!" Shouyou beams, the bright smile never fading from his face. Hiroyo claps and follows her mother's smile. Bonus: she giggles. For a moment, it made Atsumu forget about all his suspicions as his heart melts at the sight of the little redhead. Genetics really did a good job maintaining Shouyou's mood-lightening smile in at least one of their children. 

"Of course, it's the little sunshine's birthday~!" Atsumu singsongs as he approached Hiroyo, making the celebrant giggle some more. He turns to Tobio and hands him two decorated paper bags. "Hi Tobio-chan, Here are our gifts." 

"Two?" 

"One from Sakusa-san and Sumi, and the other from me and Kitsu." 

The other setter nods in understanding. Shouyou looks down on the twins. "Why hello there you two! Would you like to come in?"

"That's a stupid question to ask." Kiyoomi says bluntly. 

"Sure!" Sumi beams. 

"I wanna go home." Kitsu whines. 

The couple led Atsumu, Kiyoomi and the twins inside the spacious house. Children were scattered all around, running, hogging sweets and playing with each other while the grownups watch over them, sometimes engaging in conversations with friends and acquaintances. It was very lively indeed. Atsumu recognizes at least some of the people around, but he wasn't close enough with them to start a conversation. It's not like he wants to anyways. 

They come across a redhead who just put down the gifts she gathered. Shouyou transferred the little sunshine to her arms. It was only then that Atsumu realizes the redhead is Natsu. She smiles as she holds her niece dearly. Tobio and Shouyou continue to lead the other two (plus the children) into what Atsumu assumes is the kitchen. 

"The Sakusas are here!" Shouyou yells informatively, a mixture of excitement and smugness in his voice. 

The blond behind him raises a brow. "Whadya' mean? I'm a Miy-" 

"TSUM-TSUM!" Says Koutarou's ever so loud, megaphone-like voice as it almost damages Atsumu's eardrums. He then engulfs the omega into a hug. Surely, Atsumu was suffocating but the happiness he felt upon meeting one of his favourite dudes again was worth it. "You made it!" 

"Good t' see ya too, Kou." Atsumu greets back as the alpha pulls away. His eyes then scan to the table in front of them. Five people were currently sitting down there: the Kuroos, Keiji, Tadashi and Hitoka. 

"Ah, Yacchan! Yamaguchi-kun, it's been a while." The setter smiles at the two. 

"Nice to meet you again as well, Atsumu-san. But I'm also Yamaguchi." The blonde greets back. 

"Oh." 

"HAHA! Your expression is priceless Tsum-Tsum!" Koutarou's obnoxious laugh can rival the noise of the whole party. 

Hitoka notices the little ravenette holding onto her mother's hand. Sumi's head was quick to turn to the blonde, making the older smile. With a soft, feathery and soothing voice, she calls out. "Hey, come here little sweetheart." 

Sumi radiates a bright smile as she lets go of Atsumu's hand and walks closer to Hitoka and her husband. Atsumu observes her carefully with a soft smile on his face. Once the little girl was infront of the blonde, Hitoka hesitantly reaches out to stroke her curls. 

"Your curls are beautiful. What's your name?" 

"I'm Miya Sumi!" Sumi beams in response. 

Hitoka was taken aback by this, and so was Tadashi. When both parents of the ravenette had their eyes away from the table (courtesy of Koutarou who engaged them in conversation), the blonde turns to the other three men. With a face of pure confusion, Tetsurou, Kei and Keiji were able to catch her question. 

"It's a long story." Keiji says boredly. "I don't think it's any of our places to tell you." 

Although still confused, the couple nods. Hitoka lifts Sumi up and the older asks questions such as 'how was school' and 'how old are you?'. She makes sure not to be insensitive and to avoid entering the topic of the ravenette's parents. 

Kitsu on the other hand, hides behind his father, clutching on his pants as usual. He would like nothing more than to go home. Or maybe he can get his uncle Kei to teach him new words here. The little fox sighs as he comes to a realization that it's impossible. Koutarou doesn't fail to notice the evident hesitation in him, so he tries to engage the little boy in conversation. 

"Are you bored? Do you want to be carried?" Kou leans down, making the little boy hide even more. Kiyoomi scowls at the owl. Maybe he didn't want his son to get germs or maybe he was afraid that his son would get more attached to his teammate than he is to his own father. It could be both, no one knows.

"I'm fine here." Kitsu responds. 

"Awww, c'mon!" Kou pouts. "You're just like Omi!" 

"He's my son you idiot." Kiyoomi deadpans as if it wasn't obvious to the other spiker. 

"Shall I chase you around then?" Koutarou smirks as he begins to approach the little boy. As Kiyoomi was about to scold the owl, Kitsu runs to Keiji. 

"Uncle Keiji, your husband is scary!" Kitsu says as he buries his head on the omega's lap. 

Keiji delicately strokes his hair. "I'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, I deal with him everyday, so I can tell you that he isn't that bad. But he's still bad though." 

Koutarou whines. "Honey!!" 

"So, are you two dating now?" Tetsurou ignores the whines of his best friend as he directs the question at the raven and the blond. The question is also accompanied by a sheepish smile. Kiyoomi tenses, silently sending a wish to the gods that the rooster head would shut up. That bastard. 

Shocks seems to be evident in Atsumu's face, but he was quick to recompose himself as he gives a smile. He puts his hands up in front of him and waves them, a gesture of dismissal. "No haha. We're only together right now because of the kids. Every child deserves to have both parents, right?" He chuckles awkwardly. 

The hurt Kiyoomi feels at this is inevitable. But then again, who would want to date him after all he's done? The Yamaguchis were no other than confused while the other boys have a frown on their faces. 

"Mama, I saw Yuka pass by! Can I go to her?" Sumi cuts in as soon as she catches a glimpse of the familiar blond hair in the living room. 

Great timing. I really love my daughter. Atsumu thinks that to himself as he complies to the ravenette's request. "Sure. Lemme accompany ya." He turns to Kitsu. "Kitsu, ya wanna come?" 

"Only to make sure Sumi doesn't do anything stupid." Kitsu deadpans in response. 

The blond chuckles. "A'ight." 

As the twins go to their mother, they left the kitchen. Once they were far enough, Tetsurou starts, his statement directed at Kiyoomi. "You aren't dating yet?" 

"It's only been two weeks. Do you expect him to fall inlove with me again in that short period?" Kiyoomi snaps. 

"He's already inlove with you! His feelings never changed!" Koutarou exclaims as-a-matter-of-factly. 

"But winning the children over is a good first step." Keiji joins in. 

"You have seven months left." Tobio informs. 

"Omi try harder!" Shouyou commands.

"It's not easy to forgive. I'm giving him time and space." Kiyoomi says almost inaudibly. 

"That's actually very thoughtful of you. Stick to that. Give him time." Keiji accedes.

Hitoka and Tadashi have no idea what's going on. Their head is trying to piece all of this information together. Kei seems to notice this so he sighs. "These two don't have any idea what's going on. Sakusa-san, care to explain?" 

"No! That's alright! If it's confidential and none of our business, you don't need to tell us." Tadashi dismisses nervously. 

"Nothing about it is confidential. In fact, we're talking about it right now." Tobio deadpans. 

"Tobio's right. Omi?" Tetsurou says, whipping his head to the germaphobe's direction. 

The latter sighs before starting. "We weren't dating, but the twins were accidental."

Surely that was enough to enlighten the beta couple. They share an "oohh." 

"I never knew you had children, Sakusa-san." Hitoka says. "When Koushi-san said that there was a girl and a boy who looked like you, I thought it must be coincidental."

Kiyoomi's brows furrow at this, confusion expressed. "Koushi...san?" 

"He used to be Sugawara, but now he's a Sawamura." Tetsurou explains. 

"You know! The gray-haired setter of Karasuno!" Koutarou continues. 

"I think I know him now. But how did he find the twins?" Kiyoomi asks. 

"He's an elementary teacher in Sendai. The twins and Yuka study in their preschool." Kei clarifies. 

"It's a small world!" Koutarou laughs. 

"Is he here right now?" Kiyoomi asks. 

"I am now!" A giggle interrupts their conversation as the omega enters the kitchen. 

"We summoned Koushi-san. Kou, you were too loud." Keiji scolds his alpha. 

"No, I managed to hear my name on the way here. Good morning Sakusa-san." He cheerfully greets. "I see Sumi and Kitsu are yours?" 

"Good morning. Yes, you are correct." Kiyoomi politely responds. 

"Where are Kazuyuki-kun and Keiko-chan now, Koushi-san?" Hitoka asks. 

"Keiko's playing with aki and Shino - Since Kitsu doesn't want to play with Aki." Koushi chuckles. "And Zuyu is looking after his sister."

Out of all the couples here, Koushi and Daichi were the first to have a child. Daichi confessed at their high school graduation and they fought all the odds of a long-distance relationship during their college. When Daichi wasn't around, Koushi religiously relied on supressors during heats and stayed loyal to his alpha. Upon graduating, Daichi proposed. They were one of the only couples who had marriage first before bearing a child. Kazuyuki, their first born, is now eleven and their princess is just the age of all the other kids, five. 

"Our kids could not relate." Tetsurou says. "Tomo always finds a way to get on Yuka's nerves." 

Kei laughs at this. "He's a mini you, that's why." 

"Shino takes care of Hiro really well! But when Hiro pisses him off, he always tries to pinch her cheeks. Tobio taught him that." Shouyou whispered the last part as his husband was next to him. But most times, whispers are meant to be heard, so Tobio smacks his mate at the head. 

"Man you guys have two children! I'll have to wait for nine months to have another!" Koutarou whines. 

"Aren't you a kid?" Tetsurou jokes. 

"That's mean, Kuroo!" The owl only pouted. 

"How about your twins, Sakusa-san?" Koushi asks curiously. "They seem pretty nice to me." 

Kiyoomi snorts obnoxiously. "No, it's actually the same case with Tetsurou-san and Kei-san."

They continued to talk about their kids and for once, Kiyoomi doesn't feel out of place. Even if he just started feeling the joys of parenting, he feels very much accomplished that he has kids to call his own and that he gets to experience everything a parent does. 

But if he messes this up, he can only get to experience this for eight months. 

A doorbell rings around the house, signifying that a guest has arrived. Shouyou excuses himself, happily skipping to the door. 

When the redhead arrives, three other people are behind him. Specifically a libero, a model and a cream-haired child. All from Russia. 

"The Haibas are here!" Shouyou cheers happily, because every guest matters. 

"Hello. It's nice to be here." Morisuke greets. 

"Mori, you're too formal." Lev says with a face all too serious. He takes a deep inhale and upon exhaling, the thin line of his mouth becomes a curve that only Koutarou can display. From an aloof top model, he becomes the tall crackhead he is. "HI EVERYONE!!!"

"And here I thought Koutarou was the loudest one here." Kei sighs. "When will this ever end?" 

"Oh! You brought Anton." Tetsurou says as he notices the little boy.

"Ah yes. It's his first time here in Japan." Morisuke nods. 

"He's so big now! And he looks like you, only more Russian." Koutarou exclaims as he approaches Anton. 

"Mama, who is this?" Anton asks in Russian, tugging at his mother's sleeve. 

"That's your uncle Koutarou." Morisuke answers in the same language. 

"What are you talking aboutttt? Speak Japanese!" Koutarou whines for the nth time today. 

"Hey Tetsurou, can we talk to you privately first. It's important." Lev asks, leaving Koutarou ignored. Tetsurou nods and gets up. The taller looks down on his son and starts to speak in Russian. "Hey Anton, you can roam around and try to make friends."

The little boy nods as he scurries away. The three excuse themselves and head to the bar of the kitchen.

Kiyoomi doesn't want to entertain more questions now that more guests have arrived. He decides on isolating himself so he as well excuses himself. 

At one of farthest corners of the living room, he spots Atsumu sitting down, and Kitsu burying his head on his mother's lap, synonymous to how he did it to Keiji a while ago. The reason for the raven's hiding? Oh, it was another raven with heterochromatic eyes as he keeps insisting for the fox to play with him. 

"Kitsu, play with me! It's fun, I promise!" Takaaki begs, tugging on the shirt of the other boy. He knows that if he makes skin to skin contact, he can earn a slap in the face. 

"No! Go away!" Kitsu protests, voice muffled from Atsumu's lap. "I said go away!" 

"It wouldn't hurt to socialize, wouldn't it, Kitsu?" Atsumu bargains. His son barely has any friends at Sendai other than Yuka and Koushi's second born, Keiko. Being friends with Aki is a great step and it's only once that he can meet the other kids from Tokyo again. 

"Mama! Aren't you on my sideee?" Kitsu whines, a contradiction to his normal composure. 

Kiyoomi approaches the conflict, making Atsumu and the little owl flinch. When Kitsu doesn't receive a response nor a retort, he whips his head up to the presence of his father. "Papa! Help me-" 

"I agree with your mother." 

Shock made its way to the kids' and Atsumu's faces. Clearly they were expecting the opposite since Kiyoomi himself has been to the same situation as his son. Amber eyes become glassy. "Why are you against me? I want Sumi!" 

Ah yes, the familiarity between twins. Although he's the one who most likely babysits his older sister (by seven minutes), in times where Kitsu feels like the odds are against him, he clutches onto his sister's shirt. These times are rare, so Sumi does her best to comfort her twin like how their roles are supposed to be. Kitsu's head returns to Atsumu's lap as he insists in hiding there until the party's over. 

"Sumi's with Yuka! If you come with me, I can bring you-" 

"That's enough now Aki. Kitsu has touch aversion. Respect his boundaries." A particular Bokuto Keiji cuts in, scolding his son. 

"Mom, you're no fun!" Aki retorts dejectedly. "And what's avershh...?" 

"Aversion. Meaning he doesn't like it and he panics with it." 

"Oh." 

"You can play with Shino and the rest. Come." The omega holds his hand out for the raven to reach. 

"Bye bye Kitsu! If you don't have aver-aversh... If you're okay with touching now, we can play!" Takaaki greets goodbye as he holds his mother's hand. 

Kitsu managed to reveal his face a bit as he hesitantly waves goodbye. This only makes the other boy's smile grow wider. As the two were leaving, Keiji was quick to whisper to Kiyoomi. "I bought you alone time with Atsumu-san and your son. I hope you put it to good use." 

Although a little bit creeped out, the alpha nods. When the two left, He takes a seat on the bench beside Atsumu. His eyes dart to the little boy. "Kitsu, it's okay now." 

"No! I'm still mad!" Kitsu shakes his head, refusing to reveal his face. 

"Is it because we disagreed with you?" Kiyoomi asks softly. The response he got was a faint nod. "I understand where you're coming at, but your mother's right." 

"If you understand then why didn't you help me?" Says the little raven, voice still muffled. "Uncle Keiji's not my dad, but he helped me." 

Suddenly, a different anxiety overwhelms the spiker. Not one as a product of his germaphobia, but one of relating to being a father. He's just got his children back and he can't lose them again, just like how he lost Atsumu. Not knowing what to do, he does something that calms both himself and his son. He cards a hand in raven locks similar to the omega's undyed ones when he was still a kid. 

This is one of Kitsu's weaknesses, as Kiyoomi records from the night before. It soothes him and ends his never ending thoughts of panic. It also calms the alpha because he is once again reminded of the soft feeling of Atsumu's hair. It takes him back to when the setter was still his. 

Atsumu observes them carefully. 'Ah. He found out about Kitsu's soft spot.' That's all that lingers in his mind. The kids are becoming incredibly close to him. 

'It'll be harder to leave, it'll be harder to leave. It'll be harder to-' 

The spiker retreats his hand, making the little boy look up from his mother's lap with a pleading look. His small arms make an effort to reach out. "Wait-" 

"You want more? Come, sit up with us." Kiyoomi pats the space in between him and Atsumu. 

Kitsu climbs up the bench, and sits in between his parents. He leans his head on his father's right arm. Kiyoomi's left arm travels to meet dark waves as he continues to massage his child's scalp. 

Unsurprisingly, Kitsu manages to calm down as he sighs contently. Among the three of them, it was silent. Actually, too silent for Kiyoomi's liking. So he tries to make progress with the blond. "Atsumu-" 

"I'm feelin' thirsty." Atsumu cuts the alpha off as he stands up. "Sakusa-san, Kitsu, want anythin' to drink?" 

"I'm fine, thanks." Kitsu responds as his focus was on his father's fingers on his head. 

"No.." Kiyoomi grunts silently. 'I don't want drinks. I want to talk to you.' Is what he meant to say. 

Atsumu fakes a smile. "Alright. I'll just be... Over there, if ya need me." 

And with that, he left. The alpha knows that that his ex omega was definitely avoiding him. 

\--- 

When Tetsurou and the Haibas reached the bar, this is where Lev completely lost it. 

"How is Anton supposed to communicate with the other kids? He doesn't speak Japanese!" Lev panics, not wanting his son to be lonely during his first visit to Japan. 

"Wait, you called me out just for that? Why can't you ask me directly there with the others?" Tetsurou feigns irritation. 

"It's embarrasing to ask the others! They'll say we made him dismiss his Japanese side!" 

"Lev, calm down." The omega says calmly, a total contradiction to his alpha's uneasiness. 

"He can speak English, right?" Tetsurou asks. 

"Yeah, only basic conversational English though." Morisuke responds. 

"Good. That'll be enough. Yuka knows how to speak english and she's quiet fluent for her age." Tetsurou says proudly, bragging about his daughter's linguistic ability. 

Morisuke rolls his eyes but his alpha is rather fascinated by this fact. "Really Kuroo-san? That's awesome!" 

"It's common sense. Surely Yuka has been to America at least once considering that Kei-san is half american." Morisuke deadpans.

"Yaku! Don't spoil my fun!" Tetsurou hushes and scolds at the same time. 

"But is Yuka the only one who can understand and speak english?" Morisuke asks, ignoring the alpha's whines. 

"Hmm, the other kids can understand simple English terms like 'hello', 'thank you' and such. Although I'm not sure." Tetsurou answers. 

"Well, I guess we have to let him communicate with Yuka, and let Yuka translate japanese into english." Lev says as he turns to Tetsurou. "Is that okay with you Kuroo-san?" 

"Of course, if it helps your son be less lonely." Tetsurou smiles. 

"Thanks! Anton is lucky to have an uncle like you!" Lev beams graciously. Little did he know that it only inflated the sly cat's head. 

"Aw shucks, you flatter me. But it is true. Children are lucky to have me as an uncle." Tetsurou sways his hand dramatically as he looks away - also dramatically. 

"Lev, take back what you said." Morisuke commands with a bored expression on his face. 

"I'm joking! Geez, you guys never let me have any fun." Tetsurou pouts, nonetheless, he calls for his daughter. Once Yuka approaches him, he starts. "Yuka, you know Anton right?" 

"You mean the Russian boy?" Yuka tilts her head in curiosity as she raises a golden brow. 

"Technically he's more Japanese than Russian but that'll do." The alpha chuckles. "Anyways, can you talk to him? You're the only one among the kids with fluent english."

"That doesn't give me a reason to translate for him." Yuka says bluntly. Her personality is really like her mother. Instead of gushing over the compliment, she dismisses it saltily. She really is a mini girl version of Kei. 

Tetsurou scolds his daughter as the Japanese-Russian couple can hear her. "Honey, show some respect." 

Lev laughs it off as a smug smirk takes over Morisuke's face. "How's it like having salty children?" 

"It's only Yuka who's salty! Tomohito's not! He's an angel!" Tetsurou turns back and snarls at the libero. He kind of whispered-yelled to so his daughter couldn't hear him, but it failed. 

"Daddy you have favorites?" Yuka asks and her voice laced with disappointment and sadness. Lev and Morisuke burst out laughing at this. 

The alpha turns to Yuka with a softened expression. "Shhh, I didn't imply that I had favorites. I love you both equally! I love your saltiness, okay?" 

Yuka pouts. "If you say so..." 

Tetsurou sighs in relief as he turns to Lev and Morisuke once more. The couple has stopped laughing now. "Oh and to answer your question, it's just like how Atsumu sometimes stresses over Kitsu's germaphobia. Just like his case, my child has my pet peeve from my lover." 

"Kitsu? Who's that?" Morisuke asks curiously. 

"Huh? You don't know?" Tetsurou blinks in disbelief. But then again, Atsumu is not on the national team anymore, so Morisuke hasn't caught up on him. Plus, the libero spends most his time in Russia so he rarely (almost never) visits Sendai. That realization was enough to bring the alpha to explain. "Kitsu is Atsumu's son." 

"But Atsumu doesn't have an alpha?" Lev wasn't sure if he said a statement or asked a question. According to his omega's description on their national team five years ago (when Atsumu was still the second setter), the blond was one of the only players who doesn't have a lover. 

"Well... It's a long story. You can talk to him about it though." Tetsurou supplies. 

"He's here?" Morisuke asks. 

"Yeah, he even brought his kids." 

"Kids?" Lev asks in disbelief. 

"Yup. Twins." Tetsurou clarifies.

"Miya genes are terrifying. It's like there has to be a set of twins per generation." Lev laughs and the other Nekoma alumni follow.

"I almost recognized all kids here. But I found a black haired boy that looks like him. Is that Kitsu?" Morisuke asks. 

"Yup. The other twin is a girl." 

"Ahh, lucky." Lev pouts. 

"I know right. He hit the jackpot." Tetsurou chuckles. 

"There was a girl who I don't recognize. She has curly hair and has a slightly similar face to the boy. Is that his twin?" Morisuke asks once more. 

"Mhm. That's Sumi." Tetsurou nods. 

"She kinda looks like... Oh God, Mori are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lev looks down to his lover. 

The older only nods. "She looks like Sakusa." 

"Bingo! Omi is their father~" Tetsurou singsongs. 

Both jaws dropped. Lev is first to recover. "So that's why Sakusa-san's here! I thought it was strange to see him in a crowded place like this!"

"You might not know, he could've shown some support on the party." Tetsurou shrugs.

"Yeah but wouldn't it be more reasonable to send a gift and make an alibi? He seems like the type to do that." Lev says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Oh shit true." The black-haired alpha considers this.

"Wha- what, when, where, why and how?" Morisuke asks, still in disbelief.

"Don't ask me, it's not my place to tell you this. Ask Atsumu or Omi. Maybe Atsumu, he's more welcoming." Tetsurou says as his eyes catch the mentioned omega, talking to another omega who is also a setter. He doesn't set for Japan though, he's the Argentinian team's setter, Iwaizumi Tooru. 

"Hmm, I see your point..." Morisuke ponders as his gaze follows Tetsurou's. 

Meanwhile, some time ago, Hajime and Tooru arrived at the Kageyama residence's doorstep, with their daughter, Himeko. When Tobio and Shouyou opened the door, the omega setter immediately hugged the couple. 

"Tooru-senpai!" Shouyou beams, hugging back. "You made it!" 

"It's a surprise how quickly you flew from Argentina to Japan." Tobio smiles as he as well hugs back. 

"Duh! I'm your awesome, super amazing, marvelous senpai! I do the impossible!" Tooru pulls aways as he flips his imaginary long hair. Tobio could only roll his eyes but deep inside, he's actually very happy that his senior could make it for his daughter's birthday. 

Tooru dismisses his poor attempt in boasting as his expression softens. "Besides, I could never miss my goddaughter's second birthday."

As if Shouyou's smile wasn't already too bright, it brightens up to the point that it can rival the sun. Tobio's faint smile is a little more evident. The couple greets Hajime and Himeko.

"My, my, you've grown! You might even grow to be more stunning than your mother!" Shouyou jokes as he crouches down to pat the little girl's head.

"I'm betting ten thousand yen that it's gonna happen." Iwaizumi agrees, a victorious smirk painted on his face once he sees his omega pout with an accompanied 'hmph'.

The Kageyamas invited them inside as Tooru immediately rambles around, enthusiastically greeting everyone, because he literally knows everyone.

As he finished greeting and having a small chat with the Yamaguchis, his chestnut brown eyes finds a face he hasn't seen in a long time. Hell, he wasn't even sure if this person was still alive. But there he is now, leaning on the counter, watching kids play around with a smile on his face.

"Tsumu-chan!" Tooru calls out as he approaches the other setter.

Tooru and Atsumu get a long pretty well. They have a lot of personalities, and by 'a lot' meaning that they are literally the same person in different fonts. They are both setters and omegas, they both had Tobio as their rival once, their eyes have almost the same shade, they both became captains on their third year and not to mention, they're both big cynical brats-slash-assholes. The mentioned similarities aren't even half of the whole thing. Again, they are literally the same person.

Atsumu turns to find Tooru, he gives a smile as the brunet finally reaches him. "Haven't seen you in like... Forever! How's life?"

"Pretty tough, I don't mind though." Atsumu shrugs.

"Still playing volleyball?"

"I'm on Kei's team."

"There are two Keis here."

"Does Bokuto Keiji still play volleyball?" Atsumu adds a questioning sway to his voice. 

"You're a dick for being philosophical."

They both share a laugh at this. It was as if they were 16 all over again, gossiping the usual tea. Sometimes Atsumu thinks that they're so alike, that Tooru can eventually replace Osamu in being his twin.

"So you're playing for the frogs, ay? Geez, what happened? You quit the national team. That was such a waste babe." Tooru frowns.

A sigh escapes the younger. "It's a long story. I don't wanna talk about it right now. Remind me to tell ya next time." He offers a small smile.

Tooru returns the smile and gives him a pat on the back. "Alright. Whatever floats yer boat." He mimics Atsumu's kansai accent and they both end up laughing because of how terrible it sounded like.

"You weren't here on Hiroyo's first birthday, nor were you here on any of Shino's." Tooru states, but Atsumu can tell that behind that simple statement is a question.

"Yeah... I only met Shouyou and Tobio again this year, weeks ago actually." Atsumu responds as both their gazes travel across the room to the party being held, children with bright smiles and grown ups catching up with each other. It really shows how life goes, right?

"Hmm, that explains it." Tooru nods before he remembers something. "Oh and by the way, I'm married now!"

Atsumu turns to face him. "Ya aren't Oikawa anymore?"

"Nope! It's Iwaizumi now!" Tooru beams as he shows the silver wedding band.

"Holy shit dude that's awesome! Congratulations! Since when?"

"Three years ago only!"

"Man, that's rad. How's yer daughter?" Atsumu asks, focusing the conversation on Tooru. He doesn't want the brunet to know about how he has kids with an alpha he isn't even dating.

"She's doing fine. Since me and Hajime are most of the time separated, she spent her first five years in the Philippines with Hajime's mother. She visits Japan frequently, but this time she'll be staying here permanently now." Tooru informs and Atsumu suddenly remembers that his past athletic trainer is half Filipino.

"Does she know how to speak Japanese?" The blond queries.

"Only basic. She's fluent in English though."

"Damn, that'll take some time in adjusting."

"It's fine, we've already hired a private tutor in japanese. Things will go smoothly... I hope."

Atsumu chuckles. "Don't worry Ru-kun, it will."

They decide to exchange numbers. After putting their phones away, Tooru smiles as they continues watching the liveliness around them. The older then realizes something; Atsumu is the only one around without children nor a spouse. Or so, that's what he thinks.

"Hey, are you..." Tooru starts, a bit hesitant because this topic might be insensitive to the younger setter. 

"Hmm? I didn't catch that."

"Are you uhmm... Feeling left out?"

"Feeling left out? How so?" Atsumu turns to look at the brunet, confusion being evident in his face.

"Like, everyone has kids and a partner now... How do you feel?" Tooru asks with all seriousness.

Atsumu tenses. He doesn't know how to break the news to him so he gulps before starting. "Well... Ya see-"

"Mama!" Sumi's voice cuts him off as the ravenette approaches her mother. Tooru freezes at this.

"Hmm, what is it Sumi?" Atsumu leans forward to look at his daughter.

"Another girl came and she's very beautiful! Do you know her?" The ravenette tilts her head like a cute puppy, big amber doll eyes looking straight to Atsumu's very own brown orbs.

"How does she look like?" Atsumu asks as he tucks a curl behind the little girl's ear.

"She has dark brown wavy hair and her skin is not too pale but not too tan! She's like those people who live in sunny places! Her eyes are very brown too!" Sumi beams enthusiastically, very excited to meet this girl.

"That one?" Atsumu bends lower as he points to Himeko, who is busy quarreling with her father. The ravenette nods excitedly.

The blond chuckles before he straightens his body. "Her mother is beside me."

Tooru seems to take notice of this because he smiles once Sumi's eyes meet his. "Yahoo! What's your name pretty angel?"

Sumi laughs. "I'm Sumi. Miya Sumi."

"Nice to meet you Micchan! I'm Iwaizumi Tooru, you can call me uncle Ruru!" Tooru bows down only to make the little girl giggle more.

"My cousin's nickname is Ruru. So I'll stick with uncle Tooru." Her lips curve upwards and the brunet thinks that he's seen that rare smile somewhere.

"Okay!" Tooru agrees, raising a thumbs up. "I heard you want to talk to my daughter. Why don't you approach her? She can't speak Japanese yet though. Can you speak English?"

"Sure! I can speak english!" Sumi responds in english, although a bit slang, that actually shocks the brunet. Nonetheless, he smiles and gives her a pat on top of her head. "A five year old speaking english like that is impressive. My daughter will surely like you."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Sumi gives her brightest smile as she runs off towards Himeko. Tooru's shocked expression returns on his face as he turns to the blond. "You never said you had a daughter?"

"Uhmm... Then I think I should inform ya that I also have a son." Atsumu says hesitantly. 

"Who's older?"

"They're twins."

Tooru's jaw dropped. But then he recomposes himself as another question comes in mind.

"Why Miya?"

Atsumu shivers at the two-word question as he looks away. The older seems to take notice of this as he dismisses what he said. "Ahhh! You don't need to answer if you don't want-"

"The father wasn't there when they were born." Atsumu responds plainly, no hint of emotion in his voice.

"So... You and their father... Aren't dating or anything?" Tooru asks slowly, making sure to be gentle in asking confidential things like such.

"Nope."

"How did you get the twins then? One night stand?"

"Actually me and the father were friends with benefits. Hell, I don't even know if we were even friends." Atsumu shrugs. 

Although the atmosphere around them was vibrant and colorful, dead silence between them invaded. After a few seconds of nothing, Tooru breaks it. "I'm sorry."

Atsumu turns to look at the brunet again. This time, with a raised brow. "Why are ya apologisin'?"

"It seems that you were uncomfortable with my interrogation. The topic is a bit touchy and confidential. I'm so sorry." Tooru looks away in shame.

Atsumu chuckles softly. "Nah, it's okay. I'm beginnin' to accept my past anyways. First step to that is talking about it."

The older's eyes shine as he looks back at the blond. This guy is kind, but an asshole, but then again, kind. He doesn't know how Atsumu manages to be a single parent with all the emotional stress of the past piling up on him.

"Do you know where the father is?" Tooru asks quietly, almost inaudible as if he didn't want to spill the question.

"Actually I do." Atsumu looks around the cheery house.

"Really?"

"Mhm." Atsumu smiles. "He's in here."

Atsumu's gaze lands on Kiyoomi, who is busy giving Kitsu some hand sanitizer after he 'touched enough already'. Both were trying to avoid any kind of physical and social contact but invitations were inevitable as kids comes and ask Kitsu to play with them and some acquaintances would invite Kiyoomi to converse. As typical as they are, they both declined it. Those two really get along.

Tooru's gaze follows the younger's and his eyes widen when he learns who the father is.

"Tsumu-chan, you've got to be kidding me."

"Am I really that much of a joker that ya don't believe me?" The blond only chuckles.

So that's why Sumi's smile was so familiar to Tooru. He's seen it only once, and he saw it on Kiyoomi. He can't quite remember what made him smile that way, but he can see the genuineness and rarity of that smile. The brunet also noticed how their curls are very alike. Yup, that explains it.

"No way..." Both omegas' eyes were on the ravens. Tooru still had his mouth agape in suddenness and shock. "So is that boy her twin?" 

"Mhm." 

Tooru can't believe it. 

Suddenly, his phone started buzzing, indicating a call. He excuses himself. "I have to take this call Tsu-chan. Let's catch up more on each other at Sendai. I'll be leaving for Argentina next week, so we still have a lot of time."

"Sure, I'll be looking forward to it. Text me." Atsumu smiles. The older nods as he answers the call, walking away. 

His eyes travel to the kids around. He sees Yuka with a kid who looks similar to Lev. And beside them, another group of children consisting of Shino and Aki, with Keiko as they play with Natsu and Hiroyo. 

Sometimes the blond wonders what they are up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might now be updating soon. I hope y'all understand! And:
> 
> \- as a filipino, I rlly like the hc that iwa is half filo  
> \- I read a fic where tsukki is half american, decided to put that in too  
> \- we all love a soft kitsu
> 
> That's all, thanks for reading this chap! See you in the next ❤️


	12. Sketches

You thought it was a chapter, but it was me, Dio! 

Haha seriously. I was supposed to post this on my birthday but I was too excited to share this! 

Yes I draw (but very badly lmao). So I'm very sorry if this is really ugly. It's just a sketch, so I didn't really color it or anything.

Ps, I'm sorry if it looks too big let's just say the canvas size was around 2000x2000 to 4000x4000. Was too lazy too resize (laziness is a sin and I'm going to hell)

1\. Miya Sumi

2\. Miya Kitsu

3\. Kageyama Shino

4\. Bokuto Takaaki  


5\. Kuroo Yuka

6\. Kageyama Hiroyo  


Here is the post on twitter (along with a few facts): https://mobile.twitter.com/one_two_thlee/status/1297721414540120064

And I just wanna clarify some things

1\. I heard that the home base of the jackals is in Osaka. I didn't know that when I started the story. And most of the fics here have the msby home base in Tokyo. So in this au, the jackals are Tokyo-based.

2\. I heard that Atsumu was the older twin??? I don't know how it was confirmed (if you do, please tell me how. I've been off twitter for a while now). Anyways, I mentioned in the story that Atsumu's the younger, guess my hc is incorrect lmao. I'll have to edit that, but for the meantime, Osamu's the older twin here.

3\. I'm having a Haikyuu royalty au brainrot, so don't be surprised if I abandon this fic just to write this brainrot that won't go away (I'm terrible sorry, but I'll try my best to continue this)

4\. I posted this fic on wattpad! It's more organised there, but currently it's only on chapter 1. Nothing really changed but I edited it a bit (only a bit cuz my lazy ass won't go all out lol)

5\. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AODHEDIDHDKSKS weird flex but ok

And lastly, thank you for reading! I'm very conflicted with this work. I think it's pretty preposterous that I wrote this fic considering my age and likings lmao. I have thought of giving this up alot of times but you guys are here, supporting me with your kind comments. Although it's not much to you, it's a lot more to me! Stay safe luv ❤️


	13. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids realize what needs to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not in fact, abandon this fic lmao. I now have a path of how I want this fic to end (it's not the end yet, don't worry).
> 
> This chapter is mostly a filler, but I think it's wholesome lmao. 
> 
> And just to inform you, I type with phone and i dont usually edit (when the fic is done, I will), so please expect a lot of typos and grammatical error. 
> 
> That's all, please enjoy this chapter.

Atsumu was avoiding Kiyoomi, and the alpha himself knew of this.

But their son also saw through it.

And because he knows that, even with his father's comforting fingers threading his hair, he can never be at peace.

He knows that it will only be temporary.

But he wants Kiyoomi to be his father, permanently.

In other words, he wants his parents together.

Everything seems conflicting to the little boy. He wants to do something. He wants to interfere. But he doesn't want to be stupid, 'just like his sister' he says. He kept thinking and thinking but nothing comes to mind. After all, he's only five. He knows nothing at all.

But of course, he can only get the best results if he brainstorms with his other half.

He sighs, asking himself if he's really doing this. He has no other choice. This facade is not leading to anything. They're still going to leave the country if nothing changes.

He fears that what his uncle 'Samu said will happen.

Kitsu gets up, gathering the courage to push himself through the crowd. Kiyoomi was taken aback. Raising a brow, he asks. "Where are you going?"

"I wanna go to Sumi."

"Are you sure? Are you okay now?" The alpha asks with concern. This was so sudden, considering that the little boy was having a very bad breakdown a while ago.

"I'll be okay papa." He flashes a comforting smile. It was very rare, just like Kiyoomi's very own smiles. He nods in acknowledgement. "I'll just be here. Come to me okay?" 

The alpha receives a thumbs up before his son turned away. 

As Kitsu mentally prepares himself to scurry through the crowd, his face contorts into grimace, with nothing but cringe evident.

'I hate this.' He thinks to himself as he looks for his sister.

\---

"Oh? You wanna learn Filipino?" The cheeky mini Tooru asks. Her voice laced with nothing but mischief. Sumi just can't get the clue as she nods enthusiastically.

"Okay, repeat after me!" Himeko beams as she clears her throat dramatically.

"Pu—" 

"Pu" Sumi follows obediently. 

"Tang—" 

"Tan"

"Ina!" Himeko exclaims as she finishes the word

"Ina!"

"Putangina!" Himeko says just as loudly as earlier before a broad hand makes contact with her head, resulting in a smack. 

"Sinong nagturo sayo niyan?!" Hajime scolds with fury. (Who taught you that?!) 

"Ikaw! Palagi mong sinasabihan ng putangina si mommy!" Himeko retorts defensively as another hit immediately strikes. (You! You always say 'screw you' to mommy!) 

Himeko whines as Hajime facepalms himself. He knew that he shouldn't have let his daughter grow up in the Philippines. And he should've known better to watch his mouth. 

Sumi watches as the father-daughter duo argue in a language that she herself cannot understand. A tug on her shirt startles her. She turns around to see her brother with the most unimpressed look. She raises a brow. 

"Fancy seeing you here." She mimics her uncle Kei's infamous line of sarcasm. "Aki said you don't want to play." 

"I don't." Her twin snaps back. "I need to talk to—" 

"Kitsu!" Both twins can hear the startling, deafening and gleeful voice of an approaching ball of energy. The called boy rolls his eyes and groans with frustration. This is not a good timing. 

"Hey! Is your avers... What was that again? Oh! Is your aversion gone?" Aki beams. 

"No." Kitsu grunts acerbically. "I just need to talk to my sist-" 

"Oh c'mon!" Aki pouts. "Live a life!" 

"We're only five." 

"Exactly." 

When will he ever get a break? Kitsu groans once more. He knows kids like Aki won't give up until they get what they want. They'll keep insisting until your ears fall off from their megaphone-like yells as they force you to give in to what they want. How does he know that? Let's just say his sister is one of those persistent children.

He lets out one last groan of frustration before he gives in. "After this, will you leave us alone?"

"Yes, yes!" Aki nods his head excessively. The way his head bobs up up and down in such a fast pace makes Kitsu want to vomit. It was too animated. 

"Fine..."

"YES, YES!" Aki puts his fist up in joyous success.

Kitsu was starting to think that this was a bad idea.

\---

The little fox finds himself trying to maintain a good distance from the rest of the kids. He was siting way behind Sumi, with a cushion separating him from the floor. He sticks as close to his sister, because if ever his germaphobia starts, she is most likely the closest person who can really pacify him.

Aki is seated beside Sumi, and they were talking about how their parents go 'whoosh whoosh' everytime they hit the ball. Sumi is indeed a fast learner, because during just a few hours in the party, she learned how to decipher the ununderstandable language of onomatopoeia that Aki got from his father.

From across them, their Natsu-onee was holding Hiroyo in her arms as the little celebrant just laughed at the lively conversation of the ravenette and the heterochromatic boy. And beside Natsu, Yuka is trying her best to translate the whole thing to Anton. For a while there she cursed her father. Yes, she does know English, but language is not something she's best at. If they talked about dinosaurs then she would gladly be amenable.

Soon, Himeko arrives and sat down on the other side of Sumi. She rubs her head in order to alleviate the pain.

"You... Okay?" Sumi asks in English.

"No. I hate papa." The other girl responds in the same language and a pout follows.

Soon, Shino and another girl with dusty rose hair joins in, who Kitsu recognizes as Keiko. 

"Kitsu's here?" Shino expresses his disbelief. "How?" 

"I forced him to!" Aki beams. 

"That's not very nice." Keiko comments. Just like her mother, she is the archetypal of kindness. 

"Hey. At least he's here!" Aki pouts. 

"It's okay Keiko-chan. Kitsu needs friends anyways." Sumi giggles. 

"No. I need to go home." The mentioned person says nonchalantly.

"Anyways! We're all here! Let's play as a group!" Aki initiates. 

"What would you want to play, kids?" Natsu asks. 

"Natsu-onee! Let's play jenga!" Yuka suggests. 

"Who?" Kitsu whispers to his sister, clearly confused of the redhead in front of them. "She looks like uncle Sho." 

This is their first time seeing Natsu. This is somewhat their second time socializing with acquaintances in Tokyo (acquaintances that include children and adults other than their uncles) so they have no clue who she is. 

"She does. I don't know her. The others call her Natsu-neesan." Sumi whispers back. Their attempt in the secretive conversation failed as the older heard it. 

"I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself to you two yet." Natsu smiles as she holds Hiro, who also smiles. This family is too damn bright and precious. "I'm Hinata Natsu, Shoyou-nii's younger sister. You can call me Natsu-oneesan!" 

"Nice to meet you! I'm Sumi, this is Kitsu." The ravenette beams. 

"So I heard." The redhead chuckles. "You must be Sakusa-san and Atsumu-san's kids, right?" She asks once more as they both nod.

"I'm with Yuka. Let's play Jenga." Shino accedes.

"I'll just watch." Kitsu deadpans. "I'm not touching anything." 

"Don't. be. a kill joy." Sumi scolds whisper-like in between gritted teeth. 

"It won't be fun if we won't all join." Said Keiko.

"What are they saying?" Himeko whispers to the twins. Of course, in English. 

"They want to play Jenga." Kitsu responds back in the same language. "And who are you?"

"She's Iwaizumi Himeko. She can't understand Japanese." Sumi answers in Japanese.

The raven looks back at the brunette, with a look of disbelief. Switching to English he asks mockingly. "You're Japanese... But you don't know Japanese?" 

"Hey! I grew up in the Philippines!"

"Philippines?" He asks. 

"It's a country. Mama said." Sumi responds in Japanese.

"People in Philippines... What are they?" Kitsu reverted back to the universal language as he asks.

"Filipino."

"You're not Filipino." Kitsu deadpans.

"Excuse me-???" Himeko snaps. She follows her mother's dramatic expression. "I'm one-fourth?" 

"Stop pretending." 

"Isusumbong kita kay papa! Hmph!" The brunette crosses her arms as she turns away. (I'm telling on papa! Hmph!) 

"What did she say?" Kitsu asks his sister in Japanese.

"I don't even understand some of her English." 

Indeed, Sumi doesn't understand everything. Her English is not so good compared to Yuka's. She wouldn't want to admit it, but she was having a hard time understanding Himeko. 

"Hm, I agree. You kids have to do something that everyone can agree on." Natsu says. Not long after, she hears her brother calling her, asking for her assistance with the ice cream. She gets up and hands Hiroyo to Shino. "Do you guys want ice cream?"

"Ice cream!" Aki exclaims, his voice just as loud as excitement fills it.

Yuka translates the phrase to Anton, in which his eyes sparkle afterwards. "I want ice cream too miss." He says in English to Natsu, to which the older nods fondly.

"Ice cream? Gusto ko!" Himeko follows. (Ice cream? I want!) 

"I'm assuming that means you want one too?" Natsu asks in the universal language. The brunette only nods as enthusiastic as she can. 

The other kids express their accord to the frosty treat as the redhead leaves with a promise to bring some to them.

"So what can we do right now? Kitsu doesn't want to play jenga." Yuka asks.

"You don't have to listen to nee-chan, I'm fine with watching." Kitsu says with a vein popping out of his forehead. These kids just can't get the clue that he would want nothing to do with any of their shenanigans. As long as he's with his sister, he's fine.

"But Kitsu will be sad!" Keiko says and for a moment there, the raven wished his sister would be more considerate of his feelings like her. Scratch that, he wants to trade Sumi for Keiko.

"Leave him be." Sumi says and the boy behind her couldn't be more right.

"What about we talk?" Shino asks. Hiroyo claps her hands and giggles in agreement.

"About?" Yuka inquires. 

"Anything." 

"That's boring!" Aki whines. 

"It could be anything, anything you want it to be." Shino attempts to pacify the owl. 

"Alright!" Aki snaps out of his tantrum. "Mama loves papa sooo much! Even if he doesn't show it!" 

"Same." Yuka calmly says with a faint smile. "Mommy's really mean to daddy, but daddy likes it. Mommy calls him a masochist." 

"Maso... chist?" 

"Someone who likes pain." 

"That's... weird." 

"I know, but daddy loves it!" Yuka says with too much excitement for someone bragging about masochism. It's a weird flex but okay. 

"Mama and papa fight everyday but they love to cuddle." Shino chuckles at the memory. And his laugh is shared with Hiroyo.

"Your parents fight? Mine don't." Keiko says. "They love each other very much."

Yuka once again translates everything to a confused Anton, in which he answers. "Ah! Sometimes papa would carry mama and he would spin them around. Mama would go all red!"

Himeko, who managed to hear Yuka's translation, chimes in. "Papa loves to ignore mommy, but he really likes to protect him! They fight a lot too." 

Soon, all of them were talking about how much their parents love each other. They were talking about how they were brought into this world because of their love. It was really heartwarming to see kids appreciate something so complicated. 

But the twins were silent. 

There was never a time when they saw their mother and father happy together. 

Sumi clutches the skirt of her pinafore. She looks down to avoid eye contact. These kids are smart enough to notice that something's wrong just by a single glance at her eyes. So, she avoids eveything. 

"How about you, Kitsu, Sumi?" Keiko asks the million dollar question, oblivious to the displeasure of the two. 

"Eh... Haha..." The ravenette starts, because in situations like this, she always finds an excuse for both of them. Her twin doesn't do the talking, so she has to. They're a pair. Sumi entertains and Kitsu observes. 

But this time, she finds no excuse. She couldn't think straight at all. 

Desperate to get all expectant eyes off them, she changes the topic. 

"Uhmm... Yuka! Tell us more about your parents' date in America!"

This is very unlikely. Kitsu knows his sister loves and thrives off of attention, just like Atsumu. There isn't a time where she doesn't demand the spotlight. She's very noisy and she brags about everything she has to her disposal. She never throws away an opportunity to show off, she invests in it instead. 

What would they show off exactly? Well again, just like her mother, Sumi is a very good liar and pretender. People believe into her lies easily. Because, who wouldn't believe such an innocent and beautiful child? She can brag about a variety of things that isn't even true, because her fabricated lies are so well thought of for her age. So, she can lie about their parents loving each other, just to show how much perfect their family is. 

But must I say that the four of them are a nonexistent family? 

Their family is a lie. 

Kitsu knows that everything is wrong when Sumi hesitates and passes the spotlight to someone else, all without spreading sweet lies that only polish her image. Without caring of microorganisms that are as deadly as E.coli, he puts his hand on her back, just below her shoulder in an effort to show reassurance.

'Don't feel like you're the only one. That's why you were born with a twin.' Is what that gesture meant to say.

"Nuh uh, tell us about your parents first!" Yuka insists.

"Ah... Ya see..." It is notable when nervous, sometimes Sumi's Kansai accent will make an appearance.

"Don't tell me your parents don't love each other!" Aki gasps, rather insensitively, which earns a smack from Yuka.

"Don't say that!" The blonde scolds. "Of course they love each other! If they don't, the twins wouldn't be here now!"

But the thing is, not all children are a product of love. This is one thing that makes love so complicated. Some kids are a product of lust, which is love's unholy sister. That's how the twins came to be, anyways.

Children are so innocent. It hurts to see that innocence fade as they grow.

"So, tell us Sumi, Kitsu." Shino says enthusiastically because the topic of affection sparks interest in him.

Sumi gave up. She has no excuse, no lie, no fabrication of the truth to use. She can't think of a way around this. And in rare times like this, Kitsu knows it's his turn to take action.

But he can't think of anything either.

"That's enough for now. Natsu-onee couldn't carry all the ice cream, why don't you guys go to her?" 

A voice interrupts. They all turn to see the eldest possible child here, Sawamura Kazuyuki who is eleven. Once again, he is Daichi and Koushi's first born and older brother to Keiko. 

The children race to the direction given by the eldest, eager to get their hands on the cool treat. Once they were all gone, the twins remained, stunned by the sudden interrogation earlier. They couldn't move because they were busy in their own world, trying to figure out what went down between their parents.

Although Kiyoomi apologized, he never gave the reason for why he wasn't there with them from when they were born, to their fifth birthday, only to show up spontaneously. It remains a mystery to them, a gap that can only be filled with their imagination. But even a kid's imagination is limited.

"Hey." Kazuyuki crouched down to them. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, okay? It's okay to say no. Your privacy has to be respected." 

They both nod slowly, avoiding eye contact because of shame. Shame that they were kids of two different people who have no ties with each other. Shame that they killed the fun in the conversation. Shame that they burdened almost everyone around them.

"Are you guys good?" 

They nod again. 

"Sure? Answer me." Kazuyuki asks softly. 

"Yes... Thanks." Kitsu says. 

"Great. Want some ice cream?" The older says as he gets up and motions them to follow. 

Kitsu turns to his sister. She is still unresponsive and this is another unlikely thing of her. So, he excuses them. "It's okay. We'll go there if ever we want some." 

Kazuyuki nods as he leaves to take care of the other children. 

Once the two were alone, Sumi starts to speak. "Home." 

"Hmm, we're going home onee-chan?" Kitsu asks. The ravenette loves to brag about how she's older than her twin, so she jokingly insists to be called onee-chan to which Kitsu obviously doesn't play along. 

But maybe for once, he will abide with his sister's buffoonery.

Sumi smiles a bit and nods. "Ototo, let's go home." (Ototo is japanese for little brother)

"Sure. I'll look for papa."

\---

Kiyoomi was deep in conversation with Wakatoshi, who managed to stop by at the party. The other ace confirms that indeed, the rumours are true. He has mated with Satori, and the omega is carrying his child.

Suddenly, the twins came and then the raven introduced them to the other alpha.

"You have kids?"

"Yes. Don't ask."

At the same time, Wakatoshi received a call from his Satori, the redhead yelling at him through the phone because of these pregnancy moods. He was going on about how the alpha takes so long, and how he was 'lonely'. Amused by how clingy his omega was, the spiker chuckles and excuses himself.

"You two have been awfully silent. Something wrong?" Kiyoomi asks.

"We want to go home." They respond in unison.

The alpha made no effort to hide his shock. "Even you Sumi?"

The ravenette nods. Something is wrong because of this sudden shift in her behavior. "Tell me what happened first."

"We were talking with the others kids and then they started talking about their parents together and... We got nothing to offer." Sumi lets everything out as she avoids her father's gaze. 

And now, it was Kiyoomi's time to stay silent.

The gods won't give him a rest, won't they? Guilt continues to pour down on him, a never ending rain shower. But he deserves it.

For the second time today, he tells himself that it's all his fault.

"Let's look for your mother first, shall we?"

\---

"I hope Anton doesn't inherit yer height."

"I hope your twins don't inherit your brattiness."

"It's hard to hope for the impossible, Yakkun."

"Oh well. That's unfortunate. They're such smart kids, but for them to be as cynical as their mother..." Morisuke teases.

Atsumu laughs acerbically at this. "I pity Lev-kun though. Imagine havin' a height of almost two meters jus' for yer son to be 1.6 meters..."

"Oh! Then how about Sakusa-san? How ever will he deal with two mini Atsumus?" Morisuke sighs dramatically. 

This is when the blond smirks rather adversely. It made the shorter a bit frightened. "No need to worry Yakkun, Sakusa-san won't be dealin' with them. We'll be out of the country before he cou' even notice."

Here Morisuke gets confused. One, why did the setter address the spiker with the formal 'Sakusa-san', instead of these annoying (yet kind of catchy) nicknames? What happened to Omi-omi, Omi-kun and all its variations? Two, what does it mean when they'll be 'out of the country'? Third, why does he seem so accomplished when saying this? It even seems like he's looking forward to it. It almost seems as if they aren't married.

But wait. Atsumu still has the Miya last name.

"You aren't married?"

Atsumu just laughs at this. "Yer killin' me here Yakkun!"

"Why are you laughing?"

The blond recovers as his sly hooded eyes meet the libero's. "We aren't even dating."

"What?" Morisuke asks, his head spinning due to pure confusion. 

"'neways, enough about me! Tell me how's life at Russia!" The setter shrugs off the previous topic. 

Morisuke wants to know more about what Atsumu meant by what he said earlier. But then again, this man is as stubborn as a rock, so he doesn't push it. The blond would keep insisting anyways to change the topic in indirect ways.

They continue their chat, mostly just Atsumu checking on the national team, on Lev's modeling ambassadorships, just anything about Morisuke, eager to get the conversation as far from him as possible. It wasn't until they both caught the very familiar lavender scent.

Their assumptions were proved correct when they turned to see Kiyoomi. 

"Ah, Sakusa-san, what brings ya here?" Atsumu asks politely.

"The kids want go home."

"Hmm really? Even Sumi?"

"Even Sumi."

The setter's brows then scrunch together in worry. "Is there something wrong?"

"I guess." 

"Where are the kids now?" Atsumu rushes, maternal instincts kicking in.

"They didn't want to walk around so I made them sit down." 

"They really must be tired, huh?"

Kiyoomi shrugs.

Morisuke looks back and forth at the two. There was no way in God's holy heaven that the two of them aren't a thing. 

"Should we go now? I'm afraid I'd be spoilin' Shokkun's fun." The blond frowns.

"Don't worry, I'll explain things to him. He'll understand." Kiyoomi reassures.

Atsumu turns to the other omega. "'m sorry Yakkun, we have to go. I'll talk to ya next time."

"It's alright. But next time we talk, it's all about you. I don't want to be bragging about Lyovochka's modeling campaigns again." Morisuke sighs. He thinks his husband doesn't deserve all this praise because the omega is having a hard time dealing with his alpha's immature, crackhead nature. 

Atsumu gulps at this. Morisuke knows that he was avoiding conversations orbiting around the blond. Regardless, he nods and only hopes that he won't have to talk privately with the libero again.

Morisuke says goodbye to both the alpha and the other omega and the two look for their children.

Once they found the twins, Atsumu crouches down to look at his daughter. He then asks softly "Everythin' okay sugarcube?"

"Yeah, just tired." Sumi smiles, not wanting to burden her mother more.

"How about you, Kitsu?" The blond turns to the other child.

"Same."

Atsumu sighs. "I knew you two shouldn't 've slept late last night."

"We're not going back to Sendai yet. I hafta get us train tickets." The blond continues.

"They can stay with me for the meantime." Kiyoomi suggests.

"That's a good idea!" Kitsu beams, knowing that there is no place cleaner than the living space of the person he got his germ aversion from. It might seem out of character for him to seem so interested in something, but really, if there's another place he trusts other than their home and Osamu's, it has to be Kiyoomi's. 

"We're only burdening ya' more, Sakusa-san. That won't be neces-"

"No, I insist."

Another sigh from the setter.

\---

After excusing themselves, Atsumu and Kiyoomi wished one last happy birthday to Hiroyo before they left the Kageyama residence. Kiyoomi managed to secretly inform Shouyou and Tobio that he'll explain everything in the group chat. 

The ride to Kiyoomi's apartment was silent. When they arrived, Atsumu can feel like it wasn't a good idea for him to tag along. As they neared the place where his relationship with the spiker got crushed, he feels more anxious with each step. He tried to convince himself that 'this is for the kids, be the best parent you can be' and somehow, that eased him, even if only a bit. 

Well, the thin wall of ease in his mind came crumbling down once Kiyoomi opened the door, the living room coming into view. 

A sense of nostalgia floods the blond. And it isn't the good type of nostalgia. 

The memory of Kiyoomi yelling at him to leave and even abort the kids is something that makes him want to wake up with amnesia. 

"You have a nice home papa." Sumi comments as she looks around. 

"It's very clean." Kitsu nods in approval. 

As the three were getting inside, Atsumu's trauma starts to act up. He stood there, frozen. 

"Mama, are you gonna come in?" Sumi tilts her head, amber eyes filled with confusion on why her mother won't move a muscle. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Why?" Kitsu asks

"I'm not goin' in there." 

"Why?" Sumi asks. 

"I don't want to." 

"Why?" Both kids ask in unison. 

"I-I... I just..." Atsumu starts, but he doesn't know what to say. None of those children knew what happened. They don't know how their father wanted them dead. They don't know that the last time their mother was here, he was on his knees, begging to be heard. 

The memory taunts Atsumu. It never lets him live in peace. 

"Miya, I know you're bothered, but it's okay now. Nothing bad will happen." Kiyoomi reassures softly, knowing exactly the weight of the trauma he caused. 

"No Omi, I'm not going back in there." Atsumu says with his most determined voice, which is still very shaky. But beggars can't be choosers, so the blond says what he wants to say, even with the fear coating his accent. 

At this point, he isn't even aware of the nickname that slipped out. 

"Please—" 

"I told ya, I'm not going in there." 

"But—" 

"I trust ya take care of the kids. Bring them to Sendai tomorrow. I'm going to have 'Samu send their clothes and essentials here." The omega rushes, then he crouches down once more to level with the kids. "Please behave, don't give your father trouble. I'll see ya tomorrow, okay?" 

"Mamaaa... Stay." Sumi pleads. 

"I'm sorry, I can't." Atsumu smiles sadly. This PTSD isn't allowing him to. "You'll be alright."

"How about you Kitsu? Anything ya need?" The setter turns to the other twin.

"I need you to stay." He pouts.

"Maybe next time." Atsumu chuckles as he ruffles his son's hair.

"Hey, you sure about this?" Kiyoomi asks.

"Don't worry Sakusa-san, one day I'll be able to walk back in that living room without shaking in fear." The blond jokes. "I'll be taking my leave."

"Hey, I'll see you two soon?" 

"If you must." Kitsu grumbles, disappointed that half of his adumbrated plan did not work. 

"Mamaaaa...." Sumi whines. 

Atsumu only chuckles as he takes turns in kissing them both in the forehead. He loves them too much that he never wants to let them go. "It's only for a night, I promise." 

Then, they bid goodbye to Atsumu's retreating figure. As soon as the blind was gone, Kiyoomi invited the kids inside. 

"You must be tired, I'll prepare a guest room for you." 

"I don't get why mama doesn't want to stay with us." Sumi pouts and crosses her arms. 

"He's been through... a lot. You know that right?" Kiyoomi asks softly. "Let's give him time and he'll heal." 

"Yeah... We do." 

After the alpha finishes preparing, he invites the kids in. Both twins look hesitant, so he asks if there's anything wrong. 

"Ah... Papa, can we sleep with you?" Sumi asks. 

The little boy jabs his sister with a clothed elbow. "You idiot! Why did you ask that!" 

"I just feel safe with papa okay?" The little girl retorts. She whispers the next part almost inaudibly. "Besides, mama's not here..." 

Kiyoomi smiles softly. He never thought he'd be so soft with children considering how most of them cry annoyingly everyday, twenty four-seven. But as he approaches the two, he feels genuine fondness.

"Hey, it's okay." He whispers with all tenderness. "You can sleep with me, I'll keep you two warm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm going to prove Atsumu that I'll be the best father ever." Kiyoomi says with a challenging smile, looking his proudest.

Both children giggle at this. "If you can then I'll be happy." Sumi says.

"But in the meantime, you two should sleep. I'll wake you up for dinner later and then we can play some puzzles."

"You have puzzles?" Sumi beams, her eyes literally sparkling.

"Actually your love of puzzles came from me." Kiyoomi chuckles, which is very off character for him. "And Kitsu, I'll try to be a better teacher than your uncle Kei."

"Goodluck." Kitsu smirks cheekily and the spiker can see Atsumu in him.

Kiyoomi playfully rolls his eyes. "Tomorrow before we leave, we'll go to the mall."

"Really?!" The ravenette couldn't conceal her sudden gasp and excitement.

"Yes, that's why you have to sleep first. You kids should go to my room, I have to talk to my cousin first."

Both of them race to the alpha's room, and when they same the ginormous and fluffly bed, they can't help but bounce as enthusiastically as the five little monkeys did. They also took the the sheets' fresh smell of lavender, the scent of their father.

Once they were sure Kiyoomi was far far away to hear them, Sumi closed the door before returning to the bed. "What did you want to tell me earlier?"

Kitsu frowns as he's reminded of that. "We have to get mama and papa together!" 

"Huh?" 

"You know that they love each other right?" 

"Papa does, but mama..." Sumi starts. "He's ignoring papa." 

"You think I don't know that?" Kitsu looks at his sister in disbelief. 

"Oh right, you're smarter than me." The ravenette rolls her eyes. Her sarcasm really is annoying the hell out of her brother. "But yeah! Let's make mama fall in love!"

"Do you even know what love is?"

"Papa told us but before that, I already knew!"

"Oh really?" Kitsu snickers.

"Yeah! Ruru let me see her princess story book!"

"And?"

"The Princess falls in love with the Prince!"

"And?" 

"I know things about love!" 

"And why is that?" 

"Because I'm a princess!" 

"Really? You look like a maid." Kitsu has a dangerous smirk. 

"No I don't!" 

"You do." 

"I don't!" 

"You do." 

"I don't!" 

"You don't." 

"I do!" 

"Got you." The little boy reveals his trap as he bursts out laughing. His sister though, is not quite happy about this. 

Not long, he can feel a hand on his bare skin. He didn't get it at first. "What's this?" 

"Try to guess." Sumi challenges. 

The little fox thinks and thinks until he comes to a realization. The color drains away from his face, making him even more paler than he looks. His eyes widen as his pupils do the opposite. "Wait, don't tell me—" 

"I didn't wash my hands." The ravenette says painfully slowly with a victorious smirk. 

"SUUUMMIIIIII!!!" Her brother cries as the little girl was literally rolling with laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized how ooc atsumu and sakusa are here lololol. I'll have to add that in the tags.
> 
> It think next chap will be out on my birthday? Im not sure, but I'm writing it currently haha. And I felt like this fic wasn't an omegaverse because I haven't mentioned their scents. I think sakusa has a soothing lavender one and atsumu has a forest and citrus type. I might change this later dsisjdjdjdksj
> 
> Thanks for reading! See you in the next chapter 💕


	14. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trauma — that's the summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very painful to write lmao, too painful that i couldnt think of a good summary
> 
> The usual; I can't edit shit, so you're goina have to bear with typos and wrong grammar. Imagine it was non existent just like my lack of shame lol

[Three couples and a single bitch]

[Kuroo Tetsurou added Haiba Morisuke]

Koko: ohaYOUUU SEKAI GOOD MORNING WORLD

Moonsalt🌙: it's afternoon???

Koko: woahh! Yakkun's here!

Boke: hi everything 💗

Boke: YAKUSAN YAKUSAN YAKUSAN

Haiba Morisuke: good afternoon shou, good morning kou

Haiba Morisuke: is this the group chat you were talking about?

Kuroo Tetsurou: yeah, aka help kick the single away from omi's ass

Kuroo Tetsurou: we're trying to get him back with atsumu

Haiba Morisuke: i am confusion

Haiba Morisuke: WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN THOSE TWO

Jiji🦉: im not sure if adding more people to this agenda is a good idea

Koko: cmon! yakkun might be able to help

Jiji🦉: how, exactly? i mean no offense to you, morisuke-san

Haiba Morisuke: nah, its alright. i know how meticulous u r, keiji-san

Boke: well, yakkun's here already so kicking him out would be a shame :(((

Jiji🦉: can't argue with that

Koko: and again, yakkun might be able to help!

Koko: wait, kuroo u made a mistake

Kuroo Tetsurou: everything u see in me is a mistake... ✋😔

Koko: bro...😢

Koko: we talked about this ☹️

Kuroo Tetsurou: can't help it bro🖐️😔

Moonsalt🌙: wait kou, werent u angry at him because of ur pizza?

Koko: oh yeah...

Koko: yeah, everything about u is a mistake.

Jiji🦉: KOUTAROU

Boke: LMAOOO THERE WAS EVEN A PERIOD

Boke: i'm dead 💀

Kuroo Tetsurou: heart been broke...

Kuroo Tetsurou: kei why did u have to remind him???

Moonsalt🌙: because i love you hun🥰

Kuroo Tetsurou: uHm, how is that-???

Koko: N E ways, kuroo u didn't add lev

Me: do we really need lev in this?

Koko: OMI HELLOOO

Haiba Morisuke: wait, sakusa-san is here??

Kuroo Tetsurou: ofc, he's the one in need of assistance

Kuroo Tetsurou: what did u expect?

Haiba Morisuke: i thought u were doing this in secret

Haiba Morisuke: sakusa-san are u okay with this?

Me: its them who decided to waste their time on me. couldnt be more grateful

Haiba Morisuke: why do i sense heavy sarcasm?

Me: because there is heavy sarcasm.

Kuroo Tetsurou: ...

Koko: ...

Boke: ...

Moonsalt: thank you for shutting up the idiots, sakusa-san

Me: pleasure, kei-san

Jiji🦉: FINALLY the sane people are talking

Baka: should we add lev?

Koko: ILL ADD HIM

Me: koutarou, wait-

[Koko added Haiba Lev]

Haiba Lev: HEY HEY HEY!

Haiba Lev: did i say that right?

Koko: you did!!!

Haiba Lev: oh!! and kageyama-san!

Baka: yes?

Boke: yeah?

Haiba Lev: oh right, there are two kageyamas now...

Moonsalt🌙: a moment of silence for these two idiots

Boke: oh shut up

Haiba Lev: anyways, i was talking to tobio-san!

Haiba Lev: i forgot to mention this awhile ago but

Haiba Lev: I guess we're brothers in law? 

Baka: ...what?

Haiba Lev: your sister didnt tell you?

Haiba Lev: neesan and miwa-san revealed their secret relationship three days ago!

Baka: WHAT?!

Baka: HOW LONG?

Haiba Lev: 4 years!

Baka: WHAT?!?!?!

Jiji🦉: im impressed they managed to hide it for 4 years

Kuroo Tetsurou: ^

Baka: NEESAN HAS BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH FROM JAPAN TO RUSSIA- 

Baka: FOR FOUR YEARS-

Baka: JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS FUCKING A MODEL?!

Boke: u really had to stir up a profanity there

Moonsalt🌙: ^ the only time hinata was actually being a rational person

Boke: HEY

Koko: HEY HEY

Moonsalt🌙: the noise in this bus is astronomical

Boke: this is a chat???

Kuroo Tetsurou: rip in peace chibi-chan

Haiba Lev: you dont approve of their relationship?

Baka: of course i do. im just mad that i had to hear if from u instead of her telling me

Haiba Morisuke: anyways,

Haiba Morisuke: i still dont get it? what happened and why do u have twins @penguin🐧

Me: oh my god i hate it here

Me: why do i have to explain something im really regretting?

Koko: ill explain it for u omi!!

Me: please do

Koko: ill pm you yakkun, tell lev next

Haiba Morisuke: sure

Kiyoomi turns his phone off as soon as the most random shenanigans appear at the screen in courtesy of Shouyou, Tetsurou and Koutarou (somehow he manages to multitask chatting Morisuke and chatting in the group chat). He checks the time. It's around three in the afternoon and the twins are asleep. Not soon, he receives a message.

Unknown number: good afternoon sakusa-san. this is miya osamu. atsumu asked me to check on the twins later. I'll be passing by your complex to bring their essentials.

Kiyoomi blinks before he responds.

Me: sure, I'll send you the address 

After sending the address, he feels the weight of a stare behind the couch he sits at. The stare is calm and collected, and with that hint alone, Kiyoomi was sure of which twin it is. "Can't sleep, Kitsu?"

"Woke up."

"Come here." Kiyoomi motions for the boy to approach him. Knowing that the couch is clean, the little boy sits beside his father. "What do you want to do now?"

"What can I do?"

"Watch? I guess?" The alpha suggests to which he was given a nod as a response. "Is there anything in particular that you would want to watch?"

Kitsu juts his lower lip out as he thinks of things he wants to watch. Kiyoomi also thought of what show preferences the little boy has. Considering that his acumen is quite high for his age, he thought of wildlife documentaries and Discovery Channel. It would seem more sensible if that were the case.

"Peppa pig." Kitsu says.

Kiyoomi did not expect that. He blinks at his son's request.

"Are you surprised?" Kitsu cocks a brow and Kiyoomi sees a very curious Atsumu. "I can't understand doku—ah..."

"Documentaries?"

"Do-kumenta-is."

Close enough, Kiyoomi nods.

(The alpha admits that it's quite stupid for him to think that a five year old will be compliant in watching documentaries.)

He takes the remote and goes to YouTube, because he isn't subscribed to any cartoon channels in his channel provider (seeing as he does not have any kids living with him). After finding a video of a Peppa pig compilation, he asks. "It's unlikely for you to be watching this kind of cartoon, why do you watch it?"

"I learn my English here." Kitsu responds flatly as his focus diverts to the introduction of Peppa's family. (Hi, I'm peppa pig 'snort'—)

"That's... A creative way of learning." It's kind of genius if Kiyoomi says so himself.

"It's mama's idea. But I like watching the show too." Says the little boy, eyes still glued on the screen.

"Anything else you'd want?" Kiyoomi asks.

"Milk."

The alpha makes his way to the kitchen to pour some fresh milk and even serve some cookies. The duo truly is a kid's all-time favourite. He puts it in the living room table in front of the couch as Kitsu thanks him despite being observed in the show. That's when Kiyoomi's phone buzzes.

Haiba Morisuke: SAKUSA YOU DICK

Kiyoomi sighs.

Kuroo Tetsurou: woah, woAh calm ur tits yakkun

Me: i expected that reaction

Haiba Morisuke: im not really a fan of defending atsumu but

Me: go on

Haiba Morisuke: ROT IN HELL

Me: what else?

Haiba Morisuke: I WONT REPEAT WHAT UVE DONE FOR A MULTITUDE OF REASONS BUT

Haiba Morisuke: IF I WERE ATSUMU, I WOULDVE MOVED TO CANADA IMMEDIATELY

Koko: yakkun that's too harsh :(((

Me: leave him kou, i deserve it

Kuroo Tetsurou: hey! he's trying to redeem himself

Koko: then we continue the endeavour redemption arc

Me: you have all the reason to be mad at me, morisuke-san

Kiyoomi doesn't like running away nor avoiding his mistakes. He stands tall and faces them with his all his honor. The only time he ran away was when he learned about Atsumu five years ago, and that was not a glorious first for him.

Kiyoomi's thoughts disappeared as a loud sob was heard from the bedroom. Acting on his twin instincts, Kitsu's eyes widened immediately as he dashes to his sister without wasting a second. Kiyoomi follows.

As they open the door to the bedroom, the little girl comes in view. She was sitting up as clutches the blanket to the point where her knuckles go white, she was shaking tremendously and her head was bowed as ebony curls graciously fall in front of her, covering her face. She was paler than the usual, and that alone made Kiyoomi and Kitsu worry.

They can hear soft sniffs, so Kitsu gets on the bed, rubbing her the ravenette's shoulders. "Nightmare?"

A soft nod accompanied by a sniff was the only response he got.

"The normal?"

Same response.

"Don't worry papa, it's just her normal nightmare. She'll get over it." Kitsu reassures, still massaging her shoulders.

That didn't ease the alpha one bit. He approaches Sumi and puts both hands on her sides, carrying her. She settles in his left arm as his right hand reaches to tuck the curls away. The look on her face tells a story, it was so broken and pained, that Kiyoomi's heart tugged painfully. The least bit of yellow in her pupils is gone and her eyes are coated with moisture. She wraps her arms around her father neck and hides her face.

"Papa... Mama hates me..."

\---

Sumi is a very cheerful girl. She likes to laugh at affronts and accost people if ever she doesn't like a particular thing about them. But she has one weakness. This weakness will forever remain in her unless the memory triggering it would vanish.

She would tear up and this single memory and on some nights, in her nightmares, she would break down completely. Crying and crying to the point where it woke her brother up. She hold on tight to him, never to let go, as if he was the only person she could rely on.

What was the memory?

Atsumu loves his children so much. He was an assiduous parent, working here and there just to give his kids the best life he could. He tries his best to spread positivity and he would always reminds them to not focus on what they don't have, but be grateful with what they do. But alas, the weight of his past won't let him go that easily. On some occasions where his PTSD is too much, it completely overwhelms him to the point where he developed another personality of hostility.

It was one day. They just finished dinner and went to the living room to watch some volleyball. It was a match between the Schwieden Adlers and his previous team, the Black Jackals.

"Tobio-kun's serves always scare me." Atsumu chuckles.

Kitsu looks at his mother questioningly, a brow raised to further indicate his confusion. "Uncle Samu said you had deadly serves too?"

Albeit a bit awkward, the omega chuckled once more. "He's lyin'. I would've been a Division 1 player if that was the case." The blond knows deep in his heart that he's lying.

The little boy shrugs as he continues watching.

"Oh! Number 15 had a s-ser... Ser... What do you call it again?" Sumi enthusiastically asks.

"Service ace." Atsumu corrects nonchalantly.

'Stop.' Begs the conflicted mind of one who was traumatized by his past.

"He's the one with the weird hands, right?" Kitsu asks, only fueling the flames that burns the shipwreck in the depths of the blond's unforgivable past.

'Stop it. Stop. Stop talking about him'

"People say we look like him." Sumi says innocently with her beautiful doll eyes gleaming in awe. "That's very nice of them to say."

"Why?" Her brother asks once more.

"Because he's very handsome!" The ravenette beams, lovely curls bouncing over the small of her back.

Indeed he is. Atsumu's mind can't help but reminisce how gorgeous Kiyoomi is. From the very top strand of rich black curls, to his shoulder-to-waist ratio, to his slender hands (which was miraculously bigger than Atsumu's) that used to sometimes lock his hips roughly and in other times, leave tender touches all over, as if he was actually in love with the setter.

Except he was not.

Or at least that was what the omega thought.

But then again, if he was, then why did he throw Atsumu away?

It's starting again. The overthinking and unease leaves him as a slave to anxiety once more. As he thought he was getting better, one of the worst panic attacks visit him tonight, demanding to be attended to.

So he gives in. Because once again, he is a slave to anxiety.

"I'm not feelin' well. 'M goin' ahead to bed." He excuses himself. "When both of you are finished, kindly close the TV 'n head straight to bed, kay?"

Both children nod, but they can't help but be curious at their mother's sudden change of mood. They can sense that something's wrong. And the omega himself can sense their curiosity. But he doesn't mind it. Instead, he feeds his attention to the demanding monster inside of him. He'll do everything just to make it stop. Please, make it stop.

Off to his room he goes, as he tries to defeat the malicious thoughts that hold him prisoner.

Not long after Atsumu left, the two children slowly become uninterested in the match. They couldn't understand almost everything without their mother explaining what was going on. They were only five. They know nothing at all.

Kitsu follows his mother's orders as he commands Sumi to turn off the TV (there is no way he is touching the remote), and goes to bed immediately. You can say he was really exhausted with all the socializing at school. It really just isn't his thing.

But Sumi was and will always be a big untamable ball of energy. Feeling restless, and very much worried for her mother, she decided to cheer him up. She scribbles on a paper with the contents of the little crayon box she has. She pours her heart on every little stroke, trying to display as much affection and appreciation she could on the dull piece of paper.

She will admit that she isn't as great of an artist as Kitsu is. He always comments on how animated her drawings are. He says they're too vibrant that they hurt his eyes. Too many arbitrary colors that don't match each other, and too much going on that he actually pities the paper she used. She would roll her eyes. It doesn't matter if her brother doesn't like it. As long as it appeases her mother, that would be enough.

She finishes a drawing of her, Kitsu and Atsumu. It was just as how she imagined her brother would comment it to be. Lively and too colorful to his liking. She scoffs the thought away as she makes her way to Atsumu's room. And just like she thought, she can hear soft weeps from the inside. She sighs. She doesn't want her mother to be hurt anymore.

She patiently waits for the omega to exit his room, siting beside his door. Her back scrunched up against the cold walls, and her knees infront of her. She clutched the drawing tightly because she was sure that her mother would like it. She was so sure that it would help him feel the slightest bit better.

A curl falls to her face. She pushes it away as her mind wanders to where she got them from. She was always called pretty because of the odd combination of her appearance. Big amber doll eyes, gorgeous black curls and soft, pale baby skin. Her thoughts were cut off when she hears the door open.

Immediately, she stands up and approaches the setter. "Mama, I have something for you!"

"Not now Sumi..." The blond groans almost inaudibly. He avoids facing her as he turns to leave.

"Please?" She gets closer and manages to catch his left arm. "Look! It's a drawing of-"

"I SAID NOT NOW." Atsumu yanks his hand away, making the little girl fall. He finally turns to look at her.

Sumi has never seen this side of the omega. Such hostility and hatred stained on his face, the very same face that she recognizes as the kindest once she knows. If looks could kill, she would be dead already, not living to reach her fifth birthday.

She didn't recognize her mother.

This is not mama. She tries to convince herself that.

With a trembling voice, she says. "Mama, you look scar-"

"Shut up and don't touch me." He cuts her off sternly. His face showing as much hatred and antagonism as earlier. As his brown orbs look down on his daughter, he forgot what she really meant to him.

Why? Because he sees him in her. He sees his curls in hers. He sees his complexion in hers. Everything about her looks like Kiyoomi. Everything.

But the only thing that he doesn't see in her that is the alpha's are those amber eyes. They stare back at him with horror, anguish, confusion, and even worry. For a while there, he sees himself. They have the very same shade of eyes, and the very same expression. He remembers the horror in his eyes when Kiyoomi told him to leave. He remembers the loss of someone he truly loves. He remembers the devastation and the grief. He remembers it all.

He remembers his foolishness.

He wants to forget. He wants to forget these stupid feelings, he wants to forget his face. He wants to forget Kiyoomi in general.

But then again, he sees him in their children.

"I hate you." He says with the coldest and most heartless tone of his voice. That was the same sweet voice Sumi got used too. The one that would sing her lullabies accompanied by the sweet melody of the guitar.

He enters his room again and slams the door. The poor girl couldn't do anything about it but cry on her way to her room.

The next day, the blond wakes up the sun's rays sneak into his window and land on his own golden hair. His eyes flutter open softly and he becomes aware of the weight on the left side of his bed, making the mattress uneven. He turns to see Sumi, sitting in a chair, her arms above the edge of the mattress, pillowing her head softly as she snores. Her curls fall, creating a halo of a raven's feathers that bring contradiction to the white purity of the sheets.

Atsumu's eyes widen as he comes to a realization that she might have been sleeping there the whole night. "Sumi? Yer neck and back's gonna cramp up! Don't sleep like that!" He panics.

The panic slowly wakes up the ravenette. She yawns as she lifts her head slowly. "Mama..."

"Goodness! Stay there, lemme carry ya to yer bed—"

"Do you really hate me?" She asks out of the blue. Her eyes become watery, brows furrowing to reveal a pained expression.

It all came and hit the omega like a truck. Everything he said last night flooded his mind only to be directed to the things he regret. His voice cracks. "No... No, I didn't mean that—"

The little girl bursts out sobbing. She has never heard anything as painful as what he said the night before. Atsumu scoops her up and holds her close. He starts to feel his own tears as well. "Mama's sorry, mama's so sorry... I love ya, I don't hate ya, please believe me this time—"

"W-was I a bad girl?"

"No, you were very good, and ya still are... I'm the one who's not good enough, please forgive me." He plants a kiss on the top of her head

His hand threads through her curls. It was in that moment that he decided that those curls shouldn't be associated with Kiyoomi.

What happened to the drawing, you ask? It was kept and hidden underneath the little girl's bed, never to be mentioned or thought of again due to the fear that it might inspire her mother's hostility and hatred to come back.

\---

After the narration of the little boy, Kiyoomi feels weak in his knees. He just wants to collapse. He never really thought the weight of the trauma he caused would lead to the blond acting this way.

"Papa... Are you okay?" Kitsu asks from beside his twin who is now drinking milk to pacify herself.

"This is my fault." He says quietly as he stares into empty space, both hands at the side of his head, securing his hair in a death grip. "I'm so—"

"Why are you saying sorry?" Kitsu asks.

"This is my fault." The alpha repeats, but with more confidence. "Don't hate your mother, hate me."

"We don't hate mama." Kitsu says. "Uncle Samu says he's been through a lot."

"And I put him through that." Kiyoomi confesses. He went silent for a while, not wanting to say the most hurtful truth to him. But alas, their children need to know. "I broke him."

Silence dominates the space between them.

"So you broke him..." Sumi starts, still not making eye contact with anyone. "But you can fix him... R-right?"

The alpha stops his brooding, a goal set in his mind. But a question remains in his head.

Can I truly fix him?

Maybe he can't.

\---

The doorbell rings. And Kiyoomi knows exactly who it is.

His hypothesis was proved correct as he opens the door to reveal Osamu, still in his Onigiri Miya shirt and cap. He was all black, a contradiction to the light clothes and the platinum blond hair Atsumu has.

"Good evening." The spiker greets as politely as he can. Things are still a bit awkward after what went down at the restaurant almost a month ago.

"Hello to ya to, Sakusa-san. I brought everything the kids—"

"Uncle Samu!" Both kids came dashing to meet their uncle. Osamu crouches down and welcomes them into his arms.

"Hiya! How are ya?" He greets with a genuine smile. Kiyoomi would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous. Osamu's eyes were the softest he's ever seen, and the twins just love his company.

"I brought yer stuff, just like what yer mother told me to."

"Is he home safely?" Sumi asks.

Osamu nods. "He's cleanin' currently."

"Uncle, come in!" Kitsu invites warmly.

"Nah, t'would be disrespectful to Sak-"

"I agree, come in." Kiyoomi repeats. He wants to gain Osamu's respect again. He wants to show him that he is capable of taking care of his brother.

The cook surrenders. "A'ight. F'ya say so."

While Kiyoomi prepares tea, the children tell Osamu all about their day at the party, how they met a lot of kids (Sumi likes to call them friends while Kitsu doesn't). When the tea is served, the spiker puts on a compilation of Ben and Holly to distract the two, in order for Osamu to indulge in his cup of tea.

The alphas sit on the couch, and although they're not quite close to each other, the distance between them is considerate for conversation. Osamu takes advantage of it. "Take care of 'em."

If it surprised Kiyoomi that the older engages him in conversation, he doesn't show it. With the usual stoic nature he has, he nods.

"'nd take care of 'Sumu too, especially 'Sumu."

Another nod, and then silence. The silence was getting awkward, and for once, Kiyoomi doesn't want silence. Without normally thinking seven times, the younger starts. "Sumi told me about her nightmare. Do you know of this?"

Osamu sips on his tea casually. For a moment, Kiyoomi was afraid that the shorter ignored him. He also considered that he wasn't able to hear the attempt in starting a conversation. But Kiyoomi's deep voice was something that almost everyone notices. It's intoxicating, and suited for him as he is an alpha. Osamu might be one too, but his voice has a less commanding tone in it. With all this is mind, he settles for the first option.

As he was about to give up, Osamu supplies him with an answer.

"That happened last year."

"Is Atsumu... Better now?" Kiyoomi hesitates.

"Definitely. But still not fully cured."

"Cured?" The spiker inquires once more.

"He has PTSD." Osamu says as if it's the most typical thing to say.

Kiyoomi blinks in shock. And then he looks down in guilt. At this point, the flow of regret that overfills his cup is now leaking down the table.

Osamu just can't get the clue as he keeps going. "Ya think Sumi's got it bad because she looks like ya', but wait til' ya hear bout Kitsu."

\---

About three months after what happened to Sumi, Atsumu got his heat. Using a high amount of surpressors is very lethal, and he couldn't afford the expensive ones that are safe and effective, so he abides with the greatest woe of being an omega.

The kids were at Osamu's. Usually, when one omega gets their heat, their children will be dropped off to a close friend's. When Atsumu gets his, the kids stay with Osamu and Rintarou. When Rintarou gets his, their child goes to Atsumu's. Because they live more than an hour apart, each kid has to give an excuse letter to their school and receive a multitude of assignments to do while they're away.

After this heat, Atsumu was feeling like he wasn't himself. He felt a lot of negative feelings. Usually, if an omega goes by their heat independently, they get more depressed.

When the kids came running upstairs to meet their mother, the blond tries his best to smile despite the hollowness in him. Osamu, who just arrived alongside the twins, was at the kitchen, preparing for something to drink, seeing the exhaustion of his brother.

As the blond was about to engulf both of them in a hug, the little boy flinched away. "Mama, are you clean?"

Everything in Atsumu snaps. He is once again reminded of the Kiyoomi. He doesn't want to be thinking about him after a depressing heat. He doesn't feel like himself today, so he wasn't truly aware of what he did next.

"Kitsu..."

The little boy looks, a questioning face matched with a 'hmm?'

"Let's get rid of yer germaphobia."

The omega says coldly, eyes void of life and meaning. Voice tainted with unsettling anonymity and facelessness. The person in him wasn't Atsumu. It was the antagonism in him.

Sumi's eyes widen in panic. She's seen this before. She's seen those amber eyes in their darkest, looking down at her with pure hatred. It was deja vu, it gave her a sense of nostalgia that she never wants to feel again.

She's seen this before, but Kitsu hasn't. He was confounded, perplexed by the unusual look on his kind mother's face.

Before the ravenette can warn him, strong hands lock his arms. Kitsu's confusion converts into fear. This time, it wasn't a fear of germs. It was the fear of his own parent.

"Wha- mama let go!"

Sumi ran her fastest downstairs, looking for the alpha that is her mother's twin. Kitsu thought that she fled, that she left him behind. But he has no time to feel betrayed as he squirms to get out of the blond's grasp. He can feel tears at the corner of his eyes, and he feels weak. He doesn't want to cry, he doesn't. It's so out of character for him.

But how can one not cry when they are being looked upon with such hostility and antipathy by their own mother?

"Mama, you're hurting me!" Kitsu shouts, as the hands only gripped tighter. But unfortunately, Atsumu just can't seem to escape the trance of hatred.

"Calm down, 'm gonna fix ya."

This 'calm down' was not like any other soothing and gentle phrase the omega says to pacify them. No, it was different. It was said as command of tranquility. It was like the calm before the storm. And Kitsu hates storms. They make him cry.

"If I did something bad, I'm sorry!" The little raven begs, as he continues to squirm around. He finally lets the tears fall. He finally admits to being weak. He is weak to the acrimony of the person who literally gave him life.

The little boy's agony came to an end as he heard a harsh contact of skin. By then, the grip on his wrists loosened and retreated, only to reveal red, irritated skin. Kitsu was very much consumed by his fear, that he didn't notice Osamu and Sumi.

Osamu had slapped Atsumu. Very hard, that is. Hard enough to leave an imprint of his right hand on Atsumu's left cheek. The imprint had the same color of red as the wrist of the little boy. Kitsu turns to see Sumi, whose breath was rugged, and whose face was stained with tears similar to his own.

Atsumu finally came to a realization of what he did. He looked down in shame, caressing the left side of his face to alleviate the pain. He avoided making eye contact with Osamu and the children. Osamu on the other hand, looked like he didn't want to slap his brother. But he had to, or else something worse might've happened to Kitsu. He looks furious, and... disappointed. Silence danced around before the alpha spoke up.

"If ya don't let go of 'im, then yer gonna end up hurtin' them more!"

Osamu yells with as much pain as his voice can handle. His eyes are also moistured. He doesn't want to see his brother in pain. He doesn't want his brother to turn insane. He also doesn't want the twins, who he loved as if they were his own, to be hurt. He doesn't want them to be dragged into their mother's misery.

Sumi was now massaging Kitsu's wrists, while the boy cries silently, his head bowed in the same manner as the blond's.

"You've done that to Sumi, and I expected ya not to do it to Kitsu. But I guess you want both of 'em to learn from a mistake they did not commit! It's their fault they look like that, nor act like that! Don't mistake them for him!" Osamu continues, tears now leaking. Atsumu was crying too. Everyone was.

"I'm s—sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Enough! I don't want a shitty apology!" The alpha says as he makes a decision. "Try to apologize to the kids properly tomorrow!"

"...Tomorrow?" Atsumu repeats weakly.

"We're leaving." Osamu says as he carries both twins with him, turning his back at the omega and walking away.

"Wait—! I- I—" The setter struggles to find the correct words. Osamu hates apologies. He thinks it's useless and baseless. Because of this, Atsumu knows he can't do anything in that moment.

Once he heard the front door slam shut, and the car engine starting, he chose not to do anything. He stares mindlessly at the wall, and thought of everything he had done. When he said that he never meant any of that, he truly means it. He doesn't know why he did it, or why he keeps associating the two of them with Kiyoomi. He promised to give his kids the best life possible, but he screwed his chance. They're going to see him as a horrible person, one who can't fix himself. They're going to hate him—

And then, he broke down at the thought. He doesn't want them to leave him like Kiyoomi did. They're all he has. They're the only thing keeping him alive.

Once he can no longer hear Osamu's Prius, he swore to himself that he'll get better.

So he did. After eating, he took his medication.

But he took too much.

It was at his bedroom that he felt the urge to give up, to just collapse entirely.

So he did.

\---

"Once he wouldn't answer my calls, I went to his place immediately. I didn't care if t'was an hour away. Good thin' I did, because I found his body on the floor. I took him to the hospital and he woke up four hours later."

Kiyoomi wanted the ground to eat him whole. His kids had to pay for his own mistake. He never meant for that to happen. This is his fault, he repeats for the nth time today. He feels like he can't do anything else but blame himself. As soon as an apology was on the tip of his tongue, the older stops him.

"If yer gonna say sorry, then save it." Osamu finishes the last drop of his tea. "Yer never gonna achieve anything if ya just say sorry. Saying sorry has been normalized as a tactic for people to pity ya."

Osamu hates apologies.

"If yer finished apologizing, then stop. One is enough. To prove the genuineness of how sorry ya are, use yer actions." The cook continues. "If ya have a broken record that keeps repeating the same words, what are ya gonna do? Leave it to repeat itself over and over again to the point where everythin' it says becomes meaningless? Or are ya gonna fix it, use yer actions to make it as good as before t'was broken?"

Osamu has a point.

Kiyoomi contemplates. And while he contemplates, he can hear the laughter of the kids as they watch the show, completely oblivious to everything. They don't have a grudge against their mother. They aren't angry at him. In fact, they love him more, in order to substitute the lack of love that their father failed to give him.

The spiker's parents knew of Kiyoomi's past inability to love a person. But because they want him to bring them a grandchild, they told him instead to view omegas as a tool. They told him that if he can't love an omega, then he should use one to bear him an offspring.

But Kiyoomi learned how to love, and he doesn't want to see an omega as a tool.

If his parents knew about Atsumu and the twins they wouldn't care about the blond. They wouldn't care if his mental health deteriorates, they wouldn't care about him at all. Instead, they would congratulate Kiyoomi.

That makes him sick. Seeing a person as an object to use, makes him sick.

"It's up to ya if ya want to associate the broken record to yer situation right now." Osamu starts, still not looking directly to the other alpha.

"So, lemme ask ya, what are ya gonna do right now? Gonna fix it?"

Kiyoomi knows that Osamu really meant. 'Are ya gonna fix the mess ya made? Are ya gonna fix my brother?'

The cook looks like he awaits an answer, so the spiker supplies him with one.

"I can't fix him."

Osamu's silence urges him to go on.

"Fix isn't the right word for that. I doesn't want to treat Atsumu as an object."

Kiyoomi can feel the slightest bit of shock behind Osamu's collected demeanor. And by feel, he meant smell it. His scent shows interest in what the taller has to say. So, with all determination, Kiyoomi continues.

"I will give him another reason to keep fighting on. I will give him a reason to love again."

Kiyoomi did not conceal his shock when Osamu suddenly smiles at him. For a moment there, the spiker wonders if that's how Atsumu would look like if the setter were to allocate his masks and smile that genuinely to him.

"I trust ya do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY NAME IS THLEE, I AM A POET  
> I WROTE THIS JUST TO SHOW IT  
> AND TODAY, IS MY BIRTHDAY  
> SCHOOL STARTS IN A MONTH AND I HAVE NO SHAME
> 
> I LEARN JAPANESE AND PLAY GUITAR BY MYSELF  
> I WANT TO STUDY BUT I'M LAZY AS HELL  
> (actually, imma stop— there ain't no way I'm counting in french and looking for a word that rhymes with cinq) 
> 
> Ps: if u sang that then u r officially philip-approved. lafayette approves of u too. 
> 
> N E ways for me the best thing about this chapter is kitsu's love for peppa pig. How did your english vocabulary expand? For me, I watch Joana Ceddia and right now I have a declaration: I AM RAVENOUS.
> 
> I think i made sakusa suffer too much. Wait— did I? Actually, nopeee! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Clue for the next chapter? It doesn't revolve around sakuatsu lol. It's my favourite one yet :>


	15. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What comes with nature? Memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a bad job at metaphors lmao

Leaves.

Sunshine passes through the crevices in between the leaves of a big oak tree. The assemblage of leaves, and the masses of sunlight that coat their verdant colors; both yellow and green combine harmoniously to bring out the best vibrance in nature.

Only a few people stop and appreciate the breathtaking chromaticity of the Earth. One of those people is a very tall omega, his hair bleached to a color almost synonymous to the vibrant golden glow of the sunlight, if it weren't for the light contrast of platinum. Looking up, amber eyes are mesmerised with the lively, golden-coated green. And for a fleeting moment, Atsumu remembers how lucky he is to be alive. He remembers how lucky he is to see all these shades of green and yellow.

The mixture of both earthly colors remind him of his own scent. Kiyoomi used to comment on how aureate and verdant his scent is; the smell of fresh citrus combined with the terrene smell of the forest.

_"Remind me why I smell like yellow and green again?" Atsumu chuckles._

_"Citrus is yellow. The forest is green."_

_"Citrus is orange...?"_

_"Dumbass. It's yellow."_

_"Pretty sure it's orange!"_

_"Oh well. Potayto, potato." Kiyoomi shrugs._

_"Doesn't change the fact that it's orange!"_

_"Whatever makes you sleep easier. Doesn't change the fact that you smell like yellow and green."_

Atsumu sighs. Everything reminds him of the alpha. He could never get a break, could he? He thought he would feel more at ease with some simple nature sight-seeing, but that as well, reminds him of Kiyoomi.

But even when the raven invades his thoughts, he couldn't bring himself to look away from the leaves up above him. Something in the word 'leaves' is also connected to the alpha. He just doesn't remember how.

He's going to get terrible neck cramps from looking up for too long, but he thinks nothing of it. Instead, he made deliberate decision of not thinking of the past, but looking forward to the future instead.

How colder is it in Canada than in Japan? The blond's mind lingers. How thick will he need the jackets to be? How frequent does it snow there? Will the kids be able to communicate fluently in English? Will they make new friends? How long will Sumi whine about missing Yuka? How about—

His thoughts of a life anew dissipated once he bumps into someone. Before he can identify the person, he falls down, ass landing on the warm pavement. Who can blame Atsumu? Well, it is his fault for diverting his view to the ordinary leaves of an ordinary tree, but this idiot ran straight towards him, without even looking.

"Ow." Atsumu winces.

"I— I'm sorry! Here let me help you— Atsumu-san?" The idiot spoke with such familiarity that it shocks the setter.

Once the blur in his vision is slowly replaced with clarity. He finally recognizes the person standing in front of him, offering a hand as an apology for the sudden collision.

"What the fuck? Shouyou?" Atsumu squints, just in case he got the wrong person. But the sun-kissed tangerine locks sticking in all kinds of pretentious directions, and the warm hue of chestnut brown in his eyes, says otherwise.

"I'm sorry, I really am!" Shouyou retreats his hand to bow almost impossibly low.

"Ya know, ya can help me up instead right?" From dried cement, the blond raises a brow.

"Ah! Sorry!" Due to nervousness, the redhead forcefully grabs both the taller's arms, pushing him up until he's on his legs. For someone who hasn't even reached 175 centimeters, that strength should be illegal.

"So..."

"So?"

"Whatcha' doin' 'ere?" The older asks. "In Sendai?"

"Ah! The kids in Karasuno wanted to see me so their coach scheduled for me to come."

"It's Sunday..." Atsumu trails off. Any sane person would know that Sunday is rest day. But Shouyou is no sane person. With all the crazy stunts he has surprised everyone with, who would've thought that there was even an ounce of sanity in him?

"This is the only day of the month where I'm free. I'll be in Brazil next week, for two weeks. There's some sort of beach volleyball championship and coach let me go!" The tangerine exclaims with all possible enthusiasm.

Of course it has to be volleyball-related. That's what registers first in the blond's mind. Next is a question; how frequent does this omega go to Brazil?!

"How about you, Atsumu-san?" Shouyou asks, cocking his head.

"I live here???"

"I know that!" Shouyou whines. "But I meant, why are you walking down the streets, looking at leaves?"

Embarrassment fills the blond. He must've looked stupid if his feet were taking him forward but his head was leaning back, eyes pointing straight above, brown irises reflecting the arboreal shade of green.

"I... uh... Was talkin' a walk. Ta' keep my mind off... Stuff..." The setter answers hesitantly.

The younger softens at Atsumu's exposed vulnerability. He knows very well that the taller hates being vulnerable and even more, showing emotional defenselessness, despite being an omega.

"You must've been through a lot, haven't you?" Shouyou asks softly.

"Oh boy, you don't know even half of it." Atsumu scoffs silently. He passes through the redhead and starts to walk away. "Don' wanna talk about it."

"Hey!" The spiker calls once the setter's image gets farther and farther. "Oi! Atsumu-san!" He calls louder upon not receiving a response. The way he calls the other's name is as if he brought a megaphone with him. It was loud and clear, and it gave no excuse for Atsumu to ignore it. "What?" He snaps.

"I know what can help you take your mind off things!" The trilingual suggests. "Why don't you come with me!"

Atsumu hates it. He doesn't hate Shouyou, and he doesn't hate help or emotional and mental support either, but he hates— no, scratch that, he despises people pitying him. He hates to be pitied. His pride and dignity are greatly affected by the simple comments synonymous to 'Oh, to be in his position! It's truly saddening.'.

Somehow, Atsumu sees all attempts in helping him as a sign of being pitied upon.

"Ya really don't need to do this jus' to help me."

"Actually... There are two reasons why I invited you." The shorter starts with hesitance. "First is of course, to help you."

"Go on." The blond raises a brow.

"And next... Is because I kinda... uhh..."

"Speak clearly Sho."

"I'mkindoflostanddon'trememberwherethetrainstationis." Shouyou raps in one breath.

It takes all Atsumu's power for him to not give in to the urge of face-palming himself, physically expressing his disbelief. A grown man, presumably twenty-seven, lost in the prefecture he grew up in. Is that even possible?

Then again, Atsumu remembers who he is talking about. Hinata Shouyou, or Kageyama Shouyou rather, the man of many surprises. Of course he can handle anything! (Even the embarrassment that comes with sneaking in the training camp on his first year of high school). What could Atsumu possibly expect? Of course he should expect the unexpected! Because the tangerine always finds a way to make everyone in a five kilometre radius drop their jaws. Clearly, it shouldn't be surprising to him anymore.

The sudden urge to face-palm himself is immediately converted into a soft sigh. "Fine."

\---

Atsumu admits that Shouyou's invitation was actually the best thing that happened to him this week. Upon entering the gym, a class of students approach them enthusiastically. Basically, they weren't 'kids'. They were a bunch of high-schoolers. But youth is youth, and memories fill the blond of his own teenage days. The good memories; memories of setting as a naive and free sixteen-year old; memories of the only problem being the nationals, or how he needs to improve; memories of only crying because of losing a match. He feels refreshed, like a new leaf.

Setting to Shouyou again also makes him really happy too. Another batch of memories cascades within him and for once, he lets everything go. He gives in to the good and refreshing kind of nostalgia. He wishes he could stay like this forever. He wants to be stuck here as a new coping mechanism which is no more than a paradox. But albeit it's a paradox, it's also a decision of cowardice. 

So, he seizes the time he has in this gym that somehow reconnects him to the earlier past, the better one. He memorizes the smiles of the Karasuno boys' volleyball team, and he familiarizes the set up of the small gym, similar to the one back in Inarizaki. He holds the nostalgia close to him, keeping it locked up in a mental chest, for him to open whenever anxiety and stress overwhelms him.

Unfortunately, good things have to end. By noon, they all say their goodbyes. The redhead doesn't want to diverge immediately, so he asks the setter to take him to the best cafe in Sendai. Shouyou insists for Atsumu to stay, and that brings them to the present; Both omegas place their order as they patiently wait for their lunch to be served. 

They sit in front of a store window, where a big tree sits serenely, leaves abiding the flow of the gentle breeze. Somehow, the blond's eyes follow the different shades of green of the leaves. 

"You really like nature, don't you?" Shouyou starts.

Atsumu turns to the omega in front of him, brown eyes scan curiously. The taller shrugs in response. "I guess. I think it's jus' the trees though."

Shouyou nods as he sips on the service water. "I guess I like nature too. But I think it's just the oceans. Don't you think waves are mesmerizing?"

"Ya play too much beach volleyball, doncha' think?" The older chuckles.

"Hmm, point taken." Shouyou smiles.

Atsumu just can help but observe Shouyou, he looks genuinely happy. Of course he's happy. He's got everything Atsumu ever wanted. He has an alpha who truly loves him, his kids aren't scarred. He's got a perfect family. He's got peace and happiness. Before the setter can even think, his mouth runs.

"You know what Shokkun, I'm really envious of you."

"What are you going on about now Atsumu-san?" The redhead rose a brow.

"Your life is so perfect."

"How so?"

"I don't even know where to begin." The blond chuckles.

"Oh come on, just say anything." Shouyou laughs.

"Okay..." Atsumu laughs as well. "Well, yer whole life is perfect."

Suddenly, the shorter frowns. "How so?"

"Ya have a perfect family, a perfect career, a perfect home, everything is literally perfect. Yer the epitome of perfection." Atsumu shrugs with a chuckle.

The frown gets deeper, but Atsumu doesn't notice. "Are you sure?"

"Positively."

When Shouyou sighs, the blond finally gets the hint.

With concern painting his voice, he asks. "Did I... step on a mine?"

"No, it's just..." The younger hesitates.

"It's tiring to act like this. To act like everything has always been perfect."

"It hasn't?" Atsumu asks to which he doesn't receive a response.

For a while, silence took the spotlight. And it wasn't the least bit comfortable to the blond.

"I know what you've been through."

"So that bastard told ya, ah?" Atsumu can feel anger racing through his body. Who else knows about this? For once, he doesn't want people peeking into his personal life. It's embarrassing enough for an omega to be left by their alpha, what's more if people find out that the two of them were never even a proper thing? Atsumu was merely a plaything for Kiyoomi.

But the blond loved him with all his heart.

"I know it's not easy."

"When has it ever been?" Atsumu snaps. "Ya don't get to tell me things like that, because again, yer life is perfect!"

"Are you sure?"

"For goodness sake Sho, stop repeating ques-"

"Shino was about to die."

All the anger the older felt dispersed in an instant. Losing the love of your life is one thing, but almost losing a child is a whole other thing. It's the most painful out of all the masses.

"Why?" He asks hesitantly, voice amorphous.

"Whatever made you think that me and Tobio had a perfect marriage?" Shouyou asks. "Just like you and Omi-san, we were too different, a complete polar opposite to each other."

"Yer more alike than ya thought." Atsumu says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Well, same goes to the both of you."

"Please don't direct the conversation at me."

"Sorry." Shouyou apologizes. "But when I saw you and Omi-san so close to each other all those years ago, I knew me and Tobio had a chance."

Atsumu's breath hitches.

"But look how the tables turned. Even when I got married to the love of my life, the people who had the image of my dream relationship were actually never really together. But deep inside, I know that they love each other very much."

The blond's eyebrows furrowed. "Sho, I told ya-"

"Right, right. I'm sorry. I just can't stop comparing." Shouyou chuckles awkwardly. "To make it up to you, I'll tell you what really is behind this 'perfect life'."

"Back then, a few months after our marriage, a problem appeared."

"We loved each other, but we both loved volleyball more." Shouyou recalls.

\---

"Oi, boke," Tobio calls out.

"Hm?"

"I was offered to play at Italy."

Shouyou laughs, assuming that his alpha was being competitive and showing off his dominance once again. "Don't get ahead of yourself Kageyama! I was offered to play for a lot of overseas teams as well! Like Brazil, and Portuga-"

"I accepted."

The redhead stops but he tries to convince himself that this is all a nasty joke for the raven to win today's challenge. "Hah! You can't trick me, Bakageyama! That's a good joke th-"

"I'm not joking."

"You can stop now Tobio, this joke is not funny." Shouyou says, begging to God that whatever the younger said was incorrect.

"This is not a joke. How many times must I repeat it." Tobio snaps.

At this point, Shouyou was sure that it isn't. The tone of his voice wasn't competitive, nor was it playful. It was the most serious he's heard of. He feels betrayed and angered. They promised in their vows to be by each other's side forever and ever. They promised to be good parents to their son. They promised to live a fulfilling life together.

But with that one decision of the alpha, all those promises got swept away by a huge wave to the middle of the untamable ocean, drowning and drowning and drowning, only to be forgotten and abandoned in the abyss of mystery and solitary. Only to join the pile of other promises that never met the option of fulfillment.

It's a reason for Shouyou to fear the ocean.

"But why?" Shouyou asks, hands shaking and voice hoarse. It was as if the boy who mended his heart, broke it into a thousand little pieces, only for those pieces to shatter his hopes of a future with him.

"I need to improve myself." Tobio looks away.

"What is there more to improve?!" Shouyou yells in pain as he demands an answer.

"I don't think I'm worthy enough to be your opponent!" Tobio yells back.

"You're plenty of worthy!"

"That's what I told you when we graduated." The alpha starts slowly, voice soft and pained. "I told you not to leave me. I told you that we can improve ourselves together. Here. In Japan."

The redhead remained silent as his eyes widen.

"But what did you do?" The setter asks, voice still pained. But instead of softness, it held immense anger. "You left me. You went to Brazil."

"I thought we were okay with that!"

"I pretended! Because I wanted you to get what you want! I wanted you to be happy Sho..." Tobio's voice was now breaking. "But deep inside... I was hurt. Because I wanted to be by your side when you improve. Heck, I wanted to help you improve."

Silence made itself known. Before the raven starts quietly.

"You know Sho, I think it isn't worth it."

"What?"

"I don't think it's worth you being a worthy opponent, if I wasn't with you when you improved."

Tobio continues. "I don't think it's worth you being a worthy opponent if I wasn't there to wipe the sweat off of your forehead, if I wasn't there to carry you when your legs were too sore, if I wasn't there to insult or compliment your receives, nor if I wasn't there to celebrate your accomplishments. It isn't worth it!"

"Shouyou, no matter what level of volleyball you are on, it will never change the fact that I love you. I told you this when we graduated but you still insisted to go!"

"I let you go, because that's what you wanted. I gave you what you wanted, so at least give me what I want!" Tobio exclaims.

"Tobio please, we have a family here in Japan!" Shouyou begs, eyes watery. "You're going to miss your son grow!"

"I have to improve myself first." The raven answers flatly.

"Is that really your priority?!" The spiker starts, the fury and rage converting into moisture in his eyes. "Do you want Shino to grow up, thinking that his father never really cared about him?!"

The setter observed silence. Shouyou could not believe that his husband choose himself over his own family.

Out of madness, the older let out a shaky laugh of sarcasm. "Tobio, you really aren't going to do this to me, are you?"

No answer.

"ANSWER ME, TOBIO!"

"I'm sorry, Shouyou..."

Tobio only uses Shouyou's full name whenever he was really serious. This wasn't a joke. As much as Shouyou wants it to be, he isn't kidding.

Tears stream down the spiker's cheeks, dropping to the waves that continuously sweep their promises away. Once the tears mingle with the water, it loses its ability to be individualised as a single mementos of pain, as it also loses itself in the crowd of a million other tears that form the melancholic landfill of broken promises that is the ocean.

"So that's how it is, huh..." The redhead starts as he fights more tears. He wipes harshly, almost irritating the skin.

Amongst the tears of anger and betrayal were tears of sadness and disappointment to himself. Shouyou was disappointed in himself because he couldn't be a reason for Tobio to stay in Japan. The precious little boy he conceived just for his alpha couldn't be one either. He failed as a husband and a mother.

"I'm not going to lose." Shouyou says as the tears disappear, a new emotion of determination makes itself known.

"What?"

"Two can play at this game." A deadly aura radiates from the omega. At this moment in time, he is more dominant than the alpha.

Tobio has a vague idea of what's on the unpredictable mind of the other.

"This has been our relationship, right?" The shorter asks for confirmation sarcastically. "Basically, our whole relationship orbits around competition."

"Sho..."

"If you're going to Italy, I'm playing for Brazil."

Tobio's whole world stops.

"But—"

"This is a competition right?" Shouyou smiles with anger and sarcasm. He laughs as well, becoming fully mad. "At least make it fair, Tobio."

"How about—"

"The next time we see each other is across the court. Mark my words, I'll make sure Brazil is on top of Italy when it comes to volleyball."

Shouyou slams the door on his way out. A feeling of hatred on his husband, and more specifically in himself.

He can't believe that he's going to leave his son too.

\---

"Instead of trying to make up for Tobio's absence, I followed his selfishness." Shouyou says.

"What happened to Shino?" Atsumu asks, concern evident.

"I left him with Natsu. Sometimes when Miwa was in Japan, she'd help with him too. Basically, it's still both sides helping him but the actual parents are not." Atsumu can hear the guilt in Shouyou's voice.

"How did ya find each other again?"

"That's when things took a turn for the worse."

\---

Over a year has passed since they both moved to different teams in different countries. They have schedules visits to Japan. If Tobio visits on February, Shouyou visits on June. If Shouyou visits on September, Tobio visits on November. Never had they crossed each other whenever they visited their son.

The sisters of both the alpha and the omega were worried. Natsu keeps begging to her brother to come home, because Shino needs at least one parent. And Miwa on the other hand, she would endlessly reason out to her younger brother. When he didn't listen, Miwa's talking would become yelling, and those yells always had a tint of desperation, of pleading. But Tobio is stubborn when it comes to competition, so he doesn't listen.

Although Shouyou is furious at the raven, he still remains loyal. He takes the most expensive surpressor injections, which are also the most effective. In the span of almost a year and a half, he never went through heat. Everything he did back in Rio was solely for the purpose of volleyball. Nothing else.

The two haven't talked to each other. Sure, they would see each other in posters and magazines, social media posts and interviews, game recordings, but they never shared a word in that time they had apart. When they would play against each other, the players (and even the coaches) on both teams can feel the tension, both their scents screaming dominance and the declaration of war. The restless drive to overtake each other led to both of them becoming the MVP on each team.

It wasn't until one day, the sun was setting when Shouyou was watching a volleyball match at home, the door suddenly had a knock. He arched his brow. The omega wasn't expecting any visitors today as it was a day off. It was very unlikely that someone would show up on his doorstep and the redhead was uninformed. Curiosity took the best of him as he opened the door.

His eyes were immediately met with deep blue irises. Those irises could rival the beautiful, hypnotic blue of the mysterious ocean. The ocean that kept their promises hidden and drowned deep, deep down, that Shouyou was convinced he would never find them again. He would never find the vows that was swept away by the ways on that faithful day.

It was a relief to see the blue eyes he missed so much. The blue eyes that he fell inlove with.

This was the first time he really looked at his beloved in over a year.

Tobio was panting as if he ran a marathon, sweat trickled down his face and dropped from his chin. It isn't a good idea to be sweating in the hot streets of Brazil, especially if you are accustomed to a cold climate.

It was as if Tobio didn't waste a single millisecond.

And he didn't.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't slam the door at your face." Shouyou says flatly.

The alpha was still catching his breath. But unfortunately the other was impatient. It's too hot to be standing idly and Shouyou would want nothing more to do that to sit in front of the fan for the duration of his day off.

"Um." Shouyou starts to count.

"Dois."

"Três."

"Quatro."

He prepared himself to slam the door after the last number.

"Cinco."

Just as he used all his strength to shut the door, a foot intervened the connection of the door to the doorframe.

"Shouyou!" Tobio starts, still breathless. "Hear me out!"

"What is there to hear?"

"Please! I promise! After this, I'll leave immediately!"

Tobio seems panicked. The omega contemplates for a while before finally letting to younger in.

"Don't waste my time. Start now."

"Shouyou, I'm sorry, I really regret everything—"

"Can you apologize properly? You're rushing things."

"I need to rush things! Please listen!"

"Oh? So you can go back to Italy without the guilt of leaving me?" Shouyou turns to face the alpha, a brow up in a mocking manner with evident sarcasm.

"No, it's more than just that!"

"Why should I believe you exactly? What are your intentions?"

"This is important, hear me out!"

"Oh but alas, what could be more important than volley-"

"Shino's in critical condition! He's in a coma!" Tobio rushes.

The calm and collected facade of the redhead was instantly devastated as it falls down and exposes Shouyou to the softer and more vulnerable emotions.

"W-what?"

"I visited last week! And then, and then—"

"And then Natsu was hesitant to see me! And when I asked her what's wrong, she broke down and was on her knees! She kept begging for forgiveness!" Tobio continues to rush, eyes the same shade as the ocean becomes watery.

Shouyou's breath hitched.

"She told me that she found Shino unresponsive, lying on the floor of his bedroom! I panicked, I went to the hospital and learned that he wouldn't wake up for three weeks now!" Tobio's voice cracked at 'hospital' and he was now crying. He was shaking and he can't control his sobs.

"What h-happened?" Shouyou can feel his own tears.

"H-he had a s-severe asthma attack. H-he was lacking oxygen a-and... he fainted." Tobio choked on a sob as he fell on the floor completely. Those mesmerizing blue eyes were filled with tears.

Shouyou couldn't bear the thought of his son in harm. He broke down as well.

"As s-soon as I heard how f-fatal his condition is, I flew here immediately..." Tobio pauses. And it looks like he doesn't want to say his next words.

But he says it anyways.

"Because if... if Shino's gonna d-die... " He chokes on another sob. "I want both of us t-to be there for him before he does..."

Shouyou couldn't handle it. He drops on the floor as well. Tanned arms wrap around his alpha. He feels relief as he hold his beloved again, and his beloved does the same. That relief is short-lived though, because the thought of their son dying is also going to kill him.

"Shouyou I'm sorry..." Tobio starts. "I'm so sorry— It's all my fault." He cries more.

"Shhh, we both have faults." Shouyou pacifies. "But we have to fix this first."

"I'd rather you don't forgive me than to let Shino die!" Tobio was now crying loudly, breathing rugged as he struggles. He struggles to fix their marriage and he struggles with the possibility of what their son will face.

"Hey, calm down... We'll fly to Japan first thing tomorrow... We'll fix everything, we'll be the parents Shino failed to have for a year." Shouyou whispers softly as rubs the broad back of the raven, fingers soothingly tracing circles. And for a while, Tobio can feel the words 'I'm sorry too' being traced.

After a while of crying together, Shouyou recovers first as he gets up and helps the other.

"Shouyou..." Tobio reaches Shouyou's chin and his fingers trace delicate patterns. It is as if Tobio was worshipping a Saint, his touch delicate and filled with affection. His hand travels from his chin, to his cheek and then to his ear. With all determination, he says; "I'll fix this."

"Correction," The redhead leans in to the touch, treasuring every moment of this reconciliation in their relationship. "We'll fix it."

Tobio inches closer and their lips lock together. This is what they've been waiting for in a year. This is what they crave for each day for that duration, and this is what makes them forget their anger and their silly competition. Hands roaming each other, but each touch has lust absent. Everything present is their love and appreciation for one another.

They start to dance their way to the bedroom. The scent of mango mixed with honeysuckle combines with the scent of blueberries mixed with wisteria.

And just like that, a new box of promises were made. It stays guarded on the sand, far far away from the shore where another tide of waves will sweep it to the ocean where their last box of promises has drowned.

The ocean isn't that scary anymore, now that Shouyou once again sees the crystalized water in Tobio's eyes.

\---

"We were really given another chance after that, because during the next day, I found out I was pregnant with Hiroyo." Shouyou smiles softly. "We immediately flew to Japan."

When they arrived at the hospital, their son was laying there. a machine beside him. At only the age of three, he was pale and a bit thinner from what the two remember him to be. Both Miwa and Natsu were there. Tobio and Shouyou had no idea if the tears their sisters shed were those with the relief that comes in seeing the two back together, or if it was with worry and pain with the worsening condition of their nephew. It could be both, but they'll never find out.

"I signed back with the Jackals and Tobio returned to the Adlers, like how the both of us were before shit happened." Shouyou continues his narration. "But I didn't play immediately because I was pregnant."

"How was Shino?" Atsumu asks.

"He stayed in that coma for three months. In that period of time, both me and Tobio went to therapy and counselling. We wanted to be at our best for Shino once he wakes up, and also for Hiroyo who I was carrying that time. We also couldn't wait to tell him that he'll be having a sister."

"Everything went well after that. Me and Tobio become more open with each other and a bit more competitive too." The redhead chuckles. "But when it comes to raising a family, there was never a competition, because we did it together."

The blond was amazed with Shouyou's story. He has no intent in telling the shorter though, because it only gives more reason to why he should be fixing what he had with Kiyoomi rather than avoiding it.

"Even right now, our life isn't perfect. I still fight with Tobio a lot, but we always find a way back to each other." The spiker starts. "No relationship is perfect, Atsumu-san. If there is such, then it's a facade to cover up the truth."

"Just like Tsukki and Tetsurou-san. Do you remember?" The redhead finally turns to the blond with a face asking for confirmation, and this is when Atsumu remembers.

Kei's older brother, Akiteru, fell in love with a beta in the States. Unfortunately, the beta is infertile. Akiteru really wanted a child, but he was too in love to leave her for another woman who can conceive a child. They cannot opt for an adoption because of a problem in processing their papers. So, to pull his brother out of his despair, Kei offered for his second born, Tomohito, to stay with the older for a while.

Tomohito stays six thousand miles away from his real parents, and Tetsurou, was not the least bit happy about this.

The alpha was furious with what his mate did. When Tetsurou started shouting, Kei told Yuka to hide in her room and look the door. No physical hurt happened, but when Tetsurou said he'll be staying at Tokyo to calm himself down, Kei felt a greater dread.

Tetsurou loves bars. When he's stressed out, he would take a 'couple' drinks, which in reality would be a few bottles of alcohol. And then, while in Tokyo, the alpha did some things to other omegas.

Because of Koutarou, Kei's speculations have been confirmed. Atsumu knew this because there was a time when the taller omega refused to go to practice. When the setter visited him, Kei was practically rotting in his room, shedding tears of regret and pain.

Of course, if there wasn't reconciliation, the cat-like alpha and the blond omega wouldn't have been together by now. After some talking, apologising, and an awful lot of forgiveness, they managed to get through it.

"Atsumu-san, do you remember Omi-san's favorite song?" Shouyou asks amidst the comfortable silence.

"Leaves by Ben&Ben." Atsumu mutters silently, having no idea why he still remembers that. "Does he still like it?"

"He likes it more and more by each passing day."

"Really?" The taller asks. It's been five years, and the alpha still cherishes a song that didn't even originate from Japan nor the west.

Shouyou nods with a small smile. "He let me listen to it, and it was very beautiful."

"Do you know what line particularly stood out?" The tangerine asks, his eyes searching the others', that have a very similar shade of brown to his own.

"It's been so long. I don't think I remember the whole song." Atsumu chuckles.

"I'm pretty sure you remember this line." The spiker smiles before he starts to sing.

_"Oh, you never really love someone until..."_

Shouyou starts, he trails off as his eyes return to the blond, urging him to finish the verse.

Atsumu tenses, the younger was no less correct. He remembers this oh so well.

_"...You learn to forgive."_

The setter mumbles quietly.

"That's love, Atsumu-san." Shouyou says. "Forgiveness is a pillar of love."

"Yer soundin' like my mom." Atsumu scoffs to which the younger chuckles at.

"Hey! I'm helping you here!" The redhead defends. "But seriously, in a relationship, the alpha is never dominant. Just because they have their mark on your neck, doesn't mean you have to obey them. "

"In a relationship, two individuals become one to complete each other. We get broken because of some incompatibility, but the real challenge is if we can fix each other. And if you're in love, anything can be fixed." Shouyou finishes as he looks at the big tree, leaves falling down and softly landing beside the tree's roots.

"Why are ya tellin' me this?"

"Why do you think I'm telling you this?" The spiker retorts back.

Atsumu leans back on his chair and grunts. "I hate ya." He pouts. "Whenever I look at trees and leaves, I'll be reminded of this conversation."

"Whenever I look at ocean I remember what happened between me and Tobio. When you fix everything with Omi-san, you'll want to look at the leaves more often." Shouyou smiles.

The waitress arrived with their meals. The younger turns back to the blond. "Let's continue this later. I'm starving." He smiles sheepishly.

Atsumu nods absentmindedly, his head repeating Shouyou's words from earlier.

_'When you fix everything with Omi-san, you'll want to look at the leaves more often.'_

Another leaf descends back down to the earth as Atsumu's mind lingers once more on the color of green and yellow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what i want to interpret in this chapter is that youre never alone. thousands of people around the world have been through what you are going through, and will continuously support you throughout your journey. if you need someone to talk to, im available. please keep fighting <3
> 
> i suggest you listen to leaves by ben&ben, its a song about forgiveness. might mention this song again in upcoming chapters.
> 
> in this fic, hinata's relationship with kageyama is just like an ocean. to the public, its beautiful and limitless, but its also hiding something in the depths of the deep. i dont know why i added this. i think i just miss the beach. stupid quarantine :(( 
> 
> as always, thank you for reading. see you in the next chapter!


	16. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doubt and confusion; foreign to Kiyoomi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MADLANG PIPOL!! IM THLEE AND IM ALSO ALIVE (UNFORTUNATELY)
> 
> new readers may skip this, but if u're one of those people who wondered if i was still walking on the earth or if i was being lowered 6 feet under my grave, then i can explain. im sorry for going inactive without informing y'all. there are a few reasons;
> 
> 1\. writers block. i dont have to explain this bullshit, do i?  
> 2\. online classes. esp is killing me wtaf I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPEAK TAGALOG??? (why does economics have to be tagalog too??)  
> 3\. other personal reasons.
> 
> i want to give a more detailed explanation but it would feel as if i was wasting ur time, so y'all can go ahead now :D
> 
> PS, Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

A knock startles Atsumu as he steps out of the shower. "It must be 'Samu," He thinks, recalling his conversation with the alpha through the phone. According to him, he might be visiting today. Thinking it was his brother, the blond rolls his eyes and makes his way to the bedroom, where he puts on some boxers and cargo shorts. The knocking progresses as he changes into the mentioned clothing, becoming louder and more frequent. Although he really is thankful to his brother, Osamu can be an asshole sometimes.

By the time he searches for a shirt, the knocking becomes unbearable. Not wanting to hear another result of knuckles coming in contact with the hardwood, he curses on his way to the source, all without clothing to conceal his chest and a very disarrayed mop of bleached hair. He reaches the handle and turns it, pulling the door open. "Oi 'Samu, would it kill ya to wai—"

The omega stops. After the displeasure of realizing that the person in front of him did not have Osamu's aluminum grey eyes, he can feel his face heat up, recognising those charcoal-black eyes.

Kiyoomi stares straight to Atsumu's fawn brown orbs, resulting in a semi awkward eye contact. He starts flatly. "This is the third time you've mistaken me for Osamu."

The setter is still speechless. He turns redder. The spiker raises a brow. "Why are you—"

It wasn't till the spiker's eyes traveled lower that he realized what was making the shorter act this way.

He spots the tanned torso of the blond, a perfect six-pack sitting there at the smooth expanse of his skin. It takes every ounce of Kiyoomi's self-control to not relive the memories of him planting kisses all over there, his tongue swiping from time to time, and feeling like a painter, staring down at his canvas of hickies, sweat and saliva. The thought makes him trigger the same reaction as the blond. Unfortunately for him, because he is much paler, the blush is more evident on his face.

The twins pop up from behind Kiyoomi. Sumi giggles at their broken composure. "Ha! Tomatoes! Both of you!"

"I think they're sick. Let's run to Uncle 'Samu before we get the disease!" Kitsu panics.

As Kitsu was about to run in fear of contracting the supposed fever, and Sumi following the childish flight response of her brother for no apparent reason other than trouble, the omega was quick to stop them. "Oi! You two! Assist Sakusa-san in! Make 'im comfy. I need ta... Ah... Change!"

Atsumu stutters before pacing quickly to his bedroom. Upon reaching the door, he locks it and grabs the nearest clothing which was a hoodie. After changing quickly and styling his hair in order to make it look even just a little bit presentable, he takes a deep breath before exiting his room.

The twins were in the living room, sitting down in excitement. Atsumu looks around for the raven.

"I didn't take you as a weeb." Kiyoomi startles the older.

Atsumu turns around to meet the figure of the alpha. He raises a brow, not getting what he meant. It suddenly occurs to him that he's wearing Saitama's 'oppai' hoodie. One Punch Man was and will always be his favorite anime of all time.

The blond lifts his shoulders, shrugging. "'S not my fault I simp over probably, the strongest hero ever b'cause he looks drop dead hot even without hair. I mean hey! It takes good time and money to maintain this," Atsumu pauses his rant and points to his halo of soft, platinum blond locks. "But I haven't accepted the fact that I'll never be even half as hot as Saitama." He finishes with an exasperated and dramatic sigh.

"Gay."

"We don't support hypocrisy in this house, Sakusa-san." The setter puts his right hand up, waving the spiker in dismissal.

Kiyoomi playfully scoffs with a subtle smile as he makes his way to the front door, where two boxes sit there patiently. One of them is bigger than the other. "Hey! Are ya moving here?" Atsumu panics as he approaches the alpha, not knowing the contents of those boxes. 

"I have a team in Tokyo, why would I move here?" Kiyoomi answers with a question in a ever so blunt, deadpanned manner.

"That doesn't explain the boxes!" Atsumu snaps.

"Oh the boxes?" The spiker asks with a shrug, feigning innocence. "Well, we... Went to the mall and—"

Atsumu turns to the kids and asks softly. "Hey, didja' ask anything from Sakusa-san?"

"No, we were strolling at the mall. When we passed through Toy Kingdom, Sumi was staring at the dolls on display, so..." Kiyoomi trails off as he finishes moving the boxes.

Atsumu blinks but regains his composure the next second. "Go on. Open it. Show me what ya bought that needs to be packed in those boxes." He urges.

Kiyoomi smirks and reaches for his pocket knife. He runs the blade over the expanse of the sealing tape on the biggest box. Opening it, he takes out another big box inside. But this time, it was coated with the color pink. "I bought Sumi a dollhouse."

The omega stares unresponsively, mouth agape. He reads the label, and can't believe it. A Kidkraft dollhouse. Those things cost a fortune. He remembers Osamu purchasing one for his daughter, and he even opted to get one for Sumi. But the omega declined, seeing as his daughter would grow out of it after a few years and maybe replace all the princess play with volleyball.

Kiyoomi's smirk grows wider as he takes in the expression of shock of the blond. He allocates the dollhouse as he reveals the other contents of the bigger box. Finally snapping out of his daze, Atsumu asks. "Wait, there's more?"

"I'm not cheap, Miya. You know I only settle for the best." Kiyoomi says as he pulls out five small packages of different dolls. 

"Five?!" Atsumu doesn't bother to conceal his shock. He turns to Sumi, changing his manner of speaking to a gentler tone. "Sugarcube, did ya ask for all these?"

The little girl shakes her head. "I only wanted a smaller dollhouse and a doll, but papa insisted..."

"It's the truth. But then again, I only settle for the best." The alpha defends bluntly.

"Bonkers. Yer absolute bonkers!" Atsumu expresses his disbelief.

"Oh shut up, just help me assemble the dollhouse." Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, a smirk resting on his pretty mouth.

"Hey! How about my toys." Kitsu pouts. He may be more mature than his sister, but he can't help but be overwhelmed by jealousy when the other twin gets more attention than him. Kids will be kids no matter what.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I'm sorry Kitsu." Kiyoomi pacifies before he turns to the ravenette. "Sumi, how about you play with your dolls first?"

The little girl nods with such alacrity as her little legs bring her the box. The alpha pats her head as she fishes for two of the dolls. She turns to the omega. "Mama, help me free them!" She smiles, approaching him.

Atsumu returns the smile with such fondness in his eyes. "Of course sugarcube, but why 'free' them?" He wonders at his daughter's choice of words.

"Because they are prisoners of the box!" Sumi beams.

Just like how Atsumu is a prisoner to his past.

The setter shakes his head, diverting his attention to helping unbox the dolls. Kiyoomi opens the other box. It was less big but Atsumu can guess that it's much heavier. "Hey," The omega starts, whispering to Sumi. "What did yer papa buy for Kitsu?"

The little girl groans as she crosses her arms. "I don't like it. He has a lot of these now."

Atsumu has a vague idea of what it is. If he's right, he'll have to wish Sumi luck in dealing with her other half.

Kitsu was jumping in enthusiasm and anticipation as the alpha hoists up three packages of the same toy, in different models.

And of course, Atsumu was right.

Nerf guns.

Kitsu has a preposterous obsession with Nerf guns, just like his father. The omega has bought him a few back then, but now he abstains himself from doing so after the little boy would pick up on his sister. He remembers dog-and-cat fights, and little feet racing around, causing havoc to the abject floorboard. Endless chases and "mamaaaa!"s would be heard. Sometimes it ends up with Sumi, afraid to sleep in their shared bedroom due to the fear of being attacked by the other while in slumber.

"Why... Did ya buy him Nerf guns?" Atsumu asks flatly, trying his best to not face-palm himself. This is pure idiocy.

"And why wouldn't I buy it for him?" The alpha raises a brow.

"Because he has four already!"

"Four?" Kiyoomi feigns a gasp of surprise. He then turns to his son, who is now eyeing the toys with nothing but interest and excitement in his eyes. "Is this true, Kitsu?"

The little boy guiltily looks up and nods hesitantly.

"We need to get you more."

"Hold up!" Atsumu starts. "That's too expensive! Whaddya' mean 'get him more'?"

"Are you doubting my salary, Miya?" The raven smirks.

"Has it ever occurred to ya' that what ya said is very insensitive?" The blond raises a brow.

And then it hits Kiyoomi. He suddenly remembers that he was the reason why Atsumu abruptly ended his contract with the Jackals. It really was insensitive of him.

"I'm sorry. Let me restate that." The alpha clears his throat. "Are you doubting my family, Miya?"

"Doubting yer— whaddya' mean?" The setter expresses his confusion.

"Oh, so you don't remember." The taller feigns a look of hurt, but deep inside, he surpresses himself from revealing another smirk.

The urge to smirk aggrandizes as realization hits Atsumu like an ice-cold bucket. The blond remembers what the Sakusa family is all about. Wealth, and an excellent line of heirs. Kiyoomi's family specializes in business. The alpha grew up with a silver spoon up his mouth, the money he has knows no limits. The blond should've remembered; Kiyoomi went to one of the most expensive high schools in Japan, he always had money to use on all his hygienic supplies. He could probably be jobless and still live a life of extravagance.

Children of the rich grow up spoiled, and will continuously spoil their own children.

Atsumu has never wanted to eat the rich this much.

"Ya didn't hafta buy them this much though." The blond says, unamused.

"Oh but I want to." Kiyoomi returns the manner of speaking.

Just as Atsumu was about to scold Kiyoomi, Sumi slowly hid behind his back, her movements careful and calculated. He turns his head and asks softly. "What's wrong sugarcube?"

"Kitsu has a weird smile on him!"

And true to her word, the little fox has a shit-eating smirk. The familiar curl of his lips and the sheer determination in his eyes remind the setter of his very own smirks, the expression he wears whenever causing chaos was inevitable. Again, between the twins, Kitsu looks more like Atsumu. How much more when he smirks?

"Kitsu, don't even think about it." Atsumu scolds.

"What? Mama I did nothing." The little boy defends, but the other three can catch the underlying tone of smugness in his seemingly innocent tone of speaking.

"Try to point that at me and I'll touch you!" Sumi yells, just like a prey doing its best to fend the predator away.

But of course, the predator is always on top of the food chain. "I'll shoot you before you can do so."

"Kitsu..." The blond repeats, dead serious.

The little boy shivers, and then he shrugs. "Mama I was joking." He smiles in defeat.

"It isn't like you to joke." Kiyoomi butts in.

"What? I'm happy." Kitsu shrugs once more with a small, sly smile. His lazy, sleepy eyes scan his sister. "I'll let you go for now."

Sumi hides once more behind her mother as she clenches his shirt tightly. Atsumu can only sigh.

After unboxing the toys and helping assemble the dollhouse, the setter asks. "That's all, right?"

"Yeah, unfortunately you'd scold me if I buy them more." The spiker frowns teasingly.

"Good. Please don't spoil them."

"Oh but I want to." Comes the dangerous grin of the alpha.

"Do ya have any other reasoning than 'oh but I want to'?" Atsumu hisses.

"Hmm. Nope." The younger pops the 'p', hoping to further get into the other's nerves.

"Tch." The omega turns away. "Doncha' dare show me the receipt or I might strangle ya'."

"Oh I wasn't planning too." The raven says, but Atsumu can detect the troublesome tilt to his deep husky voice. "But Sumi can."

"What—"

"Sweetheart, do you remember how many zeros were there in the little piece of paper the cashier gave us?" Kiyoomi asks innocently to the little girl playing with her dolls.

Golden-brown eyes flutter as she tries to remember. "Ah! That paper!"

"Sugarcube, please don't team up with yer father against me—"

"It had..." The ravenette thinks carefully before looking down at her small fingers, counting them. Once she finishes, she raises her hand, showing the digits. "Four zeros!"

"Fou—"

"Funny how the first number wasn't a zero! It was a six!" She giggles and Atsumu's face loses color. He immediately turns his head to Kiyoomi and the latter was a tad bit worried that his neck would snap.

"SIXTY THOUSAND YEN?!" The blond voices his disbelief. "FOR TOYS ONLY?"

Satisfied with Atsumu's reaction, Kiyoomi laughs mockingly, a smirk painting his face. "What's wrong, Miya?"

The omega did not pay attention to the alpha as he was daydreaming of what sixty-thousand yen can get him. That's a lot of money already, even if Kiyoomi claims that its value is only equivalent to pocket cash for him. He could already list everything he'd buy with that good money. It could be the CZ 75 Phantom, the mesmerizing black firearm he has been aiming to buy since last year, or the Springfield XD Mod that his friend recommended him. He could settle with glocks but they jam often. Not very ideal if you ask him. In conclusion...

"I could buy pistols with sixty-thousand!" Atsumu accidentally blurts out loud amidst his gun reverie.

Kiyoomi gives him a weird look. "I don't know if Kitsu's nerf gun fascination came from me, or from your love of actual guns."

Red travels to the blond's tan, chubby cheeks as he realizes what he said. The view couldn't be prettier, Kiyoomi thinks. He decides to play with his luck, giving another playful grin. "You know, I can buy you what you want too."

"Oh really?" Atsumu catches the teasing lilt of the alpha, and chooses to go along. It wouldn't hurt to put aside the polite, good omega act, would it? 

"Yeah, name anything." The raven says, smug. It annoys Atsumu to no end, so he says something that might silence him.

"Then buy me an alpha please. I need a mate after all."

True to his word, it renders Kiyoomi speechless. But the atmosphere becomes a bit awkward though, so maybe it wasn't the best idea.

But then, the raven doesn't give away the victory that easily. One thing that composes Atsumu and Kiyoomi's chemistry is the endless drive to outwit one another. A neverending playful competition, that's how Shouyou and Koutarou describe this weird relationship of the two back then when the Jackals' big four were still complete.

Because of that, Kiyoomi has to win, so he regains composure and clears his throat. "Since you ask so politely-"

"Mama! Papa!" Sumi suddenly appears in front of them, interrupting her father.

Kiyoomi was about to say 'luckily, your request is right here. I'll be your alpha again.'

Or is that too cheesy? Maybe Kiyoomi should be grateful to his daughter for intervening.

"What is it sugarcube?" Atsumu asks.

"Kitsu won't play with me!" The ravenette whines.

"Of course he won't. Dolls are not his thing." Says the alpha.

"Yeah, but playing alone is boring!"

"Perhaps you want us to play with you?" Kiyoomi asks, voice feather soft.

"Nah, you're talking. I don't wanna disturb mama and papa."

"Then what do ya want?" Atsumu asks, patting the crown of her head.

"I want a sister!"

Kiyoomi awkwardly looks away and Atsumu almost chokes on his spit. They never expected this request.

"But..." Atsumu tries to reason out as the flush on his cheeks was getting more visible. "Ya have Yuka, right? How about Rumiko?"

"I want someone who plays with me everyday! I don't see both of them that much." The little girl pouts and crosses her arms. She then looks up, amber orbs sparkling in anticipation. "Give me a sister pleaseeee! I can wait for nine months!"

Atsumu would be proud to say he has an adorable daughter, if it weren't for the fact that she's requesting another sibling. The proclamation that she's willing to wait for nine months just adds to the awkwardness between the two.

"Sugarcube, I'm sorry, but—"

"Sumi!" The little raven calls out from the middle of the living room, on the carpet with toys scattered around. He makes a gesture with his hands telling her to come to him.

Atsumu and Kiyoomi don't miss the glare Sumi throws at Kitsu before stomping off to him. As if on cue, the alpha's phone vibrates, indicating a text. The omega on the other hand, makes his way to the kitchen after his golden eyes meet the clock. He has to prepare dinner now.

Once the ravenette was close enough to her twin, she scowls. "Good job! My charm was about to work on them!"

"You have no charm. You look like a swamp monster." Kitsu replies, unimpressed.

As Sumi was about to hit Kitsu on his arm, the latter points his toy gun at her, a threat that immediately stops the little girl. "Try to touch me, I'll shoot."

"Mama told ya to stop that!" She whines.

"Yes but uncle Kei taught me 'loopholes'." Kitsu's lips curve into another provoking smirk, half-lidded eyes dangerous.

"I hate you!" Sumi pouts. "Where did you get the idea to ask a sister anyways?"

"Uncle 'Samu said that a baby is made from two people's love. If they want to give you what you want, they have to love each other." Kitsu explains.

"What? How does that even work?!"

The little boy shrugs. "All I know is that I know more about love than you, ya maid."

"I'm a princess!"

"No, you're a maid. I'm a Knight."

"If I'm a maid, then you're a stray fox!"

Sumi didn't expect two hands pinching at her rosy cheeks. Confusion (and slight pain) fills her because there's no way her brother would touch her. "He-hey! I thought you don't like touching?!"

"You washed your face earlier." Kitsu reasons out, unimpressed.

"I really hate ya!"

\---

Haiba Morisuke: sakusa-san

Me: good evening morisuke-san. u need anything?

Haiba Morisuke: I know it's not in my place to bother you about this, but think things through

Me: what do you mean?

Haiba Morisuke: do you really want atsumu back

Haiba Morisuke: because you really love him?

Haiba Morisuke: or because of the kids?

Kiyoomi freezes. It has never occurred to him that he only wants the kids to stay. If anything, he wants Atsumu too as well. But then again, he wouldn't have thought of the setter if it weren't for the kids. If he hadn't found the kids back then, they still would've remained strangers, and the whole tangled knot of feelings wouldn't have returned to him.

So, how does he really feel about Atsumu?

The raven has never been unsure of anything in his life. He always secures his thoughts, and if anything, he's always adamant on his decisions. Uncertainty is foreign to him. Indecisiveness is out of his bubble. But alas, the situation has given Kiyoomi another emotion: confusion.

Haiba Morisuke: you haven't answered for a while now.

Me: I apologize for making you wait.

Haiba Morisuke: confused?

Me: I guess so

Haiba Morisuke: it's very unlikely for you to be confused.

Haiba Morisuke: if it helps, I suggest that if you ever come to the conclusion that you don't really love him

Haiba Morisuke: you can accord on something with him. One twin stays, and the other goes to vancouver

Haiba Morisuke: How about that?

No. Kiyoomi doesn't want that.

Me: I don't want that

Haiba Morisuke: then what do you want?

The alpha pauses. His thoughts are scattered in his head, not knowing how to organize them. A million ambivalent thoughts chase one another, a fight for clarification. If a thought is proven wrong, then the opposing one wins. It's as if Kiyoomi can't solve a math equation, which he always gets right. It's as if Kiyoomi can't piece a puzzle, which he always completes. It's as if Kiyoomi can't serve a ball, which he always does flawlessly.

So this is what it's like to be confused.

It's unfamiliar territory. It's dangerous to Kiyoomi.

Haiba Morisuke: you haven't answered me yet again

Haiba Morisuke: if it helps, I'll elaborate for you

Haiba Morisuke: everything you're doing has one intention behind it

Haiba Morisuke: you either 1. Do it out of guilt

Haiba Morisuke: 2. Want the children

Haiba Morisuke: 3. Truly love him

Haiba Morisuke: so what's it gonna be, sakusa-san?

A swell of emotions enter the raven. He doesn't know, and it's petrifying to not know. Knowledge is powerful because it helps you get through, but what if he doesn't know his own intentions? He doesn't have limited knowledge in this area, because he knows nothing at all.

Me: Morisuke-san, I don't know

This is the first time the spiker confided on someone with the words "I don't know". "I don't know"; the words of an uneducated person. Those are the words of people who are trapped in the virtue of indecisiveness; the words of people who let time decide what they are to become, without truly knowing what they really want. Uncertainty; something that has rarely crossed Kiyoomi's path. Something that renders him weak and bare for his supposedly inevitable life to determine what he's to be.

Kiyoomi isn't one of those people.

But right now, he might just be.

It's unfamiliar territory. It's dangerous to Kiyoomi.

Haiba Morisuke: you once told me that it's dangerous not to know

Me: I am aware of that

Me: but it can't be helped

Haiba Morisuke: do you want to stay confused? fighting for something with no clear intention?

Kiyoomi isn't someone to fight with no intention. It's just a waste of time if he does so. He has ideals, and to him, wasting time would be something equivalent to a sin.

Me: I don't want to stay confused

Haiba Morisuke: then goodluck.

-

This has to work. Morisuke paces around, a bit nervous. If it doesn't, then his dignity be damned.

Not long, his phone buzzes. He peeks on the screen and spots the contact name of the alpha he despises the most. 

Shithead: why is it that whenever you do something sketchy, i sense it.

Me: you're a shithead thats why

Shithead: you're just jealous that i was the one who became captain during our third year

Me: who said i was jealous? i am everything but jealous. in fact, i'm grateful

Me: i saved some braincells because it isnt my priority to deal with lev back then

Me: y'know, since i was not captain

Shithead: at least u deal with him now

Me: irrelevant

Shithead: im serious

Shithead: u did something

Me: hm, what if i did?

Shithead: dont tell me

Me: its with sakusa's situation, why?

Shithead: fuck, ur plans r disastrous

Shithead: dont break them further apart!

Me: excuse me?

Me: im a very good cupid, and a much better matchmaker

Shithead: those are just the same??

Me: is not

Shithead: prove it

Me: spelling and syllabication.

Shithead: wait

Shithead: you werent supposed to do that

Me: but i did

Shithead: that is not a justified explanation

Me: just admit i bring couples together

Shithead: hmm? like

Me: like you and kei, you asshole

Shithead: i dont remember u doing so

Me: bitch

Me: i was the one who forced your sorry-ass to travel to sendai so u can confess to him

Shithead: stfu 

Me: stfu is the weakest comeback you can think of

Shithead: FINE

Shithead: okay, MATCHMAKER, what in the goddamn hell did you do?

Me: easy

Me: I made sakusa doubt if he loves atsumu

Shithead: HOW THE FUCK DO U EXPECT THEM TO WORK WITH THAT STRATEGY OF YOURS?

Me: if you werent such a dumbass, and actually used that brain of yours

Shithead: excuse me, i had a higher mark in science back then than u did

Me: for the love of god, let me finish

Shithead: i thought u were an atheist??

Me: you know what? i dont have time to fuck around with u, goodnight

Shithead: we have different timezones

Me: good night.

Shithead: OKAY OKAY 

Shithead: explain so i dont have to worry about u wrecking what little feelings they have for each other left

Me: sakusa doesnt feel much emotion

Me: he always does stuff like he's a robot

Me: he's like a different breed of human

Shithead: yeah, truth be told its kinda boring

Me: exactly

Me: so he's confused right now

Me: which i doubt he's ever felt true confusion before 

Me: and he's confused because of atsumu

Me: and if atsumu's making him feel all these things then,

Shithead: OH I GOT IT

Shithead: IF A PERSON CAUSES ALL THESE THINGS THAT MAKE U FEEL HUMAN THEN 

Me: bingo

Me: he's in love

Me: makes me wonder what else can atsumu make him feel in the span of the remaining 7 months

Me: once he collects all of that, he'll realize that he loves that asshole

Shithead: huh

Shithead: sometimes u actually do make sense

Me: when have i ever not?

Shithead: when u called god even though ur an atheist

Me: i literally cannot tolerate you

Shithead: but u did 

Shithead: anyways, thats the plan?

Me: yeah. it can go two ways. if it doesnt work,

Me: then theyre never gonna have a chance with each other

Shithead: all or nothing?

Me: all or nothing

It's all or nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's currently 1 am here in the ph, and I managed to fit in updating despite my busy sched. Unfortunately (y'all can lose ur patience with me, it's understandable), the next update will be 1-2 months later. Everything's so busy here (we're renovating our house haha) and online classes... This is harder than I expected oof.
> 
> But of course, this fic isn't discontinued! I already plotted the flow of the story. Please don't lose hope in me lol.
> 
> Thank you for your patience. Ingat kayo (stay safe)


	17. XIII.V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dumbass self forgot the continuation for chapter 13 after two weeks of posting the chapter. well, i hope you enjoy this! (take a break from angst y'all, seriously)
> 
> Edited? nyeessss (insert salamander man noises)

The cool breeze is the only thing that calms him right now. Maybe also the guitar on his lap.

His conversation with Shouyou a while ago is on repeat, like a broken record. He never expected the cheery redhead to have gone through so much. It was so hard to tell, and the thought of that happening to the spiker wouldn't have crossed anyone's mind. Everyone loves Shouyou, in all sorts of love. Atsumu would be lying if he said that he didn't have some sort of infatuation for the younger. It was hard to believe that Tobio had once let go of someone so precious and lovable.

Atsumu is the total opposite of Shouyou. He was (and still is) hard to handle, a big jerk, a whiny brat, and the list goes on and on. Not to mention, he is awfully stubborn. Osamu is the only person who can cope with Atsumu the best, and even he has the hardest time dealing with his twin. It was no wonder why the blond was so unlovable.

But everyone has the urge to feel loved, so it wouldn't hurt to picture a scenario where someone loves him enough to not see him as a burden, right?

Atsumu never wished to be an omega. He grew up thinking that he would become an alpha, and if there was an omega between the two of them, it would be Osamu. But the tables took a dramatic turn as Osamu was presented as an alpha and Atsumu, an omega.

He wonders if the gods really weren't in favor of him. First, they presented him as the lowest class of the three secondary genders, and now they dare not let a single person truly love him for him.

He shakes his head, platinum gold locks swaying in the air. He shouldn't pass the blame to the gods. He should blame it on himself for having this difficult attitude. It's normal for people to choose the easier things.

It's an aberration for people to love other people who are difficult. But somehow, he hopes that it might happen to him. That he might find someone who sees beauty in his adversity.

He doesn't want to think about it anymore. He doesn't want to think about how much of a fool he is for hoping for the impossible. He diverts his thoughts to the song Shouyou mentioned. Kiyoomi's favorite song.

It's a pretty song indeed. The lyrics and the sweet tune of the music make forgiveness sound like an easy thing. But it's not. It wasn't easy for Shouyou, nor it was for Kei. It isn't easy for himself either. It's funny how music can change your perspective of things.

He searches for the chords of the song and surprisingly, it's very easy to play. There might've been a lot of chords that are necessary for the piece, but it's nothing too complex for Atsumu to handle. After all, the guitar has been his best friend. It expressed most of the blond's emotions through the enchantment of sound.

After a brief review of the lyrics, Atsumu can see why Kiyoomi treasures this song very much. It's calming, and the message cuts deep. Each verse prodigiously depicts the sadness and hope of the singer, two extremely ambivalent emotions harmonising in a song about nature.

After testing out some of the chords, Atsumu gets the hang of the melody. Again, it isn't too complex compared to a fingerstyle with seemingly impossible tabs. The strumming pattern is very simple ("beginner level" — Atsumu likes to call it) and the numerous chords needed are the chords he mastered.

Down, up down up — goes the calloused right hand of the omega.

Ah, it truly is beautiful. This song might as well be Atsumu's favorite too.

Once he's practiced enough, he starts plucking the strings for the song's adlib, signifying the start of the solo.

After the adlib, the kadence of the guitar is accompanied by a deep, sweet voice.

_"I can think of all the times"_

_You told me not to touch the light"_

_I never thought that you would be the one"_

Atsumu and Kiyoomi's rivalry dates way back before high school. They met at a middle school-level volleyball training camp in Tokyo. Both haven't presented yet back then, so there was no discrimination between secondary genders. Because of this Atsumu did what he does best; taking all opportunities to bug almost everyone. He learned that mocking Kiyoomi was the best, because of his reactions that compose of grimaces and evident disgust. The rest? History.

But Atsumu never thought of his rival to be the one his heart won't let go of.

_"I couldn't really justify"_

_How you even thought it could be right"_

How heartless was it of Kiyoomi to tell him to abort the kids. He knew that the alpha was definitely another breed of human, but to immediately demand the death of his own children? Unforgivable.

_"Cause everything we cherished is gone"_

Did they even have a lot to keep fighting for? No. They only had the sinful label of 'sex friends' and a love that is one-sided. Maybe it was best for them to part like that. They needn't their families to figure out about this, especially Atsumu's. As an omega, he is to be protected and loved. But look where he is now; hasn't been marked, hasn't been in a proper relationship, but has two five year-olds. It's really pathetic. 

Just like a helpless fly being lured by the blinding lights, Kiyoomi follows the source of the melody just like a few nights ago. His conversation with the libero, still fresh in his mind.

_"And in the end, can you tell me if"_

_"It was worth the try"_

_"So I can decide"_

Atsumu sings. He sings for his broken heart. He sings for a love that was never meant to be. He sings for something that will always remain one-sided. He sings because he is vulnerable, pathetically hoping and hoping for nothing. Was it worth the try? Was it worth hoping for the alpha to love him back? Was it worth the begging, the tears, and his desperation? Was it worth his happiness to chase for a happily ever after? Atsumu's whole situation is like a lotto. He sacrificed a lot just to feel a truthful love, even with the slimmest chances of winning. But life has always been cruel to him, and of course, all his efforts were in vain. 

He's lost almost everything. 

But he'll regain it once he moves to the west. He'll not make the same mistake again. No longer will he be naïve and hopeful for a love that was never meant to be.

_"Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees"_

_"And all will be alright in time"_

Just as he thought his life is all over, just as he thought that he's only alive for the purpose of raising the twins, an offer shone upon him, just like sunshine peeking through the cracks of the dark clouds after a storm. A team based in Vancouver discovered him while watching old matches when he was still the starting setter of the jackals. It is widely understood that Atsumu's tosses were (and still are), flawless and precise. After all, he isn't number two in the country for nothing. And the Canadian team didn't fail to notice this either. So, they took the opportunity to recruit him. In a few months, he'll be boarding the plane along with a teammate of Ojiro, who was introduced to the setter as Tanuma Terada. Tanuma was enlisted in another Canadian team based in Victoria.

Just a few more months, and a new beginning will be there for Atsumu to control. All will be alright in time. No longer will he let life get the best of him. This beginning is for him to keep, not for the past to dominate.

_"From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas,"_

The blond lingers on the younger omega. The ocean; something that Shouyou used to fear. After the overgrown waves of frustration, competition and selfishness between him and Tobio, the calm feeling of love follows to remind them that the sun is still there, even when it's covered by the dark stratus clouds, it remains. The waves will become serene once again, just like how their love used to be.

_"And all will be alright in time."_

Shouyou has his happy ending. Atsumu's convinced that his will come soon.

Pale fingers sneak around the door, slowly opening it with agility, careful as to not interrupt the blond. Kiyoomi can't express how much his heart overflows upon hearing his favorite song, being played on the guitar of the omega. He observes Atsumu, sitting in the comfort of his dark room, in front of the window where the moon decides to transfer its beauty onto him. The beautiful glow of the moonlight coats his gorgeous appearance, making him look celestial than he already is.

Ah. Kiyoomi thinks. Atsumu's an angel in disguise. Underneath the many layers of his assholery and iniquitous smirks is a selfless saint, always considering others before himself, always keeping the sincerity of his godsent smiles hidden.

This so-called angel is unaware of the alpha's presence, therefore he continues the song unbothered.

_"Ohh you never really love someone until,"_

_"You learn to forgive."_ A deeper voice finishes the verse.

The omega's eyes snap open upon the familiarity of that voice, he turns his head to the door to find Kiyoomi inviting himself in with a sheepish smile. Nonetheless, Atsumu continues to strum the guitar for the short instrumental that comes before the third verse.

Hmm. Maybe Atsumu will indulge him just for this night. He continues as if he didn't stop for a few seconds.

_"Try as hard as I might,"_

_"To flee the shadows of the night"_

_"It haunts me and it makes me feel blue"_

Atsumu continues to sing, bowing his head in an attempt to hide it in shame. The thoughts of anxiety chaining him from loving again, they always haunt him; replaying the scenario where he was at his lowest, over and over again. In times like this, the faces of his children don't even register in his mind. Maybe all the trauma he passed on to them was his fault. It was his fault for letting the past take over him. 

The alpha leans by the wall, listening attentively to the emotion straining the other's voice.

_"But how can I try to hide,"_

_"When every breath and every hour"_

_"I still end up thinking of you"_

Atsumu's eyes look up to Kiyoomi, returning the same sheepish smile the raven presented to him a while ago. The latter found it endearing; the slight blush painting his moonlit cheeks, and the modest, godsent smile resting on his lips. Atsumu looks like a middle-school girl yearning for her crush. The gesture almost tells Kiyoomi to continue the next line, so without thinking twice, he does.

_"And in the end everything we have"_

_"Makes it worth the fight,"_

Kiyoomi sings because it's true. They didn't have a lot back then, but they have the most right now. Two beautiful children; one with the prettiest of smiles, and the other with the most halcyon of silences. If everything the gods gave Atsumu was a curse, then those two were a blessing straight from heaven. That blessing is more than enough to keep them fighting.

_"So I will hold on for as long,"_

_"As leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees"_

Atsumu sings this first line of the chorus as his legs unconsciously bring him up, longing for Kiyoomi's touch. 

_"And all will be alright in time"_

The raven continues, emitting the same reaction as he slowly approaches the blond.

_"From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas,"_

Atsumu sings for Shouyou, because the oceans tell his story with Tobio.

_"And all will be alright in time"_

Kiyoomi repeats, now closer to the blond. He too wants to feel Atsumu once more. He wants to thread his fingers on those impossibly soft locks of bleached hair, to wrap his arms around his waist and wipe his tears away; the tears that he caused. He wants to make it alright, because angels deserve the best. He concludes that he deserves to go to the deepest pit of hell, for the sin of causing an angel this much pain and anguish.

_"Ohh you never really love someone until you learn to forgive"_

Two voices become one as the moon listens to the combination of their emotions.

_"I never thought that I would see the day."_

_"That I'd decide if I should leave or stay"_

Guitar still in his hands, Atsumu's voice quavers with uncertainty. After all Kiyoomi has done, why would he still consider staying? Will he leave the opportunity of a new beginning behind, just to run away with Kiyoomi? Any sane person wouldn't want to go back to something that broke them.

Maybe he's a hypocrite for calling the redhead insane. Atsumu's love for the alpha is beyond crazy.

_"But in the end what makes it worth the fight's"_

_"That no matter what happens we try to make it right."_

Kiyoomi's voice fills the room. He'll make it right, no matter what's the reason behind it, he will. For the angel approaching closer to him with every line, he will give him another reason to love. Another reason to believe in heaven.

_"Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees"_

_"And all will be alright in time"_

Kiyoomi continues slowly. He's determined that all will really be alright in time. Leaves of happiness and contentment will grow from the branches of the blond's misfortune. His eyes will shine with the lovely shades of green and yellow once more, no longer those of the dull brown.

_"From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas"_

_"And all will be alright in time"_

Atsumu closes his eyes, thinking about the serenity of the waves. He can see Shouyou and Tobio, their foreheads meeting as they hold each other in the middle of the ocean, never letting go. They look so peaceful and Atsumu wants that. He wants peace with Kiyoomi.

_"Wounds of the past will eventually heal"_

_"And all will be alright in time"_

Although the raven has no right to sing that line with such ease, as if healing was as simple as that, he does. Because he has faith that he can heal the damage he caused. He takes the initiative and takes a step closer to the shorter. Reaching out is something that he should've done ages ago, but it's better late than never. 

_"'Cause all of this comes with a love that is real"_

_"I said all will be alright in time"_

The omega voices these lines, emotion aggrandizing the meaning; an indirect confession. Kiyoomi's eyes widen slightly, greedily wanting to get closer and closer to the angel in front of him. Now's not the time to be a coward, so his feet take a step forward as he sings the next line.

_"I said all will be alright in time"_

_"I said all will be alright in time"_

Atsumu repeats, following the alpha's actions, making them closer than ever. There's still a wall of doubt telling him to keep his distance, a result of past experiences. Despite this, he allocates them. Maybe just for tonight, he can pretend nothing happened between them. Just for tonight, he can be naïve again.

_"All will be alright in time"_

Kiyoomi continues with another step, they are now an arm's length away. The distance is very little, but it still feels as if they are miles and miles apart. Maybe that's what comes with time apart; the loss of the feeling of each other. Somehow, the spiker wants to break the distance, and feel the real Atsumu in his arms. 

_"Ohh, you never really love someone until"_

With a deep but timid voice, Atsumu sings. He takes two steps closer, the feeling of wanting each other is mutual, and a feeling worth fighting for.

_"You learn to forgive"_

Both of their voices mix harmoniously, as if the gods intended for them to be meant for each other. Kiyoomi takes the last steps, effectively closing the distance as they now stand right in front of each other. It feels foreign, as if they're strangers with a deep affinity towards one another. It feels foreign but it also feels right.

They take the time to look at each other's eyes before continuing the last two lines of the song. Kiyoomi sees the fervor in Atsumu's eyes; the yearning, the doubt, the pain and the holding back. Atsumu's holding back, the past tugging on his chains, not wanting him to get much closer to the alpha.

So, Kiyoomi takes the initiative.

_"You learn to forgive"_

He whisper-sings as his pale, cold hands meet Atsumu's tan cheeks, now coated in light blush. It was in that moment when Kiyoomi cups the older's cheeks that he decides his hands frame Atsumu's face perfectly. 

_"Learn to forgive"_

Atsumu repeats slowly, voice hesitant and strained. But even with his so voice broken and unsure, it still is heavenly. The omega's been hiding this sweet tone of his under the mischievous and teasing voice he equips to protect his vulnerability. 

He slowly strums the last chords to end the song. Kiyoomi gently grips his chin, as if asking for permission. The slight nod Atsumu gives him is all he needs to see before inching his face closer. Atsumu, who is helpless when it comes to the alpha, follows his actions. He gives Kiyoomi his trust as he closes his eyes.

The taller's heart fills with so much adoration. Despite everything, Atsumu still trusts him. Why did he ever let go of him in the first place?

Kiyoomi's convinced that he's on Satan's list; that he's going to hell for the sin of hurting an angel. He as well closes his eyes, accepting his fate in inferno.

By then they can feel each other's breaths as they inch closer. Those breaths hold evidence of a good kind of anxiety. One that they longed to feel in five years, one that equivalents the excitement of falling in love. But in just a few moments, Kiyoomi's going to taste the bittersweet citrus again, and for Atsumu, the alluring lavender. Just a little closer.

Closer and closer, anticipation and want taking over as-

_Crash_

It seems like Atsumu lost another plate, for the third time this month. Their ears also catch the quick footsteps abusing the floorboard. Both men's eyes open instantly at the disturbance from outside the room. 

"Stay still will you! You— you brat! You're so annoying!" Kiyoomi has never heard such a frustrated and feral Kitsu before.

"Waaaaah, MAMA! He's gonna shoot me!" Sumi's plea of help snaps Atsumu back into his senses as he pulls away.

"I knew ya shouldn't've bought him nerf guns!" Says the blond to the raven as he rolls his eyes. Despite this, a fond smile stains the former's lips. He gives in to a chuckle. "Now I hafta' help yer daughter."

Atsumu puts the guitar down and awkwardly leaves the room, rushing to where the two children are bickering.

That was close. Kiyoomi doesn't know what exactly to feel after the whole exchange.

All he knows is that there's an overwhelming feeling of fondness in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: updates a non-angst chapter during hq angst week  
> everone else in the fandom: wait, that's illegal
> 
> Anyways, (points gun at your head) THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO LISTEN TO LEAVES BY BEN&BEN, THIS IS A THREAT
> 
> my update plan is still not changing. itll take a month, im sorry. i just forgot to post this chapter along with the last one.
> 
> im @one_two_thlee on twitter! dont be shy to send a dm, id appreciate it :'))
> 
> Lastly, hows everyone in the ph after typhoon rolly? anyone from Albay? Catanduanes? i hope yall are safe!!


	18. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more to Osamu and Rintarou that Kiyoomi doesn't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good evening (morning rather) homosexuals, im back lol. still have school works to do but it wouldnt hurt to allocate them for tonight just to update hihi |･ω･)

A month swiftly passes by, with Kiyoomi often visiting during weekends. Despite his frequent appearances, he doesn't talk much with Atsumu. Ever since that duet, the raven's confusion has sky-rocketed. And ever since that duet, Atsumu ignores him unless interactions are necessary. An example of an interaction is being in front of their kids, because the blond doesn't want the twins to grow up mistaking that the idea of parents distant to each other is okay for a healthy relationship. Unlike him, he wants both kids to be happy and open with their future significant others.

One night, Kiyoomi hears a vigorous knocking at the front door to Atsumu's apartment. His two moles ride up along with his right eyebrow as his thoughts scan all scenarios possible if he opens the door. I mean, it could be a mad psychopath or anything and it's better to be safe than sorry, right? That is until he smells the familiar scent of forest. He knows very well that if it isn't Atsumu causing that scent, then there's only one person other than him who can. 

True to his words, when he opens the door, Osamu pops into view, sweaty and out of breath. Along with him is a little girl that looks like Rintarou. The only thing in her appearance that screams like the other alpha are those smoky grey eyes.

"Tsu-! Ah, it's you Sakusa, hello. Where's Tsumu?" The older rushes, holding the hand of the little girl, who looks up at Kiyoomi in curiosity.

"He's changing the kids in their pajamas. Would you like to wait for him?"

"Ain't got no time for that! Listen, 'm in a rush, Rin's at his heat, I'll leave Ruru with ya." Osamu says even faster.

The spiker only looks at him in disbelief. "If you were in such a hurry, then why did you drive four hours just to drop your daughter off? Don't you have acquaintances in Tokyo?" 

"For the record! It only took two hours cuz' I rushed!" 

"Isn't that against the speed li-"

"I have to go now sweetie, yer mama's waitin' for me. Have fun with Uncle Tsumu and Uncle Omi!" Osamu hurriedly crouches down to give the little girl a kiss on her cheek as he gives her a little pastel backpack. Afterwards, he spares no second in getting back in his car and driving off at a speed that Kiyoomi wouldn't dare to drive in. 

And then, a staring contest. The alpha carefully observes the demeanour of Osamu's daughter who he only saw in person just now. Usually the twins would tell stories of their older cousin, and how they look up to her. She has long, straight, dark brown hair that rests on her little back. Her eyes look back up at him, very fox-like (just like Kitsu's) if it weren't for the dull color of grey. She's also pale, an attribute she got from Rintarou. Amongst all the details in her appearance, the most notable one was her resting poker face (bitch face, Atsumu likes to call it when describing his brother's annoying monotonous expression) that was inherited from both parents.

"I don't like you. You keep winning against mama." The little girl bites as her eyes narrow in a judging gaze. Although annoyed, the raven feels smug. 

"I'm honored to be recognized by you, but unfortunately, I'm your uncle." Kiyoomi barks back. He doesn't like the attitude radiating from her.

"How so?"

"Let's just say that I'm the father of your cousins." 

It takes a while for the revelation to sink in the little girl's head. She cocks her head intently, the poker-like expression fading as her half-lidded eyes widen just a bit, all this leading to an expression of surprise.

"Did you rise from the dead?"

"Huh?" Kiyoomi has no clue what the little girl is talking about.

"The apocalypse is starting!" The little girl raises her little arms up in the air and flails them in panic. Her expression is much more lively, as if her resting bitch face never existed. Her overall composure has disintegrated as her childish phantasms get the best of her.

A chuckle interrupts from inside the house. "I daresay."

Kiyoomi and the little girl turn their heads to find Atsumu walking towards the door. In an instant, the little girl ran to her uncle and hugged his legs.

The omega is quick to crouch. "Woah there Rumiko! What's the—"

"Uncle Tsumu, there's a zombie in your home!"

"Silly!" The blond teasingly flicks her forehead. "He's not a zombie."

"But he said he's Sumi and Kitsu's father and they said their father is dead!" Rumiko reasons out.

Ah. So that's what this is about. The smile on Atsumu's face is swept away as he realizes his lies. Before he can say anything though, two enthusiastic children run to the brunette.

"Ruru-nee!" Sumi calls out. "Nee-san, I have a dollhouse just like yours! Wanna play?"

"And I have new nerf guns to shoot both of you if you get annoying." Kitsu deadpans. Girls are always troublesome. Maybe not all, but another girl with his sister? Chaotic.

"Don't scare Ruru like that!" The ravenette scolds.

"It's alright." The older says calmly. She opens her pastel backpack and takes a book out. "Sumi, I brought your favorite storybook, want me to read it to you?"

Sumi beams instantly. "Yeah!"

Kitsu rolls his eyes. Again, he might be quiet but he hates it when his sister gets all the attention. This of course, does not go unnoticed as Rumiko pats his head. "My hands are clean, if you're wondering. And, I'll teach you some words too."

His eyes tell everything as sparkles shone in them. He nods enthusiastically.

"Ight'. Guess that's settled. Both of ya set the playin' mat, 'kay?" Says the blond, and both kids were fast enough to obey, rushing to the living room. Atsumu then turns to his niece. "Yer mama's at his heat?"

Rumiko nods as she clutches the strap of her backpack. "Papa was so fast in driving, I was worried we were going to hit something."

The omega chuckles. "The things we do for love. Wouldja' like to rest first?"

The little girl shakes her head. "No, I really miss Sumi and Kitsu. I want to play with them."

"Alright then, you can follow them to the living room." Atsumu says before standing up and walking to Kiyoomi. "Ya really don't have any intention in closing the door, do ya?"

The alpha's attention goes to the door that is wide open for any passer by to see. Kiyoomi was too distracted by his numerous questions about this little girl, to notice this. Atsumu closes the door and starts for the living room, Kiyoomi follows. They both sat down at the couch, watching the three children play with each other. There was a reasonable distance between them. It was reasonable because they were no more than strangers, who have kids together and a very unignorable past.

"Who is she?" The raven tries his luck in starting a conversation.

"Miya Rumiko. 'Samu and Rin's only child."

Kiyoomi raises a brow. Is there a meaning behind 'only'? Usually, when you introduce your kid, it's not necessary to say 'only', even if they have no other siblings. Because, you can always make another, right?

Atsumu seems to notice the confusion written on the younger's face. "I lit'rally mean only, b'cause they won't be havin' more in the future."

"Huh?"

"Rin can't conceive anymore."

Oh.

"Ya might be wonderin' why 'Samu chose to drive four hours here 'stead of jus' droppin' Ruru with someone at Tokyo."

"Yeah, I actually did earlier." Kiyoomi admits. It would be stupid if Osamu did all this without a specific reasoning in mind. Not to mention, time-consuming.

"'Samu is very overprotective of Rumiko. He'd rather waste hours jus' to drive her here than to let somethin' happen to her in the hands of someone not as trustworthy as me."

"What happened to Suna-san for him to suddenly be infertile?"

"Well," Atsumu leans his head back, amber eyes reflecting the soft pale glow of the modern chandelier, as if he was reliving the past. He was reminiscing. "'Samu and Rin started dating back then in our second year of high school. T'was only when we graduated that 'Samu marked him."

"They had everyone's ideal relationship. Sure, fights happened here n' there, but that's normal, right? What mattered the most is that they loved and supported each other even with the distance and even when they separated paths." The blond continues. At first, Atsumu didn't like it when he learned that Osamu wouldn't be pursuing volleyball anymore. Rintarou, was one of the people who also didn't like the alpha's decision.

"Now jus' like every other alpha, 'Samu loved the idea of a family. He told me that he wished to have at least one boy and one girl. Twins boys would be awesome as well, so that he can experience our mother's troubles when raisin' the both of us."

"They had Rumiko eight years ago. Quite young right? That didn't matter, cuz' they were happy." Atsumu chuckles as Kiyoomi listens intently.

"But one day, Rin had a miscarriage. If the baby lived, it would've been the same age as the twins now." Atsumu starts sadly. "After visiting an omega specialist, Rin was told that he couldn't get pregnant anymore. That broke both of 'em."

"Especially 'Samu. He always wanted a boy as well." The setter sighs. "Now don't get me wrong, he really loves Sunarin, but after this appointment, he can't help but feel disappointed." 

Osamu's dreams of his ideal family faded into nothing. It was discovered that the reason for Rintarou's miscarriage was because his body was in no shape for a baby to grow in his womb anymore due to the over-extensive training regimens he's been through previously. Of course, it can't be helped. He's a pro player and he has to work in order to improve.

The thing is, Rintarou always had a frail body, that's why other pro-athlete omegas can get pregnant, but he can't. Overworking is dangerous to his health, but he's still stubbornly insistent when it comes to his career.

But he regretted all of that after that incident five years ago.

\---

Atsumu stands by the doorstep of Osamu and Rintarou's shared home. He decided to visit and congratulate the taller omega for their latest victory against them in the recent Jackals vs. Raijins match. In his plastic bag, a container filled with mochi as the thought of seeing his niece again excites him. He lifts his wrist, but just as he was about to knock, he heard yelling.

"I told ya not to overwork yourself! Look what happened!"

"I'm a pro-athlete, what I am doing is required for my body!"

"Required for yer body? Meaning to say ya planned this miscarriage?! So that you can keep playing this season?!" Osamu yells with all fury.

An audible gasp was heard, and even from the other side of the door, Atsumu can hear the pain, the heartbreak and the affliction in that gasp. The blond was enraged. He would like nothing more to do than to barge in, and scold his brother for his insensitive words. As he was about to open the door, he halts upon hearing a soft sob.

"I'm sorry! I would never intentionally kill a child, especially one that's ours. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I can't help you build the family you wanted." Rintarou pleads forgiveness and Atsumu hears a thump. The lanky middle blocker is now on the floor, weeping.

The angry scent of Osamu then softens, in realization of what he's done.

"I—I... Fuck, forget it." Says the frustrated alpha, as he stomps out of the house, opening the door and almost bumping into Atsumu.

"Tsumu..."

"I heard everythin'. Ya can't just leave like that." His twin scolds, a stern look in his face. "It isn't his fault! Ya can't stop 'im from playin' volleyball!"

"Yer givin' me a headache here! Leave me alone for a split second!"

"Sunarin is on the floor." Atsumu says in between gritted teeth. "Apologize. Now."

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE." Osamu snaps, unintentionally using his alpha voice.

Atsumu is stunned and Rintarou's breath hitches. Then Osamu walks away from the house, getting in his car and driving off.

The blond ran to the other omega, shutting the door behind him and falling to the floor, hugging Rintarou. The taller only sobbed. And it hurts to know that Osamu was the reason behind it.

"I can't help myself, Atsumu. I always overwork and look where I am now. A useless omega. An omega who can't make his alpha happy."

"Shh, don't believe that. You've made 'Samu happy a lot of time already. Don't blame yourself, it's his fault for not understandin'." The blond pacifies.

"I just wanted to improve. I wanted to beat you guys..."

"Hey, look at me." Atsumu wraps his face in both his palms. His hands can feel the warm tears of the taller and they only broke him more. "Ya already did in our last match. 'n you will do it again in the future. 'm sure Samu's proud of ya for that, so proud."

"But can I make him proud again in the future?"

The shorter can see desperation of hope in Rintarou's usually dull yellow-green eyes. He has never seen those eyes so broken, and so full of emotion before. This is a side of Rintarou that only Osamu can unlock, and Atsumu hates his brother for doing so.

After receiving only silence from Atsumu, the brunet starts to panic. "What if he abandons me? What if he finds another omega that can give him another child?" Rintarou rushes as a fresh batch of tears trail down his pale face. He loves the alpha more than anything, he couldn't bear the thought of losing Osamu.

"No no, shhh, 'Samu will never do that to ya. He loves yo—"

"I knew I shouldn't have overworked! I should've taken care of myself! I shouldn't have continued volleyball!"

Atsumu freezes. It has always been Rintarou's dream to be a well-known volleyball player in Japan. Going pro was the best option for him because it truly makes him happy. The fact that Osamu has the ability to make the brunet abandon his dreams just to satisfy the alpha makes Atsumu sick. He has never felt this disgusted towards his twin. And the fact that Osamu was insensitive and snapped at his mate only added to the anger.

"Hey, deep breaths. Everything'll be alright. 'Samu won't leave ya just for somethin' so petty."

"Except it isn't petty! Because this is his dream we're talking about!" Rintarou continues to weep.

Atsumu tries his best to calm the taller. He assists him back to Osamu and his shared bedroom, and tucked him in. He gave him water to drink before the brunet can fall asleep.

Rumiko, who was a little over two years old, was oblivious to everything. She sits still in her bedroom, behave as her uncle enters with a knock. "'cle tsum-tsu." She mutters.

"Hm?" The blond walks to sit beside her.

"Be-ii bwo de?" She asks, tilting her head.

Her silver eyes are so innocent, unlike Osamu's that were filled with rage a while ago.

Atsumu smiles sadly. "Sorry sugarcube, but you won't be havin' a baby brother."

The little girl pouts, crossing her arms. The setter would've found the gesture cute and endearing if it weren't for the disappointment fresh in her eyes. "I wan be big sister!"

Atsumu pats her head and flashes a gorgeous, hopeful smile. "One day, I'll give ya cousins, so that you can be a big sister."

\---

"A few months after that incident, I got pregnant."

Kiyoomi freezes.

"One day, I thought of abortin' them. I thought that if I considered what ya said, I could run back into yer arms. But then Osamu stopped me."

\---

"Where are ya goin'?" Osamu asks from the kitchen counter, a brow raised. He was cooking teriyaki and soba for lunch. The setter rushes downstairs and towards the front door.

Atsumu shrugs. "Nowhere important"

"Don't go anywhere, yer pregnant."

"Well, that won't stop me." The omega hisses. His life has drastically changed because of the child growing in him. Or, children perhaps.

"Then I will." The alpha stands up from the couch and approaches his brother. His scent is menacing, a clear threat to the omega. "Don't even think about it."

Atsumu gulps. "About what?"

"About killing it." Osamu snarls threateningly.

Atsumu's breath hitches. He's been caught red-handed. He needs to find an excuse

"Ya think I can provide for it?" He starts as he turns to finally face his other half. "It'll only die in my arms, it's better to spare it from the suffering once it's born."

"That's not the only reason." Osamu says bluntly.

"Then what do ya know?"

"Ya think that if ya get rid of it, ya can go back to him."

Caught red-handed again. Atsumu is speechless. "How did y—"

"It's obvious how ya still want him." The cook inches closer to his brother, leaning into his ear as he whispers Atsumu's most agonizing reality. "But Tsumu, he doesn't want ya."

He steps away, sending a stern glare. They say that the most frightening alphas are those with grey eyes, the eyes of a literal wolf. This fact is not the least bit apocryphal. Osamu might be one of the less dominant kinds and from afar, he might not even seem like an alpha, but once his scent of forest and smoke combine with the stare of piercing metallic silver eyes, you'll know that you've already lost to the intensity of his gaze. "Give it up Atsumu. He ain't shit."

"But—"

"He ain't shit." Osamu repeats with a harsh tone.

Atsumu is the exact opposite, albeit an omega, everything in him screams dominance (except when he's in his heat). Although he demands and commands, his eyes always seem to contrast that. Those eyes are sweet, with the promise of honey hues and sunshine. They were blessed with the most beautiful color that bridges between brown and yellow. His eyes tell of autumn and hot cocoa, a combination that fends off the cold, only to be later on passed down to both his children. Those eyes were never cold, unlike Osamu's. 

The most hurtful you will see of those eyes, is when they look up at you with broken hope. Just like their current situation. 

Those eyes always carried the hope of Kiyoomi loving him back. Hell, even if it wasn't love, even if it was just wanting him for one more night.

"I can't do this 'Samu." The omega pleads, weak on his knees. "I don't have a mate, and I can't provide for it. Even if I want to, I can't keep it."

"Yes you can."

"What is it that ya don't unders—"

"Ya promised to give Ruru a cousin." Osamu grits his teeth, but Atsumu doesn't mind that. Instead, he catches the desperate tilt of his voice. "She wants to be a big sister."

Atsumu still looks hesitant.

"Ya also dreamed of this, right? Don't let some bastard and unrequited feelings stop ya from this." Osamu says.

"But—"

"I'll help ya. Anything ya need, just do yer best to raise it right." The alpha gives a thoughtful pause before continuing. "I'll help ya raise it."

"Are ya sure?"

The raven nods, determinedly. "You were blessed with somethin' that I yearned for. Don't waste this opportunity."

It was Osamu's dream to have another child, and Atsumu is the only one who can grant that.

Atsumu is not selfish. He was never selfish. He carries all the burden to brush the weight off everyone's shoulders.

Atsumu is never selfish. So he grants his brother's wish.

\---

"After a month or two, we found out I was havin' twins. Somehow, 'Samu envied me. Specially when we learned their genders." Atsumu continues, eyes serenely watching the three children.

Osamu wanted a girl and a boy.

Atsumu has it. What's more, they're twins.

"What happened to him and Suna-san?" Kiyoomi inquires.

"Well, they still lived under the same roof, but they were distant to each other." Atsumu recalls. "Their relationship was at its lowest. Sometimes, Rin even refused to let 'Samu help him with his heat. Rumiko was always crying then, because even she knew that her parents were falling apart."

"Then, the twins were born. 'Samu didn't like them at first because they looked too much like ya. But as they grew, they acted more like Miyas. Kitsu was a mini 'Samu, and Sumi was a mini me. 'Samu then grew fond of them." The setter continues his narration. "I couldn't raise them by myself. Inevitably, I had to go back to volleyball. So although most of their time is spent with me, a lot of it's also spent in 'Samu 'n Rin's household. Specifically when I was workin' on myself to get ready to play volleyball again."

"When they reached a year old, they spent the whole year living with 'Samu. He was their first father and Rin was their second mother. Ruru saw them not as cousins, but as siblings. The twins made them happier. In the span of that year, 'Samu fell back in love with Rin. And from there, their relationship only prospered. Everything was well."

 _I was the only one who wasn't_ was what Atsumu wanted to add, but he didn't bother.

"If yer sad that ya weren't their first words, then ya aren't the only one. Sumi's was 'Samsam' and Kitsu's was 'Samu'. That lucky bastard." The omega chuckles teasingly. "He stole my children." 

Atsumu has a genuine smile on his face as he stares blankly at the wall. Kiyoomi can only look at him. Somehow, he couldn't find any reasons to be angry at the omega's brother. Even when he claimed his children's first words, and even when he claimed the title of their first father. What happened was only right. Kiyoomi doesn't deserve the attention his kids gave Osamu. In fact, he doesn't deserve to be in that very living room, talking to probably the prettiest omega he's ever laid his eyes on, watching their children play merrily. 

"That's why no matter how much 'Samu wants to hate on ya, he's actually grateful. The kids somehow saved his and Rin's relationship." The smile does not fade from Atsumu's face. 

"That time in the Tokyo branch..." Atsumu starts and doesn't miss the nervous gulp of the alpha. "'Samu wasn't only hostile towards ya because of uh... what ya did... to me." The blond looks away and this time, it was him who was nervous with saying that. Nevertheless, he continues. "But because he knew that when you'd appear in their lives, he'd lose his other two children."

Kiyoomi doesn't deserve a lot of things. Including Osamu's kindness towards him back then. Not to mention, Osamu's trust in him. The other alpha trusts him with Atsumu, and that's definitely something Kiyoomi doesn't deserve. 

He'll have to make things right.

"How are Osamu-san and Suna-san now?" The spiker queries. 

"Engaged. 'Samu proposed a few months back." Atsumu starts. "The wedding will be next year."

The blond couldn't stop himself from saying the next words. "But I won't be here when that happens."

As soon as realization struck the setter, his eyes widened, still living under the impression that Kiyoomi hadn't already known. He avoids eye contact with the younger, his eyes glued down to the ground instead.

Kiyoomi considers asking just to make sure that what Tetsurou and Kei told him wasn't a rumour, but before he can think about seven times like he usually does, he impulsively lets the question slip. 

"Is it true? You're going abroad?"

The omega stiffens. Maybe it's time to tell him? Yeah. Atsumu decides. He has all the right to know.

"Yeah." He exhales breathily, accompanied by a humble nod. "It's true."

Kiyoomi has never wanted a truth to become false this much before.

\---

While Atsumu cooks dinner, the three children transfer their toys to the twins' bedroom, where they resume their play date. Kiyoomi tags along with them to make sure that no trouble is ensured. 

Just like any ordinary set of siblings, Sumi and Kitsu are noisiest when together. If you want to make the latter speak up amidst his quiet personality, just put him next to his sister. Pros? You get to hear him speak along with his broken composure. Cons? You have to endure endless, useless bickering for the rest of the day. Another pro? It's actually funny and entertaining. 

At five years old, they are one of the set of twins who are hardest to manage. Once they start yelling at each other, it's almost impossible to stop them. One of the people who can control them is Rumiko, the cousin both twins look up on. One scold and they'll stop. But unfortunately, that's not the case currently. 

"Both of you stop. You're in front of your father." Rumiko starts, and by the unimpressed expression of her face, Kiyoomi can say that she's done with their crap.

"Hey, you two have to listen to your Ruru-onee." Kiyoomi starts in an attempt to halt their bickering. "You won't get to listen to her more often once you move overseas."

All three children stop and divert their attention to the alpha. 

"Mama told you?" Kitsu queries.

Kiyoomi sighs gently, but tries his best to give a small smile. "He did."

"You're not excited?" The spiker asks.

"No." Sumi shakes her head, whispering in a deprecatory tone. "I don't wanna go. I wanna stay here."

"Why not?"

"It's not home." Kitsu supplies. "It doesn't feel right."

Kiyoomi's brows furrow. Why would Atsumu force this on them? "Did you try telling your mother?"

"Yes. But he said it'll get better. But it won't. I know it." The little boy continues.

"I don't like uncle Tsum-tsum's decision too." Rumiko says, her demeanor calm. For an eight-year old, she acts so tranquil and composed. "He had a fight with papa because of this."

Of course. If the news of Atsumu moving to Canada breaks him, then it completely destroys Osamu. They did everything together and were literally stuck with each other even before they were born; even before they were aware of the other. Although they might have separated a bit after high school, they still were there for each other, no matter what the distance.

But with the distance of over five thousand meters, a lot of obstacles will test their bond. Time zones are one, and the fact that they will no longer be a few hours away from each other, that time span replaced with days, it all scares Osamu.

Atsumu's decision might affect the other alpha more than it does to Kiyoomi.

That decision is Kiyoomi's fault.

\---

"How's Rin?" Atsumu asks, opening the door for his twin to enter. It's been two days since Osamu sent Rumiko.

"Still in heat, but he's asleep. I think he won't be needin' any more explicit activity." Osamu lets himself in, wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk.

"Ew, gross! Don't brag about yer sex life to me!" The omega slaps the other's arm repeatedly with his face contorted into pure disgust as his twin laughs obnoxiously at the reaction.

"Okay, kay', stop!" Osamu says, retreating his arm and rubbing it to alleviate the pain. "'m here to pick up Ruru."

Atsumu nods as he calls out for the little girl. Kiyoomi, who was spending the weekend with the omega and the kids, takes the initiative to greet Osamu. 

"Good afternoon Sakusa-san." The cook greets with a smile.

The spiker doesn't reply with a greeting and instead bows impossibly low, a gesture of respect. "Thank you, for taking care of the twins."

Osamu raises a brow, clearly interested in what the other alpha has to say. "Oya? Atsumu told you?"

Kiyoomi avoids the expectant gaze of the older, and nods hesitantly. "I never got to tell you this, but I'm sorry for being insensitive back then."

"Go on." Osamu was enjoying this. He enjoyed seeing Kiyoomi vulnerable like this. Even though he's mostly okay with him now, he still thinks that the spiker deserves to be seen impuissant such as his current position, for what he did to his brother.

"And..." Kiyoomi starts, unsure. "I also know he's going to leave Japan."

The smugness of the older leaves instantly, replaced with widened eyes. He doesn't want to talk about what Atsumu plans on doing. Then, he shrugs. "Ya can't convince him to stay."

"Maybe I really can't. I'm sorry."

Wow. Osamu expected the spiker to retort and say things like 'he's going to keep trying' or 'I know I can. He's going to stay'. But sometimes, the omega's stubbornness is too much.

"I don't even know if I really love him. I'm confused." Kiyoomi hesitantly admits.

The taller thought that Osamu would have a negative reaction, so he didn't have time to conceal his shock when the latter gave him a carefree smile.

"Well, then do me a favor. Clear that confusion, n' maybe ya might know how to really face him before he goes."

That's the plan, really. But somehow, there's a little spark of hope in Kiyoomi that Atsumu might stay.

Chances are low, but the possibility is still there. While the setter's still in Japan, that evanescent hope remains.

Six months left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall its been awhile. i guess the next update will be during christmas break. my academic performance isnt so great right now haha so i have to focus on making up on it. don't worry! i'll try my best to finish all these activities and then i can update. thank you for sticking by!!


	19. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Control. Kiyoomi needs a lot of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! you're here again haha. i hope yall will like this chapter („ಡωಡ„)

Another month ends and the same routine happens. Kiyoomi visits every weekend and Atsumu ignores him. Maybe, just maybe, less interaction will help him grasp closure. But unfortunately, that's not how things work, and the omega must live with this bitter realization. The first strategy his therapist told him did not in fact work, so he has two more options. If he doesn't get results of progress then it'll be a serious problem.

Atsumu doesn't want to think anymore. His mind is fuzzy, and his vision is clouded. He hasn't been feeling well for two days now. During practice yesterday, his sets were all over the place, but never actually reaching the spiker. Their coach dismissed him early and Kei had to drive him home. The taller also had to make him aware that it might be his heat approaching. Overdosing is traumatic. After what happened, he makes sure not to exceed taking the amount of pills prescribed. Whether it be antidepressants, or even suppressors, he is punctilious with any bottle of pills, or any medication in general. He's caused his kids and Osamu enough trouble already, he doesn't want to weigh them down even more.

But the thing is, Atsumu is incredibly stubborn. It must be a thing of omegas like him and Rintarou to overexert. Even with his awareness of a possible incoming heat, he still denies rest. Usually he would send the twins to either Osamu or Kei. But currently, the alpha is beyond busy with the shop due to a holiday and Kei just left Sendai for an away game at Osaka. He isn't that close to Tetsurou, so asking for assistance would be embarrassing and shameless of him.

So Atsumu does the habit that he mastered for the majority of half a decade— bearing the burden by himself.

Today, Kiyoomi's visiting, free from practice because of their gym's monthly general cleaning, and not to mention it's a holiday. That should be good. Atsumu can ask him to look after the children while he isolates himself in his room for another three days. His scent surely won't trigger a rut in Kiyoomi because his room has scent-blockers installed. If this goes as planned, everything will be okay. 

But unfortunately, the gods, the deities, or life in general - is not in favor of Atsumu. 

Although weak, he forces himself to leave the comfort of his bed, even when he feels lightheaded by only sitting up. His legs feel like noodles and he it’s as if gravity has suddenly become stronger— it takes all his strength for him to not succumb to the magnetism of the floor. He stops to visit the kids' room to find both twins fast asleep and plants a kiss on each forehead. Maybe he'll let them oversleep for a while. They deserve it after a hectic school week.

Atsumu rarely gets drunk now, but he experiences it often. Days in heat feel like a fever dream. No— scratch that, they _are_ fever dreams. He nearly collapses as he holds himself against the wall of the hallway going to the kitchen. This is no time to be weak. The blond tells himself. He has to keep it together until Kiyoomi arrives. He can't leave his children starving. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day for a reason.

His strategy is to not think about not feeling well. Debilitation is a state of mind. Instead, he thinks of the twins' faces once they enter the kitchen, the smell of their favorite pancakes luring them in. Atsumu chuckles as he imagines the sparkles in their autumn eyes. His children really give him strength. 

He also thinks of the aberration that the twins prefer American breakfasts instead of traditional Japanese ones. That should be good, they won't have a hard time adjusting when they travel to the other side of the world. Atsumu nods in satisfaction as he starts pouring the batter on the pan, humming to the tune of Hot Rod, an indie song by Dayglow.

"Hmm, pancakes?" A soft, groggy voice accompanied by a yawn appears from the doorframe of the kitchen.

"Yeah, pancakes." The blond clarifies and turns to find Kitsu, wavy hair sticking up in various directions, little hand rubbing on his lazy half-lidded eyes. He finds it unusual that Kitsu's up this early, even when Atsumu made it clear that they can sleep in today. The little boy always greedily takes every opportunity to sleep, that is if he isn't having another insomniatic episode. 

"Good morning honey, did Sumi wake ya up?" Atsumu asks as he finishes another pancake, placing it on top of the stack of other pancakes ready to be devoured. 

Kitsu shakes his head. "Still sleeping..."

"Oh really? What made ya wake up early then?"

"Scent... gone." Two words and the blond finally gets his reasoning. He approaches his son, and lifts him up into one of the stools of the kitchen bar. That way, he can scent him easier. 

One of Kitsu's weaknesses is Atsumu's scent. When the twins were younger, Sumi used to cry more often but Kitsu cries for a longer duration. The only way to calm him down was Atsumu's soothing scent of citrus. Now they're older, they don't cry anymore, but Kitsu has issues with his sleep. Comparatively, he's an insomniac. Without his mother's scent, he can't sleep deeply, and tends to suddenly wake up with a rather irritable temper. 

The omega makes sure the little raven is comfortable before he rubs his wrist on his neck and cheek. He does it gently, careful of his son's delicate and pale skin, and the scent of the sour fruit and forest diffuses, covering up the smell of pancakes. Slowly, the scent acts as a sedative and Kitsu's eyelids flutter as he tries to keep himself awake.

"Your scent is stronger ma." The raven says in between yawns. 

"I think it's better, 'cause this scent'll last longer."

"Yeah, but it's making me sleepy." Kitsu yawns once more. "Can I sleep again?"

"Did ya brush yer teeth?"

Kitsu only nods, not trusting himself to open his mouth because there isn't any assurance that he can prevent another yawn from escaping. "Can I sleep now?"

"Nuh uh, pal." Atsumu carries him towards the dining table, setting him in his seat. "Breakfast, then 'ya can sleep." 

"I'm gonna wake up Sumi." The little boy says, about to get off the chair but immediately halts after his mother speaks up.

"Nah, I know ya honey. Once ya reach yer bed, 't's impossible to get ya up." Atsumu says, seeing right through his son's tactics.

"But—"

"Sumi will come 'ere after she wakes up and brushes her teeth"

The raven whines as his head flops at the table. Atsumu raises a brow in amusement. "Ya do know that I didn't sanitize that yet?"

"Being clean doesn't matter if you're sleepyyyy." Kitsu retorts lazily, voice muffled by the wood.

The setter sighs as he puts the pancakes on top of the table. "What if I tell ya..." He pauses thoughtfully, then a smug smirk appears on his face. "If ya sleep ri' now, ya won't get to greet Papa when he arrives."

Almost instantly, Kitsu's head is off the table, his usually dull amber eyes glowing like sunshine. His gasp of excitement is audible. "Papa's coming?"

Atsumu chuckles weakly, still not feeling well. "Yeah, he's on 'is way."

After not seeing his father for a whole week, all of Kitsu's thoughts related to sleep evanesces, as he starts eating on the pancakes. Atsumu should be happy, but he's actually terrified. It's only been three months yet Kiyoomi has made a significant spot in the twins' life. They're getting attached, and it'll be harder to separate them. He has to do something fast or else—

"Oh pancakes!" A little girl's voice interrupts another visit from anxiety, to which Atsumu is thankful for.

He can only express his gratitude with a genuine and inviting smile. "Mhm, sugarcube. I cooked yer favorite. Join yer brother."

"Mama are you okay? You're red." She says, hesitantly following her brother to the table.

"'m fine. Never been better." Atsumu shrugs the topic off with another smile, not wanting to worry them farther. This time, the curve of his lips is clearly fake as he struggles to put himself together. By each passing second, it gets hotter and hotter.

The three of them share breakfast as the kids occasionally share about their week. How Kitsu had to pick up his tumbler after falling down on mud and how Sumi kept laughing at him and denied him help. He would've been mad at his sister if it wasn't for the fact that she was the one who washed it in the public washing area at their preschool. For a moment there, Atsumu forgets about his heat as he laughs along to the stories of both children, sometimes he would be reminded of when he and Osamu were younger. He thinks it's magical how experiences are being passed down from his generation to theirs. After eating, Atsumu cleans up the table and does the dishes. The kids stick around to do some minor chores like wiping around the furniture that they can reach. The omega finds it endearing and adorable. Even when the two would bicker occasionally, he would suppress a snicker.

But in the middle of wiping the dishes, the drowsiness and heat overwhelms him without warning. It's as if they've neared the sun, it's as if summer hasn't ended yet. Sweat starts to form from his forehead, to his palms. His vision becomes fogged up, as if he really needs glasses like how Osamu jokes. Not to mention, his tanned skin is hidden beneath a layer of red. Half-lidded eyes conflict to stay open as he tries and tries to convince himself that debilitation is still a state of mind.

_Debilitation is a state of mind._

His breathing comes uneven, and it's as if he's not receiving enough oxygen.

_Debilitation is a state of mind._

He can hear the worried voices of the kids, but he can't decipher the words. Everything he hears is a blur, a fuzzy noise that he only hears once he's drifting to sleep. All he's sure of is that those voices are getting more and more panicked.

_Debilitation is a state of mind._

When will Kiyoomi arrive? Oh God, the thought of Kiyoomi only leaves him vulnerable. Beautiful inky curls that reflect the night sky, soft snow-white skin, mesmerising stormy eyes that'll keep him falling into the abyss of his desires, and tantalising expressions that look at him with such lust and hunger, like a predator who found the perfect prey. His kisses from five years are still fresh in his mind as he replays the feeling of the raven's touch.

_Debilitation is a state of mind._

_"Succumb to me, submit to me, Atsumu."_

The alpha's words from five years ago ring in Atsumu's head. The omega closes his eyes and lets out a whimper.  
Debilitation is a state of mind.

"I'm yours, Omi."

He rasps in between rugged breaths as he gives in to debilitation, something that's supposed to be a state of mind. His body meets the kitchen tiles with a thump, and the plate he was holding shatters beside him. Atsumu couldn't care if he got cut by the sharp shards of porcelain. The yells of his children become foreign, and he forgets about them for a moment. All that's in his mind is that he's craving for Kiyoomi. He wants him with him.

His eyes are still closed as he loses his grasp on any remaining consciousness, still breathing heavily on the floor abjectly.

"Mama!" Sumi hurries but is restrained by her brother. She looks back at him with a glare. "Let me go!"

"Don't go, you'll get cut." He says. Anyone would've assumed he was calm, but Sumi has been with him even before they were born to distinguish the worry in his voice.

"But he's bleeding, I hafta' help!" She struggles but Kitsu holds both her hands tighter.

"Listen you idiot!" Kitsu yells. "Mama said it was hot, so if you go to him, you're only sharing your body heat and he'll feel worse!"

Sumi stops and considers this for a while, only to find valid points in what her brother said. She sends a silent question to the gods as to why Kitsu was born with all the brain cells.

Immediately, she tries to find another way to help. Turning to her twin, she yells without wasting time. "Call an ambulance!"

"Do you think I know their number?!" Kitsu yells back just as loudly.

"Then call uncle 'Samu to call an ambulance!"

"Do you think I know his number either?!"

"Then call mama Rin to call uncle' Samu to call an ambulance!" Sumi yells her loudest, due to panic and worry.

Just as Kitsu was about to reply to her idiocy with an equally idiotic and unnecessary retort, a buzzing on the table cuts their drabble. Kitsu hustles up a chair to look at the phone. Apparently, someone is calling. It seems like the gods have heard their pleas of help. Or maybe the gods were just tired of hearing their useless bickering.

"Who is it?" Sumi tiptoes, as she can't reach the table.

"Does it look like I know how to read kanji?" Kitsu barks at her.

"Oh yeah, you can't even read hiragana."

The raven rolls his eyes. "As if you're any better."

"Just hurry and answer it! Mama's still on the floor!"

"I'm getting to it!" Kitsu snarls in between gritted teeth. He swipes the button to the green side and clicks the little speaker. He's seen Atsumu do this a lot of times for him to familiarize it.

"Miya, I'm almost there. Anything I can get the k-"

"Papa!" Both kids shout in unison, the relief in their voices drowns the worry and panic. But it's still there, and Kiyoomi catches it.

"Hi kids, is there anything wrong?" The alpha says amidst the panic of the two. As soon as the question slips, both children hurry to interpret the situation.

"Mama's on the floor!" Kitsu starts.

"And he won't get up!" Sumi continues.

"And he's breathing like crazy!"

"And he's red!"

"And he won't get up!"

"Wait, I already told papa that!"

"Doesn't change the fact that mama's still on the floor!"

"Hold on, you're talking too fast. One by one. Now, what happened?" Kiyoomi tries his best to calm the two down.

"Mama uhh, what's that word again? The one that rhymes with painted?" Kitsu says, uncertain.

"Fainted?"

"Yeah! Mama fainted!" Sumi cuts off any reply that her brother was about to say.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. Just make sure he's still breathing okay?" Kiyoomi says, panic also laces his tone as he accelerates the car into the same speed Osamu drove in a month ago. The one that he promised never to attempt. Before he can end the call though, he hears a thump.

"Waahh! What's happening to you?!" Sumi says, as worried as ever.

"Scent... stronger... Wanna sleep." Kitsu says drowsily, following a yawn. Sumi ends the call as she tries to pick her brother up. "This isn't the time to be sleeping!"

"Everytime is.... sleeping time." Kitsu says softly, slumber overtaking his voice.

Like the responsible older sister she is, she drags her brother to the living room couch and lets him lay there. She runs to their room and comes back with a blanket, covering her sibling with it. The ravenette then unlocks the front door for her father to come. When she returns to the kitchen, she can still see Atsumu in the same position he was earlier, struggling to breath, and blood running down the three cuts he obtained. She panics a bit, but does all she can by carefully picking up the pieces of the broken plate, throwing them in the bin one by one.

Now that she's calmed down a bit, she can see how Kitsu immediately fell asleep. Or smell, rather. The setter's smell is everywhere, and it's overwhelming; a sedative. Especially to her and Kitsu, because they're his children. Although she does feel a bit drowsy, she fights it off and waits for Kiyoomi to arrive.

It takes a few more minutes for the raven to barge into the apartment. When the door slams open, Sumi flinches, the sudden movement resulting in a cut on her finger as she’s still dealing with the broken shards of porcelain. She didn't have time to feel the sharp sting, because before she can even react, the alpha rushes to the kitchen.

As soon as Kiyoomi entered, his nose immediately caught what's going on. Atsumu's scent is everywhere— It's distracting and seductive. Atsumu is on his heat, and it's dangerous to Kiyoomi himself. If he gives in to the debauching scent, he might do something unforgivable again. As his eyes travel to the shards of the plate, and the narrow rivers of blood trailing down Atsumu's bruises, they also meet the ravenette, crouching down and picking up the porcelain. "Sumi! Don't get close!" 

"Too late. Got cut." Sumi turns to look at her father, giggling as she holds her pointer finger up, showing the cut, blood running down her finger.

Kiyoomi loves his daughter, but sometimes he thinks that she has the tendency to be as stupid as Atsumu.

"I'm going to carry your mother to his bedroom. Follow me there, I'll treat your wound after treating him." The alpha sighs as the little girl is quick to oblige. She steps away and climbs up the stool just below the kitchen sink so she can wash her hands. Carefully, Kiyoomi crouches down and hooks his right arm under Atsumu's upper back, his left arm under his knees. It isn't easy to carry more than eighty pounds of weight, but he's a professional athlete. There should be now trouble in that, right? He lifts Atsumu up in a bridal style and carries him to the direction of his room.

When he carefully lays Atsumu down on the bed, the latter's brows furrow as he shifts his position, a sign that he's uncomfortable. Kiyoomi sighs and brings a chair to the bedside, so that he can treat the blond's wounds. Luckily, he spots a first-aid kit, and gets to work. Staying close to Atsumu in his current state is risky. Good thing the mask Kiyoomi's wearing filters out some of the scent. But then again, it isn't enough. Therefore he holds his breath, occasionally exhaling once he needs more air and the process continues.  
It still isn't enough.

_Control._

He needs to keep his inner alpha on a leash. He has to make sure it doesn't take over his common sense.

_Control._

But how can he when Atsumu looks so helpless? So ruined, so pliant, so—

"Papa?" Sumi's head pops into the doorway, doll eyes curiously asking Kiyoomi permission to enter. The alpha nods as the ravenette makes her way to sit on her mother's bed, wound still bleeding but more tolerable. Kiyoomi's grateful for the interference. He then asks, "Why is Kitsu asleep?"

"Mama's scent always makes him sleepy." 

"How about you?"

"Did I say I'm not sleepy?" Sumi asks in the same brazen way as the first time Kiyoomi encountered her and her brother. Where ever could she have gotten that? Well, both Kiyoomi and Atsumu have attitudes that can rival each other so it's actually no surprise. He ignores her sassy remark. "You're good at concealing it."

"Mama's good at that too. He says and acts like he's fine, but really he's not." Sumi pouts.

The little girl has a point. Where's the lie? Atsumu is stubborn and insistent in being the best, even if his condition and health is far from the best. This attitude is not new, it dates back to high school when he kept pushing himself to practice a serve despite his exhaustion. The addiction to overexerting only grew worse from there.

KIyoomi finishes up with Atsumu and turns to their daughter. "Sweetheart, I'm going to treat your wound now. Here's my phone."

"What for?"

"Call your uncle Osamu so he can take care of your mother." The alpha hands over the phone, with Osamu's number already being contacted. Sumi accepts it on her unwounded hand and brings it closer to her ear. When Osamu picks up, Kiyoomi cleans her cut by gently dabbing a sterile piece of cloth and applies betadine afterwards. He finishes up by wrapping the cut in a Band-Aid and pressing a kiss at her finger. The little girl giggles in between her conversation with her uncle.

Once the call ends, the wound is now treated and the ravenette returns the phone to her father. "Uncle Samsam's on his way. He told me to pack clothes for three days."

Kiyoomi nods, understanding that the twins will be coming home with him to Tokyo while Osamu takes care of his brother. He tucks Atsumu in properly before following his daughter to help her pack up for her and her brother. From time to time, he checks on Atsumu and he transfers Kitsu to their bedroom. When he and Sumi finish, they agree to kill time by doing puzzles. After more than four hours, the doorbell rings indicating Osamu's arrival.

"Finally, you're here." Kiyoomi looks at Osamu in relief. He doesn't know what might happen if he continues to linger longer in the intoxicating penumbra of pheromones created by the omega. He hoists up both backpacks of the twins. "We're going now, thank—"

"No, Sakusa-san." Osamu sighs and hesitates shortly afterwards, as if he didn't want to say the next thing that'll come out of his mouth. "I can't stay here. The shop's too busy for me to take a leave. I'm going to have to bring the twins home with me. "

And even more falteringly, he adds, "You should stay with Atsumu first." 

Kiyoomi blinks in disbelief. He must be joking; this must be some kind of secretive test if Kiyoomi will take the bait or not. There is completely nothing in between him and Atsumu— the mental contract of sex friends is gone, it expired five years ago. Because of this, unless the alpha has proper permission from the omega, he can't assist him in heat. 

And by proper permission, Kiyoomi means one where Atsumu's mind isn't clouded by lust. Just like getting drunk, even if a person seduces a sober one while they're high on alcohol, it's already considered that the sober person took advantage of them, because the drunk person didn't have the proper consciousness to give actual permission— if that even made sense.

The spiker is quick to retort. He almost gave in earlier. It'll be harder for him to control the next time he enters the room. "You know what can happen—"

"Exactly. Which is why, just for now I'll allow you to. As long as you don't get him pregnant, it's fine." The other alpha says, unsure and hesitant. Kiyoomi also doesn't miss the guilt in his eyes, and the gulp that accompanied his vocalization of permission. It's clear that he doesn't want to decide this for his brother but there really isn't any other choice. 

"I told you—"

"Papa, please help mama." Kitsu approaches them as he stifles a yawn. He was abruptly woken up by his sister as they need to leave now.

_How can Kiyoomi ever say no to his children?_

He sighs as he tousles the little boy's hair. "Alright. Behave with your uncle, okay?"

"We will, papa!" Sumi responds as she carries her backpack. 

And with that, Kiyoomi is once again left with Atsumu.

When he returns to the omega's room, he slowly opens the door to find Atsumu buried in coalescence of different blankets, pillows and articles of clothing. This is nothing unusual to Kiyoomi, it's just the usual nesting of an omega. This helps them cope with their heats much better. Back then, he would arrive at Atsumu's apartment with the same setting. 

A mop of bleached hair pop up from the makeshift nest as the setter's amber eyes shine with lust. His breathing is rugged, and he's redder than before.

"Alpha." Atsumu trails each syllable in a deep, needy voice— a clear indication that he's waiting for the alpha to approach him.

Kiyoomi doesn't respond. He's too overwhelmed with the scent diffusing around the room. He can't bring himself to approach the blond, nor can he bring himself to exit the room. He's stuck in a limbo, unable to decide whether he should advance to hell; the sin of giving in to lust, or if he should return to heaven; the rightful decision of abstinence. 

_Control._  
He needs every semblance of control he has. He's had his rut this month, but it's not impossible for it to return. It's overwhelming really— Atsumu's scent is calling out to him like an aphrodisiac. If he doesn't concentrate in gathering control, he might instictively have his way with the omega then and there.

"A-alpha, Saku— Omi, please." The omega pleads, needier than before.

"No, you're not thinking straight. I can't." Kiyoomi rushes the reply. What happened to the decent alpha he was forced to grow up into? He has to keep that in him especially in times like this.

_Control._

"Alpha, it hurts." Atsumu sobs.

"I know, but I can't help you."

_Control._

As if he lost his patience, Atsumu makes the move to approach the Kiyoomi. If the alpha won't come to the omega, then the omega needs to make the effort. Although it seems like he could collapse any moment, the setter continues to reach out. The alpha in question is still stuck. His mind is telling him to say no— to return to heaven. But Atsumu looks so helpless and his body's screaming hell yes. His eyes travel to the wet patch of slick on the blond's shorts. He diverts his gaze immediately, shaking his head. 

_Control._

The scent becomes greater within every step Atsumu takes towards him, and he feels more and more intoxicated.

It feels as if Kiyoomi's the prey.

_'Doesn't he look appetizing?' A voice in his head whispers._

_'No.' Kiyoomi counters back with all restraint._

_**Control.** _

Now that Atsumu is in front of him, he immediately throws his hands on the taller, only for his wrists to be restrained by much stronger hands.

"Wha— why?!" He yells in frustration and most notably, desperation.

"You're going to regret this, Atsumu." Kiyoomi tries his best to maintain his composure, but deep inside, he's crumbling— falling apart and moments away from pinning the omega at the bed, at the wall, basically anywhere. His hands are trembling a bit but he prioritizes his control over the situation. 

Unexpectedly, Atsumu surrenders as he slowly retreats his hands and bows his head, looking away. Kiyoomi's eyes widen when he sees fresh tears drop to the wooden floorboard underneath.

"Do... Do ya not want me? Is that it?" Atsumu stifles a sob.

Kiyoomi is quick to deny. "No! It's not like th—"

"Is that why you left me? Because I could never be what you wanted?" The omega looks up and reveals those usually sunny eyes— No more sun, and any trace of lust is replaced with insecurity and dejection.

During heat, if an omega is not consumed by lust, they're drowning in melancholy and despondency.

When he is met by no response, Atsumu continues to sob. "Ya surely don't want me. Am I really not worth loving?"

"No. No no no." Kiyoomi repeats as he cups the older's face. He looks at him straight in the eye. "You're worthy of it, you deserve all the love in the world."

"Then why?"

Kiyoomi looks away, collecting words to form an answer.

He couldn't find any.

While he searches in the depths of his confused mind, he feels a weight fall onto him. His eyes meet the unconscious body of the blond, the only thing keeping him up is Kiyoomi's arms around him. Atsumu collapsed again. The scent diminishes but it's still there.

"Why bother to get up when you're just going to faint again?" Kiyoomi whispers softly as he once again lifts the omega and gently settles him on the bed.

\---

Atsumu wakes up to the soft clink of utensils together. He slowly opens his eyes, and follows the source of the sound; turning his head to the left, he finds Kiyoomi setting down a tray on his bedside, the smell of soup accompanying his very own scent.

"Just in time, eat lunch." The raven greets.

Atsumu pouts and sulks, turning to face the other side. Kiyoomi would've thought it was cute, but now he's thinking of a way to convince the stubborn setter to eat.

"Eat."

"Don't wanna."

"Why are you sulking?"

"I'll sulk all day."

"Is that what you're planning to do?"

"Yes."

Kiyoomi sighs. It won't be long till Atsumu will be hit by another intense wave of heat, hence he'll be begging to be fucked again. Sulking all day is something he can't do in his situation.

"Sumi and Kitsu won't be happy to know that you aren't eating."

It seemed to do the trick, because Atsumu sits up and with a childish glare, he surrenders. "Fine."

After eating, Kiyoomi offers two pills which Atsumu recognizes as suppressors. "Take this."

"No."

"Please?"

"No." Atsumu's traumatized by overdosing. As much as possible, he abstains himself from doing so. He returns to sulking as he turns away from the alpha.

The younger groans in frustration. He should've known better than to assume that Atsumu's childishness grew out of him over time. After a short while, the omega feels the cold metal of a phone press on his cheeks. Before his confusion can act, he hears a familiar voice.

"Tsumu."

"Samu." He hurriedly sits up, bumping into the phone as Kiyoomi apologizes sheepishly.

"Take the pills." Osamu commands with all intent on the other line.

The omega can only bury his face in his hands due to frustration. "Samuuu, don't wanna overdose again." He whines.

"Ya won't. I talked to your doctor. Only two pills for your heat for the whole three months." The alpha reassures.

Atsumu squints his eyes on the screen, as if he was talking to Osamu in person. "How can I be sure that ya ain't bluffin'?"

"Take it or I'm not returning the twins to ya."

"Okay, okay!" The setter pouts. "I don't wanna talk to ya."

The call ended once Atsumu swallowed the pills. Kiyoomi hands him a glass of water. "Finish it."

Atsumu eyes the glass in disbelief. "That's too much!"

"You don't want to die of dehydration, do you?"

The shorter gives in and not long after, the desire to drown in the ocean slumber gets stronger and stronger. Eventually, he falls asleep. Kiyoomi enjoys the silence in the room. The scent is still there, but it's manageable thanks to the suppressor. Albeit there's no assurance that another wave of heat will be prevented. As he listens to Atsumu's soft snores, his phone buzzes.

[Four couples and a single bitch]

Kuroo Tetsurou: so i was summoned to tokyo for work

Kuroo Tetsurou: and i saw kitsu and sumi here

Kuroo Tetsurou: i approached them and asked where sakusa was

Kuroo Tetsurou: and unexpectedly, sakusa is at sendai

Kuroo Tetsurou: atsumu isnt at tokyo either

Kuroo Tetsurou: @penguin🐧 explain

Me: when did the gc name change?

Kuroo Tetsurou: DONT CHANGE THE TOPIC

Koko: we changed it when u were inactive because lev and mori are here, so that's another couple

Baka: the unsugar-coated reason is because we want u to feel more miserable

Jiji🦉: is unsugar-coated even a word?

Baka: no

Baka: but it makes sense

Moonsalt🌙: who said u can invent words?

Baka: no one

Baka: but it makes sense to do so

Moonsalt🌙: shut up. u r the most nonsensical idiot ever

Baka: that doesn't make sense now does it

Kuroo Tetsurou: anyways, back to the matter

Haiba Morisuke: now that kuroo mentioned it,

Haiba Morisuke: what are u doing in sendai, sakusa?

Me: osamu thought it would be a good idea to take care of atsumu

Me: while in heat

Koko: OH

Haiba Lev: 👁️👄👁️

Kuroo Tetsurou: youre joking

Jiji🦉: seems unlikely of osamu-san to do so

Jiji🦉: did u use protection?

Me: what?

Kuroo Tetsurou: for godsake, dont tell me u made the same mistake twice

Koko: OMI!! U DONT NEED TO BE FLUSTERED

Me: im not??

Baka: i bet 5000 yen that sakusa-san immediately railed atsumu-san, without protection

Jiji🦉: no, sakusa-san isnt dumb enough to do that

Jiji🦉: im sure he has even just a bit of self control when it comes to atsumu-san

Me: i cannot comprehend whether if that was an insult of a compliment

Koko: im with keiji!!! i bet 5500 yen that he did!!

Baka: i raise

Baka: my bet is now 6000 yen

Kuroo Tetsurou: this isnt a gamble

Haiba Lev: kakegurui

Haiba Morisuke: betting is considered a gamble

Haiba Morisuke: looks like all your intelligence yeeted jtself on the science department. Ur totally stupid for non scientific shit

Kuroo Tetsurou: you didnt have to stoop that low yaku

Koko: i raise!! 10000 yen!!!

Boke: am i late?

Boke: i fold, im broke :'((

Kuroo Tetsurou: well, since this is a gamble

Kuroo Tetsurou: i call

Haiba Lev: raise

Haiba Lev: 12000

Haiba Morisuke: call

Moonsalt🌙: fold

Moonsalt🌙: because we arent playing poker u dumbfucks

Baka: but u played along???

Moonsalt🌙: i—

Moonsalt🌙: i love kakegurui...

Kuroo Tetsurou: so u agree to be the mary of my ririka 🥺👉👈

Moonsalt🌙: we're married u piece of shit

Jiji🦉: fold

Jiji🦉: i ship mary with yumeko tho

Baka: weakshits

Baka: mary harem supremacy

Boke: ^ this is why i married tobio

Koko: ^^

Koko: MARY HAREM SUPREMACY

Haiba Morisuke: wait are we really betting?

Kuroo Tetsurou: yes

Jiji🦉: no

Koko: macaroni in a pot

Haiba Morisuke: im assuming that's a yes?

Koko: ...

Koko: yes

Baka: well then if we're really betting then id want to change

Kuroo Tetsurou: sure tobio

Baka: i changed my mind

Baka: i bet 15000 yen that sakusa didnt touch atsumu-san sexually

Haiba Lev: youre wasting 15000 yen, tobio

Baka: i know

Baka: that's why shou's gonna pay for it

Boke: WHAT?!

Boke: DID YOU EVEN READ MY MESSAGE EARLIER?

Boke: I FOLDED BECAUSE I WAS BROKE

Baka: then make kenma pay for it

Boke: £&::'%£3£!*

Haiba Lev: so 15000 yen?

Koko: CALL!!

Haiba Lev: i call as well

Haiba Morisuke: fold

Haiba Morisuke: i feel like im betting the wrong bet

Kuroo Tetsurou: heh coward

Kuroo Tetsurou: call

Me: youre really gonna bet 15000 yen whether i used protection or not?

Kuroo Tetsurou: whats the problem omi?

Kuroo Tetsurou: embarrassed about it?

Me: i pity ur wallets

Kuroo Tetsurou: why?

Me: wait what are u even betting for?

Kuroo Tetsurou: that u didnt use any

Jiji🦉: lev?

Haiba Lev: oh i forgot

Haiba Lev: that sakusa-san did

Me: your poor wallets...

Me: literally poor...

Koko: spit it out omi!!

Me: i

Me: i didnt

Koko: WHAT?!

Haiba Lev: goodbye 15000 😢

Kuroo Tetsurou: my bank account is getting real fed today 😎

Me: because i didnt do it with him

Kuroo Tetsurou: did i read that right?

Koko: IMPOSSIBLE

Baka: YES

Baka: PAY UP MOTHERFUCKERS

Baka: IM FUCKING RICH

Moonsalt🌙: huh, looks like the king is not that nonsensical as i thought

Baka: thank you 🥰

Baka: i still hate u tho, u french fry

Moonsalt🌙: BITCH

Kuroo Tetsurou: IMPOSSIBLE

Kuroo Tetsurou: THERE'S NO WAY I'D LOSE TO A BLUEBERRY

Baka: perché non la smetti di essere un'acida perdente e chiudi quella cazzo di bocca

Kuroo Tetsurou: we're japanese, stop speaking in french

Haiba Lev: thats italian???

Moonsalt🌙: ohmygod this is so embarrassing

Moonsalt🌙: im filing a divorce

Moonsalt🌙: u arent my husband anymore

Haiba Lev: but, i dont have to pay, right tobio? hehe

Haiba Lev: our sisters are dating anyways, that means we're futrre brothers in law, right? 👉👈

Baka: lev, ur sweet and innocent

Baka: but fuck no, give me the 15000

Jiji🦉: anyways, how did u manage sakusa-san?

Me: self control

Moonsalt🌙: for the whole day? i dont believe it

Me: no, not for the whole day

Me: atsumu took suppressors, so the scent calmed down

Me: and i gave him sleeping pills. he wont wake up until another wave of heat hits him

Jiji🦉: and what then?

Me: the suppressors will tone it down a bit

Me: ill be able to keep it in my pants

Kuroo Tetsurou: oh really huh?

Moonsalt🌙: dont be a sore loser, ur embarrassing us even more

Kuroo Tetsurou: but going back to sleeping pills

Kuroo Tetsurou: are u sure the pills have no serious side effects?

Me: i gave him benzodiazepine, side effects are minimal if not taken regularly

Boke: how do u know that

Me: i graduated from public health, dumbass

Jiji🦉: makes sense actually

Moonsalt🌙: how did u manage do get atsumu to take it then?

Me: i slid it in his glass of water

Moonsalt🌙: he's gonna get angry if he finds out

Me: there's a valid reason behind it anyways, so it makes sense to do so

Me: right tobio?

Baka: precisely

Moonsalt🌙: i—

Moonsalt🌙: i cant fucking handle u all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you found a hamilton reference in this chapter, no u did not (ﾒ￣▽￣)︻┳═一
> 
> oh and u thought i was gonna write smut?? must i remind u of how old i am? lol
> 
> fun fact! kakegurui is my all time favorite anime (not that anyone cares tho)
> 
> neways, dont hesitate to ask me a question, my cc is pinned on my twitter (@one_two_thlee)
> 
> thanks for reading!! see u next week! (probably)


	20. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoomi never expected a sudden family reunion, even with five years of closed communication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating early because im so fucking relieved. i finished all my schoolworks that were impossible to finish. finally i can write haha!! anyways, classes start at january 11, with the possibility of it being face to face, so i only have a few weeks to try and glow-up (*≧∀≦*)

Kiyoomi spends two more days with Atsumu, and not one was easy. He had to sneak pills in his glasses of water at least three times for the whole heat this month. Whenever a wave would approach the omega, he would hurriedly go out of the apartment and talk a casual stroll around, waiting for it to subside. He did his best to not touch Atsumu intimately but at the same time, make him the most comfortable. He needn't bring another problem to the blond.

While Kiyoomi is cooking lunch on the second day, his phone rings.

"YOU TRAITOR!" Motoya yells into the phone as soon as his cousin picks up.

"Finally." Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. "You found out that the reason your ex-girlfriend broke up with you was not because 'you deserve better', but rather she was cheating on you. But you called the wrong number. Kind of makes sense because our contacts are next to each other considering that her name starts with K."

"W-what?" The libero starts with an amorphous voice.

"Wait. Don't tell me that isn't why you called?" The alpha tenses, feeling sweat roll down his face. "I thought you found out..."

"I—I..." Motoya starts. "I'll call you back. But we're not finished."

"I don't really know what's that urgent for you to call me but o—"

The brunet abruptly ends the call before Kiyoomi can finish. The latter feels guilty that he hurt his cousin with the truth he tried to hide. Looks like the mentioned girl won't know what's coming.

\---

True to his word, Motoya did call back the night after— and in the worst timing possible. As soon as Kiyoomi tucked Atsumu in, making sure that the latter is as comfortable as he can be in his nest, the alpha goes to the guest room to call it a day. As his head drowns in the fluffy material of the pillow, and his eyes flutter shut, a startling noise coming from his phone cuts his trance. He sighs despicably as he reaches the bedside table.

"What is it?" He bites as he answers the call.

"I told you we aren't finished!" Motoya says sternly.

Kiyoomi raises a brow. "So that 'you traitor' was meant for me?"

"Duh."

"How's your ex?"

"Stop changing the topic!" Motoya snarls but sighs anyways. "I confronted her. She confessed to the cheating. She replaced me with a swimmer."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Kiyoomi sympathizes. And because he's an asshole, he adds, "It looks like she has a thing for professional athletes though."

"Tch. She doesn't matter anyways." Motoya scowls acerbically. "But you Kiyo, you have some explaining to do."

"What?"

"How dare you hide them from me!"

"Who?" Kiyoomi asks, genuinely confused as he tries to guess the context of the situation.

"Did you hear that, kids? Your papa's acting dumb." Motoya asks and then the spiker finally gets it.

"That's papa?" Kiyoomi hears Kitsu from the other side of the line.

"Papa! How's mama?" Sumi asks.

"Hi kids, he's fine. But what are you doing with Motoya?" 

"Mama Rin's having a sleep over with him! Even Ruru is here!" The ravenette replies enthusiastically.

"I knew they were yours!" The libero speaks up. "From that very day you had a match with us and they came to watch."

"Well congrats, Sherlock." Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. "Kids what do you think of your uncle?"

"He's fun! His eyebrows are weird but unique!" Says Sumi.

"He's annoying. But in a good way." Kitsu deadpans. "Unlike Sumi who's annoying in every bad way."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" Motoya asks.

"Mean Kitsu!" Sumi counters.

Kiyoomi laughs. Kitsu is the only one who can offend two different people at the same time with his straightforwardness — a trait he got from Kiyoomi himself.

Motoya points it out. "See, he acts like you! He really is your child."

"Did I say he isn't? You can stop playing Sherlock now."

"And Sumi is more of a Miya, which I learned just today that Atsumu's the real mother. Not Rin." The brunet continues and soon, a smirk laces his voice. "So I heard that you're helping him with his heat?"

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes for the nth time during the call "It's not what you think—"

"Kids! You might be getting a sibling!" Motoya announces enthusiastically.

"Motoya what the f—"

"Profanity, Kiyo."

"Really! I hope it's a girl!" Sumi beams.

"It's a boy. Surely a boy." Kitsu counters.

"Kids, look—"

"Kiyo don't kill their fun!" Motoya scolds.

Ugh. Why bother. Kiyoomi thinks but his expression is ambivalent as a fond smile rests on his usually stoic face.

\---

The next morning, Atsumu jolts up, feeling energized and better than ever. Huh, his heat must be over. Maybe Osamu was right, taking minimal suppressors is actually beneficial. The sun greets him with a warm shine as he stretches, already in a good mood. He doesn't remember much except for someone taking care of him, which he assumes to be Osamu. The thought of his twin in his kitchen excites him, because every time Atsumu's heat finishes, the alpha would spoil him with a feast.

Immediately he exits his room, his scent barely there. The familiar scent of breakfast is there though as he scurries his way into the kitchen, following the imaginary trail. 

Well, there was an alpha in his kitchen, but it wasn't Osamu.

Confusion dances around his head as he sees Kiyoomi sitting on the table, breakfast for two in front of him as he cheerily talks to the phone. It looks like he's facetiming someone.

Atsumu must be intruding on a video call date with the alpha's secret lover, and because he knows better than to eavesdrop, he starts to walk away with a 'tch'. It looks like he forgot his questions as to why Kiyoomi was in his apartment during his heat.

"I see mama!" A familiar voice says from the call and Atsumu halts. Kiyoomi looks behind him and gestures for the setter to come. Now that he's caught, Atsumu has no choice but to follow.

"Kids?" He asks upon sitting beside the alpha, his face in view.

"Good morning mama, are you okay now?" Kitsu asks.

Atsumu blinks. He almost laughs at himself for thinking that Kiyoomi would have a secret lover— well that is possible, but to call them in Atsumu's apartment? Wait— why is Kiyoomi even in his apartment?

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. How about ya?" 

"We're having a sleepover with uncle Toya! Mama Rin and Ruru are here too!" Sumi explains, ever so enthusiastic.

"Oh, that must be fun. Are ya havin' fun sugarcube?" Atsumu smiles.

"Yeah! I wonder why papa never told us about uncle Toya! He's fun!" 

Soon, another face creeps into view. "Hi Atsumu-san!"

"Motoya-kun!" The blond beams. "Were they a handful?"

"Hmm, they fight a lot, but they're very friendly — well Sumi that is. Kitsu is just like Kiyo, so he's easy to pamper." Motoya chuckles. "Atsu-san, you wouldn't mind if I steal your children right?" The libero jokes as he engulfs both twins into a big hug.

"You'll hafta' get through yer cousin first Moto-kun." 

"Don't even think about it Toya." Kiyoomi speaks up.

"Geez, you're no fun Kiyo." The libero pouts but laughs afterwards. It's hard for Atsumu to think that he and Kiyoomi are even related. "But anyways, Rin and Rumiko just finished preparing breakfast, so we'll have to eat now. Take care of Atsumu, Kiyo. Kids say bye."

They exchanged greetings as the call ended. Kiyoomi turns to Atsumu, an expecting silence, keeping them miles away. Clearly, both of them have something to say but they still hesitate.

Kiyoomi decided to take initiative. "Breakfast is—"

"Why are ya in my apartment?" Atsumu cuts off the younger with a demand for an answer.

The alpha sighs. "I took care of you—"

Atsumu squints his eyes. "Wait, don't tell me—"

"It's exactly how it is."

The blond's face reddens at the realization. "D-d-did we?!"

"No, no we didn't. Calm down." Kiyoomi explains in a manner opposing the rising panic of the older. "I gave you suppressors, remember?"

"That wasn't 'Samu?"

"Osamu-san was busy."

Oh. 

"Did you remember anything from your heat?" Kiyoomi asks straightforwardly, taking a sip on his tea.

Atsumu puckers his lips in thought and with a furrow of brows, he shakes his head. "Nah. Y'know heats are just like bein' drunk. Except it's very painful; painful to the extent where you'd be desp'rate to numb the pain so you'd do anythin'."

Ah. That must explain why Atsumu is so carefree and unembarrassed towards him as if nothing has happened. It could be that or he's just pretending again, wearing a mask that feigns denial of what happened.

Upon further analyzing the alpha's question, the setter jolts up. "Wait! Did I say somethin' weird?"

Kiyoomi leisurely takes another sip, as if he has all the time in the world to answer that question. He closes his eyes and leans back on his chair.

_"Do... Do ya not want me? Is that it?"_

_"Is that why you left me? Because I could never be what you wanted?"_

_"You surely don't want me. Am I really not worth loving?"_

_"Then why?"_

"No." Kiyoomi flawlessly opens his eyes just like how he flawlessly utters the lie. "You didn't."

\---

A week after Kiyoomi left Sendai, both parents set an arrangement. Atsumu will bring the kids to Tokyo while he works and then come afternoon, he'll drop them by at Kiyoomi's apartment where they'll stay the night. It’s a quarter to four when Kiyoomi leaves the gym after their afternoon practice, he walks slowly, paying no attention to where he was walking as he scrolls through his social media, eyes trained on the radiation of the mobile device in his palm. It isn’t until he hears his name being called.

"KIyo!" A tender, honey-sweet voice rings through his ears to which the raven immediately recognizes.

He whips his head towards the direction of the sound and his eyes catch a glimpse of a brunette with prepossessing eyes of green that'll fool one into spring even when it's the middle of a cold winter. She has a tall figure and her body can rival those of Victoria's Secret models. It's not an exaggeration — she's a very pretty girl.

"Kiyo." She repeats softly.

Oh fuck. 

Kiyoomi can only think that he's fucked.

\---

"So, when are you planning to go home?"

"Does it look like I want to go home?"

The alpha is currently seated across the brunette. They decided to catch up with each other in a nearby cafe. Well, the girl that is— Kiyoomi didn't want to sit down and talk to her.

A lover you ask? No. The brunette is Sakusa Chiyoko, the eldest child and only daughter of the Sakusas. It's been a while since they've seen each other personally, with Kiyoomi always avoiding his family.

"Kiyo." Chiyoko sighs, apple green eyes pleading. "You haven't been home for years."

"I said, does it look like I want to go home?" Kiyoomi repeats threateningly.

Kiyoomi's sure that his parents never really cared about him. Only his two older siblings. Chiyoko— the eldest, because she is to inherit the family business, and his older brother, because he married a wealthy businessman in London who helped them build connections outside the whole continent of Asia. The raven never wanted anything to do with wealth. He never asked to be born into this prodigious family.

Kiyoomi hasn't accomplished something, which is quite ironic. Especially since he's the only one who'll be passing down the Sakusa family name; his older brother is an omega. Because of Kiyoomi's decision, their parents chose for Chiyoko's surname to remain Sakusa even as she's married. When Kiyoomi was 23, and he still had no mate, his parents became very frustrated with him. Their frustration made something in Kiyoomi snap, and so he yelled back, voicing his own frustrations; how they raised him to be so inconsiderate of others, how they raised him to be less and less human, and how they implanted their dirty tricks of deceit and amorality on him. Not long after, he left his home, never even sparing a glance to both his horrified parents. It's been over five years since then, and he still hasn't talked to his parents. The anger he felt is still fresh in his mind.

Chiyoko looks at her younger brother. She knows that it wasn't easy to turn back on their parents like that. She knows that Kiyoomi yearned for a simple life, one where he's allowed to care about others, one where he wasn't devoured by a never-ending tide of affluenza. She sighs once more. "Look, if they're still mad that you don't have a family then—"

"I found papa. I win." Says the voice of a younger boy.

"Hey, no fair! You came in here first!"

"Doesn't change the fact that I win."

Once the voices of the two little children were heard, Chiyoko spotted a genuine smile forming on Kiyoomi's face before he turned to find the kids.

She can't express the shock she felt upon seeing two preschoolers run towards her brother, giving him a hug. All she knows is that; 1) Kiyoomi hates children. Not necessarily all, but the noisy ones. And by first glance at these two kids, she can already tell how noisy they are. 2) He wouldn't hug a stranger. Hell, he wouldn't even hug his own parents. Chiyoko and their other brother are considered lucky enough to be able to receive the spiker's rare hugs. 3) Why does Kiyoomi look so happy? She's never seen him this carefree and unbothered before. 

"Hey, why'd ya text me to come immed— Oh."

Chiyoko's eyes meet the autumn ones of a blond. Her breath hitches — he's very handsome. The blond stares back at her with confusion stained in his face.

Atsumu knew it. Without properly reading the context, he assumes that Kiyoomi is having a date with this 'secret lover' he speculated a week before. Maybe he wanted to show off the kids to her for a good impression. Well, there's nothing Atsumu can do so he shrugs. The kids will stay with him anyways. The bastard feels smug.

"Am I intrudin' somethin'? Should I leave the twins with ya n' go?" Atsumu asks, pointing to the exit. Kiyoomi pulls away from the hug and looks from his sister to the omega and vice versa. "No. It's alright. You deserve to meet the aunt of your children."

Chiyoko blinks. "The what?—"

At the same time, Atsumu is confused. "Aunt—?"

"Papa, who's that pretty girl?" Asks the little girl who Chiyoko observes to have the same eyes as the blond, but her hair is clearly Kiyoomi's. It's being tied into a ponytail, as black curls fall like a waterfall.

"Oh. That's my sister."

"You have a sibling papa?" The little boy asks this time. Chiyoko observes that he has the same eyes as the blond and his sister, his hair is wavy and not that curly compared to the little girl's.

"I have two, actually." Kiyoomi answers so gently, that it shocks the brunette. "Why don't you sit next to me, I'll introduce you."

Both children sit beside Kiyoomi. Atsumu stands there awkwardly, not wanting to intrude on a family reunion. Now that the alpha mentioned it, the girl in front of them looks very much like him. Her eyes and hair have a different color from Kiyoomi's, but the facial structure and expressions are literal carbon copies, except her expressions are more animated and lively. Not to mention, the way their hair curl is similar. He should've thought better than to assume that she is Kiyoomi's lover. 

"What's your name?" The girl asks him and Atsumu's heart almost stops.

"Miya... Atsumu." He responds, cursing himself for the uncertainty that blended unto his words.

"Miya?" She raises a brow. "Not Sakusa?"

"If I was getting married then you would've been invited. I'm not that cruel, you know." Kiyoomi deadpans.

"But you're cruel enough to not marry this handsome omega over here." His sister scolds before turning back to the setter. "How long?"

"Excuse me?"

"Have you been dating?"

Atsumu doesn't know how to respond to that. After a few moments of pausing in thought, he decides to end the anticipation of the brunette. His abrupt lie might startle Kiyoomi and if you ask him, no— Atsumu isn't ready for a fake-dating scheme. He has better things to tend to such as his papers needed to immigrate overseas. He might be good at lies, but maybe it's time to settle for the truth. 

"We're nothin' like that."

"Oh." She manages to conceal her shock and hides it with a sweet smile. "So do you have a boyfriend, Miya-san?"

"A pursuer only, I guess?" Atsumu says as Kiyoomi flinches in discomfort. It makes Atsumu wonder what triggered that reaction but he focuses on entertaining the brunette's question. "But relationships are not my priority."

"Ah. I see."

"I might come off rude but yer...?"

"Oh, apologies. I'm the eldest child of the Sakusas, Sakusa Chiyoko."

"Nice to meet you, Chiyoko-san." Atsumu bows, showing his respect. "This is yer first time meeting Sumi and Kitsu, right?"

"Ah, these angels here?"

Atsumu smiles. Seems like she's starting to like the children he gave Kiyoomi. "Yup. I hope they behave well. I'm leavin' them with Sakusa-san for the weekend."

"Mama... Are you saying we aren't?" Sumi whines.

The omega decides to play with their childish antics. "Yes. You two are the naughtiest." He pouts playfully as the little girl giggles and her brother cracks a small smile. "Anyways, I need to get goin'. 'Samu needs me. Sakusa-san, call me if they need anythin’, kay?"

Kiyoomi nods. "Stay safe."

When Atsumu leaves, Chiyoko's sweet smile fades as she turns to her younger brother with a stern look embroidering her porcelain-like face, clearly she's in search of answers.

"Can we— can we just—"

"Leave the topic for later? No."

Kiyoomi groans in frustration as his eyes travel to both children beside him and back to Chiyoko. The latter then gets the gesture. He doesn't want to talk about it now because the kids will definitely hear the conversation and this whole affair is certainly nothing that mere five year-olds should be exposed to.

"Fine, but you're explaining it to me one way or another." Chiyoko says, brows furrowed strictly.

"Just, don't tell father. Nor mother." The spiker pleads.

"Why wouldn't your mom want to meet us?" Kitsu asks innocently.

"Uh... " Kiyoomi looks at his sister, a signal that she recognizes as a plea for help. Chiyoko clears her throat. "It might come as a sudden for them, it's better not to disturb them with this sudden revelation as they're very busy as of the moment." She finishes with a smile and without sparing a second, changes the topic. "Uh, Kitsu wasn't it? Why don't you come to me?"

"Are you-"

"She's clean honey. She is my sister after all." Kiyoomi cuts him off. Albeit hesitant, the little boy follows as he transfers to the other side of the table. As soon as he sits, he feels himself getting suffocated by a tight hug. 

"Aww! You're so small! Reminds me when my kids were your age!" Chiyoko hugs tighter. 

"Auntie let go!" The little boy squirms, obviously annoyed.

"No." She smiles. "You even have Kiyo's temper! So cute!"

"What part of my temper is 'cute'?" 

"Papa..." Sumi whispers to her father beside her. "Will Kitsu be alright?"

The spiker shrugs. "He'll get used to neesan's hugs. I've been through that a thousand times to reassure you that."

Neesan in question, loosens the hug and turns to the other twin. "Hi sweetie, how about you?"

"Uh, I'm fine here." 

"You're very pretty! There's no girl in the family with curly black hair so that makes you the first!" Chiyoko compliments enthusiastically. And to Kitsu's dismay, even when her attention is at his twin, she still won't let him go.

"Really?" Sumi beams.

"Yeah. You want something to eat?" The brunette offers.

"Nah. We ate at uncle Samu's already." Kitsu says with all annoyance, still locked in his aunt's arms.

"Their mother's twin is the owner of Onigiri Miya." Kiyoomi enlightens.

"Hmm, I knew his last name sounds familiar." She bites the inside of her cheek in thought. If her eyes widen in the realization of something, it doesn't stay long. Soon after, she turns to both kids. "All right! Shall we go home then?"

"We?" Kiyoomi looks at her in incredulity. "You're comi-?"

"Great, it's settled! I can't wait to get to know you both." Chiyoko directs her greeting to the children as her brother sighs insufferably.

\---

"Your apartment is the same as ever." Chiyoko expresses her dislike for the bland interior of a million-dollar flat. 

"Too much decoration makes it look too much— too messy. It hurts my head." Kiyoomi retorts as he allocates his shoes at the genkan. 

"Papa what if I scatter glitter around! Won't you like it?" Sumi asks.

"Oh, now that is a decoration I will love." The raven smiles almost instantly.

Chiyoko looks at Kiyoomi with all skepticism. She's never seen her brother this soft, it's almost as if he hit his head and suddenly gained the mindset of a saint. She surveys how much his lips curve as the ravenette tells stories of her playdate with her cousin.

Kitsu seems to notice the look of disbelief in his aunt's face, so he clarifies things. "You'll get used to my sister's stupidity. She's actually stupider than that."

They enter the living room and make themselves comfortable. Immediately, Chiyoko approaches the children and makes an effort to talk to them. They spend the whole afternoon like that, the brunette learning more about her newly introduced niece and nephew.

When her phone rings, she excuses herself. Kiyoomi spots her waving at the phone. Taking a curious peek, he asks. "Neesan. Who?"

"Kiyo! It's Kirin!"

Oh. Kiyoomi's definitely not ready for a reunion with a second family member. Chiyoko however, thinks the opposite. And since he can't disobey his older sister, he hesitantly sits beside her and shyly waves to the camera.

Kirin, the second child; born before Kiyoomi and after Chiyoko, has the secondary gender that opposes the ones of his two siblings; an omega. He married into a wealthy alpha who tycoons in London. You can say that Kirin is living the ultimate boy's love manhwa life— in love and happily wed to an insanely hot and caring man.

Seems like all Kiyoomi's luck in love was sucked out of him by his older brother. 

"Kiyoomi! Long time no see!" Says a cheery raven with green eyes and a mole resting under his left eye. Unlike his siblings, his hair is oddly straight as thin bangs cascade down his forehead. There he is, Sakusa Kirin— well, not really a Sakusa because he's married.

"Nii-chan." Kiyoomi gulps, not knowing how to confront his older brother yet. "How are you?"

"I'm living the life Kiyo! You should visit London one day, it's beautiful here!" Kirin enthusiastically responds, soon a knowing smirk rests on his face. "How about you Kiyo? Found someone to settle down with yet?"

"Uhh," Kiyoomi starts, irresolute. Well yes, but actually no.

"Wah! Mommy is that uncle Kiyo?" A child's voice can be heard, his English accent very deep and sophisticated.

"Yes dear, say hi." Kirin chuckles and lifts his first born, approximately six years older than the twins. This kid inherited his father's blond hair, but how straight it is, and the color of his eyes were from his mother.

"Hi Eliel, how are you?" Kiyoomi greets softly.

"Never been better!" The half Japanese-half British child responds.

"Kiyoomi." Another voice interrupts. 

"Nice to see you Mr. Azreal. Are you taking care of my brother?" The raven asks the wavy-haired blond who appears, albeit his English is a bit slang.

"Yes. Very well." The blond looks at his lover affectionately and the other does the same. Basically they spend a moment in front of the very romantically hopeless Kiyoomi.

"See that." Chiyoko whispers. "You and Atsumu-kun could've had that."

It's safe to say that Kiyoomi smacks her with no mercy.

After chatting for a while, the topic of Kiyoomi is unfortunately brought up again.

"You kind of dodged my question, ototo. Are you seeing someone?" Kirin asks.

The spiker gulps nervously and because his older sister wants to make his life more miserable, she replies with the most obnoxious thing. "Yesn't."

"Pardon?"

"That's an English word, right?"

Another smack hits Chiyo-nee san.

"What do you mean by that? Yes but no? Make it make sense." Kirin asks with an arched brow.

"Kirin, Kiyo has someone to introduce you to." Chiyoko starts.

"Neesan!"

"He's going to find out later anyways. Why not tell him now?" 

Kiyoomi sighs. She has a point. After all, the older sisters are the second mothers. 

"Niichan, don't tell mother nor father."

"Why not Kiyo?" Kirin inquires.

"Just... promise me you won't."

"Why?"

"Kirin." Chiyoko scolds.

The omega shivers. It's never a good thing to mess around with alpha siblings. Kirin complies. "Okay."

With all uncertainty, Kiyoomi calls out to the twins who are playing in the distance. And like the five year-olds they are, they decide to race to their papa. And when Sumi trips because she was pushed by her brother, Chiyoko barely suppresses her laughter.

From the other side of the screen, Kirin can hear a commotion going on.

"It's not fun losing now is it?"

"Not fair Kitsu, you pushed me!"

"Loopholes, Sumi."

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away from Japan, Kirin hears those two unfamiliar voices. Immediately, he assumes that Kiyoomi decided to adopt, because it seems like the younger doesn't have a lover and if he were to have one, any child he would have would be three years at oldest.

Kirin laughs at his brother's misfortune in love. "Kiyo, you didn't tell me you ado-"

He stops when the two children pop up the screen.

Those are definitely Kiyoomi's. They look so much like him. 

"Who's this?" Sumi approaches the camera, her face almost taking the whole screen. Her doll eyes blink at the omega curiously.

"My brother."

"Your other sibling?" Kitsu asks to which Kiyoomi confirms. Without wasting the opportunity to scold the abomination of a twin he has, the little boy impertinently pulls his sister's hair. "You're too close to the camera, idiot."

"Waah Kitsu, my hair!" 

Kiyoomi sighs as Chiyoko laughs obnoxiously beside him.

"H-hello." Kirin starts, unsure. "I'm your father's older brother, Kirin."

"Why giraffe?" Sumi asks.

"What?"

"Are you a giraffe?" 

Kirin blinks and soon after, he realizes that 'Kirin' translates to giraffe.

Kitsu pulls her hair a bit harsher this time. "Idiot! That's his name."

"Kitsu, stop that." Kiyoomi reprimands as his daughter whines from pain. That was enough for Kitsu to retreat his hands.

Kirin laughs. "Oh dear. I hope she's okay. I didn't get your names though."

And with that, both children introduce themselves. They talk for a bit— as usual, it's mostly Sumi. Kitsu only speaks when being asked, and even most of the questions directed to him are answered by his sister. Kirin is only impressed that with the massive difference in personalities, they manage to tolerate each other. Well, it's not like both kids have a choice anyways. That aside, the omega is very entertained by them.

While the three of them talk, Chiyoko whispers to her youngest brother. "You're still not telling me how'd you get them nor what's going on with you and their mother?"

Kiyoomi sighs. "I want to explain it only once. I'll tell both you and nii-chan later."

"This isn't fair." She crosses her arms and pouts.

"What is?"

"That we get to know at the same time. I want to be first."

The younger alpha flicks her forehead. "Why do you always revolve around competition?"

"Hey, it's in you too. It runs in the family." She smiles sarcastically.

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. "You're really like Motoya."

The older only points to her head. "I mean, we have the same hair color, right?"

Each sibling in the Sakusa household is unique. They each have something in their appearance that differs from the other two. Kiyoomi, has stormy dark eyes unlike both his older siblings who have bright green ones. Kirin is the only sibling with straight hair — courtesy of their mother. Chiyoko on the other hand, has bright brown hair while her brothers have those that coat a raven's feathers - luscious black. She got her hair color from her mother, who is the older sister of Motoya's father. 

But it's not only hair color that makes her more alike to Motoya than the rest of them. It's also her personality — she's cheery and bubbly and if the situation requires it, she becomes the most intimidating. Kiyoomi is blunt, unsocial and hostile while Kirin is shy and timid. If Sumi didn't inherit her outgoingness from Atsumu, then it might be from Chiyoko due to natural selection. Blame the Mendelian inheritance and all those genetic shit.

After talking for quite awhile, both kids seem to be sleepy. It makes sense considering it was past their bedtime and they had a whole day out. Chiyoko instructs Kiyoomi to tuck them in while she talks a bit with Kirin.

After kissing both his children goodnight, Kiyoomi enters the living room and earns an anticipatory gaze from his sister. She then turns the phone to show Kirin, sharing the same look.

"Explain."

Kiyoomi lets out a nervous exhale. "Does it have to be now?"

"You promised to tell us both." Chiyoko says with all seriousness. Judging from the furrow of her brow, she's about to snap. "And the fact that you hid them from us—"

"Look, I didn't even know they existed till a few months ago." The spiker immediately cuts his sister off.

"Why?" Kirin asks, on speaker. "What happened for you to only learn about their existence in their fifth year. Why only now, Kiyoomi?"

Kiyoomi remains silent— frozen on the doorway leading to the living room.

"Listen Kiyo, we won't tell ‘kaasan, nor ‘tosan." Chiyoko sighs pleadingly. "You can tell us anything. We've been keeping secrets since we were kids."

"This is not just a small secret." Kiyoomi carefully sits down on the couch farthest from the one where his sister sits. "The weight of this 'secret' isn't equal to that of forbidden crushes, or secret meet-ups with lovers, or, or—"

"Meeting up with her back then was a big deal already." Chiyoko grits her teeth. "You knew that if our parents found out then—"

"And they did." Kiyoomi raises his shoulders sarcastically. "Because someone had to fuck up nee-san's only time in freedom." He glares at the camera presented at him. "Nee-san had only one chance at a relationship before being arranged with the son of a motherfucking business partner and her own brother had to fuck it up."

Kirin shivers, voice quavering. "K-Kiyo, me and nee-san are okay no—"

"And so?" Kiyoomi cuts him off. "And so what if you're okay now? How does this give any assurance that you won't tell on me?"

"Kiyoomi." Kirin starts and repeats more determinedly. "Kiyoomi stop being a hypocrite, try to remember that you also told on me when I got pre—"

"I had to! Because you were going to kill it." Kiyoomi reasons out. "I mean look where you are now, you're living a goddamn fairytale! You're lucky to have screwed around with that business man because mother and father were able to make a fortune out of that mess!"

"Wouldn't that make you more of a hypocrite." Chiyoko spits with the most hateful tone. The next thing she bites out only quiets him down.

"As if you never told Atsumu-kun to kill them."

It seems as if Kiyoomi's heart stopped beating altogether. 

"H-how—"

"His pursuer's sister," Chiyoko pauses, bites her lips, unsure whether she should continue. She does anyway. "Is my husband's business partner."

Kirin pieces it altogether. The realization only gives him an ugly pinch of brows as he looks at his younger brother. "This isn't true Kiyoomi, tell me this isn't—"

"I panicked!" Kiyoomi snaps.

Chiyoko and Kirin remain silent, urging him to continue.

Head in hands, he explains. "I was pressured. Back then, I knew I couldn't raise them right. I panicked because of the thought that I'll only be raising them the way mother and father raised us; to be instruments in business."

No matter how much the other two wanted to deny it, they can't. It's literally glued into their life plans, to cultivate and make more money — to marry the most affluent, the prettiest and the most powerful elites to make the most capable children to repeat the process. It's a never-ending cycle; the ugly truth of business.

"Kirin-nii, I told you to keep Eliel because you could raise him right, and no matter what, he could grow up happily because you and Azreal-san were madly in love with each other. I didn't have that, okay? Me and Atsumu only benefited each other, but we didn't look at the other like that back then. Well... At least I didn't." 

"I wasn't ready back then. I didn't want to bury them in impossible expectations and drowning pressure. Because if you ask me, I'd rather not be born than to experience being yelled at, just because I couldn't recite one French word correctly; to be slapped because my business math grades didn't exceed a 90; to force every math equation, every language lesson, and every business tactic up my head, only for it to be useless; to grow up unhappily, because I was raised to act amoral, most times to swindle. The guilt of what I learned was suffocating, I couldn't breathe. I pursued volleyball, because it is my passion. I pursued it also because I wanted out of this. Out of this suffocating line of business."

"I didn't want to deprive them of their right to enjoy life, to be free. I grew up with the fear of giving the same trauma to any kid — be it my own or not. I refused to fall in love, because of this. Because I don't want to see the disappointment in my lover's eyes when they learn that I am the reason for the lifelessness in our kids." 

"If I was given children just to dictate their lives then I'd rather not. I'd rather not be my own parents."

The thought haunts him, he didn't want to see Sumi nor Kitsu glued to a life that they never wanted. He didn't want to see them conquer the world in the most expensive clothes, mansions, cars— just to be unhappy.

Money can't buy you happiness — and that's the ugly truth of every human's object of greed; money.

"So when I found out he was pregnant, I panicked. I panicked because I wasn't ready to be a parent—I wasn't ready to raise them. I was young and naive, and never had faith in myself. Huh, maybe it's my fault all along."

But Kiyoomi wants to try. He wants to try to be a parent. He wants to have heart-to-heart talks with his children, he wants them to confide in him. He wants someone to watch him in every match, to wear his jersey and say "that's my papa!". He wants someone to inherit his rare smile.

And even sometimes, he wants someone else. He wants someone to kiss and whisper sweet nothings to. He wants someone to thread their hands in his hair on the stormiest of nights. He wants to wake up with someone he wants to spend his life with. 

Atsumu.

"Is the fear still there?" Kirin asks, softer than usual.

"The fear is something I should've got rid of a long time ago." Kiyoomi raises his head to look at both siblings. "It's a bitter regret."

"Do you still want to try?" Chiyoko inquires quietly. "To fix your family?"

There's a void in Kiyoomi, something that makes him feel incomplete. It's a gaping hole in his soul, just sitting there and eating him up from the inside. Just as he thought he's satisfied with his life, the hollow feeling in his chest makes him think otherwise. It's synonymous to an incomplete puzzle — because it isn't finished, it bugs him to no end.

And when he finally finds the missing piece, he also finds out that he only has a few months left with them.

Maybe he'll never be satisfied with his life.

Kiyoomi only laughs acerbically. "I think it's too late for that."

"Why?"

How cruel must life be. He had no freedom as a child, his life destined to be damned in the corruption of business. Every time he sees hundred-dollar watches, luxurious condominiums, designer clothes— he sees blood money. And now that he miraculously freed himself from the chains, he let his childhood trauma get the best of him, making him turn away from a future that could've been.

Kiyoomi grew up with affluenza and it's still there. It resides alongside his childhood trauma.

How cruel.

He smiles sadly. "They'll be leaving soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i think this story has too much drama already
> 
> also me: haha let's add sakusa family dilemma ⫷ °⧭° ⫸
> 
> my interpretation of sakusa siblings (´∀｀)♡ would definitely simp for each one!!
> 
> so yeah, to those still skeptical of sakusa, i decided to add a backstory so that this whole mess of a story actually makes fucking sense. i hope it did sakusa justice even just the bare minimum!! 
> 
> advanced merry christmas yall!! see u guys in the next chap ^^
> 
> (ps, sakusa has competition? hehe)


	21. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pent up feelings result in a sudden outburst. Atsumu is convinced that this is all a twisted game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the holiday's are almost ending! are yall ready to bid 2020 goodbye?
> 
> ps a lot of elite references in this chapter!! if you're planning to watch elite then prepare for some heavy spoilers here!!

Shouyou hops around as the sun kisses his orange locks and tanned skin. "Let's go to the beach, beach!"

"Let's go get a wave!" Koutarou joins in.

"They say, ay— what they gonna say." Tetsurou follows.

"Have a drink, clink, found the bud light." Shouyou continues.

"Bad bitches like me is hard to come by." Koutarou finger guns to a few ladies staring at them.

"You know, Keiji-san won't be happy to see you flirting around." Kei deadpans.

"Hey! I wasn't flirting around." Kou retorts dramatically. "I was just joking!"

"Oi, and stop singing boke! Your English is embarrassing!" Tobio smacks Shouyou in the head.

"Excuse me?!"

"Behave now boys." Kiyoomi sighs. "Wouldn't it be embarrassing for six six-footers to be making a scene in public?"

Tetsurou laughs obnoxiously. "Hah! Tell that to Shouyou!"

"Excuse me?!" Shouyou repeats.

Kiyoomi spares a glance at the redhead. "I mean, five six-footers and one five-foot midget."

"Omi!" The omega whines.

They are currently at a public beach in Sendai, courtesy of Shouyou's invitation. It was supposed to be the three of them teammates only— enter Kiyoomi, Shou and Kou— but of course, the more the merrier so Tetsurou opted to go too, especially since Kei has more knowledge of the city. Tobio was invited as well to help look after his omega. Keiji couldn't tag along as he's pregnant and needs to rest.

A part of Kiyoomi is thankful that Keiji wasn't able to accompany them, or else he'd feel more incomplete with all these couples around him.

He was able to talk things out with Chiyoko and Kirin last month. After explaining everything, they promised to help in the best way they could. Kiyoomi may hate his parents, but he loves his siblings so much — he's really lucky to have them.

For the whole morning, they played beach volleyball. After six rounds, Shouyou remains superior and it's not even a surprise. When they decide to take a break from playing, Shouyou sees two familiar people in the background while he walks around. Under the shade of a big, colorful umbrella, two beach chairs are occupied by two omegas and a little girl. She lays on the chest of the taller one, currently snoozing as the sea breeze disrupts her dusty rose hair.

His eyes glow up as he runs to the two. "Koushi-san! Atsumu-san!"

"Oi, BOKE! What are you doing! Get back here!" Tobio runs after the living incarnation of chaos which is his mate.

"Bro, we're having a race!" Koutarou enthusiastically challenges Tetsurou.

"Oya oya, you're on!" The raven childishly follows as they race to Shouyou.

And that is how two of the eldest in the group once again successfully prove that age is just a number.

Kei sighs, already tired even as it's only nine in the morning. "I'm guessing this is our cue to make sure they don't fuck up?"

Kiyoomi silently agrees as both of them walk towards the scene.

\---

"I just finished season two, Rebeka's kinda badass." Atsumu pulls his shades off, careful as to not interrupt Keiko, who's sleeping on his chest.

"Yeah, and her mother's a drug lord." Koushi responds, munching on some chips as he stares into the vast sea.

"Doesn't that make her more cool?" 

Koushi's brows furrow. "The hell is wrong with you? Wait... I know now." He puckers his lip in thought. "You like Rebeka because she's the only one who didn't engage in sexual activity."

"Well, we have Cayetana who didn't go far as to making out with Polo, but I hate her. She's an ambitious bitch." Atsumu laughs. 

Deep inside, he's actually laughing at his own hypocrisy. It's as if he himself wasn't ambitious — hoping for reciprocated feelings which were clearly impossible. Maybe he himself is a Cayetana; just another person who believed too much in fairytales, but didn't get their happy ending.

"But didja' think Marina deserved to die?" He asks, eager to get the topic off of Cayetana— the character he relates to the most.

Koushi scrunches his nose in disgust. "She had the fucking nerve to start a relationship with Samuel even when she's carrying his brother's child."

"Hey, it wasn't like she knew she was pregnant."

Koushi shrugs. "Either way, she's dead. Polo did a good fucking job bashing her skull with that trophy."

Atsumu laughs again. "You're so vulgar Shi-chan~ Everyone thinks you're a saint but you're actually a bitch."

There wasn't any heat in Atsumu's statement, Koushi can tell that so he laughs as well. "And you're my exact opposite. You act all bitchy and bratty but deep inside, you're the actual saint."

"If yer daughter hears ya swear, you're so dead."

"Well then I trust you to not wake her up. She's sleeping on you anyways." Koushi chuckles.

It's a weekend, the twins are visiting their grandparents at Amagasaki with Osamu. It's one of those rare days that Atsumu has the freedom to do anything. So Koushi proposes for them to just chill at the beach.

"Thoughts about Lu and Valerio?"

"Fucking disgusting. Just because they're only half-siblings, doesn't mean they can bang each other."

Atsumu couldn't stop another fit of giggles. It's funny when Koushi swears because usually, he's so timid and careful with his words; again, he's the literal archetypal of kindness. But that just goes to show that there's no such thing as a sinless man.

"I like Carla. Carla's badass."

"Yeah. She arranged a whole threesome."

"You guys are planning on a threesome with Daichi-san?" A voice unexpectedly joins in.

Both omegas jolt up, the movement almost waking up the little girl. The older omegas meet the eyes of a specific wing spiker.

"The fuck ya' doin' 'ere Shou?" Atsumu bites due the panic-induced adrenaline that overwhelms him.

"No Shou, we are not planning on a threesome." Koushi facepalms himself.

"Oya? Getting naughty here now are we?"

"Oya oya! What's this news of a threesome?"

Sweet Jesus. Just as Atsumu thought that Shouyou would be enough trouble, he catches a glimpse of the others; Tetsurou, Koutarou, Tobio, Kei—

And Kiyoomi.

Why the fuck is he here too? He'd rather talk about that nonexistent threesome than face him right now.

"We were talkin' about Elite." The blond explains. "That show fucked up my head."

"But you enjoyed it?" Koushi raises a brow.

"Woulda' been more enjoyable if they minimized the sex scenes."

Koushi shrugs. "That's what you get for celibating; you regain your innocence."

Atsumu widens his eyes and punches the older's shoulder. He would die of embarrassment if someone heard him. Especially if Kiyoomi knew—

"Vulgar, aren't we Koushi-san?" Tetsurou smirks.

The grey-haired omega flashes a provoking smile. "You're lucky you get to see this side of me."

"Anyways, why don't we play volleyball!" Shouyou proposes before any heated argument can ruin the moment.

"You've got to be kidding me. We just finished six matches earlier." Kei looks at the redhead in disbelief.

"Thanks fellas, but I'll be takin' a dip." Atsumu rejects the offer as he transfers Keiko to her mother's arms. He gets up and chuckles at the little girl, still sleeping peacefully despite all the commotion. "Shi-chan, she's a heavy sleeper."

"I know." Koushi chuckles as he cradles his five year-old.

Without wasting a moment, Atsumu lets his feet drown into the soothing sand and he runs to the shore. The water overwhelms him; and it's the good kind of overwhelming. It's revitalizing. The waves crash on his body as he lets go of everything, even for just a moment. He relaxes, losing all control over his body— trusting the waters to take him to nirvana. He just floats there, his body dead, but his mind alive. He closes his eyes, seizing the feeling of the waves embracing his body, making it numb to stress.

If he can't find comfort in the leaves, then he crashes upon the waves.

But even then, he couldn't be granted peace.

"Hey."

Atsumu looks up, amber eyes meet those of charcoal once more. God, when will he ever get a break?

"Hey." Atsumu answers back, having no sight of the direction of this conversation.

He knows that he should stop and continue on ignoring him. He knows that avoidance is the best option for him. But the alpha is some sort of magnet; attracting Atsumu, and Atsumu only. There's something in his charisma that keeps luring him no matter how much time has passed. There's just something in the intensity of his gaze, leaving the omega speechless and frozen just like the effects of Medusa's very own. There's just something in Atsumu's heart that makes him want to never let go of him, even with the knowledge of everything being one-sided. 

It's selfish of Atsumu, but it serves him right. Atsumu is never selfish, but his love for the raven makes an exception.

He then reflects on what Nadia said in season two when talking to Valerio; "Love is supposedly something very beautiful, but it turns you into something selfish."

It really is hard to let go of someone you love.

_Why do we fall in love with the people who will never be ours?_

"Ya don't wanna get in the water?" Atsumu asks as he stops floating. Maybe he can synchronize with the waves another time.

"No." Kiyoomi answers inscrutable.

"Then why are ya here?"

"It just felt right."

How does he expect Atsumu to respond to that? All Kiyoomi has been doing is giving him mixed hints, and he's close to snapping. Is he playing with him? There are a lot of more entertaining omegas out there, so why does he have to mess with Atsumu? Is this what spoiled kids grow up to? To believe that they can toy around with people under their painfully luxurious social class?

"What's on your mind?" Kiyoomi asks upon seeing the furrow of the blond's brows.

Kiyoomi likes to ask that question to Atsumu when he senses that things aren't okay. He's asked this a thousand times, yet not a single one was truthfully responded to by the older.

"It's nothing, you should go." The omega scoffs as he turns away, probably deeper into the sea to drown this Kiyoomi problem.

"Where are you going?"

He knows that he should stop and continue on ignoring him. He knows that avoidance is the best option for him. But—

"Deeper. Wanna go with me?"

But Atsumu just can't help it.

"I already told you, no."

Atsumu frowns. "Yer such a killjoy."

"What's on your mind?" Kiyoomi ignores the comment as he repeats the question.

"A lot." Atsumu decides to answer, because he knows the extent of Kiyoomi's stubbornness— he knows that Kiyoomi won't leave until he receives an answer.

Surprisingly, the raven only stands there, even as Atsumu starts to float once again.

After a few minutes of this, the setter finally snaps. "Why are ya still 'ere?"

"This isn't your beach, you can't tell me to leave."

"Stop starin' at me, it's creepy!"

Kiyoomi doesn't listen. 

Atsumu hates how the person he loves is the same person that easily gets on his nerves — the person who can push his buttons without even trying.

Kiyoomi is deranging him.

Because he's annoyed— because he wants to see an expression of annoyance instead of the usual, dull provoking one on the alpha's face, he pretends to look down the water.

"Wait, Sakusa look! I see somethin'." He feigns an expression of fascination.

"What is that?" Kiyoomi asks, the intonation used for questions is barely there.

"It's like a colorful shell! Kiyoomi ya must look at this!" 

The usage of Kiyoomi's first name only lures the alpha in. He misses the way how 'Omi' effortlessly rolls out on the omega's tongue. He wants to hear it again, he yearns it. So, he carefully approaches the sea and stops where he's close to Atsumu, the water only reaching his thighs— barely wetting his shorts. He squints his eyes towards where Atsumu is looking. "I don't see—"

Abruptly, he sees Atsumu in front of him and has no time to react when he's being pushed into the water, his face tasting the salt. He feels his upper body become wet— scratch that, his _whole_ body is now wet.

Once he's up again, and the breeze meets his wet skin, he wastes no time in reprimanding the older. "Miya! What—"

His argument is cut off as Atsumu only drags him into the deeper parts of the sea, the water levels reaching from his thighs, to his torso and eventually, to his chest. But Kiyoomi paid no mind to that. Instead, he listens to Atsumu's full laughter as if it was music. He sounds so happy and carefree, just like the sixteen year-old teenager Kiyoomi used to glare at from across the net.

He misses this Atsumu.

And if he could be stranded in the deepest parts of the sea, only to keep spending time with this Atsumu, he would rather drown— if it was the only way for the blond to truly tell him what's on his mind— to tell each other everything as the water consumes them whole.

This is the feeling of yearning? Just like the rest of the more meaningful feelings a human experiences, it's foreign to Kiyoomi.

He decides that it's a good kind of foreign as Atsumu continues to laugh gorgeously in front of him.

\---

"This can only end two ways." Kei starts. "It's either they make out, or try to drown each other again."

The six of them currently watch the setter and the spiker, having nothing else better to do than to meddle with the complicated relationship that connects the two.

"They make out." Koutarou decides.

"They drown each other." Tetsurou says at the same time.

Both alphas look at one another, betrayal evident at each other's faces.

"Bro, don't you have faith in them?" Koutarou gasps.

"What? Wouldn't it be entertaining to see them drown each other?"

Koutarou considers this. "Hmm, point taken."

"Idiots." Tobio scoffs. "I bet they'll try to drown each other then make out afterwards."

"Oh, we're betting again?" Shouyou inquires.

"NO, NEVER AGAIN." Tetsurou disapproves before anyone can accede. He's experienced the loss of fifteen thousand yen, he doesn't want to experience it again.

Tobio only laughs.

\---

"Do you know how to swim?" Kiyoomi asks as he watches the setter waddle around like a dog in water.

"Hmm, of course." Atsumu stops and turns to the alpha, pressing a pointer finger to his chin in thought. "We have cousins in Okinawa, so every summer when me and 'Samu were kids, we'd visit them. N' ya know what Okinawa s' known for."

"The beaches..."

"Bingo!" Atsumu flails his arms like an overactive little boy. "We always take the opportunity to swim there, b'cause I would race with 'Samu n' our cousins. The winner always receives an extra popsicle stick given by obaasan."

Atsumu's smile is contagious—Kiyoomi smiles as the former recalls his childhood. He must've had so much freedom, and not a single problem to stress about. How envious Kiyoomi is.

"How about you?" Atsumu turns his head, big brown eyes shine in anticipation. "Do you know how to swim, Sakusa?"

"Yeah. I kind of don't have a choice back then." Kiyoomi chuckles bitterly.

"Oh? Elaborate." Atsumu swims closer to Kiyoomi, interested in what the alpha has to say.

"Well, my parents always wanted me to be good at everything. Every opportunity to teach me something new is never disregarded. When an expensive pool opened in Tokyo, they immediately signed me up for lessons." The spiker explains in a rather, sad way. It's as if reminiscing his childhood is nothing exciting for him.

And little did Atsumu know that Kiyoomi didn't have the best experience as a child.

"I'm not fond of swimming really, but I was taught to be obedient; I could never turn against my parent's decisions for my life."

Both of them stay silent as they watch the horizon. It wasn't until Atsumu spoke up.

"F'ya don't mind me askin'." He turns to Kiyoomi. "What was your childhood like?"

Kiyoomi's mind lingers for a while, trying to find the right words. "I was always misinterpreted for the life I had. They always think I had it easy because 'money would come at a snap of a finger'. But although I had money, I didn't have freedom."

"It was... suffocating. I was always envious of those kids who get to play around without a care in the world. Before I was introduced to volleyball, I would study nonstop on weekdays. Weekends? Study again. Volleyball was supposed to be a coping mechanism for my germaphobia, but when I learned that I could use the sport as an escape to my fate, I grew fond of it."

"My parents didn't like it at first when I told them I'd withdraw from business. Hell, they didn't talk to me for almost a month because of this. But then we had an agreement. I can pursue volleyball only after I finish a degree. I didn't like it, no. I wanted to go straight to the V-League but there was no other way. Because it would be shameful if a child of the Sakusa's doesn't have a college degree."

Atsumu listens carefully. Kiyoomi has been chained as a child, that's why he's rather considered an outcast compared to other kids who had a fulfilling childhood. Atsumu has no college degree, but his parents didn't force him to get one. As long as he was happy, they were happy.

But in Kiyoomi's case, his parents would rather take away his happiness if it meant protecting their family name and their power.

"Did they... Only abuse you mentally?" The omega hesitantly asks.

"No. I couldn't really say emotionally though, because I grew up without a lot of emotions. The only thing I felt were negative emotions. I only felt positive when it came to volleyball. The abuse was also physical. Whenever I get something wrong, they would slap me, pinch me, and all that. It also arrived at the point where they deprive me of dinner sometimes when my marks failed their expectations."

Atsumu blinks. Never has his parents been that strict to him. He can only imagine 9 year-old Kiyoomi—probably learning Chinese and trigonometry— buried in books and tutors, as he looks out of the window where other children walk around at the park. It's horrifying if you ask him. Not to mention, traumatising.

"I... I don't know what to say."

"I didn't expect you to say anything. I just wanted to let that out. I know I can trust you."

Atsumu shrugs. "I'm flattered. But ya don't want to further inflate my ego, do ya?"

"Yeah, we don't want that." Kiyoomi says, expecting a retort that'll result in banter just like the old times. He didn't expect to be met by silence though. "You're quiet."

"Oh sorry. I was just— awed, I guess." The blond chuckles nervously.

"Why?"

"Because I've never heard ya talk that much. This is the most you've told me since we've met in high school."

"Hmm. People change I guess." Kiyoomi hums in agreement. "Just like you."

"Me?"

"You don't talk that much anymore." Kiyoomi explains. "You used to tease and flirt with me at any opportunity."

Atsumu laughs, cringing at the memory. "Don't remind me of that! It's embarrassin', really."

"You always tell me everything. Even when I don't ask, you run your mouth anyways. It was annoying at first but I'm starting to miss it."

"Well, I had to mature Sakusa. I have to be a role model for the kids. We don't want them growin' up to be assholes like me, right?" Atsumu jokes.

Kiyoomi goes closer to the blond. This time, they were in front of each other, only inches apart. "Well, if it means they bring a part of you when they grow up, I don't really mind."

"Hey, they might look more like ya but they'll always have a part of me." The setter pouts.

Kiyoomi chuckles, bringing a hand up to caress the omega's cheek. "Of course."

Atsumu looks at him, trying to read the alpha.

But maybe he can be illiterate just for this moment.

Kiyoomi leans in, taking the chance he wasn't able to claim back then. Atsumu seems to show no disapproval to the alpha's actions, so he takes things further.

He brings a careful thumb to caress the omega's bottom lip. It's so soft, delicate and pink. Atsumu runs his tongue on Kiyoomi's thumb, moistening it seductively, not knowing what he himself is doing. It's dangerous— so, so dangerous. They shouldn't be messing around like this if there isn't any meaning behind it.

But Atsumu disregards the warning his mind supplies him. He closes his eyes as the taller does the same.

Kiyoomi crashes their lips together, and just like that, he feels like he's found the missing piece. He savours the way that both their lips sync with each other.

As if it isn't enough, Kiyoomi pushes his tongue in, earning a moan from the shorter.

_Do you wanna play, do you wanna come play,_

The alpha's arms rest at the omega's waist, holding him tight enough to leave indents of his nails through the thin shorts. Atsumu hooks his arms around Kiyoomi's neck, never wanting to let go.

It feels so hot — so warm. Nevermind that it's almost ten thirty in the morning. Nevermind that they were under the scorching heat of the sun. Kiyoomi is a cold person; both metaphorically and physical. He's got a heart of ice and his skin is frozen to the touch. But somehow, Atsumu has never felt this warm in five years— and warm in a good way. Heats were way warmer but they never feel right. Kiyoomi's lips in his however, makes a tepid spark that warms his heart.

_In my twisted games, my twisted games?_

Unfortunately, Atsumu is aware that this is all a game. Atsumu is a toy that Kiyoomi can fiddle with, to experiment the extent of the omega's love. Kiyoomi might be the smarter of the two, but that doesn't mean that Atsumu isn't. He can act like the dumb blond, but he's actually got a lot in his head— too much to be exact. He can fabricate lies and he knows how to sort out his masks depending on the situation. He's seen almost everything, he knows how it's going to end. But why? Why can't he just let go? Perhaps it's the fact that this is one of the last times that Kiyoomi gets to hold him like this, before he leaves.

Or perhaps it's because Atsumu never wants to leave.

_I lost my mind but I'm doing just fine,_

What is he even thinking? He has to leave, it's for the best. He knows he shouldn't be near the alpha, but then again, at this point he's lost his mind. The puppeteer who holds his body's strings is his heart, leaning in, wanting more and more of Kiyoomi. He doesn't even care if they're kissing in public. He doesn't care if the next headline for tomorrow's showbiz news is _'Black Jackals wing spiker kisses his past setter in a public beach in Sendai'_. His mind has no control or whatsoever of the situation. His anxiety is warning him to pull away but sometimes, it's the heart that wins.

_Yeah I'm doing just fine, I don't need my mind_

Atsumu allows Kiyoomi's tongue to explore his mouth, tracing everything. He feels exposed, but in the same time, it feels so good. He also lets Kiyoomi tilt his head to deepen the kiss, resulting in a whimper and a furrow of brows that form such a lewd expression.

Atsumu always had the most expressive faces, even when it's fake. Even when it's just a mask to protect himself.

He's so pretty that it turns on Kiyoomi.

_I lost my mind but I'm doing just fine,_

They pull away for a moment to catch some breath, a string of saliva connecting both of their swollen lips. Atsumu licks his lips, cutting it. They stare at each other, their eyes holding the same emotions; relief, affection and yearning.

Without wasting a second, Kiyoomi nuzzles his nose on Atsumu's jaw, occasionally planting kisses before he travels lower to the blond's neck. Atsumu celibated, meaning he's sensitive to even the littlest acts that bring him pleasure. Because of this, another pretty moan escapes his pretty lips.

'This is just a game. You can lose your mind over the kiss, but never over the fact that this is just a game.' Atsumu reminds himself.

But maybe just for the moment, he can lose all his senses.

He doesn't need his mind.

_Yeah I'm doing just fine, I don't need my mind_

Kiyoomi brings the other's waist closer as he greedily kisses his neck before sucking and biting on it, licking it afterwards to ease the pain. Atsumu transfers his grip up on Kiyoomi's curls, pulling it as he tries to stop his mouth from eliciting another inappropriate sound.

"No, no. Don't shut up now." Kiyoomi delicately whispers in his ear with a tone of honey.

Atsumu's also sensitive to the alpha's words, so he complies; not holding back on the moans that force themselves out of his mouth. Kiyoomi returns to his neck, and soon enough, the sweet scent of citrus enters his nose— like a drug, it's so addictive. It was then that he realized he's close to the omega's scent gland.

What turns him on more is that there's no mark —it's bare. He nuzzles his nose on the gland, groaning as the scent overwhelms him.

Kiyoomi is out of control now. The control he managed to gather back then when he was with Atsumu in his heat, disappeared. Perhaps it's because of the fact that Atsumu's fully conscious about this— a clear indication that he wants the same thing Kiyoomi wants. He drags his teeth on the expanse of the gland, licking it slowly, earning another sweet moan from the blond. Atsumu suddenly realizes what the younger is planning to do, his eyes widen as he feels the teeth graze his skin for a second time.

Pull away.

Pull away.

_Pull away._

"Stop." Atsumu halts him, pushes the younger away as he tries to conceal the forming hickey.

Kiyoomi is confused. "Why?"

"Because ya said it felt right to you," Atsumu starts.

When he passes by Kiyoomi, he whispers in his ear, a cold, hostile tone causing goosebumps to the alpha, a sardonic smile plasters his face.

"But honey, it doesn't feel right to me."

It doesn't feel right. Being played at doesn't feel right, being more than just parents for their children to each other doesn't feel right. Any kind of relationship with one-sided feelings doesn't feel right.

At this point, can he even distinguish what's right for him?

And as Atsumu swims to the shore— far, far away from the deeper parts of the sea where he dragged Kiyoomi in, Kiyoomi himself feels like he's lost Atsumu for the second time.

But perhaps he never had Atsumu in the first place.

\---

"Shit's bouta' go down." Tetsurou declares.

They watched the two talk, swim, and eventually make out under the sun. Just as they thought this whole Kiyoomi-Atsumu unresolved affair was over, they see Atsumu swim back, leaving the taller speechless. The blond has his arm covering his neck, covering the evidence of another forming mistake.

When Atsumu reaches the beach umbrella where they stay at and proceeds to wipe himself with his towel, no one bothers to ask. The blond dries himself off with a towel. Koushi however, is never a patient person to begin with.

"Atsu—"

"Koushi-san! Keiko's still asleep? I knew she was a heavy sleeper, but I never knew her sleep was that heavy." Atsumu chuckles. But everyone knows he's redirecting the topic. He's aware of that, but he'd rather pretend than to explain about whatever the hell happened between him and the alpha back there.

Koushi plays along, but he can see through Atsumu's mask. He chuckles back. "It runs in our blood, Atsu. I mean, who doesn't like sleep?"

Kei sighs. He knows how stubborn Atsumu is. If he doesn't want to talk about anything, he doesn't - no matter how far you push it. But somehow, the shorter blond needs to get this out of his chest, and Kei can tell that by the way Atsumu's brows wrinkle. 

"Atsumu." He calls out. Atsumu replies with a 'hmm', indicating his attention.

"Talk. By that tree." Kei points to a palm tree not far from them. Although Atsumu knows what Kei wants to talk about, he acquiesces. 

Once the both of them were under the shade of the palm tree, Atsumu takes a deep inhale before he starts. "If yer gonna ask abou'—"

He is cut off when Kei lends a cigarette to him as his other hand fiddles around with the lighter in his pocket. Atsumu blinks. The taller doesn't smoke unless there's a problem. Clearly something is wrong. Without accepting the cigarette, he asks in a voice stained with worry. "Somethin' wrong Kei? Was my last toss pissin' ya off? Did he cheat on ya? Are ya—"

"No, 'Tsumu. Nothing's wrong with me. Just take the goddamn cigarette."

"Huh, so this is about me." 

Kei sighs again. This idiot is insufferable. "Listen, I may not look like the friendliest person—"

"Who even said ya look the least bit friendly? Yer glare can scare people b'fore they even think about approachin' ya."

The blocker gives the same glare to Atsumu. "Will you let me finish?"

Atsumu raises both his hands in surrender as Kei continues. "Okay I might not even look friendly, but I really care about my friends. I can't see you like this anymore."

"Aww! You consider me a friend?"

"Stop changing the topic Atsumu."

Instantly, Atsumu's smile fades as he sighs. It was Kei's turn to smile in a playful way. "Cigarette?"

"Let's share."

"Deal."

Kei lights up the cigarette as he hangs it by his strawberry pink lips. Smoke starts to form at the other end. Atsumu takes advantage of the time he isn't being interrogated yet. "Y'know, Kuroo-san and ya seem like the type to have cigarettes after sex."

"It's because we do. Not always, but often." Kei smirks after blowing a puff of smoke, the cigarette between his pointer and middle finger. "Poor Atsumu can't experience that because he's celibating."

Atsumu scoffs as he takes his turn with the cigarette. "Doesn't that make me presentable to other alphas though? I'm literally like a virgin— Madonna's shakin'."

"The way you kissed Sakusa-san says otherwise." 

Atsumu frowns. "I'm finishing this cigarette."

"Hey! We agreed on one."

"Oh I'll share it with ya if ya kiss me afterwards." Atsumu wiggles his eyebrows, actually serious. It isn't uncommon for omegas to mess around with each other platonically. Atsumu likes to make out with Kei in front of Tetsurou just to make the alpha jealous. His expression is hilarious.

But unfortunately for him this time, Kei doesn't buy it. "Nice try, but I'm not making out with you just to erase the taste of Sakusa-san's tongue on yours. I only taste one alpha."

"Aw c'mon! I thought I was your friend."

"As your friend, I have to help you resolve whatever's happening between both of you."

Atsumu sighs before giving Kei the cigarette. As he exhales smoke, he stays silent.

And because he's cornered already, he gives in after almost a minute of being quiet. "I feel like I'm bein' played at."

"Hmm?" Kei turns to him.

"He's so damn frustratin'." Atsumu says, his hands harshly gripping his bleached hair in exasperation. "We agreed to see each other only b'cause of the twins. He doesn't want me— No, he doesn't. He surely knows I was or am still in love with him, so he's playin' with me. Talkin' to me, kissin' me only because he wants to see me vulnerable for him. I'm not a toy Kei, I'm not a fucking—"

Kei immediately stuffs the cigarette in his mouth, effectively shutting him up. "Calm down."

"How can I? I don't like bein' taken advantage of!"

"Did he take advantage of you when you were at heat?"

"No." Atsumu's eyes widens as he turns to the other. "H-how did you know?"

Shit. Caught red-handed. Kei looks for an excuse. "Osamu-san told me."

"Yer not even close with 'Samu?"

"Stop changing the topic." Kei repeats.

"I can change it, because all ya need t' know is that he's playin' with me."

"But what if," Kei starts. "What if he genuinely wants to try?"

Atsumu considers this, but then again, when has he ever become lovable? It's impossible. The very thought that people actually want him (his personality, not his body nor appearance) ridicules him. Kiyoomi is a very wanted alpha. Omegas fawn over him— he's handsome, athletic, reasonable, rich, has manners, and literally marrying him would be everyone's fairytale come true.

Most fairytales have happy endings. Atsumu’s however, does not.

"For what reason would he want me other than the kids?" The shorter genuinely asks. "There are better omegas out there who try to pursue him."

"Believe it or not, you're quite a catch as well. A lot of alphas are swooning over you."

"They just want to get in my pants, they don't actually want me."

"How are you sure about that?" Kei snatches the cigarette to take his turn.

Atsumu sighs. "I heard you watch Elite?"

"Yeah. Finished season three a long time ago."

"Then ya must've heard what Polo said in season one."

"Enlighten me." Kei raises a brow.

_"I know this story has a happy ending only in movies."_ Atsumu narrates. 

He dreamed of a happy ending; a future with Kiyoomi, one where even death couldn't part them. But unfortunately, his life in not a movie— Atsumu will move overseas, miles and miles away from the alpha and eventually the alpha will forget him while Atsumu himself continues to yearn for a happy ending that could never be.

Movies in general give too much hope. 

"There's a difference between love and killing someone." Kei deadpans.

"But the context is the same, right?" Atsumu asks. "In the end I'm only connected to him because I used to be his setter, and I'm the mother of his kids."

"You don't know that."

"Hell I don't even know where's my fucking mind."

Kei sighs as he hands the cigarette the Atsumu for one last time. "Finish it."

Atsumu hesitantly takes the half-consumed cigarette. As soon as it leaves Kei's fingers, the latter adds. "And think about what I said."

\---

"Omegas who smoke are hot." Tetsurou comments as his eyes never leave his mate.

"You're creepy." Kiyoomi says from beside him.

"Oh really? Stop staring at Atsumu then."

Kiyoomi really is a hypocrite, because he can't bring himself to do so. Not when the setter's blowing puffs of smoke in such a seductive way. He even observes how Atsumu licks his lips every time he passes the cigarette to Kei.

Tetsurou finally looks away as he scans the alpha beside him. "Man, you're whipped."

Kiyoomi only grunts. The older laughs as he drags Tobio towards them, an arm around his neck as the other hand ruffles his hair. By the expression on the youngest's face, he looks so done with all this assholery. "How about you, King? Do you like omegas who smoke?"

"I prefer omegas without lung cancer."

Tetsurou laughs shamelessly while Kiyoomi rolls his eyes with a small laugh of his own.

"But to be honest, almost all omegas I know who smoke are most likely to be alphas." Tobio says as the oldest lets him go.

"Hmm, I guess you're right." Tetsurou contemplates. "Back then in high school, I was smitten for Kei. But then I thought he was an alpha so I believed I had no hope."

"It's a miracle you had." Kiyoomi comments.

"Oh shut up. You wasted your chance with Atsumu."

That seems to do the trick because Kiyoomi literally shuts up. Tetsurou continues. "But when he presented as an omega, I felt like I saved a country in my past life. Still can't believe he's mine to this day."

Both Kiyoomi and Tobio have matching expressions of disgust. Tetsurou's too mushy, too cliche — everyone thinks he's some sort of fuckboy (well partly that's true), but in reality he's weak for one specific Tsukishima Kei, who is now a Kuroo.

"I had a crush on Atsumu-san back then." Tobio admits. "Everyone thought he was an alpha, so I wished that the gods would turn me into an omega because I'd love to ride him."

"But I took back my wish when Atsumu-san presented, because fucking him doesn't sound bad. So Sakusa-san, you should be lucky that Shou and I are in love, because if not then I would've devoured him by now." The setter smirks as the former middle blocker laughs.

Kiyoomi looks at him, eyes crinkled in disgust. "If Shouyou knows about thi-"

"He does actually. He even has the hots for Atsumu-san too." Tobio says as if it was nothing. "I would entertain the idea of having a threesome with him if he wasn't celibating."

Tetsurou laughs again while Kiyoomi looks more unimpressed.

"Why is he celibating?" Kiyoomi asks.

"It's your fault Omi, I'm surprised you don't know that." Tetsurou answers as the younger raises a brow questioningly. "Omegas who were left by their alphas are traumatized, so mostly they don't engage in sexual acts, except when they're on heat. Sometimes they do it with other omegas or betas, but Atsumu doesn't. The farthest he's done is make out with Kei, and they still do that sometimes. That's why I'm watching them right now." Tetsurou squints his eyes as he watches the two omegas pass the cigarette back and forth.

"I never knew that." Kiyoomi says, still stunned at the revelation.

"But that doesn't mean that they'll stay like that forever. If ever the omega loves a new alpha and forgets the old one, then I guess they'll stop celibating." Tetsurou finishes. "All I'm sure though is that you weren't Atsumu's last. There was another alpha, according to Kei."

Kiyoomi flinches and if any of the other two alphas notice, they stay silent.

"I wouldn't blame anyone who would want to make out with Atsumu-san though." Tobio starts.

"Even if Shouyou did?" 

"No problem, as long as I get to make out with him first." The setter smirks once more.

The degree of Shouyou and Tobio's competition is immeasurable. From volleyball, to racing from one destination to another by foot, to eventually racing upon who gets to kiss Atsumu first. God knows if they had a competition on whoever sleeps around the most when they weren't dating yet.

And Tobio's right. No one could blame anyone for wanting Atsumu.

Miya Atsumu is a beautiful mess. Not only is he unfairly attractive, but he's also got a good heart. He's an asshole who puts others first before him. Why is he a mess? Because you can never tell what's on his mind. He'll tell you everything, but he won't reveal the burden he's obscuring.

Kiyoomi can't see right through him. He can't see right through his masks.

Though he plans to discover every angle of the beautiful disaster which is Miya Atsumu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really want a friendship between tsukki and atsu. i feel like they're both power bottoms who'll shamelessly insult their tops.
> 
> i apologize for the messy make out scene! clearly i have no experience in writing this. just added it to spice things up hehe (´ ꒳` )
> 
> my favorite rarepair is kageatsu so i added that in too lol.
> 
> come scream with me on twitter - @one_two_thlee. my cc is also open!! - @uno_dos_thles
> 
> wishing yall a happy new year!! thanks for stopping by sugarcube <3


	22. XVII.V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time won't heal anything if you don't surrender your lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll warn yall; the writing quality in this chapter absolutely SUCKS. maybe it's because i forced myself to write in the middle of my writer's block episode, lol i hope u still enjoy it tho (*ﾟーﾟ*)
> 
> this the the continuation of the last update (hence the .V) oh, there's also a song in this chap!! it's 'doors' by ben&ben (of course it had to be ben&ben, what did you expect? haha). i suggest you match up the song with the lyrics further down the chapter (i swear i perceived this better in my head lmao)

"Time to call it a day!" Koutarou exclaims.

"Aw! Already?" Shouyou pouts.

The alpha only looks down at the shorter with a big smile, he ruffles his sunlit orange locks. "Sorry Shou, the trip back to Tokyo is four hours and I promised Ji that I'd come home for dinner!"

"Hinata, he's whipped. Leave him be." Kei cuts in, tossing and catching a volleyball repeatedly. It's almost four in the afternoon when they finish another match of beach volleyball. They had lunch at a nearby barbecue stall by the boardwalk before Shouyou insisted on playing to help relieve the tension that dissolves around. Courtesy of a specific setter and spiker.

The setter in question, participates in the games. He does very well— in fact, he's improved very much. Kei only smirks when Tobio's jaw drops at his unexceptional sets. Just because he transitioned into a division 2 player, doesn't mean he can't improve at the same level of division 1 players. The taller blond made sure to prove this. 

MSBY's quartet is complete, but with the tension around, they can't play together properly. To ensure that no hell breaks loose, they make sure to separate Kiyoomi and Atsumu— keeping both of them across the net. Despite their efforts, the scent of citrus and lavender exceeds any other smell as they blend in for a wordless altercation for dominance. Nobody can even catch the smell of the sea breeze because of it. 

They don't exchange a word. Their eyes do the talking.

Hmm. Shouyou thinks to himself. The scene is familiar, too familiar for his own sake.

"Tobio." He murmurs to his mate beside him, they're packing up when Atsumu and Kiyoomi stay their farthest from each other— as if the other has an incurable, communicable virus. "Look at them. Reminds you of a time?"

The setter only nods. "We used to stare at each other like that back then. When you were in Brazil and I was in Italy."

"My God, was the tension that disgusting back then?" Shouyou's face scrunches. "Their eyes are basically having hate sex."

"It was actually. But this isn't about us. If they wanna fuck then can they just fuck already?"

"Hmm, I have an idea."

\---

"Alright, did we make sure not to leave anything?" Tetsurou asks.

"Small things are secured." Tobio says, hand landing on Shouyou's shoulder.

"H-hey!"

"So how are we traveling?" The alpha dismisses his mate's incoherent whines.

"So far we have two cars. Bokkun and Omi's." Tetsurou interprets. "We have to send Koushi and Atsumu home too so—"

"That's not necessary Tetsurou-san." Atsumu waves off. "We know Sendai very well, it shouldn't be too hard to—"

"I'll take whatever's free." Koushi cuts the taller off, his daughter being cradled in his arms. At one point of their matches, she was awake to watch, but eventually drifted to sleep out of boredom. 

"That would be impolite of us—"

"No, we insist." Kei stops Atsumu's stubborn statement. "But unfortunately, we're in a hurry. Bokuto-san needs to see the other Bokuto-san, king and shorty here have an interview tomorrow that they need to prepare for, and I'm going to Tokyo with Tetsu. Yuka's waiting for us." 

"Meanin'?"

"You and Sawamura-san need to ride with Sakusa-san."

Atsumu stops altogether as Kiyoomi jolts up. 

"You wouldn't mind, right Omi?" Koutarou smirks. 

"Well, my house isn't far from here. I guess it's fine." Koushi shrugs. 

By their laid-back reactions, Atsumu can tell that this was all planned. His eye twitches at the thought. 

"Omi?" Shouyou asks, an expression of tease can be coherently found within coffee brown eyes.

Kiyoomi clutches his fists. What are these idiots aiming for? For things to further fuck up?

But since he's surrounded, being left with no holes to wiggle himself out of the situation; he knows it's best to comply. He sighs, jotting down a mental note to spike a volleyball in each one of their faces the next time they meet in Tokyo.

"I don't see the issue."

Lies. Atsumu narrows his eyes at the alpha. As a master of deception himself, he can tell when an individual is spitting out falsities. There is an issue with the idea, and clearly Kiyoomi sees it; Atsumu can see how bothered the former is. He's been too much in love with him to pick up the littlest habits Kiyoomi does to express his emotions. Kiyoomi might be arcane, but sometimes he's not that subtle.

"Great, it's settled then! I'll see you at Tokyo, Omi. Have a safe trip, Koushi-san, Atsumu-san." Tetsurou waves as they retreat to Koutarou's car— wicked smiles of victory on their faces.

Atsumu, not knowing what to do, talks to Koushi despite the suspicion that he might be an accomplice in this plan. They talk until Atsumu doesn't even notice getting inside Kiyoomi's car; a Mercedes-Benz. Of course it had to be a stupid luxury car in the form of a casual sedan. If Kiyoomi was flashy about all the opulence his money allows him, he would've had multiple sports cars lined in his garage.

How did he get in the passenger seat? He doesn't know. Maybe Koushi subliminally convinced him to do so while he was invested in a topic.

It was fine at first— basically just avoiding the raven as he endlessly chats with the other omega. Which was rather hard to do, because Kiyoomi is literally beside him. But unfortunately, just as stated a while ago, the Sawamura residence is not far away. It could take a whole five minutes to reach there. Those five minutes are running faster than Atsumu perceived it to be and he's worried about it. Can he transfer to the back seat without making it seem that he's rude? And if he even transfers, what excuse can he tell the taller without making it more awkward than it already is?

And then his fears become reality when they pull up to the Sawamura residence. Atsumu is now sure that Koushi was part of the plan when he fails to hide a smirk synonymous to those of Tetsurou and the others'. Koushi carries his daughter as he waves to Atsumu, getting out of the car. After muttering a quick thank you to Kiyoomi, he flashes Atsumu an apologetic look which looks unapologetic to the blond himself. 

Now it's just him and Kiyoomi.

The ride is silent but the atmosphere is raging with a never ending spiral of an abundance of thoughts. Thoughts that both refuse to voice out to one another. Was this why it didn't work out back then? Well, they didn't have a proper relationship, but if they continued, then they might've had. All that the blond is certain of is that he tried his best. He loved; he initiated conversations; he invited; he cried; he begged; he was on his knees for a specific Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Atsumu did so much. He ran his noisy mouth in every opportunity possible. He expressed a lot, he tried his best to prove to the alpha that he had a lot of love to give.

Perhaps that's why he's silent now. Five years later he doesn't start conversations if there's nothing to talk about, and more so he doesn't like talking about himself or how he's doing. He ignores Kiyoomi unless interaction is really necessary. He keeps himself isolated from the raven, also maintaining a distance that shall never be broken. Never again will he love proudly, expressing all his love for him; pouring out all his dignity just to let the world know his love for Kiyoomi.

Never again.

He loves in silence now.

Kiyoomi never knew how much he took that loud love for granted. He never knew that he would yearn for something he once dismissed. Regret always comes last, but it's the most deleterious feeling that can devour its own host.

It was by chance that the Kiyoomi's car playlist shuffles to Doors by Ben&ben. This song has a lot to say about their current situation. As soon as the adlib plays; which takes the form of the plucking of a guitar, the silence vanishes, but the tension thickens as both Atsumu and Kiyoomi recognize the song.

_"Everything is okay, I guess_

_I'm just a little tired"_

Atsumu sighs, hoping that it wasn't audible to the taller. 'A little' isn't the rightful description for the enfeeblement in him. It's tiresome— entertaining unredeemable hopes, getting swallowed up by trauma, to keep wanting to go back to the alpha. It's a never ending cycle and it's not okay. He has to break out of habit. But of course, he has to act okay for everyone around him. For Osamu, for the kids, for Kiyoomi.

But maybe his masks aren't that effective anymore.

_"No need to think about this mess_

_It goes away in time"_

There's a belief that time heals everything. Got a nasty wound? Wait for a few weeks and it'll heal. Cried over a movie? Give it a few days and it'll get out of one's head. But sometimes, not everything can be mended by time. Say for instance, heartbreak. Similar to the alpha and omega's case, the past never seems to leave them peaceful no matter how much time has passed. It's just there— creating an unbreakable barrier between the two.

Atsumu once depended on time, but he was left mistaken.

_"I know we don't mean it_

_The words unspoken"_

The words between both of them are fragile, too fragile to be exact. Like a piggy bank, it could easily be shattered into a million pieces just for the coins— the truth to spill out. They both know that no matter how casual any conversation is between them, it's clear that what's hidden will surely find a way out. In those verbally expressed words, the unspoken lingers— giving itself snippets for each man to piece together, waiting for an opportunity to show itself.

_"We can feel them in the silence_

_Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh"_

Back then, their banter used to be the noisiest— sometimes it would compare to Koutarou and Shouyou's combined noisy natures in general. They never seem to shut up and keep getting at each other's throats. Kiyoomi won't hesitate to admit that he prefers that commotion rather than the loudest thing that currently surrounds them— silence. Nothing can be heard by the ear, but the noise and the volume can be felt; the noise of a thousand emotions that ghost around them in the tight atmosphere. It's an irony that should have never existed, but the most painful one in a relationship. Relationship? Did they even have one?

_"The quiet is shaking"_

It's suffocating.

_"The thoughts we're thinking"_

They never surface. They only remain deep in the chasms of their minds.

_"In our sighs, they linger_

_Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh"_

Perhaps their sighs hold more truth than the words exchanged between them.

_"I won't ever know what's on your mind"_

The question Kiyoomi loves to ask. He can't read the blond well, so he settles in asking for an honest answer when he sees that he's clearly down. Atsumu never gives it to him though. Back then, he was deceived by his lies. But as he grows and maps out Atsumu's technique in disregarding any serious question, he can distinguish the truthfulness in his response.

_"If you'll always be hidin' behind_

_Words you never mean, just to be kind_

_Will there ever be no more of your secret doors?"_

Understanding Miya Atsumu is one humongous and complex puzzle; a continuous labyrinth of complicated and intricate passageways hidden by doors. Just as you think you know the blond, a few surprises crawl out of his sleeve. For instance, you can never see through the masks he's wearing if you don't know him well— the mask of arrogance and dominance, the mask of seductive smirks and mischievous smiles. Until he takes off these masks, you won't ever think of him as vulnerable and insecure.

Before you enter the maze which is Miya Atsumu, you'll see him as a self-centered, narcissistic brat.

But once you get stuck in the middle, the only way to get out is to realize that all his pride is a defense mechanism to conceal the ugly precariousness that never seems to let him sleep peacefully.

And once you're out, you'll never look at him in the same way again.

_"We never talk about the times_

_We don't believe we're fine"_

As the beat starts to liven up, Atsumu shifts in his seat, face glued to the window beside him. He resorts to watching the buildings swiftly pass by. Despite that, he can spot a faint hint of Kiyoomi's reflection on the glass. He sees occasional glances that make him feel trapped— guilty.

  
_"Though I'm not leavin' you behind"_

At this particular verse, Kiyoomi's gaze stays longer, indicating a message— he's created havoc in the blond, so he won't leave him until he properly heals. Kiyoomi is not going to make the same mistake of leaving again. He left the Atsumu, he left his parents, just because he wasn't ready to confront the problems on hand. A coward— he deems himself to be. But this time, he's not going to chicken out.

He's truly going to finish what he started.

  
_"We need to be true"_

And the first step to absolution between two individuals is the truth.

  
_"I won't ever know what's on your mind"_

Atsumu is daedal. He seems so simple on the outside, but in the depths where nobody can see him, he becomes intricate, convoluted— he becomes the mess he tries to hide.

Because of that, nobody can ever read what's on his mind. Osamu, his own twin, has trouble doing this sometimes. And although he might catch an idea, he never gets the full image of what Atsumu really thinks.

_"If you'll always be hidin' behind_

_Words you never mean, just to be kind_

_Will there ever be no more of your secret doors?"_

Atsumu keeps himself locked up. If he does this back then, then it's way worse right now. He doesn't want to freight anyone with his problems. But is he even aware that he's burdening them with the fact that he's not okay? He's burdening them because he's not talking about it—because he always hides.

  
_"Your secret doors"_

Atsumu grips the car door's handle, as if he's going to open it any time soon. He wants out. He doesn't want to talk about anything. He wants to disregard everything, to make Kiyoomi forget about his stifled problems. He doesn't want Kiyoomi to ask about it.

But then again, the universe is never in his favor.

What he doesn't understand is that everything happening is for his own good.

  
_"Open up your secret doors"_

Both their scents do the communication. They're both stressed and puissant; reminding both of them of the overwhelming tension. It's so tight in the auto, they're so close to one another. Atsumu's not claustrophobic, but perhaps after this he might be.

  
_"Your secret doors"_

He wants to turn off the music. His hand itches to touch the car screen's buttons and just skip to the next song. But then again, he must keep his hands to himself. This isn't his car. He should be grateful he's been given a ride even though he's never asked for it.

So, he acts just like every good omega should act like; polite and unbothered. Experience has taught him that if you have nothing good to say, then shut the fuck up. If you have thoughts of negativity, keep it in.

That's when he's learned to keep everything. That's when he's learned that his thoughts and emotions should be kept within a boundary of 'never to be voiced'.

  
_"No more of your secret"_

Kiyoomi sighs. It's getting tiring to keep circling around each other, never getting straight to the point. All this unnecessary conversation just to cover up the unanswered questions, they piss him off. And as the violin's melody gradually increases, Kiyoomi couldn't stop himself from singing the bridge of the song.

_"Time won't heal anything, if you don't surrender your lies"_

Atsumu flinches. Kiyoomi always had a gorgeous voice; husky and seductive. He loves everything about it. But right now, he can't help but feel scared. Kiyoomi sang the line with such raw emotion, that Atsumu feels culpable.

Time doesn't heal everything. Atsumu should've known better than to rely on it. Be it a matter of seconds or years, it will only bury the problem—not resolve it. The problem won't atrophy away in the earth, it will be waiting to be dug up again and resolved. No matter how deep you bury it, no matter how many years has passed, it still exists until you do something about it. Even if you try your best to forget about it; get drunk, get high, distract yourself, it's still there and nothing will change.

  
_"I won't ever know what's on your mind"_

Kiyoomi wants Atsumu to tell him.

  
_"If you'll always be hidin' behind"_

But he stays hidden. He stays away from things that should've been brought up— from problems that were buried by time and need to be dug up.

  
_"Words you never mean, just to be kind"_

His careful words are fruitless excuses. Despite his efforts, there's a crack in his masks, and Kiyoomi can see right through it.

  
_"Will there ever be no more of your secret doors?"_

But there's no crack on the door— the door that separates them both, the door that keeps them planets away from each other even as they're both seated next to one another.

_"Your secret doors_

_Open up your secret doors (time won't heal anything)"_

Kiyoomi taps the steering wheel in cue with the rhythm of the song. His eyes are kept on the road but his attention is focused on Atsumu. Atsumu, who tries to conceal himself. Atsumu, who lies and manipulates. Atsumu, who does so because it's his only way of dealing with his struggles.

Atsumu; an angel, a godsent, who was painted by the devil with the color of dishonesty.

_"Your secret doors (if you don't)_

_No more of your secret doors (surrender your lies)"_

The instrumental plays, signifying the end of the song. Although it's finished, the tension is still there. The scents are still suffocating and the words are still unsaid. The omega still hasn't looked him in the eye, and the more Kiyoomi can't tell what's on his mind if he can't see the other's trapped expressions within amber irises.

Maybe he was wrong about some things never changing. Perhaps he was deceived by Atsumu's own masks. Because clearly, the setter sitting next beside him is not the setter he used to know.

He's not the Atsumu he used to know.

"Atsum—"

"We're here." The blond forces a smile as they stop by his apartment complex. And all of the sudden, Kiyoomi's words are swallowed back down his throat. Atsumu opens the door and exits the car. He crouches down, to finally meet Kiyoomi's eyes. "Thanks for the ride, Sakusa."

The door slams shut, and Kiyoomi has only one thought amongst the others that are raging to be acknowledged;

He's really not the Atsumu he used to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna tell yall that if you have a problem with someone, there's no harm in talking it out. miscommunication is the root of a lot of problems. sure we may have our own ideals and beliefs, but we have to learn to understand it; to understand one another.
> 
> i'm going to be posting another chapter in less than a week from now (i guess?) before i eventually go semi-hiatus. why? because school is starting in a week and it's gonna be the death of me. well, holidays were fun while they lasted ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> oh and if you're from the states then please stay safe!! especially if you're bipoc/poc!! avoid going out until the situation escalates and follow extra safety measures. i'll be praying for your safety.


	23. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy endings; Atsumu knows they're not for him. Kiyoomi wants to prove him otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angsty fluff in this chap haha!! i'll keep writing angst hehe ];)

Kiyoomi is a rational person; practical and straightforward.

After the not so little beach incident, Kiyoomi knows better than to dismiss the situation. He initiated the kiss, so it's basically his fault. And not to mention, he almost put a temporary mark on Atsumu, which is just as much trouble as a permanent bond. It's not something that could be easily shrugged off, considering how indecent his actions were. 

What does he do? He tosses and turns in his bed, bothered by the aftermath of his own doings and barely catches enough 'z's to keep him functioning for the day. Even so, he forces himself to walk up early, all council members of his brain coming to a mutual agreement that he should drive another four hours back to Sendai for an apology. And if Atsumu ignores him? Then his stubbornness will finally have good use. He's not giving up on Atsumu— not when there's something stirring in him whenever he thinks about the blond.

Probably guilt.

The trip was nauseating, given how fast he drove. Remember when Osamu said he took two hours to drive from Tokyo to Sendai? Well, Kiyoomi decided to follow that suicidal time managing technique, and eventually arrived at a whopping estimate of two hours and thirty minutes. Not the very best decision, but he wants to spend more time with the blond than necessary. Truth be told, apologizing wasn't his only goal.

Once he arrives at Atsumu's door, he knocks a few times. No answer. His knuckles rasp against the door at another attempt and then he hears shuffling. The door eventually opens to reveal Atsumu, surprisingly up this early for a typical person on Sunday— rest day. The omega stares at the alpha, blinking in disbelief.

"Glad that you didn't mistake me for Osamu again." Kiyoomi cuts off the uncomfortable silence.

Atsumu shakes his head, regaining his composure. "'Samu's back 'n Hyogo, with the twins."

"Oh so they're not here yet?" The raven interrogates, possibly to keep the conversation going.

"No shit sherlock." Atsumu rolls his eyes. "They'll be arrivin' tomorrow."

"Ah, okay."

"Yeah."

Awkward.

"Is that all?" Atsumu leans by the door, raising a brow impatiently.

"No." Kiyoomi replies. "I'm going to be blunt."

Atsumu shrugs. "That's what yer good at. Go."

"I want to apologize for yesterday."

Bushy brows meet in confusion. "What didja' do yesterday?"

Kiyoomi blinks. He doesn't know if Atsumu's really stupid, or if the omega wanted to make him suffer by saying it out loud.

But Kiyoomi knows better that he deserves to suffer. He knows that and no, he's not a masochist.

He takes a deep breath. "For kissing you out of the blue..."

Before the omega can answer, he adds; "...and for almost marking you temporarily."

Heat immediately travels to Atsumu's face, giving his cheeks a cherry flush. Cute. 

"Y-yer forgiven!"

"No, I don't believe that." Kiyoomi shakes his head. He's aware that Atsumu's just saying that so that he can escape this very awkward situation. Besides, Osamu told him that when apologizing, actions are better than words.

"I want to treat you out today."

Atsumu bursts into laughter, sarcasm swimming in it. "Oh Sakusa, I can't be persuaded with money. Find a sugarbaby to go out wi' instead."

"Then we can walk around a public park? Anything that doesn't require much money."

"Yer' a mysophobe."

Kiyoomi glares at him. "My mysophobia is getting better, excuse you."

"Well, ya might wanna go out, but 'm not in the mood to do so." The blond beckons.

"It's not necessary to go out if you don't want to." The raven counters as he quickly thinks of an excuse. "We can watch— what was that? Elite?"

Immediately, Atsumu's eyes light up. "You're interested?"

Kiyoomi nods as Atsumu squints his eyes at him. "No funny business, 'kay?"

Kiyoomi nods once more as he smiles behind his mask.

Atsumu invites the raven in, reassuring him that he cleaned everything. With the kids not here, he can focus better on the chores. Kiyoomi's only impressed at how clean it is. They both sit on the couch, Atsumu on the right and Kiyoomi on the left. They sit on the very edge of their side, far far away from one another. Atsumu snatches the remote from the coffee table as he opens Netflix on the TV. 

"So, what am I to expect?" Kiyoomi asks. 

"Well, it's Spanish."

"Hmm, no problem. You can turn off the subtitles." The alpha shrugs. 

Atsumu looks unimpressed. 

"What? I can understand Spanish." 

"Yeah, but I can't." 

"You watched this already haven't you?" 

"Wouldn't hurt to rewatch." The blond shrugs, skillful fingers fiddling with the remote.

"Mm, understandable." Kiyoomi nods. "Oh and please, no dub."

"Of course." Atsumu snickers. "Dubbed shows suck."

"Yeah, agreed." Kiyoomi accedes, getting comfortable on the couch. "Anything else I should expect?" 

"Sex scenes. A lot of them." Atsumu grimaces in distaste. 

"What are you, a virgin?" 

"Clearly, y'know the answer to that." The blond smirks insolently. 

Kiyoomi only stays quiet as the shorter laughs obnoxiously. 

By episode four, it's almost 1pm. They decide to have a quick instant meal with both athletes agreeing that it wouldn't hurt to break their strict diet for today. Atsumu boils some water and they both eat cup ramen together. For the whole day they watch season one without breaks, Kiyoomi is rather interested in the series because he can relate to some of the characters (specifically the rich kids with corrupt parents). Atsumu comments here and there about his opinions on the characters, the situation and their chosen actions. The alpha would grunt in response, nodding along to opinions he agrees at and he would counter the opinions he doesn't.

Fast-forward to thirty minutes after sunset and they're at the final episode of season one. Both are fixated on the plot. Even Atsumu who, mind you, has watched the whole season already— hence, he stops commenting as he watches Polo hit Marina with a trophy for the second time. 

And as Nano finds Marina helplessly bleeding to death, the blond can't help but tear up. The song The Day Has Come plays along and it only adds to his sobbing. 

To Kiyoomi, he doesn't find Marina's death that mournful. Marina is a character who's done a lot of fucked up shit, and even her reasons can't justify all of that. A normal person with common sense would know better that she deserved to die. 

But Atsumu is no normal person, no. 

Atsumu is a good-hearted person. 

He's a person who might even sympathize with a criminal. 

"Why are you crying?" 

The setter looks at him with teary eyes, incredulous. "Why not? She died! 'n what's more, she was pregnant!" 

"That doesn't give a reason to pity her." Kiyoomi counters. "And plus, you've watched this already?" 

"Can't be helped." He sniffs as he swipes his tears away. "She could've moved to Asilah and start a family with Nano." 

"I'm really confused. Who does she want? Nano or Samuel?" 

"Both?" 

The alpha's face only scrunches. He hates infidelity. 

After the episode ends, Atsumu is still sniffing. Kiyoomi finds it weird that the omega feels pity for someone who is equivalent to a criminal. Marina stole watches and for the record, Kiyoomi's sure that she's the most fucked up in the head. And that's saying a lot since all of the characters in the series are fucked up. 

"Ya must be wonderin' what makes it so sad." Atsumu starts, face trained on the screen even as the credits play. The minimal light from the TV accentuates the dried tear tracks that run down his tanned cheeks. His eyes reflect the light, and with that, Kiyoomi can see the emotion in the highlighted moisture that coats those exquisite amber irises. 

Oh fuck. He's a pretty crier. 

The raven doesn't respond. He's too invested in Atsumu's allure to even think about the death of a messed up character. Nonetheless, Atsumu continues. "Marina's death was caused by two different kinds of love." 

Now that caught Kiyoomi's interest. "Hnn? Explain." 

"Seriously Sakusa?" Atsumu teases playfully. "I thought ya were smart." 

"Intelligence does not equal emotional experience." 

The older's mischievous grin disappears as he remembers that Kiyoomi was raised in a household that rarely let him be exposed to emotions. "'M sorry. Was kinda insensitive of me, wasn't it?" 

"That's okay." Kiyoomi shrugs. Then, he turns to the other with a meaningful look. "You seem to have enough experience for both of us." 

Atsumu's heart skips a beat. What a pathetic reaction— the blond thinks to himself. 

He decides to dismiss it and explain. Kiyoomi can learn a thing or two from him about love. Well, Kiyoomi is the exact reason why Atsumu knows love so he's basically teaching himself— with Atsumu just being a medium in doing so. 

"The first was of course, was Marina's. She loved Nano very much to the point where she stole the watches for him to pay his debt in prison. That wasn't the only reason. She stole them so that they can move to Asilah and start a family. And as y'know, the watches were the reason for her death." 

Kiyoomi nods at the interpretation. It was basic common sense— she did all that for Nano.

"Those watches were actually a big deal if ya consider that she had to turn against her corrupt family to steal them." Atsumu continues. 

Marina may not be the most justifiable character, but she did one thing that Kiyoomi will remember her for; she rebelled against her family. She reminds him of himself. Both never wanted to be children of corrupt individuals who climbed to the top by means of amorality.

"Speakin' ‘bout the watches, the other love that caused her death was Polo's love for Carla. Polo did everythin' to get her back after their relationship fell apart, and he thought that retrievin' the watches and givin' it back to her would do so. When Marina walked away along with the watch, Polo thought that t'was his last chance to snatch it so he could reconcile with Carla. And in a fit of panic and rage of losing her, he hit Marina with the trophy." 

Now that Atsumu mentioned it, it connects everything and leaves no holes in the plot. Kiyoomi only blinks. The explanation was so simple, yet so meaningful at the same time. Both the victim and the murderer had a shared motive: love. 

"Wow." 

"Surprised much?" 

Kiyoomi nods. "That actually makes sense." 

"Of course." Atsumu smiles in triumph. "Sumi and Kitsu are smart, whom did they get that from?" 

"Me." Kiyoomi answers immediately, shameless. 

"Asshole." 

They both share a laugh. The motive didn't need any Einstein-like thinking to be found. Love really makes us do crazy things— it drives us crazy in general. But other than their motive, Marina and Polo have one thing in common: they didn't get a happy ending with the people they love. Nano will forever grieve over the death of Marina and their unborn child while Carla will find another man to replace the same old, failing love she had with Polo. 

Atsumu wonders that if Kiyoomi loved him and he were to continue moving overseas, what would be the alpha's reaction? Would he never move on from Atsumu just like Nano? Or would he find another just like Carla? 

The blond shrugs off the thought. He will never know because Kiyoomi doesn't love him anyways. 

"Wanna have dinner before startin' season 2?" Atsumu asks, getting up. 

Kiyoomi scoffs. "Better not be something instant again." 

The omega only chuckles. "I'm aware of what's healthy for both me and you, Sakusa." 

"Hmm, what are you thinking of then?" 

"Curry." 

"Okay, curry." 

Atsumu makes his way to the kitchen as he tells Kiyoomi to start watching season two. The alpha himself wants to help but the older insists to leave the cooking to him. Once dinner is cooked, episode one is just about to end. They decide to eat on the coffee table as the credits roll by and episode two starts.

By episode four, one of Atsumu's favorite scenes is being played. The one where Carla shows up to Samuel's and they eat left-over macaroni together. In normal circumstances, it shouldn't be the least bit intimate or worthwhile, but the blond is helpless to characters' romantic development (since he's a fool for love and he never experienced being loved back) hence he can't stop the giddiness that overwhelms him.

"I'm quite lonely and I think you are too." Carla says as she watches Samuel, all with affection in her golden eyes— eyes so similar to Atsumu's. 

"So we could be lonely together." She finishes as Samuel looks at her; his face shows the same adoration Carla has for him.

Kiyoomi glances at Atsumu beside him, a genuine smile resting on the latter's face. "Why are you smiling?"

"I ship them." Atsumu answers, a dopey smile still on his face.

"I want someone who'll agree to be lonely with me— someone to be lonely with. And I also want someone who'll eat my shit-tastin' mac 'n cheese." The blond chuckles fondly.

Kiyoomi can't help but smile, feeling so tender with Atsumu. "That's a lot of things you want."

"Yeah, but those are simple things." Atsumu says. "People ask for diamonds and million-dollar sports cars, but all we really want is to be lonely with someone we love. Five star meals aren't necessary, terrible macaroni is enough." He ends with a laugh.

The smile on Kiyoomi's face never fades. Atsumu's laugh is deep but mood-lightening, the cheery expression on his face will make you want to fall in love with him.

He's an angel.

"Well." Kiyoomi starts. "I'm eating your curry. And I'm lonely with you. Do you think you have what you want right now?"

The setter tenses, eyes widening as he tries to stop the faint blush that travels to his cheeks. He turns to the younger and sees a gorgeous curve of lips, eyes crinkled and dark eyes in its brightest. It was then that Atsumu realizes that Kiyoomi's eyes aren't actually a deep shade of black, instead he sees the slightest hints of the darkest green color he's ever seen.

He can't help but fall in love all over again.

Atsumu shakes his head and also realizes that Kiyoomi insulted his curry. "Hey! Ya meanin' to say that my curry is as terrible as Samuel's mac and cheese?"

The raven only laughs at how cute Atsumu's reaction is; flushed with an adorable shade of pink and an equally-adorable pout. He looks like a baby when he's caught off-guard. 

"Hmm, it's not bad. But it could be better." Kiyoomi teases.

"Yer' cookin' your own dinner the next time we do this!"

The spiker's laugh is cut off by the setter's invitation. He turns to Atsumu, eyes hopeful. "Next time?"

Atsumu's eyes widen one more time. Though the shock due to the realization of what he said is short-lived as his expression changes. His eyes seem to be delighted at the thought of 'next time' as they shine a lustrous gold (courtesy of the only source of light in the dim room; the TV). He wears another promising smile— genuine, unlike his masks that conceal what he truly feels.

"Yeah, I said that right. Next time."

Kiyoomi's heart feels weird. It suddenly beats as if he's played a whole match with five sets without break— it's fast and if he didn't know better, he'd think he was approaching a heart attack.

But because he's been forced to read the cringy wattpad romance stories Motoya suggested to him (seriously, that idiot has money to buy actual romance novels, why did he even bother reading a book online with preposterous grammar and confusing dialogues?), he could assume what this feeling is.

It might be love.

But who is he to say that?— when he's never experienced romantic love before. As much as possible, he doesn't want to go guessing what he's feeling because he might actually be experiencing the early signs of a stroke.

But nobody looks at him the same way Atsumu does.

That's enough of a reason to trust that it's love. 

\--- 

Around 9pm, they both decide to create a makeshift bed in the living room, right in front of the flat screen TV. After they were sure that the floor was clean, Atsumu hoarded a number of comforters and blankets and arranged them like a picnic blanket (not without setting a mat first). It's just like a fluffy picnic— except there isn't any food and it's indoors. Not to mention, there's an abundance of pillows scattered around. The whole thing is just so comfy and domestic. They resume watching, positions similar to how they sat at the couch— Atsumu to the right and Kiyoomi to the left, a reasonable distance separating them.

Despite the distance, they still feel close to one another.

"Everyone deserves a second chance." Polo says as he hands Cayetana the envelope containing a generous amount of money.

Kiyoomi reflects on this. Does he really deserve a second chance like Cayetana? After what he's done? It's more than just frauding around— he literally gave trauma to both Atsumu and their kids. He's ruined a lot of lives just because of his consuming fear— it's selfish of him, really. 

"Do you believe that?" Kiyoomi asks out of the blue. He's wearing yellow pajamas to which the omega made fun of ("Ya dress like a kid." "As if you didn't have this color in your head back then." "Hey! The girls loved it!"). Before Atsumu set the makeshift bed, they both took a bath and changed into more comfortable clothes.

"In what?" Atsumu is wearing a pastel red pajama. He lifts a brow in curiosity at the question.

"That everyone deserves a second chance?" 

Atsumu stays silent, seemingly in shock with the sudden question. Nevertheless, he answers. "Of course."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason why?" Atsumu turns to him with a small smile, tiny but it speaks volumes. "It's only human of us to fuck up. 'Sides, we all have our reasons."

"What if our reasons were selfish?"

"We're all selfish, Sakusa." The setter acknowledges. "It can't be helped. We're all selfish in our own ways."

"How are you selfish?" Kiyoomi narrows his eyes at him in disbelief. Atsumu is anything but selfish.

Atsumu thinks that Kiyoomi should know better. He should know how much the setter dreams every night, of a parallel existence where Kiyoomi returns his feelings— of an alternate universe where he gets to wake up beside the spiker— of a different lifetime where death can't part them for another lifetime to come. Atsumu is selfish for endlessly hoping for Kiyoomi to love him back.

Just like Marina, Polo and Nadia, he was made selfish because of love.

"I'm plenty selfish." The blond chuckles bitterly without elaborating. Then, he returns the question. "You? How are ya selfish?"

"You know already." Kiyoomi shrugs, guilt lacing his tone. Veraciously, Atsumu catches what he's reffering to- the reaction five years ago that caused them to drift apart.

"It's not your fault. You panicked, Okay?"

"And my reason was selfish."

"Trauma is not a selfish reason. Both you and I know that." Atsumu clarifies. "Selfishness can be avoided. Trauma cannot— it's a fear that leaves us defenseless."

Both were affected by different kinds of trauma. It resembles a domino, really. Because of the suffocating pressure and affluenza Kiyoomi's been through as a kid, he never considered the pregnancy— hence leading to the start of another emotional damage.

With the alpha's silence, Atsumu sighs. "Everyone deserves a second chance, I've seen a lot of people who fucked up big time because of their selfishness. Where are they now? They're livin' their second chances with the people who helped heal 'em."

The shorter's mind lingers on Tobio, Tetsurou and Osamu. They made inconsiderate decisions that affected their mates in a variety of ways. At first, Atsumu thought that they shouldn't be given another chance, but perhaps it's better to forgive. And Atsumu is learning a lot about forgiveness right now.

And perhaps Kiyoomi can live his second chance with Atsumu?

No. Atsumu laughs ironically to himself. The alpha doesn't love him, why is he still wishfully thinking? The lingering hope will only break him in the end.

"Why are you laughing?" Kiyoomi asks.

"I was hopin' for the impossible again. Silly me." The omega lets out a pained chuckle.

"What's on your mind? Will you tell me?"

Atsumu considers doing so for a while. But then Kiyoomi can't know that the blond is dreaming of a future together with him. It might creep the alpha out and he might seem too ambitious. Atsumu can dream all he wants but he knows his limits when it comes to saying it out loud.

"Somethings are better left unsaid." Atsumu only says. "But Kiyoomi, as long as you live then you'll always have second chances. It's never too late to start over."

It's never too late to start over.

Kiyoomi will bear that in mind.

\---

"How do you know that you're in love?" 

The alpha asks when he gathered enough courage to do so. For the past few episodes, he couldn't focus on the plot— not when Atsumu's smile is the only thing in his mind, not when Atsumu gives him too much hope, not when Atsumu teaches him a lot about love, not when Atsumu lays beside him, brows furrowed as he invests in the episode. The mentioned omega turns to him, a bit bewildered by the question. Then, a smirk rests on his face. "Oh? Is there someone ya think ya love?" 

"Yes." Kiyoomi does not hesitate, says bluntly. "There is." 

The grin falls from Atsumu's face as the feeling of defeat crashes upon him. 

"Tell me more about them." He asks, hiding the painful feeling with a mask of interest in the subject. 

"Well, they're the kindest person I've met." Kiyoomi says with a beautiful smile. "They're very considerate of others, even if it may not appear so." 

"Ah, is that so?" Atsumu clenches his fist underneath the comforter he dragged from his bedroom.

"Mhm, I have trouble reading them sometimes. They're very troublesome and can sometimes be a pain in the ass." The raven laughs. "But maybe that's what's so fascinating about them, they always want the best for everyone else, even though they act like an asshole."

Atsumu watches as Kiyoomi rants about the person who caught his interest. Atsumu watches with want— he wants Kiyoomi to talk about him like that— with so much emotion and yearning on his face. He wants to be the reason Kiyoomi lays so many nights awake. 

He wants to be the person Kiyoomi lives his second chance with. 

"So," Kiyoomi starts, gaze searching and serious. "How do you know that you're in love?" 

Atsumu gulps as he pushes the feeling further down, making sure it doesn't stain the mask he's currently wearing. "Gee, tha's kinda' a hard question."

"That should be no problem to you."

"I'm flattered!" 

Atsumu holds his chest where his heart is located, feigning a gloating reaction. He makes it seem as if his ego fills his heart but in reality, it's actually aching with the spiker's confession of the person he likes.

"Actually nevermind. I take it back." Kiyoomi looks away.

Atsumu laughs, as if he isn't hurting. "Haha, okay I'll answer! Don't sulk, pouts only look cute on me."

As much as Kiyoomi wants to retort, he can't because it's true. Pouts look the best on Atsumu.

Every expression looks best on Atsumu.

Kiyoomi curses his thoughts. Damn his heart and those surfacing feelings. 

Atsumu puts his pointer finger to his bottom lip, like a little boy in thought. Kiyoomi's frustrated at how the blond is unwarily messing with him. Can he stop being cute for one split second? Just one? Kiyoomi's heart can't take the visual.

"It's kinda natural, Sakusa. If they make ya feel good things that ya haven't felt before, then I reckon that's it. If the urge to just take care of 'em, or make 'em feel like the most loved person in the world is strong and it never goes away, that's it. We all find out in different ways but what I could suggest is to trust what yer feelin'. Don't push the thought away, don't doubt yourself."

Atsumu flashes a toothy grin. Something's weird about that smile. Nevermind that Kiyoomi notices how the blond's voice resembles water— amorphous. It's shaky, as if he's going to cry.

"Okay, I trust you with that." 

"When are ya plannin' on confessin'?"

"I have to figure out whether I love them or not first."

"Oh? Then assumin' ya love them." Atsumu repeats the question. "When are ya plannin' on confessin'?"

Kiyoomi spares a glance at him. "When the time is right."

Atsumu hopes when the time is right, he's already out of the country. 

Because the thought of Kiyoomi with someone else renders him weak.

How much more for a physical image of Kiyoomi holding hands, sharing kisses and smiling genuinely with that special someone?

It will be the death of Atsumu.

Surely the person the alpha's referring to isn't him. He said that this person is the kindest one he's ever known. Atsumu thinks he isn't the kindest one he's known, especially with how selfish he is— wanting something that isn't meant for him; Kiyoomi's love.

Love has really made him selfish.

"I think I gotta' go take a dump." Atsumu chuckles. "If the episode ends, just proceed to the next. I've already watched it so no worries."

Kiyoomi nods, a bit confused on the setter's sudden change of behaviour. Atsumu smiles as he makes his way to the bathroom. 

Once he locks the door, his eyes tear up as he faces the mirror, grip tightening on the sink as if it'll ease the pain. He thinks that nothing in him is beautiful. He thinks it's pathetic of him for wanting to stand out, therefore dying his hair blond. He thinks it's pathetic how common his eye color is, therefore making it uninteresting. He thinks it's pathetic how he isn't like the typical dainty omegas; an omega as graceful as Keiji, an omega as cheerful as Shouyou, an omega as calm and sophisticated as Kei, and an omega as charismatic as Rintarou.

He always has to be so extra; his outgoing personality is extra, his masculinity is extra, his overthinking is extra and his love is too extra.

Why did he ever think that Kiyoomi would love him back?

_Pathetic._

The only ones who cry because they don't get what they want are children. Perhaps he's one now; crying abjectly on his bathroom floor, moments away from shattering the mirror. He can't help but feel disappointed with his reflection— a faux golden boy with a golden tongue and an unrequited love. He can't wait for his hair to grow out of platinum blond— a reminiscent evidence of his younger self's hopefulness, of the naïve teenager who once thought he'd be an alpha, of the carefree player who once vowed to be the best omega athlete, of the Miya Atsumu that once believed his name stands for love.

Miya Atsumu— Love.

What a twisted irony.

\---

Atsumu spends almost half an hour, sitting against the toilet— nursing another overthinking session where his thoughts make him question his self worth. They repeatedly ask things like _'why are you so unlovable?'_ , _'why are you so difficult?'_ , _'can you be the parent the kids will be proud of for years to come?'_. They all overwhelm Atsumu.

But eventually, he needs to return to the living room. The alpha might be waiting for him so that he can proceed to the next episode, even when Atsumu told him not to do so. He doesn't need to wait for Atsumu.

To his surprise, he finds the living room dark, the only light is provided by the moon's rays. Seems like Kiyoomi finished season two already.

Kiyoomi is ethereal, basked underneath silver, face relaxed as he snores softly. Atsumu smiles. He wishes he was his. He would trade anything just to curl up beside him, to be held by strong arms— to feel the warmth of the alpha he loves.

"Hey..." Atsumu crouches near the sleeping Kiyoomi. He lifts up a pale hand with slender fingers, caressing it as if it's the most delicate thing in the world. "I never got to tell ya this but thank you. For not takin' advantage of me durin' my heat. It's been months but I only realized now how hard it was for ya to control."

Kiyoomi's hand is cold, just like how he usually is. Again metaphorically and physically, Kiyoomi is a cold person. But why is it that all Atsumu feels is warmth?

This time however, the warmth is not lust-induced. Rather, it's a warmth caused by pure intentions— caused by love. He loves everything about the alpha. The way he still remains true to what is right despite growing up being taught in the wrong, the way he always makes sure to finish things— and finishes them with no less perfection, the way his smile says a plenitude despite being a rare occurrence, and possibly the way that he's fun to annoy. Atsumu only chuckles. He misses the old time, the old them. But old or new, he'll never stop loving Kiyoomi. Even if it hurts him— even if it kills him.

He spends his time with the resting hand; his fingers trace each bony knuckle, each mole and each vein. He wants to memorize the alpha, something he never considered doing so in the past due to the thought that nothing will change; it's just both of them and their playful banter until they fall in love. But as the omega grows older, he realizes that life is not a fairytale, and happy endings are not meant for everyone.

"I forgive you." He starts quietly. "Your childhood trauma is what stopped ya, right? You were afraid, and lost. Ya thought ya couldn't be a father back then, hm?"

"But Kiyoomi, you are not a tool. You are so much more. Ya have so much love to give."

Atsumu decides that he shouldn't be selfish. Kiyoomi has to experience love, even if it's not with him. He feels his chest go tight at the thought, and his jaw tense. Despite that, he does all he can to rid the thought. He has to be supportive. He has to stop being selfish.

He won't let his selfishness stain the meaning of his name. He won't let selfishness overcome love.

"I want a lot of things from ya, but I'll only ask one: fall in love, Omi. I want your first love to be your last. I don't want ya to feel heartbreak. It's the most painful out of all feelings."

"Confess to that person. Tell them how much ya—" His voice cracks, but he refrains from crying. "—ya love 'em. I want ya to be happy."

Then, he leans down and presses a kiss to the raven's forehead. In a small, hushed voice, he whispers. "Why? Because I love you."

"Is that a confession?"

Atsumu freezes.

Kiyoomi's lips turn upwards as his eyes flutter open. The moonlight that creeps through the window shines through his dark eyes, revealing the mysterious shade of green that hides within it.

"Y-ya were awake!"

"Nah. I woke up when you started talking."

Atsumu covers his face with both hands as the feeling of melancholy is replaced with embarrassment.

Atsumu thinks he's a mess. But Kiyoomi thinks otherwise. With his soft disheveled hair, oversized silk pajamas that fold almost everywhere (for a fleeting moment, Kiyoomi wonders how he'll look like in the alpha's shirts), and that pose that shouldn't look cute for a six-foot man— it's almost impossible to not hug the omega right now, right there. A feeling swells in him; the need to protect Atsumu.

"But to answer your question..." The setter starts as he removes his hands to reveal a soft expression; his eyes crinkled as his pupils reflect the glow of the moonlight and his winning smile could make the spiker forget about all his worries.

"...yes, that was a confession."

Kiyoomi's breath hitches. A swell of emotions spiraling in him, but he can only focus on one; hope.

"Oh. I don't know what to say."

"I didn't expect you to say anythin' though. Ya asked, so I answered." Atsumu shrugs. "But now ya hafta' answer my question."

"What's your question?"

"Do ya believe in happy endings?" Atsumu looks at him; gaze serious as he searches Kiyoomi.

"Hmm." The alpha takes the time to think. "I guess so."

Atsumu blinks. For someone who's always on the negative and thrives logically and philosophically, he didn't expect the alpha to play along with these delusional phantasms of naive people who religiously believe that everything will end well.

"I guess you do too?"

"No." The blond shakes his head. "They might exist, but they're not for everyone."

"I thought you said that we can live our second chances without regrets." Kiyoomi starts. "Isn't that a happy ending?"

Atsumu chuckles. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Then why don't you believe in them?"

A part of Atsumu asks himself the same question— why doesn't he believe in them?

But the opposing side of his head keeps replaying all the times where he prayed for a happy ending, only for it to end badly. He wants to tell Kiyoomi how not everyone is favored by the universe, not everyone is lucky enough to have a happy ending.

But again, he doesn't say a word about it. He keeps it deep in his mind, labelling it another reason to cry about once the happiness fades away.

"I once believed in them. But I stopped a long time ago."

"Do you..." Kiyoomi starts slowly. "Want to believe in them again?"

Does he? Of course he does. But how can he when he can only accept them if Kiyoomi's there, holding his hand. How can he when the only happy ending to him is Kiyoomi's kiss on his forehead?

How can he when his happy ending is Kiyoomi?

Atsumu lets out a shaky breath, a laugh that never was. "I don't have a reason to do so."

And then silence. The alpha was never good at comforting people in the first place.

_'I'll give him another reason to love again'_. He recalls his statement of bravery to Osamu; a declaration filled with a promise that's never meant to be broken.

And then he adds to himself; _I'll be his happy ending._

"Hey Atsumu."

"Hmm?"

"Love or loved?"

"Huh?"

"Do you love me or loved me?" Kiyoomi asks bluntly, although he conceals a nervous gulp.

Atsumu takes the time to think. He almost settles in telling the truth, but it might be an obstacle for both of them— especially that the raven doesn't feel the same. He could try lying, but then again, Atsumu has lied a lot of times. He should be guilty because of his pretty tongue and the lies he uttered without hesitation.

"That's up for you to find out."

And as Atsumu lays beside him, a few pillows apart, he comes to the conclusion that the blond loved him. With everything he has done, is there a person who'll remain loving him after what happened? Again, who would want to go back to something that broke them? Time won't heal anything, but aside from problems, a lot of things fade within the ticks of a clock. Maybe along with the past, Atsumu's love for him became just a memory.

He turns to the clock in the living room— 2:29 in the morning. He has to sleep because he'll be traveling back to Tokyo later on today. Even so, he doesn't want to end his time with Atsumu.

As if his mind was on display, Atsumu says softly, "Ya know ya gotta sleep, right Omi?"

He might have imagined the nickname, but who could blame him? He was too much at bliss.

"You just want to stare at me while I'm sleeping." Kiyoomi jokes, failing to stifle a yawn.

"Your actions contradict your statement." Atsumu chuckles. "Good night sleepyhead."

"Hmm, goodnight."

Before Kiyoomi falls asleep, one last thought appeals to him.

_I'll make you fall in love with me again, 'Tsumu._

\---

The moon is gone. Atsumu is sure of that due to the sunshine that paints his body golden. A golden boy, made even more golden with the light of day. He can't see it, but he can feel it.

He just woke up, but he refuses to open his eyes. He might be met with an empty sight, where Kiyoomi left to travel back to Tokyo. If he won’t find the alpha beside him, then it's better to stay asleep— if he can pretend that Kiyoomi's still beside him, even for just a few more hours, then he'll gladly do it.

But their makeshift bed is not cold, it's warm— like the sun that showers him with aureate hues.

He's laying on his side, and he can feel his arm rest on something with slow, repetitive movements. Once he becomes more awake, the smell of breakfast greets him. Despite that, he can hear soft snores around.

This is unusual. Atsumu thinks as he finally opens his eyes.

The sight he sees makes him think he should've opened his eyes earlier.

Sumi is underneath his arm, laying on her side, sleeping as her curls tickle his nose. Kitsu is beside her, also asleep, but his limbs are more spread out. And next to the little raven is his father, Kiyoomi. The alpha has the same position as Atsumu, his arm protectively wrapping around his son as his fingers brush against the nightgown of his daughter.

This is the first time the four of them ever slept in the same setting.

Atsumu feels the warmth of a family.

His heart aches. Oh how badly he wants that.

"I should ask why was Sakusa-san with ya when we arrived but looks like yer still processin' the situation yourself."

The omega turns his head to find Osamu, leaning on the living room doorway, a spatula on his right hand.

"'Samu." Atsumu rubs his eyes, sits up. "Wha' time s' it?"

"Almost ten." The alpha responds, throwing the spatula up and catching it without effort. "We arrived around four in the mornin' to find you both asleep, here in the living room, with pillows and blankets scattered around. Sumi and Kitsu immediately went in between ya and slept. They were really tired."

"'Samu..."

"Hm?"

"Is this how ya wake up everyday? With Rin and Rumiko beside ya?" Atsumu asks with a shaky voice. "Does it always feel this warm?"

Osamu's gaze softens. Atsumu always dreamed of this when they were kids; he always dreamed of the domestic life of a family. He always dreamed of a happy family in general. And he finally gets to experience it today, be it temporary only.

"Yeah." The alpha starts. "Yeah 'Tsumu, yeah..."

"Feels nice... s' nice..." Atsumu says quietly, afraid he might wake up any of the kids or Kiyoomi. "Like a happy ending..."

"Stay, 'Tsumu." Osamu pleads. "And ya might get to wake up like this everyday."

At the mention of staying, his eyes drift to the calendar sitting peacefully on the wall.

4 months left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's confirmed that sakusa is not a germaphobe, but damn i started the story with that idea, so sakusa will just have to be a germaphobe here lol.
> 
> next update might be 2-3 weeks from now. im not really sure haha. in the meantime pls send me questions and liven up my cc!! (@uno_dos_thles) or, you can find it pinned on my twt @one_two_thlee
> 
> i hope i managed to play with yalls feelings in this chapter hehe. i'll see you in the next one!!


	24. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu is the only definition of gold that never seems to tire Kiyoomi. But again, Atsumu has a gold tongue.
> 
> Miya Atsumu — A man of love and lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so to those wondering what happened to my twitter, i deacted it. why? because it was getting too distracting and after failing chemistry (no, i did not pull out a jessica-mr. wilson) i am now on total concentration on my studies. it's just that my concentration is becoming shit and i can barely focus anymore and maladaptive daydreaming is getting to me and i might have adhd but my uncle said im delusional like the sakuatsu stan i am and-
> 
> okay i'll stop spewing nonsense. pls enjoy this chapter sugarcube!!!

Two months after meeting the kids, Chiyoko insists on having them spend a day at her place. Well of course, it wouldn't be a Chiyoko thing if there wasn't a hidden motive. What she's actually planning on, is to get his brother and Atsumu to spend time with each other. Getting to learn more about the twins is a sweet bonus.

As Atsumu hugs the children goodbye, Chiyoko approaches Kiyoomi with a dangerous smirk. She inches closer to the younger's ear and then whispers. "Make sure to entice him, alright? If you don't, then I won't hesitate to make him mine."

Of course. Both Kiyoomi and Chiyoko are alphas, and with an omega as prepossessing and ravishing as Atsumu, competition between those two possessive siblings can't be avoided.

Kiyoomi's face scrunches in distaste. "You have a husband."

"I'm aware. But it wouldn't hurt to be a two timer, wouldn't it?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

The raven's expression only worsens. There's nothing he hates more in the world than infidelity. The thought of someone committing to another, and that other just not taking the commitment seriously to the point where they do intimate things with someone else, disgusts Kiyoomi to no end.

Chiyoko laughs obnoxiously. "I'm kidding! I would never cheat."

Before Kiyoomi can respond to that though, the brunette continues. "But then again, Atsumu-kun mentioned something about a suitor, right?"

And then there's the suitor. The thought completely ruins his mood.

"How are you so sure that his suitor is your business partner's brother?"

"Well," Chiyoko purses her lips, eyes rolling in thought. "When Atsumu-kun said his last name was Miya, something clicked in me. I remember how that miss fancy-bangs kept bragging that the omega her brother was eyeing is the twin of Onigiri Miya's owner. Hell, she even considered proposing a business deal to the said shop just so he can get closer to Atsumu."

"Sounds troublesome. But he should know that Atsumu can't be charmed by money." Kiyoomi scoffs.

"They're probably thinking that if it benefits his brother, then Atsumu will do anything."

"That's... not a lie though." The raven speculates.

"Hmm seems like miss fancy-bangs is finally using her head." Chiyoko grins mischievously, making sure that the mentioned woman sneezes despite the four hours of distance between them.

"Speaking of miss fancy-bangs." Kiyoomi turns to his sister. "You're still in love with her, right?"

The older is deemed speechless with the question. She avoids Kiyoomi's eyes of ink that scan her every tremble, as if he can read all her hesitations. "This isn't about me, Kiyo."

"You dodged the question."

Chiyoko only sighs. "So what if I am? I can't do anything about it anyways. I'm married by force, she's probably dating someone by choice. What was buried in the past can't be dug up again. We're reduced to nothing more than business rivals."

The brunette fell in love with a beta during her university days. Her parents didn't approve of the relationship. One was because her lover was not an omega and two, because the beta's family business wasn't reputable enough. As the stubborn teenagers they were, they continued in secrecy, that was until Kirin told their parents for no specific reason. Up until now, Kiyoomi still doesn't get why his older brother would sabotage something so important to their eldest.

And as the years passed by, the beta's family business started to grow until it was on par with the Sakusa's. They began to rival each other; to get on each other's nerves every time they were within a reasonable distance within one another— as if they hadn't made love at the same bed during their years of cluelessness and discovery.

Lovers turned enemies.

And something one-sided— unrequited.

Currently they are partners for an ongoing project. Despite that, they can't help but compete and compete and compete— a desire, hunger for exceeding the other. And now that their brothers are rivalling for the same person, the desire only strengthens.

"Kiyo."

"Hm?"

"Don't end up like me and Hanae— with no happy ending to our fairytale." Chiyoko requests flatly, a direct inversion with her happy-go-lucky persona.

Kiyoomi suddenly remembers Atsumu's talk about happy endings. Maybe he was right— they aren't for everyone.

"Our mother lost in love, I lost in love, I don't want the same to happen to you."

And then Kiyoomi recalls the same fate their mother shares with Chiyoko. He only nods, not knowing what to answer. "Mhm."

"I want you to land a Kirin."

Kiyoomi laughs, but rolls his eyes. "Land a Kirin?"

"Seems like Kirin's the only one lucky enough to spend his forever with his beloved. I want you to prove that wrong." Chiyoko explains. The despondency of her failed love now forgotten as she jokes about their other sibling's life that's being envied upon.

"Yeah, nee-san. I will."

\---

After bidding goodbye, Kiyoomi and Atsumu exit the insanely expensive condo unit of one particular Sakusa Chiyoko. According to her, she's only staying in Tokyo for the next six months due to a business matter. Her real home (and where her husband and kids currently reside) is at Hokkaido. Sheesh, now that's far.

"Where do you wanna go?" Kiyoomi asks.

"Huh?"

"You aren't planning on returning to Sendai yet, are you?"

"If I could, then I—"

"I think it's a hassle." The alpha says like the blunt personality he has. "To go back there and return here to fetch the twins on the same day. All in all it's a nine-hour trip. You're gonna get tired."

Atsumu considers this. He can't stick around with Osamu as of the moment—it's at this time of the month that the shop gets really busy). Atsumu is also very clumsy; although he can cook, he makes a mess everywhere in the kitchen. Osamu had to kick him out once for his terrible and totally unhelpful attempt in 'helping'.

Having nowhere else to kill time, he asks Kiyoomi. "Where’dya think we should go?"

"I know a place."

\---

Of course it had to be here.

The place that holds so many bittersweet memories.

His eyes take in the familiar structure of the MSBY gym, rather unsure of whether to enter or not.

"You're not coming?" Kiyoomi asks when he sees Atsumu frozen in place. The omega's internal monologue ends as the question slips. He shakes his head. "I don't have gym clothes ya dumbass! F'ya informed me 'forehand, then I might've had!"

"You can borrow mine, I have some spare." The taller shrugs. They enter the gym and before Atsumu can count to three, two radiant balls of energy come dashing towards him.

"TSUM-TSUM!!!" Koutarou hugs as if there's no tomorrow.

"Atsumu-san, Atsumu-san, Atsumu-san!" Shouyou literally jumps around as if he's not in his late twenties.

Both athletes attack the blond, wrestling him to the floor. Kiyoomi cringes at how unsanitary their actions are. Atsumu only laughs though. It's been a month since he last saw these guys. He ruffles both their fluffy hairs, despite being drenched in sweat. Feels good to visit his old home—the jackals like this.

"That's enough. Give the man a break will you?"

Atsumu's head turns at the familiar voice. He immediately sits up as Koutarou and Shouyou let go. Indeed, he sees Shuugo Meian hovering above him, a big toothy grin resting on his smug face.

Indeed, it really feels like visiting home.

"Cap'n!" Atsumu gets up as quickly as possible and bows incredibly low.

"No Miya. I ain't captain anymore." Meian laughs, mood-lightening. "Don't you think I should be retired as an athlete by now?"

It takes a few moments for Atsumu to process the reveal. Still not getting it, he asks; "Then what are ya doin' 'ere? Visitin'?"

The older laughs. "No silly, I'm coach!"

_Eh? Coach?_

_Oh! Coach!_

"Coach!" Atsumu beams, repeating like a toddler twisting his tongue, spewing his first words.

"That's right, 'm coach." Meian giggles.

The setter jumps around in the same manner Shouyou was doing so not long ago. He keeps reiterating the word 'coach' as he circles around Meian. Not soon, Shouyou and Koutarou follow— like vultures flying around their prey except they're accolading their new coach in the dumbest way possible. Kiyoomi watches from a distance. He sighs, not surprised if his hair goes grey because of this single encounter, but he smiles as well. He smiles because it reminds him of a time when the four of them were still sharing the same brain cell— when the four of them were considered MSBY's generation of monsters.

Soon, realization dawns upon Atsumu, resulting in him to halt his childish actions. "Wait? Then who's captain?" Without hesitating, he looks around the gym, in search of a light-haired libero. "I don't see Wan-san here."

"Me! I'm captain!" Bokuto continues jumping around like the sun he is— a sun filled with boundless energy sufficient enough to light up galaxies.

"Huh? I thought Wan-san's next in line?" Atsumu scans the four Jackals, waiting for some sort of elaboration to where Inunaki yeeted himself on.

"Ah, so you haven't heard?" Shouyou literally spins towards the older omega, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

"Heard what?"

"Well, before you left, Adriah was secretly courting Inunaki-kun. After you did, Inunaki answered him and they became a thing. Not mates yet though." Meian explains.

"So there was romance within the team all along?!" Atsumu exclaims rather dramatically. "I could've been their wingman, why didn't I know?"

Shouyou narrows his eyes at Atsumu, as if there wasn't anything going on between him and Kiyoomi back then.

"Let me finish!" Meian scolds— all without heat, and laughs afterwards. Such a jolly coach, Atsumu thinks. He would love to have Meian as his coach. Can he bring him to Vancouver as well? "They dated for three years before they bonded. When Adrian-kun retired and was to return to his home country, Inunaki went with him."

"Where is Adriah-san's home country?"

"Canada."

"Hm? I thought he was from Denmark?" Atsumu inquires.

"He played for Denmark before coming to Japan." Meian enlightens simply. "He was born and raised in Toronto. So, he returned there with Inunaki. I heard Inunaki still plays, and he plays for the local team there."

Atsumu beams. "Awesome! I might be playing against 'im!"

Meian raises a brow at the statement. The blond takes the signal and starts to explain. "I'll be playin' for Vancouver a few months from now!"

The captain-turned-coach lights up, proud of his ex-teammate for landing a spot overseas. "Really? You might get the chance to visit their son! He was born just over a year ago."

"That's excitin'!"

While Meian expresses how happy he is for Atsumu, he wonders why the others aren't reacting to the revelation. He decides to turn to the three jackals who stand behind the setter. "Hey, why—"

None of them looked happy about this. Especially Kiyoomi.

Knowing better than to dwell on the reason behind this and to stick his nose on other people's businesses, he clears his throat and spins a ball. A wicked smirk creeps up onto his face "C'mon Miya, let's see if you still got it."

"Are ya underestimatin' me cap— I mean coach?" Atsumu returns the smirk. "Just like everyone else, I've only improved."

"Let's see about that."

And then they play volleyball. Although Meian will never admit it (because it might fuel Atsumu's ego), the setter really has improved. It's no surprise how his talents get recognized by the other side of the world. As they continue playing, he also makes another observation; Kiyoomi's playing harsher than usual. His spikes are deadlier and his receives are quicker. He also doesn't look at anyone in the eye, especially Meian himself and Atsumu.

Once they finish playing for the whole morning, Kiyoomi's mood only lightens when Atsumu approaches him. "It's really nice to play with you again, Sakusa."

_Sakusa?_

_Not Omi?_

Meian watches with disbelief as Atsumu continues to ramble on how Kiyoomi has improved and how he misses tossing to him. Slowly, he can see the spiker's expression soften.

As much as he wants to know what's going on between the two, he reminds himself that it's not his business. Overall, he's happy that he got to play with his past setter, and that the setter himself is getting the recognition he deserves by being recruited by a foreign team.

\---

"Why are we watching this?" Kitsu asks, impatient.

"Why _shouldn't_ we be watching this?" Chiyoko corrects, chugging down a can of soda. That's her fifth can now. It only surprises both twins with how fit she is despite her regular sugar intake. That girl can probably handle a diet of eating two whole cakes a day while maintaining her slim figure. Damn.

"Yeah! Why shouldn't we be watching this?" Sumi turns to her brother. She sits on her aunt's lap, a bottle of milk in between her small hands. Chiyoko offered her soda but she turned it down, because _mama said it's not good for me_.

Kitsu turns to her, giving a skeptical stare. "Do you even understand this?"

"Of course!"

"Besides if she didn't, then she could learn from watching." Chiyoko chimes in, the can of soda not leaving her right hand.

"I said I can understand English!" Sumi huffs. Kitsu rolls his eyes.

Hamilton plays on the massive TV screen. Chiyoko has an obsession with musicals. She can bless her ears with the songs and entertain herself with the storyline at the same time. Truth be told, that's how she learned English. Because even if she won't admit it, nothing will change the fact that all the tutors and expensive language classes her parents signed her in were useless. During those days, she can't think about the discussions, instead she tries to suppress her thoughts of rebellion.

She's a bit glad that at least one of them spoke back to their parents. The three of them collected the same grudges towards the two people who gave them life.

Even till now, their parents still dictate them in a few portions of their lives. Such as their financing and division of bank accounts in between themselves, family members and spouses. Even Kirin— mind you, he's oceans away from his parents but their strict guidance still manages to follow him to Britain.

With the exception of Kiyoomi, of course. Kiyoomi cut off all ties with the Sakusas. The only thing that keeps him attached though is his surname, which cannot be changed no matter how much he wants it to. He's a male alpha— if he were to get married, his surname will only pass down to his spouse and children. So he literally cannot do anything about it.

Speaking of Kiyoomi, the said raven knocks on the front door— and with how careful the action is, Chiyoko can already identify that it's her brother.

"You smell like sugar. A lot of it." Kiyoomi comments as his sister opens the door. "How many sweets today and how long until you get diabetes?"

"Why hello to you too, ototo. How's your day?" The brunette dismisses her sibling's remark. "Where's Atsumu-kun?"

"He's with his twin now. He said he didn't want to get in the way of the 'Sakusa bonding time’." He quotes with his fingers.

"He's not getting in the way! Invite him back now!" Chiyoko rushes. It can’t be denied that Atsumu is very entertaining to talk to. He and Chiyoko have the same personality so it's actually no surprise to Kiyoomi that they get along.

"Papa!" Sumi and Kitsu run towards Kiyoomi. The alpha crouches down to hug his children. Although only Sumi approaches the hug.

"Kitsu?"

"You come from outside. Very dirty." Kitsu grimaces. "I still love you papa, don't worry."

Kiyoomi chuckles. "I'll take a bath later and you'll have to cuddle with me by then."

"Only if mama cuddles with us too." Kitsu pouts.

"Ooh! I like that idea!" Sumi claps vigorously.

"I'd like that too..." Kiyoomi mumbles from behind the mask.

"Then do something about it?" Chiyoko, who managed to hear Kiyoomi's faint wish, raises a brow with crossed arms. She's tired of her brother's pining, really. She never thought spectating a slow burn would be _that_ stressful and sanity-reducing. 

"Why don't you do something about your sugar intake, and that pining over Okawara-san?" The spiker counters, leading to a blush of embarrassment creeping on his sister's pale face.

"Shut up!" Chiyoko covers her face. "You're just jealous I don't get fat easily! Plus, me and Hanae actually dated!"

"Whatever makes you sleep better at night." Kiyoomi rolls his eyes and both twins laugh at their father and aunt's banter. 

\---

Chiyoko and the twins continue watching Hamilton as Kiyoomi takes a bath. Once he's changed and about to sit on the couch with them, a knock intrudes.

"Hm?" Chiyoko pauses the musical. She then lights up. "Kiyo did you text Atsumu to come?"

"No I didn't." Kiyoomi expresses his confusion as Chiyoko frowns. So this visitor is definitely not Atsumu. Soon, realization hits Chiyoko. "Shit. I think it's... They didn't tell me they were coming!"

"Who?" Kiyoomi asks, too distracted to mind the profanity the brunette let out. Without answering, Chiyoko turns to the twins. "Both of you need to hide."

"Why—"

As Kiyoomi is about to question his sister's arcane behaviour, he catches the scent of two familiar alphas.

"Chiyoko! We're coming in!"

Ah. Kiyoomi freezes. He's shaking when he runs to the twins and abruptly carries and places them behind the couch. He holds a pointer finger to his mouth, signaling them to stay quiet. When he gets up, standing straightly, the door opens to reveal two faces he hasn't seen in a long time.

"Chi— oh." A man almost in his late fifties comes into view, and a woman of the same age follows.

Kiyoomi wants time to stop. He wants to sprint out the door as fast as possible, carrying both twins with him. The desire to just disappear strengthens as both people turn to him, incredulity resting upon their faces.

Why? Because Kiyoomi doesn't need to see his parents again.

"Kiyo—"

"Don't—" The youngest alpha bites with all detest, takes a step back when his mother approaches. "—take another step in my direction."

"It's been a long time, son. Aren't you a bit relieved to be reunited?" His father asks but the question seems to only add to the bitter feeling that he tries to contain.

"Relieved? Whenever you're around, I have no freedom. What part of having no freedom is a relief?"

"Son—"

"CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME." Kiyoomi snaps.

Everyone stays silent.

After a reasonable duration of silence, Chiyoko reappears and clears her throat. "Okaasan, Otosan, you never informed me that you'll be visiting. How about I show you to the guest room? You must be tired."

Their father regains his composure after the sudden breakdown. He clears his throat as well before turning to his daughter. "Yes darling, that would be nice. We're very sorry for the abrupt visit."

"Ah! We know exactly where it is, Chiyo. Why don't you help your brother calm down first? We'll call you if we need anything." Their mother follows, tone sweet despite the thick tension diffusing around the atmosphere of their broken household.

When they walk past Kiyoomi, their father directs a glare at him. "Kiyoomi, we're not done yet—"

"Akiyoshi, stop." His wife pleads pitifully. She doesn't want her husband and her youngest child to be arguing, just like the last time Kiyoomi ever came home. Once they were both out of the living room- their figures no longer in sight, Kiyoomi panics as he turns to his older sister.

"Chiyo-nee, we have to get the twins out." He rushes. Chiyoko looks over her shoulder by the couch and scurries towards it. Hurriedly, the spiker pulls out his phone and wastes no time in looking for a specific contact.

Me: pick up the twins now

Miya Atsumu: something wrong?

Me: i'll explain it soon, just hurry

Miya Atsumu: got it, im borrowing samu's car— otw

"Papa, are you okay?" Kitsu asks, voice clearly trembling as he emerges from behind the couch.

The furrow of his brows seems to disappear as he crouches down in front of both children.

"Papa never yelled before." Sumi starts, voice just as shaky as her brother's. "Scary..."

"I'm sorry for scaring you sweetheart." Kiyoomi apologizes upon seeing the fear and suddenness in his kids. He immediately pulls them in a comforting hug, releasing calming pheromones. It's the most soothing lavender Sumi and Kitsu has ever smelled. "Mama's coming to fetch you, okay? I'm sorry you had to experience that."

"It's okay papa, just don't be sad." Sumi says, as she and Kitsu hug back.

After pressing a kiss on each of their foreheads, Kiyoomi's gaze points to his sister's. "Neesan, keep 'kaasan and otosan distracted while Atsumu isn't here yet."

Chiyoko nods as she runs to the guestroom to keep them busy. They can't know about the twins. If they do, Atsumu will be forced into this mess— the loss of freedom, the wrath of the Sakusas.

He might not be able to move out of the country. And even if Kiyoomi wants him to stay, he doesn't want Atsumu to be tied to a family that traumatised the alpha himself. He will do anything to keep that trauma away from the blond. Atsumu has so much emotion, so much kindness in him. And to be chained with amoral in-laws? He's going to lose all of that.

_He's going to lose himself._

And Kiyoomi can't lose the person who taught him how to be human— how to love.

Soon, a text arrives, the buzz of his phone notifying him.

Miya Atsumu: im here at the driveway. i'll wait for u

"Do you have everything? Are your stuff with you?" He turns to the kids. They then show their backpacks to him, an indication that they're all set.

"Alright, let's go."

\---

"That child keeps rebelling!" Sakusa Akiyoshi exclaims, stress prominent in his voice.

His wife, Sakusa Aimi has her head in her hands. To her it's just like dejavu, it's as if she's reliving a certain time more than five years ago— an argument that caused Kiyoomi to never show his face to them for an agonising number of years.

They lost a child. Now that he's back, she doesn't want to lose him again.

"I just want this to end." Aimi says, tearing up. "I miss the old Kiyoomi, the sweet boy who always obeys."

"Maybe." Chiyoko snaps, already lost her patience at how ignorant her parents are. With gritted teeth, she snarls. "Maybe the Kiyoomi you used to know wasn't the real Kiyoomi. Maybe that Kiyoomi was just the son you wanted to see."

Both parents look at her in shock. If there was one thing they taught their kids, it was to never talk back at the parents.

They always assumed they were in the right.

Because of that, Akiyoshi starts to scold. "First Kiyoomi, now you, Chiyoko? I didn't raise children who disobey the people that fed them!"

"Aki, please." Aimi begs. She'd rather not argue with a child than to lose one again.

Before anyone can say anything, Chiyoko's phone that was laid on the bedside table vibrates, catching everyone's attention. Akiyoshi, who is closest to that specific table, reads the notification that appears on her lockscreen.

Atsumu-kun: chiyoko-nee, please tell kiyoomi to come down. im here at the driveway already

Upon realizing what her father read, Chiyoko's eyes widen as panic-induced adrenaline flows all throughout her body, making her tremble. Shit.

"Chiyoko, who is this?" Aimi asks once she catches a glimpse of the message herself.

"N-nobody! Probably a wrong send!"

"Then why is Kiyoomi's and your name in here?" Akiyoshi starts with suspicion. "Are you two hiding something?"

"Nothing!"

Unfortunately, Chiyoko's not the best at lying. Everyone can see right through her. Akiyoshi stands up and walks out of the room, going to the location indicated in the text. Aimi follows, just to stop her husband from doing anything irrational.

"Otosan! Wait!" Chiyoko jolts up, yells as she runs after them.

\---

"Mama!" Both kids call out once they see Atsumu exit the car.

"Hey, what's the matter?" The blond asks as he spots Kiyoomi walking towards him with both kids in his arms.

"Miya." Kiyoomi follows. Although he walks casually, Atsumu can distinguish the panic in him, and it alarms himself. "Okaasan and otosan are here. They can't know about the twins."

Because Atsumu knows the situation between the alpha and his parents, he doesn't ask (although he'd very much appreciate it if Kiyoomi explains in the future). He nods as the raven and transfers Kitsu to Atsumu's arms. Both children seem to be panicked, so Atsumu takes the time to pacify Kitsu by running his free hand on his hair. As soon as Kiyoomi is about to transfer Sumi next, they're both startled by a sudden intrusion.

"Kiyoomi."

Both the setter and the spiker turn to the entrance of the condominium, where they see both Kiyoomi's parents frozen at the sight; Kiyoomi carrying a little girl and a blond carrying a little boy identical to the girl. Chiyoko trails behind her parents, out of breath, hand on the glass door for support as she stares into Kiyoomi's eyes— her gaze pleads of forgiveness.

Fuck.

\---

Atsumu feels scared. Merely sitting on an expensive couch shouldn't be this terrifying. But he's not merely sitting— he's sitting in front of two of the most influential people in Tokyo's business circle, Sakusa Akiyoshi and Sakusa Aimi. 

Kiyoomi is beside him, head hung low. The twins hide behind their parents, and Atsumu tries to release calming pheromones of his own but he can't— not when he's panicking on the inside, not when numerous lies appeal to him, each one he can use to his disposal just so he can escape this situation. 

He'll just have to lie. That's what he's good at after all.

Akiyoshi laughs, hysterical and sarcastic. "I never knew we had twin grandchildren. Wow we must be lucky." And then the unsettling grin disappears, replaced by a look of detachment. Atsumu can see how synonymous it is to Kiyoomi's everyday expression. "But we weren't lucky enough. Because they were hidden from us."

Kitsu's small hand clenches on Atsumu's coat, an indication of fear. This gesture means a lot considering that he came from outside. Usually Kitsu doesn't touch him when he comes home, only until he takes a bath. This dread the little boy feels is much stronger than his typical aversion to dirt. The omega wants nothing more than to hug his son and run his hand through his hair, to comfort him just like a while ago.

"Miya, right?" Aimi inquires and Atsumu's back immediately straightens as attention falls upon him. He nods, not trusting his mouth.

"Well then Miya-kun, Kiyoomi, why?"

None of them say a word. Agitation stitched their mouths shut.

"Answer, Kiyoomi." Akiyoshi says in between gritted teeth.

"ANSWER."

"It was my fault, Sir." Atsumu says, head held up high and brazen. After a nervous gulp, he immediately continues.

"I kept the pregnancy from Kiyoomi."

He feels the twins flinch behind him. The setter wants to cry, because he remembers Sumi's words from months ago.

_"All you do to us is lie."_

Atsumu closes his eyes. _I'm sorry._

Both Kiyoomi and Chiyoko's eyes widen at the sudden (false) confession. They both know the truth; it was Kiyoomi who pushed him away, not the other way around. Why would he lie about that?

Kiyoomi sneaks a hand next to Atsumu and he pinches an expanse of skin by the blond's wrist. That was enough to gather his attention because Atsumu turns to him as Kiyoomi glares at him. It seems like their eyes make the communication between them— invisible words printed on the irises of black and brown.

_'Why did you lie?'_

_'It's for your own good. Don't disagree with what I said.'_

"And why did you do that, Miya-kun?" Akiyoshi asks.

"I— I had to, sir. I was scared of his reaction, and I figured it would be easy for both of us if... if I hid it." The omega continues to lie.

Because Atsumu is a great liar and pretender, people seem to fall for his tricks. His masks are complex and leave no holes, which is why he's confident that both Aimi and Akiyoshi will assume his nervousness as a result of being caught. But what they don't know is that Atsumu is nervous not only for himself, but for Kiyoomi. He knows what will happen if they figure out that it's Kiyoomi's fault. They will degrade and castigate him.

Imagine people walking over Tokyo, spreading the ugly truth that the Sakusas' youngest child impregnated an omega and didn't take accountability. That will take a toll on the reputation of the whole family and not to mention, their business.

No child deserves to have parents who choose their family's dignity over their happiness.

This is why Kiyoomi panicked and didn't want anything to do with Atsumu back then. The pressure of the kids' grandparents plus the fear of implanting a childhood trauma in them; it overwhelms the alpha.

"You do know that those children are Sakusas?" Akiyoshi raises a brow, his tone is cold and animous— a clear sign of dislike to the omega.

Atsumu clenches his fist. Surely Kiyoomi has a reason for what he did and both his parents should realize that because of the trauma they gave him, both children started their lives as Miyas. And to the blond, they will continue with his last name.

"Pardon me for bein' rude. But these children are Miyas. I won't allow them to have the Sakusa last name that easily."

Atsumu has full custody of them. They can't do anything, even if they contact their best lawyers.

"Hmm, I see you're trouble." The older raven starts. "I don't know why Kiyoomi would spend time with an omega with you."

"And if Kiyoomi didn't spend time with an omega like me, then ya wouldn't have twin grandchildren, right?" Atsumu flashes a brave, sweet but venomous smile. Man, this family is getting on his nerves— they’re absolutely crazy. He should've known better than to assume that the alpha came from a stable background. His wealth might be more than stable but the people who raised him are more than bonkers.

"Why are you talking ba—"

"I have every right to speak. I was raised to say what I feel. It's a shame that not all children were raised like that." Atsumu says as innocently as possible, eyes of dawn shine with mischief. Everyone in the room knows that the setter was referring to Kiyoomi. His bold statement earlier was enough to emit a good few seconds of silence.

If this family is crazy then Atsumu is full-on insane.

Kiyoomi is still tense, but he takes this opportunity to speak up. He has to do something, to tell them the truth— he has to reveal the truth in order to contradict Atsumu's lies. "H-he's lying, I—"

"I apologize for foolin' around with yer son, sir. Ya don't have to worry though, I won't be walkin’ around Japan for long." The setter cuts Kiyoomi off. Atsumu on the other hand, has to hide the truth for as much as possible. With his ability to manipulate and fabricate it, it should be no trouble.

"And the children?" Akiyoshi asks, eyeing both kids who hide behind Atsumu, the little girl holding Kiyoomi's hand.

"It's up to me and Kiyoomi to discuss who stays and who goes." Atsumu counters, fearless. "All I'm sure of is that ya don't have any place in meddling with our decisions."

Akiyoshi analyses Atsumu. A feisty omega— there aren't a lot of these who would talk back to alphas. He wonders just what his son has involved himself with. He leans back on the couch, tea still in his hands as he closes his eyes. While Atsumu can see how much he acts and resembles Kiyoomi. The hair, the careful actions and the intimidating glares. Their eyes are just a different shade, Kiyoomi’s being way darker.

"Well then Miya-kun," Aimi starts, probably to reduce the tension. "Introduce us to them."

Aimi seems to have a more lighthearted reaction. She seems so relaxed about the situation that it scares Atsumu that she might've known the truth. Nonetheless, Atsumu obliges. He introduces both kids to her. Aimi is only at awe. The twins seem so similar, but so different at the same time. The distribution of genes did justice to both Kiyoomi and Atsumu.

"Miya-kun." Akiyoshi starts. "The least you can do is let the twins stay overnight here. Don't tell me you're going to contradict it too."

"No sir, it's only right that I do so, after hiding them from ya for all these years."

Kiyoomi's jaw tightens, his head still hangs low. With gritted teeth, he tightens his fist. What in the world is Atsumu doing? Hasn't he lied enough already?

Akiyoshi raises a brow. "Huh? Looks like you do have some decency left in you."

"I have plenty of decency in me. Why dontcha' get yer eyes checked?"

The older only replies with a 'tch'. It makes Atsumu feel smug. Picking a fight with the father of the person you love? Atsumu never thought he'd achieve that and it's quite satisfying knowing how much abuse he did on Kiyoomi back then.

Once the older couple retreat to the guestroom with the twins who were hesitant, Atsumu stands up, making his way to the front door. Preferably to leave and call the police if they don't give the kids back. But before he can take one step away from the couch, he feels himself getting shoved into the wall, strong hands pinning him, leaving no space to escape.

"Why did you do that?" Kiyoomi snarls, his fist tightly gripping Atsumu's shirt. Chiyoko immediately approaches them, trying to convince her brother to stop, but her words are a blur to the blond.

"I had to! I don't want ya gettin' degraded for somethin' that isn't yer fault!" Atsumu counters, his hands gripping Kiyoomi's arm.

"Except it is!"

"It isn't! You've suffered so much already! I don't want whatever little bond ya have with yer family to be broken!"

"Why do you care?!"

"Because I raised kids who didn't have a father. And it was never easy for 'em." Atsumu whispers, head low. And with more determination, he looks at Kiyoomi in the eye. "And ya can't keep runnin' away from them! You're three years to thirty! Why are ya still hidin' from them?"

"Then why won't you talk to me?"

"Huh?" Atsumu asks with a weak voice. He has an idea of what the younger is talking about.

"If you're implying that I should face the cause of my trauma then it's only fair that you do the same!"

"What do ya—"

"Why don't you ever face me, Atsumu?"

Desperation makes its way to Kiyoomi's face. His brows are furrowed, and his eyes are pleading. They plead to be given an answer, they plead to know what's on his mind, they plead for Atsumu to just _talk_ to him.

They plead for Atsumu to grace him with the truth.

But then again, all Atsumu has ever done is lie.

"I-I don't know what—"

"Don't act like a dumb blond." Kiyoomi grits his teeth harshly. "You never tell me what you really feel, you're always closed off. I know it's my fault for what happened back then but why won't you at least slap me with that bitter truth? Why aren't you yelling at me, why are you pretending? Why do you keep pretending? I hate how you limit your words, you suppress them until you break down. Don't play me with your lies when I can handle the truth!"

"N-no, I'm not—"

"Oh? You're going to lie again? Bullshit! People may fall for that, but I've known you long enough to do so. You conceal everything, and it's fucking annoying. I can barely read you but I know— you think you lie because it's for the best but you're actually doing the worst to yourself. If you want me to stop running away then why do you keep doing it?!"

"Why does it even matter to you?!" Atsumu snaps. "Why are you so absorbed in reading me? Don't ya have someone ya love? Focus on them and your feelings instead! Kiyoomi, we're nothing. Ex-teammates? Maybe. Ex-friends with benefits? Definitely. Old friends? I wouldn't count on it. We're strangers whose fucked up decisions lead us to where we are now; parents of children who don't have a stable family, okay? We're strangers and there's nothing more to it."

Atsumu thinks he might be imagining it, but he sees a look of hurt flash in the usually stoic face of the alpha. What's hurting him? Atsumu finally gave him what he wanted— the truth. It's not apocryphal, they really are strangers. 

"What? Why are ya starin' at me like that? Ya wanted me to tell the truth right? I told it to ya and now you're still unsatisfied. Will you rich people ever be satisfied?!"

It hurts Kiyoomi, the words sting like a cobra and leave him bleeding helplessly. They leave a heavy feeling, heavy enough to sink him deeper than the titanic. It hurts that Atsumu only thinks of him as nothing, it hurts that Atsumu only thinks of him as a stranger. And what's more, it hurts that Atsumu only thinks of him as an arrogant rich person who can toy with him whenever he wants to.

He thought that there was a possibility that Atsumu still loves him. He held on tight to that hope, keeping it close to his heart that just discovered newfound emotions. He thought that there was a chance that Atsumu's love for him can keep the blond himself from leaving— from leaving Kiyoomi in the same manner Kiyoomi left him. He thought that there was a chance that Atsumu’s love for him can anchor him to the root of it all— Kiyoomi. But alas, how can there be a chance when Atsumu's love for him doesn't exist anymore? Because of the current exchange, he's certain that it withered into nothing, into a regret that will constantly prick Kiyoomi like a thousand needles, into something that only Kiyoomi remembers. 

"Are ya going to answer me, Kiyoomi?"

"No, that's not the truth." Kiyoomi shakes his head, persistent. Although he seems composed, Atsumu can see his faint trembles, the way he slouches a bit more. He can see a whirlwind of pain everywhere in him. It hurts Atsumu to see him that way— to see Kiyoomi hurt because of the blond himself.

But nothing will change the fact that he's still clouded with fury; another outburst of pent up emotions.

"Then what the fuck do ya possibly know?!"

"What do I know? Is that you have a gold tongue." Kiyoomi snaps, teeth gritted, voice as serious as his inner alpha. "And I've had enough of gold."

The alpha lets the omega go, he turns his heel and walks towards the other unoccupied room, not looking back at the stunned Atsumu.

Kiyoomi grew up with gold; golden cash, golden expectations, a pressure as heavy as gold, and heavier disappointed looks from his parents. The jewelry his parents have is all gold and everytime he looks at them, he feels disgusted. The money his family holds equivalents a whole mountain of gold. He's tired of it, of that stupid material that people brag about, of that stupid mineral that'll determine one's wealth, of that stupid four letter word.

But when he met Atsumu, he thought that gold wouldn't be so exhausting anymore. Although dyed, his hair glimmers of gold. His eyes— they shine of the most beautiful shade of gold that the raven has ever seen. His skin— tanned and smooth like the surface of gold. 

Atsumu is the only definition of gold that never seems to tire Kiyoomi.

But again, Atsumu has a gold tongue.

The ability of having a gold tongue is the ability to manipulate and hide the truth, to lie, to deceive and conjure up fables— it's Atsumu's specialty, the cherry on top of his golden persona.

Miya Atsumu — A man of love and lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> atsumu: we're nothing but strangers
> 
> me: damn dude that hurts like hell. good job fucking up
> 
> hi my name's thlee and this is your daily dose of ANGST. this is why i should remind yall to prepare tissues while reading if even the littlest angst makes u cry.
> 
> oh and can u spot the 2 hamilton references? i love putting references ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ
> 
> so i deacted my twt but if u want to ask me something, don't hesitate to appear on my cc! (@uno_dos_thles) its quiet as a ghost town there, yall are not asking anything haha
> 
> i'll try my best to write the next chapter as soon as possible. i know i complain about school a lot (deped im not fucking sorry) but i hope its the least bit understandable to yall. thank you so much for your patience.


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